She had been defeated. Crushed. Humiliated. She had L-O-S-T to the power of a superior L-O-V-E! That pigtailed girl had completely shown her what T-R-U-E L-O-V-E was! To think… she was able to show that love to another girl even! Mariko, who had dedicated her life to understanding love, using it as her source of her power… to lose to… well… in hindsight she didn’t think the pigtailed girl actually liked Kuno that much.
Normally this would have been the end of it. This cheerleader martial arts master would have gone to sleep, put Tatewaki Kuno to the back of her mind, chalked the whole experience up as one to learn from, then set about the next day worrying about her school's next cheerleading challenge. As you can probably gather from the tone of this paragraph, that was not to be this time around.
This time around something cosmic happened. A little shard of something magical pierced the boundaries between realities and struck Mariko Konjo right in her H-E-A-R-T. It settled there, it stayed there, and it changed that young girl's thought process as surely as it changed her fate.
"Of course!” in a flash Mariko was standing up, pom-poms in hand. “Those two had so much love between them! I, like, can’t just forget about them! They’ve proven their L-O-V-E, so let’s bring up their S-K-I-L-L! Together, we’ll make the best Martial Arts Cheer Squad E-V-E-R!”
She could picture it now! Akane and the pigtailed girl, both in their adorable cheerleader uniforms. The pigtailed girl with a feisty dragon print. Akane Tendo with a super cute pink top! Both of them in front of Mariko, facing one another and doing high knee lifts. On each hand a pom-pom. The hand away from Mariko resting on their hips, while beneath the other their hands would be secretly intertwined while Mariko jumped up and cheered on their boundless L-O-V-E!
"Oh it's, like, so cuuuute!" she squealed, fist pumping the air with her pom-poms. "Akane Tendo, pigtailed girl! Your destiny will now unfurl. Even if push comes to shove, lacking need to prove your love. I'll have you chanting, have no fear! I'll make you do some cutsie cheers!"
If the world thought it had seen the full horrors of Martial Arts Cheerleading, it had better think again. For now those horrors were being enchanted by lesbian powers from beyond the veil! As Mariko cheered and chanted in her room about all the things she'd have Akane and the pigtailed girl do as cheerleaders, thunder crashed ominously outside.
Perhaps the most terrifying part of it all was that Mariko had next to no intention to intrude upon the mutual L-O-V-E between the two. She'd be content to water those lovely lilies... at least for the time being.
<hr>
This was not a date. That was a very important thing to keep in mind. In spite of what the rumour mill at school was saying about the two of them, they were not dating. They hadn't slept together, they hadn't kissed. They had seen each other naked a couple times, more times than one would expect two people who weren’t dating would have, but even Ranma was sensible enough not to point that out in public. Twice in a lifetime.
The important thing was: This wasn't a date. It was a study group. In a public cafe. With just the two of them. And because they were short on change, they were sharing one tall drink with a straw for each of them.
"Gosh, isn't that couple adorable?"
Ranma twitched at the comments from the peanut gallery. It felt like every five seconds some chump decided that pointing to the two of them just trying to study and declaring them to be the cutest couple ever to live. Which was a laugh when one half of this 'cute' couple was the least cute chick in Furinkan!
"Ignore them Ranma," Akane sniffed. "You know what they say. Rumours run cold after seventy five days."
"Seventy five days is two and a half months..." Ranma groused.
"Mommy, mommy! Look at the married couple!"
M-married?! Ranma immediately stood up to ask whatever gave the squirt that impression - then caught sight of a wedding procession heading by the cafe. He turned to stone at the thought. Especially when, looking at the bride, what he was seeing was a totally different face...
"Ahem!" Akane yanked hard on his pigtail. "As I was saying! In a few days, we'll be visiting my mother's grave. Daddy is inviting you and your father, but the two of you had better be on your best behaviour."
That tore it. He reached across the table and pinched her cheeks. "When am I not on my best behaviour?" he asked. Then, she retaliated in kind.
"How about when you’re awake?" she asked, sticking out her tongue. Ooh, that uncute tomboy!
“Awwww look at that cute little lover’s spat!”
"We're not lovers!" Ranma and Akane yelled at once - then both of them realised at the same time that there was actually a completely different couple over in the corner of the cafe whisper shouting at one another. Guh! This whole thing was a total nightmare! For once though he didn't want to blame Akane for this. It wasn't her fault everyone was acting up like this. It wasn't his fault either. No. There was only one person to blame, and he was glad to see the back of her. That witch, that snake, that phony cheer filled ditzy airheaded nuisance -
“Hello Akane Tendo! How great to S-E-E you again!”
