At heart Lum was a bit of a romantic. This might seem a little bit strange considering her general behaviour, typical attire, the fact that she was interested in marrying Ataru Moroboshi and - Let's stop there and get to the point. This alien babe was after something a little more grounded and real than she was used to out there in the wider galaxy, and believe it or not Ataru did give her what she was after.
Except for the part where he adamantly refused to show any kinds of affection for her unless she tricked him or the circumstances were severe enough where he pretty much had to.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to start this off by saying that at heart Lum <i>wanted</i> to be a romantic, but kept on missing the mark. That might explain this dream she'd set up for herself, a dream where she would be rescued by her Darling and swept off her feet. Taken to a cathedral to get married and then - she'd finally get her rocks off. That shouldn't really be too hard given how pretty she was and how pervy he was, but hey. Them's the breaks.
The dream went roughly like this. Lum was trapped in a tower. Normally she could fly or zap her way out, but this was a dream, flying away and dealing with the dragon keeping her prisoner personally would kind of defeat the purpose. So there was something in the castle keeping her from flying or throwing electricity. Problem solved.
After that bit of weirdness she was in a long flowing dress in her usual colours. Tiger striped, yellow and black. Lounging on a bed in a room at the top of the tower that was pink and garish. She hears the sound of commotion outside, and then something crashing into the door. After this the door crashes open - and Ataru stumbles in wearing plate mail nad moving like he was wearing a swimsuit. See, Lum didn't really fully appreciate how damned heavy that kind of armour was when programming the dream, but never mind that. What mattered more was what was happening next.
Her Darling would defeat the dragon and rescue her. He would speak romantically, talking about how the beauty of the Oni Princess surpassed even the rumors spread about her. Exactly the things that Ataru never did in reality. That's why it's a dream, you see.
"Ah, forgive my intrusion," Ataru said. "I did not mean to enter heaven. I had come to rescue a Princess, not an angel."
Lum rose from the bed. Her instincts made her try to fly, but all that caused was her stumbling forward, landing in his waiting arms. "Please sir knight, take me away from here!" She swooned, and then he picked her up, and carried her out of the room.
There was only one problem with this. It was true enough that he was holding her up. The problem was, well, his back was turned to her. If he was facing the other way then it would be fine, she'd be resting in his arms bridal style. As it was? It was more like she was stuck to his back.
A little bit off putting to say the very least. Regardless. They left the tower like that. Now, this was the part where they'd be confronted by the dragon, Ataru would quickly strike it down and they'd then ride off into the sunset, and then -
Lum frowned. Hold on. Hadn't they already gone through this part? That's the trouble with dreams, they're not built off any kind of coherence. They're more like random chains of thought strung together, and any narrative is invented by the waking mind after the fact. Then again this was a dream constructed by a dream berry, so maybe it worked differently? It must do, because Lum had a funny feeling that any moment now -
<b>"Who dares intrude in my castle?!"</b>
"Wasn't that my voice just now?" Lum asked. Then, sure enough, she appeared. Giant harem-girl Lum. Towering over them with electricity sparking all around her. "That doesn't seem right."
"Begone, beast!" Ataru yelled, drawing his sword with his left hand, though it started hovering where his right would be if he'd drawn it with that one instead. He threw the sword through the air and it struck true, plunging into the giant Lum's chest and felling the 'beast' in a single blow. "Now, let us away, my love! A beast like that may soon recover even from such a fatal blow!"
Before she knew what was happening they were atop a gleaming white horse. By which she meant a gleaming white kotatsu. That neighed. It also had kotatsu cat sitting at it to heat itself up. The truly surreal part was that the cat didn't kick up a fuss when they rode it off into the sunset.
"Oh, Darling!" Lum sighed, choosing to ignore the weirdness so that she could enjoy the dream. "Kiss me, Darling! Show me how much you love me."
"Of course my Princess," Ataru said. He turned back while still somehow riding the kotatsu. His face grew closer and closer, second by second. In the real world, Lum grew flush and smiled in anticipation. His lips touched hers -
And then she was back in the tower with an odd knocking sound at the door.
"Okay. I definitely have done this before," Lum said. "Is the dream looping?"
Yes. Yes it was. This time around Ataru burst the door down, and he actually was wearing swimwear. Not exactly a knightly attire, but what can you do? Lum certainly wasn't complaining.
“Come now [DEFAULT NAME] let us leave this tower to [SEXUAL EUPHEMISM]!” Ataru said, picking her up in a T-pose.
