When you're into sports it's important to get into a good routine. Exercise means doing the same thing over and over until you get better and better at it, and a vital part of martial arts was keeping your body fit, lean and healthy.
As a side effect of this it could also make you extremely desirable to the opposite sex. Not something Akane had thought of as a positive trait, typically... But hey, there was a hot piece of ass living under their roof so she'd better get her seduction game face on!
This was new territory for her. Usually Akane didn't have to try too hard to get a boy's interest going. Call it 'primary romantic interest' syndrome. It's only natural that Ranma, being the main lead, would have to fend off various romantic rivals after Akane's not-quite-as-nice-as-Ranma's-but-still-honestly-very-high-quality ass.
"Listen man, I know you kind of like me and think I'm hot, but that's getting pretty creepy," Akane said to seemingly nobody in particular. Just for that, her perfectly ordinary pair of shorts suddenly became snug and sexy hotpants for <i>no discernible reason.</i> "Ugh! I hate author fiat!"
Careful girl or you'll be doing squats out there in the middle of the street. And it might just rain on top of that.
"Well, anyway. I need to figure out a way to get Ranma's underwear hanging from my bedpost," Akane muttered to herself. Oh yeah, that was a much better line of thought for her to rest on. Either form would be good, but the cursed form would be sublime. Actually throwing herself at him didn't work, as her sisters were adequately proving. So, she needed him to come to her. Then cum to her. Many, many times over.
The tsundere approach did seem like a pretty good idea. Pretend like she didn't want it while dressing all skimpy and use that to get him interested. Let him make the first move and they rock each other's world. It seemed like a decent idea. Except for one small problem.
Ranma Saotome was one dense motherfucker. It felt like, if she gave him a lapdance while wearing nothing more than a thin layer of cooking oil, he'd still not quite get that she wanted to fuck. Relying on him to make the first move - nuh uh. That seemed like a no go. Honestly the wet t-shirt contest last night was a bit of desperation on her part.
But now Ranma's mother was here. Ooooh, boy. Akane was getting flush just thinking about her. For one thing: A motherly figure that wasn't also romantic competition was really great right about now. For another, <i>wow</i> she was pretty and refined and you could easily see where Ranma got his/her looks from. It almost made her want to drag the older woman off to China, dunk her in the spring and see what came out.
Actually if she did go to Jusenkyo she'd be gargling Spring of Drowned Hot Piece of Ass water for herself and going to town on the younger Saotome anyway.
That was beside the point. What really mattered was this: Nodoka provided her with an easier way in. All she had to do was make it clear that she was the best suited to marry Ranma. They had the most interests in common, they were the same age, they looked soooo adorable together...
So, her plan for today was set. First she'd 'spar' with Ranma and 'accidentally' get in several gropes or position herself to be groped. Then 'accidentally' walk in on him in the bath. Without a towel. Then the two of them would head off to school together, and she would drop all these cute innuendos she'd thought up last night to try and subliminally implant the idea of sex with her. All in all it was a good plan. And honestly, it was a good thing that she was stuck wearing these booty shorts now! Maybe pissing off the author wasn't such a bad idea when he was already rooting for you!
Yeah don't count on that.
"I'm back!" Akane called out. She quickly sprinted by the dining area, quickly checking to see if Ranma was already up. He was. And in hot piece of ass form no less! Hooray!
There was also a pretty, naked girl with light blue hair sitting in Ranma's lap and feeding her food. Not hooray!
“Nihao other, less sexy lady.” The girl said, her hair somehow covering her breasts to keep her modest, for now. This seemed likely to change at a moment's notice.
“Why. Are. You. In. My. Fiance’s. Lap.”
“First off, she Shampoo’s Future Wife. Second, Shampoo in her lap because it comfy.”
Akane's angry glare flickered up to Ranma's sexy, sexy face. She looked a bit scared actually. But, you know. Also really pretty at the same time. Then she turned to look at Nabiki and Kasumi, who were... sitting at the table eating their breakfast.
"Something wrong, sis?" Nabiki asked. Akane pointed at Shampoo. With both index fingers. "Oh yeah, they're super cute together aren't they?"
“There’s something about the aesthetic, the red and blue hair colors is an appealing combination.” Kasumi said.
Seriously? Seriously?! "Did you Xiang Fang whatsit them?" Akane asked.
"No, that wrong thread," Shampoo said. "This much lighter hearted story, no use brainwashing trick this time."
"Oh, Akane! I'm glad you're back," Nodoka said. Thank goodness! Here comes some regular old common sense carrying a delicious tray of food. "Please sit down for breakfast."
"Mrs Saotome! Can't you do something about this?" Akane asked. It was only then that she noticed an important - nay, crucial detail. A detail called the 'naked apron'.