Once upon a time Ryoga Hibiki had promised with all of his heart and soul to ruin Ranma's happiness. If he tried for a hundred thousand years he could not be a tenth as successful as that bubbly bimbo tone in dragging down his mood.
"Mariko," Ranma growled at her. She was at least wearing normal clothes this time around instead of that dumb cheerleader uniform. A knee length skirt and a tucked in blouse. If he didn't know better he'd swear she was a totally normal girl. "What do you want?"
Mariko looked towards him for a second as if to say something, then her eyes glazed over and she turned back towards Akane. Huh? Weird.
"I wanted to congratulate you on having such a wonderful relationship!” Flash-step, ugg Ranma forgot how fast this chick could be, and she was holding Akane’s hands and giving her a bright sunshine smile.
“We don’t have a relationship!” Ranma shouted.
Then, to Ranma’s surprise, Mariko glanced over to him, and her expression reminded him of someone spotting an unusually large cockroach. “Not you. Like, this some idiot you tutoring Akane?”
“Uh…” Akane said, “We’re... uh, helping each other study?”
"Oh?" Mariko asked. "Is the pigtailed girl bringing the books?"
Oh right. She didn’t know about the curse, a plus in Ranma’s book. Also, it struck him that, oh yeah, for their study group neither one of them had actually brought studying material. Weird how he hadn't noticed that until now.
“What kind of relationship?” Akane finally asked, quickly gaining a suspicious expression.
Mariko spun around, a microphone in her hands, flower petals scattering through the air. “What else? The pure, sweet, beautiful L-O-V-E between you and the Pigtailed Girl!” They could all see the image in Mariko’s head. Girl-Type Ranma in a femininely cut suit, carrying Akane bridal style in, well, a wedding dress.
Oh, so this was what death felt like!
"I don't see that we have anything to do with each other," Akane said. Uh oh. He knew that tone. That was the tone that said 'one wrong word and you can kiss the sky, buster.' Kind of weird it wasn't aimed his way for a change, but this one time he'd be willing to help her level of elevation. "You lost the contest, and our volleyball teams aren't playing one another for at least another three months. If you want a rematch you'll have to wait for then!"
"Oh no. I don't want a rematch," Mariko batted her eyes. "I, like, wanted to offer you and the pigtailed girl the chance to learn some <i>real</i> cheerleading martial arts! Yay!"
“Real cheerleading martial arts?” Akane asked.
“Yes! With your L-O-V-E you beat me, who’s been learning the style since the cute age of F-O-U-R! Imagine what you’ll be able to do with practice!”
Huh...? Akane learning cheerleader martial arts? Ranma blinked and then his mind went walkabout.
<i>"Hey Akane... Where's your gi?"
"I threw that old ratty thing out. Now that I'm a cheerleader this is how I F-I-G-H-T now!"
High kick... Tiny skirt...Tight fitting leotard with cute frills…Every time they sparred...</i>
“Absolutely not!” Table slam! Too dangerous. Way too dangerous. Because Akane would totally klutz out and not because he’d suffer sudden constant anemia from the nose! "No way am I letting a snake like you teach her cheerleading martial arts!"
"Ranma..." Akane said, with a slight sigh in her voice that was <i>not cute</i>.
"B-besides, it's more for your protection than it is hers! She's a total klutz! She'll break all your equipment, your uniforms probably won't even fit her properly..."
"Ranma!" Akane growled in a voice that, for serious, really was the polar opposite of cute. "Alright! That's it! Lead on, Mariko! I'll be sure to master martial arts cheerleading before you know it! Honestly!"
"Yipee!" Mariko skipped in place. "Oh, gosh. Come right along Akane." Mariko gave Akane a quick once over with an extremely lustful gaze. Not that either Ranma or Akane noticed, as they were too busy staring holes through one another's skulls. "You're gonna make a C-U-T-E cheerleader. Mark my words. You're going to feel the L-O-V-E."
- Step one, get Akane measured for a perfect Cheer-uniform!
- Ranma shows up to the training as the pigtailed girl.
- Ranma goes a step more devious: He sends Shampoo along to the training!
- Things get more complicated, when Ranma and Akane run into this pleasant looking woman in a kimono with an oddly shaped bundle.
- Something else
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