"I'm stealing some sugar now," Lum said, taking the chance to kiss him full on the lips. He responded, and it was pretty great, but he also didn't seem to have much in the way of difficulty carrying her down the tower even though his tongue was busily cleaning her tonsils. That was a little immersion breaking, but -
She was back in her bed, and her knight was fighting the beast outside. Again.
"Nnngh..." Lum grunted. She unconsciously ran her hands down her thighs - then realised that she was feeling smooth skin rather than a flowing dress. She was back in her bikini. Huh? Why had the dress -
No time to contemplate that as Ataru suddenly came in through the door, still clad in the same swimming trunks he'd been in the last time around.
"Fair Princess! I have come to rescue you from Virginity!"
That sounded awesome. Then Lum remembered that the dragon's name was Virginity for some reason... but it very much seemed as though she'd been correct the first time. He leaned down over her bed and pulled down her bikini bottoms, then planted a tender kiss on her stomach. He moved up her body, slipping off his own trunks while gently nudging her legs into a more comfortable position. She could feel it pressing against her leg. Hot, hardy and so very, very enticing. He moved his lips up to her neck, along her jawline and to her mouth. At the moment their lips touched, she felt the head of his penis pushing inside her -
And then she was alone in the room again.
There's little worse than getting your motor revved up, only for things to come to a screeching halt. Lum pounded the bedsheets in frustration. She had actually felt it that time, too! But before it could get good, the dream had reset! She didn't even notice the other glitches going on around her, like the texture of the walls looking like thousands of copies of Ataru's smiling face over and over again, or the fact that the furniture was a little clipped through the floor.
What she did notice was the sound of the door being opened, and this time she pounced like a tiger, tackling Ataru to the ground so she could get herself some before this whole thing reset yet again. Which was a good and sensible plan. Except for the fact that he was walking on his hands and had been upside down at the time.
"Ah, fair maiden! I see you are eager to -"
"Get laid," Lum interrupted. She tore his armour off like it was soft tissue paper, and her own bikini bottoms very quickly followed suit. Fortunately he seemed to get the idea and set to work using his tongue, quickly probing at her entrance, then experimentally licking and circling in an attempt to find her most sensitive spot -
Then right as he touched that the dream reset again
"Come the fuck on!" Lum yelled. Ugh! H-how many times had that happened now? Five times? Maybe more by now? No, it was probably more than that. "Emergency stop!" she called, while one hand slipped into her bikini bottoms. If she couldn't get off in the dream, she'd get off in reality and then try to figure out a fix to this mess!
Alas... it was not to be. The dream didn't end. The glitches had locked her out of the in built emergency stop, which rather goes to show how badly Lum had programmed the dream. Users weren't supposed to be able to do that. The door knocked but this time Lum didn't care all that much, she'd be content with masturbating through the next few loops to try and get herself off. Then she'd be able to concentrate enough on getting out of -
"Darling, I have come to rescue you!"
That wasn't Ataru coming in through the door. Lum couldn't believe it. He'd been replaced by - Lum herself! And not just any Lum, but herself wearing the harem outfit, stepping into the room b-bellydancing. Gyrating those hips and working her stomach muscles like - like she was turning some giant invisible lever that was stuck in her navel.
"Have no fear, Virginity will be conquered before too long," the other Lum said, dancing closer and closer. She flickered for a moment, being replaced by a musclebound Ataru flexing towards her. "Before the power of our mutual lust, it shall easily fall."
"Sh-Shut up and get over here before this whole thing resets again," Lum demanded. She'd been planning on masturbating anyway, so why the hell not go for it in a more roundabout way? The other her smiled an odd smile, licked her lips and then pounced for Lum's legs. One hand interlocked fingers with Lum's while the other picked up from where Lum had left off and - Oohhh boy, the other her sure did know what she liked!
Then. It. Reset. Again. This time Lum grabbed a pillow and screamed into it until she heard the door open. This time! This time she'd get off!
"Lum!" Rei's voice called. He then rushed into the room and picked up a tray full of sandwiches which he spend the entire time eating. While sitting there. Topless. In his humanoid form. Looking all handsome and sexy.
“I thought I cleared the cache of Rei dreams dammit!”
Alas, she had not yet realised it was not that easy to clear out your Rei dreams. Guy's thick as two short planks, but he's way too handsome to flush down the memory hole.
- Lum's glitchy dreams continue. Will she ever get off?
- Lum thinks she's woken up, goes for Ataru - then realises she is still dreaming.
- Come school the next day Lum is in a bad mood.
- Continue with another girl's dream.
- Something else
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