On the day before a school swim meet, it was not unusual in the least to find the Golden Salmon congregating in each other's bedrooms, scheming and plotting, strategising at the last possible moment, thinking through how best to overwhelm, dominate and crush all competition. In fact that was why they had met up this time today, fully intending to do that.
What wasn't so usual was the discovery that a student at their school, a renowned genius and both Queen of the nerd and Queen of the bitches, had invented the means to give one certain... extra endowments.
"Operation Bra-Buster is a go!" Saito said, her eyes swimming with stars. "Wahoo! Those dummy girls will be so thicc they'll double as floatation devices!"
"Doesn't thicc usually refer to thighs and hips?" Kahori asked with her hand raised.
“Am I a porno writer or something?” Saito asked, rolling her eyes at the question. "The point doesn't matter. What is getting this... this..."
"Bustinator?" Yumi suggested.
"Bustinator!" Saito said, snapping her fingers and pointing at Yumi in agreement. "We need to get our hands on the bustinator and then find a way to use it on the girls from the other schools before the meet. We're on a crunch, and the second half of the operation is wholly dependent on the first half finishing with enough time. So! We need to break into Chise's place - "
"The home of a mad scientist girl noted for her paranoia and vindictive nature," Miiko interrupted. The rest of them filled in the blanks for that one right away. It would be, like, a Home Alone recreation, except instead of getting smacked in the face with a paint can you'd get smacked in the face with a Uranium rod. Yeah, no thanks. They didn't want to wind up literally being turned into Golden Salmons, thank you very much.
"Okay, fine. New plan!" Saito said. "We don't do it ourselves, we get <i>her</i> to do it for us."
"Um, can we go back to the part where she's kind of petty and if we tried to force her into doing it she'd just, I don't know, completely wreck our shit with her weird science?" Miiko said. "And she's a little too smart to be so easily manipulated into doing something that so obviously helps us out."
"Well, she must want something!" Saito said, throwing her hands up into the air. "If we can find out what she wants, we'll have this in the bag!"
There was a long moment of silence. They didn't really know her all that well. Not when you got right down to it. They tended to keep their distance as much as possible because, well, she had a reputation. A well earned reputation. You didn't stay on top of the pile by picking a fight with someone who could potentially humiliate you in a way you didn't see coming, you did it by fending off people who wanted to take your spot. Chise hadn't ever made a move for their spot, so...
"Eito," Miiko eventually said, with great reluctance. "She wants Eito."
"The guy that ignored me, and then shoved a cat in my face?!" Saito nearly yelled. "That dork? She wants <i>him</i>?!" Then she stopped for a moment, and a truly evil smile fell upon her face. "That, arranged, can be."
<hr>
Eito stood in front of Chise's door with his hand raised over it, ready to knock at a moment's notice. Alright then. Here goes! He'd practised this on the way here inside his own head. He was going to apologise for what had happened over the last few days. Then, he was going to say that he was trying to help Koemi out by investigating the competition. It wasn't <i>exactly</i> true, but telling them something like 'I found a machine invented by Chise's dad that unerringly predicts future events and how to change things to your own advantage' probably wouldn't go down too well either.
He closed his eyes. Then he rapped his knuckles three times against the wooden door. Huh. Squishier than normal. Also, that was an almost erotic moan. Eito reached out and took a quick squeeze, that wasn't the door, what had he -
"You have three seconds to enjoy this, before you lose that hand forever," Chise's voice warned. Eito slowly opened his eyes and - mother of all mammaries! "One. Two."
"Yipe!" Eito yelped, pulling his hand away from Chise's right boob like it had caught fire. "Ch-Chise, you're - you're!"
"I'm what?" Chise asked through grit teeth. "Go on. Tell me. It's not like I've been spending the entire morning trying to figure out how the fuck it happened. Or trying to fucking undo it. So go ahead. Tell me something that I don't already fucking know!"
"You're... really hot?" he offered. Quite a bit out of character for him, but it was all that he could think of. "Are - are you not wearing a bra?"
"Actually, I am, but these things are so big that ..." she trailed off and looked down, then began to blush. He'd never seen her blush before. It was kind of cute.
"Heyo! Hi, guys! It's me, your good friend Koemi!"
Indeed it was, skipping up to stand in place next to Eito. She took one look over at Chise, then turned around and grabbed Eito's shoulders.
"Eito, I'm sorry. We cannot be together anymore," she said. "I've only just realised that I'm completely gay for Chise, and intend to spend the rest of my life motorboating her giant -"
"This is no time for your wacky sense of humour!" Chise slapped the top of Koemi's head with a rolled up newspaper. "You two knuckleheads, making fun of me at a time like this! You're damned lucky I didn't use the boobinator on you!"
Oh thank goodness, this sudden second growth spurt had made both girls forget all about the weirdness that he'd been -
Suddenly something clicked over Eito's wrist. Eito looked at it. Some sort of weird handcuff sort of thing with a flashing light on it. He then looked at both girls, who seemed awfully smug all of a sudden.
"Got him!" Koemi said. "Toldja your big boobs would distract him long enough for me to slip it on."
"I didn't doubt that for a second," Chise said. Then she reached behind the back of her head, and suddenly her far too tight clothes seemed to... fit more naturally to her body. "I'd rather use my mind than sex appeal to get what I want, that's all."
"Uhhh?" Eito said, pointing at the device. "What's this for?"
Both girls smiled, then Chise picked up her backpack, walked past him, and linked arms with Koemi. Then the two of them walked off together with a cocky strut that <i>had</i> to be practised.
