Mercifully her clothes changed back to normal as soon as she was more than ten feet away from Darl- From Ataru. The moment she crossed that boundary it felt like she'd walked right into a wall of needles and kept on going. For a few steps afterwards she really, really wanted to turn around, head back to Dar- Ataru to give him a piece of her ass. Mind. She meant mind and any attempt to persuade her otherwise would very quickly wind up buried very deeply under a pile of denial.
Oh, now Shinobu knew the real reason that she wanted to turn around and go back to the tender (perverted) arms of her loving dear <i>Darling</i> Ataru. Of course she did. She wasn't stupid. She knew it was a justification, that she wouldn't really yell at him when she got there. No, they'd probably just hang around all night watching movies and chilling. This, incidentally, was a harder thing to do back in the 70s before Netflix was invented. But anyway! The point was that Shinobu was no fool and she could see right through her brain trying to trick her, it was so obvious.
Obvious that she didn't want to return home and explain the news report to her parents, that is. What's that? You thought she was suppressing a long deeply suppressed erotic fantasy about being a member of Ataru's harem? No, no. Don't be daft. I mean, sure when they were little she had promised to become that for him, and sure when she eventually learned what that was she her heart skipped a beat or three (Before throwing him into the river for suggesting it). It didn't prove anything. Nor did her plans to go as one for that costume party last year before her parents bought her that cute and innocent witch costume. (Serving as a stunning contrast to the witch costume Ataru had suggested to her.)
Anyway, she was distracting herself from the real problem here: She'd been on the news dressed up like Ataru's haremgirl. In his room. With a Goddess who introduced them both as part of his harem. Oh gosh! Her mother must be throwing a fit and her father must be weeping at the shame his daughter has brought upon their family! Or making good use of his whetstone. Maybe both. Probably also trying to research the most efficient and painful way to castrate a boy.
Her imagination kept on throwing that kind of thing at her again and again, yet she knew... She knew that she couldn't put it off forever. Eventually she would have to return home. Face the music. Own up to what had happened. Try to explain something that seemed totally unexplainable.
"I'm home?" she called timidly into the house. No reaction. Shinobu winced and tread carefully inside. No sign of her parents. She'd been expecting them by the front door. It was unlocked so they must be in. "hello?" she called out, though her tone betrayed that she had no real interest in anyone finding her. With a nervous gulp, she trod up the stairs to her room. One creaky step at a time. They must be in her room. Right? Waiting for her. Pitching out her clothes or angrily pacing around or...
<i>“And that concludes our exclusive interview with the alien princess playing against Earth Champion Ataru Moroboshi!”</i>
Or staring at the TV with rapt attention.
"Mother," Shinobu half sobbed, half yelped. "F-Father! I can explain -"
As one her parents rose to their feet, their backs still turned to her. "Explain"? Her father said. "You honestly think you can explain... How alien life evolved on another world to appear that similar to human?!"
If you listened closely you might just have heard the rug being pulled out from under Shinobu's feet. Eh? What?
"Now dear, it's entirely possible that they're using some form of advanced technology to mimic our appearance," her mother said. "Consider: Wasn't she just a little <i>too</i> cute in that tiger print bikini? Not to mention that aesthetic rather fits too neatly with the Japanese Oni creature."
“Ah but perhaps this is not the first time they’ve been to our world, and the Oni of myth was merely a record of our ancestor's encounter with them!” Her father said, adjusting his glasses.
"It still does not explain why their representative happens to be a scantily clad young woman with all the hallmarks of modern feminine attractiveness."
What... What was happening right now? Shinobu's head was reacting in much the same way as if she was watching a tennis match, turning left and right in quick succession as her parents went into tremendous detail and discussion about the myriad implications and ramifications of the Oni invasion of Earth.
"It makes you wonder though. Why play a game of tag? They're clearly technologically superior to us, if they're able to make crafts capable of travelling the enormously vast distance between galaxies." Father asked.
"There must be an ulterior motive. Perhaps they intend to broadcast it as entertainment for their home world? Look at the primitives struggle for their freedom! I bet they'll throw the match in the end, just for the sake of a good story."
"Hrm... that is the most plausible theory. The alternative is equally likely: An extremely alien system of morality that dictates they give us at least a fighting chance. Oh, to be able to interview one personally to find out more about their culture!"