This led to several thoughts passing by Akane's mind. Firstly, <b>damn</b> she takes care of herself. Secondly, how did Genma ever score that? Thirdly, stop staring. Fourth, no really stop staring. Fifth, try staring at Ranma instead - there we go, that's much better.
"Why are you wearing that?" Akane asked.
"An apron is important to keep stains off while you cook," Nodoka said. Then she hung her apron up and sat down next to Ranma. Right in the empty space Akane had been planning to take herself.
Akane’s face turned oddly gray. “Ah. I see. So this is how I’m going to be treated. Cockblocked by my best friend, and now by my family, and even a mother figure I sorely need due to my backstory of my own mother dying.” She turned around, “Excuse me, I need to wash my face.” She walked out of the living room.
A moment later a wordless scream filled the air.
“I don’t get what she’s complaining about. I got cockblocked too, you don’t see me being a baby.” Nabiki said.
"No, you just spent two hours masturbating using Ranma's pillow as an aide," Kasumi said like it was no big thing. Judging by the reaction from everyone at the table it obviously wa-
"I'm sorry what?" Ranma said. Oh, never mind. "Is that why it smelled funny last night?"
<hr>
School was a refuge. School was where things were normal. School was where she could let out her stress through means others than perverse sexual lust or breaking things. That being said, Akane was on the verge of breaking quite a lot of things at this rate? Why?
"Ranma Saotome?" the teacher said.
"Present!" Ranma said, raising his arm with a bit of difficulty due to the blue haired girl snuggled into him. The same (still naked) blue haired girl from this morning, who had identified herself as Shampoo. Arriving early. Like Nodoka.
"I swear to God if Kiema shows up and dunks me in the spring, then fucks Ranma in my body, I will flip all of my shit..." Akane wrote in the margins of her textbook.
It was clearly “Ignore the Fourth Wall Day” for the rest of the class because nobody took Akane’s mutterings to any heart. Of course, it was also “Ignore the <b>Whore</b> Day” by Akane’s estimation because nobody, not even the perverted boys, noticed Shampoo clinging to Ranma.
A note was passed to her mid-class by Sayuri. It read "Akane, you are the best friend a girl could ask for," and featured a drawing of both Shampoo and cursed form Ranma snuggling, naked. To Akane's eternal frustration it was the cutest fucking thing she'd ever seen in her life.
A feather blew into the room and landed on Akane's head right at that very moment.
"Fuck off Kiema!" Akane yelled, hefting her desk over her head and making ready to throw it at the - at the pigeon that had landed on the windowsill.
"Akane Tendo, buckets outside."
"Man, what's with her today..." Ranma pondered.
"Must be stress," Shampoo whispered back. "Not healthy. Must eliminate cause of stress. Smash it to pulp and then throw in wood chipper."
Yeah. School didn't quite feel like a sanctuary of normalcy anymore.
<hr>
Not that home was any better. So much for her plan to 'spar' with Ranma! With that girl hanging off him the entire damned day, it was impossible for her to get a word in edgeways!
"Oh, Ranma dear! Did you have a nice day at school?" Nodoka asked, waiting at the front gates to the home while wearing a frilly, sexy french maid outfit. She curtseyed, and dusted down her exposed neckline. "Is there anything mother can do to make you feel better?"
"No thanks ,uh, mother," Ranma said, idly walking in as if completely oblivious to the girl holding onto him and the outfit his mother was wearing. "Just gonna head up to my room."
"I'd better not catch you fooling around with your new mistress," Nodoka coyishly said. "DOn't do anything naughty or I'll have to... punish you."
"Well, I mean... this is a porn thread..." Ranma mumbled.
And the line was crossed. Akane could stand what she could stand, but she couldn't stand no more. Her hand snaked out like an assassin's knife and grabbed hold of his pigtail, jerking him back so he was looking at her furious face upside down.
"You motherfucker," she hissed.
"No, no!" Ranma insisted. "Uh, Shampoo interrupted before we did anything! I swear!"
Akane's eyes darted between them. Ranma. His mother. Ranma again. His mother again. She blinked very quickly, trying and failing to dispel the image. The impossibly erotic image. Of Ranma Saotome in cursed form. Scissoring. With her goddamned mother. It was forbidden. It was illicit. It was... Nnnrgh, yes please.
"I'll be in my room don't disturb me for the rest of the night..." Akane muttered to herself. And then, it was said that all through the Tendo compound, a faint buzzing sound could be heard no matter what room in the house you were in.
- Later that night Shampoo pays Akane a visit, feeling that they should just get this over with already because we all know they're gonna bang.
- Meanwhile, Nabiki's not given up. She has a plan that is bound to get her some! From Ranma this time.
- Kiema arrives early just to fuck with everybody.
- Kasumi and Nodoka become close friends, very quickly. A little... too close.
- Genma and Soun get drunk to forget that their children have become the leaders of a den of sin.
- Something else
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