"Uh, girls? What's this for?"
"Oh gee, I don't know," Chise said. "I mean, if we're starting to not tell each other things, then I guess we shouldn't be telling you. What do you think, Koemi?"
"Hrm, maybe one of those other girls he's been hanging out with will know the answer," Koemi said.
Eito's face fell, and he stared at the device in muted horror, wondering what nightmare Chise had cooked up for him. It could be anything. Literally anything. It was too late for an apology and explanation now. The girls had already decided to take drastic action. And, worse yet, he didn't have any further commands until the day of the swim meet, when he was supposed to smooch Koemi!
What the hell was he going to do now?!
- It's a tracking device, so the girls know where he is and can listen in at any time.
- It's a punishment device, so the girls can let him know how they feel about him any time they want.
- It does something else entirely (fatesplit)
- Character Index
It’s FATE Character Index (Swimmers indicated with bold)
Main Characters
Eito – The protagonist. Shy yet mostly selfless student at P.S. 6. Coerced by the FATE computer to complete 13 tasks. Good friends with Chise and Koemi.
Chise Watanabe – Eito’s childhood friend. Daughter of the FATE Computer’s designer. Very forward, likes to tease Eito. Formed a pact with Miiko Kajiyama to investigate Eito.
Koemi Hara – Eito’s childhood friend. Swim Team member who never comes close to winning. Silly sense of humor. Just discovered she was in love with Eito.
Public School No. 6
Kahori Fujishima – One of the ‘Golden Salmon’. Very trusting, nice girl who is obsessed with thinking about finding a boyfriend.
Miiko Kajiyama – Saito’s friend. An expert at the social relationships at Eito’s high school. Loves snooping.
Saito Komon – Swim Team star, and leader of the ‘Golden Salmon’. Very self-confident. Conspiring against Eito for ignoring her and bringing a cat near her.
Yoko Tsutomu – One of the ‘Golden Salmon’. A psychopathic competitor that shies away from attention, but obsessed when competing. Eito’s newest friend?
Yumi Abe – One of the ‘Golden Salmon’. Seductive fashion trend-setter. Broadcasts her emotional state through her clothes.
Public School No. 9
Yoshi Fukunaka – Swim Team member. Generates phobias seemingly at random. Whenever confronted with whatever she’s afraid of at that particular moment, puts on an obviously faked brave face to try to hide it.
Yumako Kijmuta – Eito’s new friend. Bouncy Swim Team member. Loves wrestling and is clueless about her own strength and sex appeal.
Koken Nomura – Mayo’s older sister. Short, unnaturally quiet with a tomboy personality. Likes Eito.
Mayo Nomura – Koken’s sister, younger by one year. Swim Team member. Unnaturally quiet yet feminine.
Ai Santo – Swim Team member. Whenever she sees her reflection in glass, something bad happens to her or a person near her. She’s gotten good at avoiding mirrors and windows. Really, really good.
Cho Santo – Swim Team member. Counts whenever given opportunity. Obsessed with numbers and statistics. Especially physical measurements.
Public School No. 3
Michiko Ishinomori – Swim Team member. Obsessive matchmaker. The cuter a potential couple, the more obsessive she becomes. Has no compunction against setting one person up with multiple people at once.
Misa Joshuya – Swim Team member. A lesbian, but unlike Namiyo is totally okay with the fact. Crushing hard on Namiyo. Poor girl.
Namiyo Maeno – Swim Team member. A lesbian in denial. Has nearly constant perverted fantasies about the attractive women around her, but pretends they didn’t happen, no sir!
Seiko Tomimoto – Swim Team member. Likes to make up crazy-ass predictions that could never come true. Strange how the few normal-sounding ones are never wrong.
Sae Yoshikawa – Swim Team member. Obsessed with spy movies, and likes to make gadgets to spy on people, particularly the swim teams of other schools.
100 m Freestyle - List of Competitors
Public School No. 3
Namiyo Maeno
Sae Yoshikawa
Public School No. 6
Koemi Hara
Saito Komon
Public School No. 9
Yumako Kijmuta
Mayo Nomura Unknown substitute
The 13 Instructions
Output: Koemi Hara comes in first during the upcoming swim meet. (ES001)
Petitioner: Eito
Stimuli: The petitioner has been charged with completing tasks (13) in order as follows:
1. “At 4:15:47 pm, shout the word ‘Cedar’ at the corner of West Street and Hope Street.” - Completed
2. “Purchase a pack of sugar-free gum at a gas station, then leave it unopened on the fourth park bench in Victory Park.” - Completed
3. “Pick up the orange tabby cat that attempts to cross your path.” - Completed
4. “Change the channel on the television set in the window of Elephant Electronics to channel 42.” - Completed
5. “Go to Triumph Stadium. Buy two tickets.” - Completed
6. “Tomorrow morning, place ten random marbles in your pocket and carry them around all day.” - Completed
7. In gym class, “ask to go to the bathroom when first out of play.” - Completed
8. “Share lunch.” - Completed
9. At half of two in the afternoon, say the words “I’m sorry.” (During math class) - Completed
10. Before leaving school for the day, use your cellphone to call Chise’s house, then hang up when she answers. - Completed
11. “After leaving school, throw the contents of your pocket at the first group of three girls you see.” - Completed
12. Set out ten glasses of yummy milk, and Chise's favourite brand of cookies. - Completed
13. “After the bell rings to signal the end of lunch period on the final day kiss Koemi Hara.”
No comments:
Post a Comment