"Yes, yes. Those reporters were asking such obvious questions. 'Do you have a boyfriend?' Bah! Does she even know the concept? For all we know their mating procedures could be almost anything."
“Err…” Shinobu said finally finding a space to speak, “Ataru did ask her on a date kind of and she said she’d do it if he won.”
"Aha! Yes, that does make sense," her father nodded. "Of course, of course! He'd definitely want to have that alien in his harem."
"I hope he succeeds!" her mother said excitedly. "It'd provide us with an excellent chance to interview her directly. Ask some sensible questions. She'd hardly say no to the parents of one of her harem sisters, now would she?"
That's it, the world has gone mad! “W-wait! Mother! Father! You… this… the harem.. It‘s not! It’s not what you think!”
"Oh?" her father asked. "Didn't that boyfriend of yours accidentally summon forth an eldritch being taking the form of a beautiful Goddess, then make the only wish he would have realistically made under those conditions resulting in you, and probably several other lucky select girls joining a polyamorous relationship focused on him, AKA: a harem?"
“How do you know that!?” Shinobu shreiked.
“They interviewed Ataru and his new goddess friend before Miss. Lum.” Her mother said. “They stuck a camera straight into Ataru’s room!”
"Apparently she cannot lie, even lies of omission. At the very least she was quite informative about the nature of reality so far as she is aware of it."
“Y-you can’t be OK with that Dad! Shouldn’t you be sharpening your sword or something over Ataru defiling me or something!?”
"Eh? Sharpening my sword? Why would I do that when you and that Moroboshi boy have had such a healthy swinger relationship for quite a while now?"
Her mother laughed, “Like Daughter like Parents am I right?” Thus revealing more about her parents' sex lives then Shinobu ever wanted to know.
Right... So bed seemed like a good thing about now. Bed and a healthy dose of repression. This was all a bad dream. All a bad dream. A nightmare she'd wake up from soon. Shinobu trudged out of the room, leaving her perve- parents to their riveting conversation on the implications of both gods being real and humanoid life on other worlds. And if that last part wasn't a sign this wasn't real life then what could be? Next thing it would turn out there were such things as Ice Princesses on Neptune, or perhaps the Lucky Gods themselves were also real.
"Night night..." Shinobu yawned, tucking herself into bed, closing her eyes -
"Good night Shinobu," Belldandy said, gently adjusting Shinobu's blanket.
...
Shinobu sat up bolt upright. This wasn't her room! This was Ataru's room! And these weren't her pyjamas, either! It was her haremgirl outfit which was... Actually surprisingly comfortable as sleepwear come to think of it. “What am I doing here!?”
“Eh? You just walked in and laid down next to me!” Ataru said. "Not that I'm complaining, you're always welcome to walk right on in any time you want." He lovingly patted her rear.
After Shinobu had extracted her fist from his face she took several deep breaths. Nope. That wasn't enough. "Why am I here?" she asked Belldandy. Apparently the Goddess couldn't lie, not even lies of omission.
"I'm afraid it might be the effect of the Wish.” Belldandy said.
“Yeah, what kind of harem doesn’t all sleep together in a big happy bed!” Ataru said
"Don't worry," Belldandy smiled. "When you walk out that door in the morning you will be back at your own home. Now, admittedly this more blunt than usual. I honestly thought when you showed up the Ultimate Force had just guided you back here, but nope! Spatial warping!”
In other words, that was the only way to get Shinobu into Ataru’s bed without his bad luck ruining it. A reality altering wish and spatial distortions.
"The problem is, this kind of spatial warping will have some side effects."
"Side effects?" Shinobu's head snapped up. "Like... Say, your parents starting to act like a couple of weirdos who are totally okay with me being part of a harem and thinking that I've been with Ataru all this time because they noticed I'm actually okay with having threesomes with him and hot girls?"
"I would not say that is a likely side effect," Belldandy said.
"But it's possible, right?!"
"Technically, it is within the realm of possibility," Belldandy admitted. Even she was sweating a little under the pressure Shinobu was exerting. "Though I strongly doubt -"
"Oh thank goodness!" Shinobu stood up, hands on hips and laughing. "That explains everything! Hahaha! It's not that my parents are weird! It's this weirdness that's having an effect on their behaviour!"
Belldandy opened her mouth, but Ataru put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. “Let her have this.” He said, in an unusual burst of wisdom.
