Sunday, 15 March 2020

Story: DxD Loot Crate


Sona Sitri versus Kallawarner and Mittelt was like pitching a death battle between Joseph Joestar and a pair of Goombas from World 1-1. Why is that? Well, in terms of power scaling, it's always best to recognise that there is vertical power and horizontal power. The latter means that your power base is pretty wide, allowing for versatility and cunning moves while horizontal power means you can stomp over everything without putting much thought into it.

If you think of it in those terms, Sona is very much focused on vertical power... but if it was a contest of pure horizontal power she could still stomp Kallawarner into the dirt without putting all that much effort into it, really. So you can understand why she might be feeling pretty confident right now.

"You've got a lot of guts coming here to pick a fight, Miss Slutty Fallen Angels," Sona said, pushing up her glasses as she kicked in the door to this 'Brainwashing room'. "Now you must face the awesome might of Sparkling Council President Sona Sitri!"

“What?” The Fallen Angel asked, blinking in confusion at the rather outlandish introduction. “.. You.. you are the Sitri heiress, right?” She questioned, probably wondering if something got mixed up and she had gotten a particularly chuuni mundane..

Despite herself, Sona saluted cutely. Guh! This rush of feeling from acting like a magical girl! It was so embarrassing, and yet, it felt so good at the same time!

Kallawarner shrugged, then summoned a light spear to throw at the nuisance. Naturally, Sona had no trouble dodging something like that, and was able to rush in before Kallawarner could react.

"Sitri Sparkling Strike!"

Sona struck Kallawarner hard in the stomach, sending her flying back into the wall hard enough to leave a dent. Or, in terms of the relative power levels of both characters, not all that hard really. However, Sona quickly followed this up by summoning water to chain the Fallen Angel to the wall, and then spun around in place to give a salute.

"Slutty Fallen Angel number one: Captured!" Sona said. "Now for Slutty Fallen Angel number two!"

You can already see what I meant before. In terms of raw physical power these two didn't stand a chance. Sona could end this fight at literally a moment's notice. Unfortunately for her, she was fighting the compulsion to act like a magical girl. Which gave time for Ruruko to step in and grab her in a full nelson.

"Sorry, boss," Ruruko said in a far off, distant voice. "Can't let you do that."

"Ruruko! What are you -" Sona began to ask, then flipped her over with her vastly superior strength. Assisted by getting some water under her feet and using that for extra leverage. "Don't tell me... This is brainwashing equipment! But a Devil should be able to resist that sort of thing."

"Well.. A Fallen Angel shouldn't fall under a mortal's control just because he massaged her breasts," Kallawarner said, shooting Mittelt a knowing look. "These are strange times that we live in."

"Stranger still than you can imagine," a new voice added from the doorway. It was Raynare, with Momo and Reya standing on either side of her. "It's cliche, but... get her."

Both Momo and Reya were glassy eyed, and moved in with smiles on their faces as they attacked their own King. Both of her Bishops hung off to the side and threw energy blasts at her - and then Raynare stepped aside, letting Tomoe Meguri rush in with her sword drawn while Sona was blocking that.

"Hmph! Child's play," Sona said in the moment before her Knight struck. "I was wondering who else you'd grabbed."

Sona ducked, and Kallawarner was yanked hard out of the wall by her watery restraints, winding up not only taking the energy attacks but also colliding with Tomoe, knocking her to the ground. Sona sprung to her feet and adopted a cute pose.

"Spectacular Sitri Surprise," she said with her tongue a little out. This is what it means that the Fallen Angels were not in her league. She was too strong for them, and too smart for them as well. Unfortunately this was where Ruruko grabbed hold of her ankles, and Sona's luck started to change for the worse.

"Sorry boss," Ruruko repeated. "Gotta brainwash you now."

"Gotta brainwash..." Momo repeated.

"Pretty spirals," Reya slurred.

"Such pretty, pretty spirals," Tomoe added.

"Oh, come on. You fell for that old cliche?" Sona sniffed. "That doesn't even work on humans!"

"Ah, normally that would be true, but I think you'll find this technique is a little more... Exciting," Raynare cackled. Huh? What was that she was holding? Some sort of notebook? Sona didn't have the time to deal with it, Tomoe dove right in front of Raynare before she could do anything. "Let's see, I think we can pencil you in for... a good brainwashing right about nowish. What time is it anyway? Huh? Our next appointment is in thirty seconds? But.. wait a minute, that's -"

In all honesty, Sona's opinion of this situation had turned around quite a bit. She could keep them at bay, she could probably even wear them down and win. However... throw in the other oddities that were going on around here and she was rather less certain. How did they get an effective brainwashing machine into the school without her noticing? How did it even work on her student council?! Devils shouldn't be affected by that sort of thing! Especially if it was the 'pretty spirals' sort of brainwashing that <i>literally doesn't work on even weak minded humans.</i>

Which meant there was something else going on here. She'd been trying to push for it a little bit to work out what it was, but no dice. It was a variable she couldn't predict, a piece she couldn't factor into her calculations. That was making her a bit nervous. Especially since she was outnumbered, and didn't really want to hurt her own Peerage more than she had to...

"Hehehehe... I got sooooo many blowjobs..." a voice cackled distantly down the corridor. "Oh man, that was awesome. Best class ever!"

And then... Issei Hyoudou stepped into the room with the absolute, biggest shit eating grin you ever did see on his face. Nothing weird about that. Nothing weird about him at all, really. He rubbed his hands. Looked at Raynare. Looked at Kalawarner. They both very obviously thrust out their chests.

"Alright girls, I hear you're in need of a breast massage!" he said. "And I! Am just! The man! To do it!"


  1. What does it feel like to be breast massaged by someone with level 51+ of touching girls?
  2. Issei's old friend Irina receives a mysterious package...
  3. Asia winds up heading to Kuoh Academy in an attempt to meet the Fallen Angels.
  4. Rias and Akeno are dealing with the aftermath of the blowjob lesson.
  5. Something else

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