Belldandy nodded after a moment. Just because she couldn't lie, that didn't mean she was completely compelled to dispel every fiction or misunderstanding she encountered. Otherwise whenever she walked past a library or heaven help her a political press conference... Oh dear.
<hr>
High above the Earth in her own personal craft, Lum was having some trouble sleeping. It was the anticipation that was doing it. Tomorrow she'd be racing for the fate of the blue bauble below her. That makes it sound like she was trying to save it. But no. She didn't really care all that much about it. And that may make her seem unfeeling, but... It's almost impossible to really care about people when they're only a statistic.
Which meant that the one earth person she had met who wasn’t a mere statistic… well…
He was stuck in her mind for some reason! It didn't make any sense. Sure enough she'd been wanting someone interesting rather than someone handsome, but that guy was pretty average looking and the only interesting thing about him was... that woman. Whoever she was, she was no Earth woman, that was for sure. What alien race did she belong to? Lum was wracking her brains trying to work it out... Or at least that was what she wanted to devote her brainpower to, but it kept on going back to that dumb, inane smile as he made that stupid harem challenge.
So that was it, then. That was the wager. Earth's freedom versus her becoming a harem girl. It didn't sound ridiculous: It <b>was</b> ridiculous! First of all there was no way that human was going to tag her horns, not in this lifetime. On the other, what kind of bizarre challenge was that meant to be in the first place? Lum couldn't even figure out where to start decrypting that!
On the whole then: Anxious. A lot to think about. Was it any wonder she couldn't sleep a wink? Oh, but she wanted to. Oh, but she tried. Sleep was as evasive as she would be tomorrow. Assuming she didn't curl up into a ball on the warm pavement on Earth and fall asleep right before the race. And then he’s grab her by the horns, kiss her, and introduce her to her new harem-sisters and-
"Sleeeeeepppyyyyy!" Lum complained to nobody in particular. She let out a yawn while floating in mid-air. Ugh! "Computer... Sleep remedies!"
“Processing. Processing.” The computer said, “Suggestion: Perhaps a change of sleepwear?”
"What sort of change?" she asked.
"A facemask may help with breathing, which is often attributed to lack of sleep."
Yes, that made sense. Something to wear over her face? Lum blinked very, very slowly and looked around. The only thing she could see was this yellow translucent cloth with a handy pair of looped strings. She picked it up and tied them in place around her mouth. She smiled faintly. That might actually have helped a little bit. Not enough, but a start.
"Anything else?" she said around a yawn.
"It is possible that unusual temperatures are affecting your sleeping ability. Therefore, recommend additional layers."
Additional layers...? Huh. Lum didn't really have much in the way of alternative clothing. In fact this was her only bikini, which did raise several issues regarding her personal hygiene. Still, her gaze did fall upon a pair of translucent looking yellow trousers that she got from... somewhere. Still, they did look comfy. Snug. Warm. So Lum pulled them on. Ooh! That was an odd feeling. She didn't usually wear clothes like this.
Of course, what Lum wasn't seeing was the effect that the Ultimate Force, already having marked her for Haremhood, was having on her already. Acclimating her to accept the 'uniform' of a harem girl before she was even officially a member. If she wasn't careful then she might even show up for the race dressed like this, and all but behaving like she had already lost.
That is, unless...
Knock knock knock! “Sweetie?”
“Daddy?” Lum’s face reddened, feeling suddenly a bit embarrassed as being seen wearing this outfit. Though why she couldn’t quite press.
“There’s a <b>real</b> interviewer here, Galactic Press and everything, from some planet called “Niflheem” or somethin like that. Said she wanted to interview you, you up for it? I know it’s late.”
Another one? Well, Lum had enjoyed the Earth Media interviews. Being able to rant about her ex-boyfriend had been rather cathartic. Though asking about her three sizes had been a little personal. “Sure, let them in.”
The door came open and Lum drifted over, bleary eyed and yawning to greet them.
The interviewer was a blonde woman in a black outfit and cape, with weird markings on her face. "Hello Princess I bring you- oh good lord of evil he's already got his hooks in you. I came just in the nick of time! My name is Mara and... I have a hell of a deal for you."
- What's Urd up to during all of this? Aside from keeping far, far away from Ataru so she doesn't get haremised.
- Skuld is looking into ways of breaking off this wish.
- Mara makes her pitch.
- The tag race begins!
- Something else
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