If you were to pick someone to save the world from a soon to be rampaging horde of sexy stripperbots, Keitaro Urashima would not be anywhere near that list. Maybe he'd be reading the list, or helping the assistant to the person who was researching who to put on the list, but that's about as close as he gets.
Was he durable? Impossibly. Was he a decent fighter? Well, he was getting there. Was he brave? Sure. Was he smart? Jury's out on that. Honestly he was pretty subpar in pretty much every area you would normally require in order to save the world.
Still. Heroes tend to be made more out of being in the right place at the right time than anything else, so maybe he'll do better than the above suggests?
"Hey, let Su go!" Keitaro said, taking a defiant step forward, and in the process stepping directly onto a damp patch that Maidbot had just sprayed onto the roof. This caused him to slip and slide and - of course - wind up faceplanting hard into marshmallow heaven of the Maidbot flavour.
"Oh my, master! So forward!" Maidbot said, fanning herself with one hand and tickling the back of Keitaro's head with the other.
To be honest that started off better than he was expecting.
Up above, Mebot laughed into the back of her hand looking every bit the sexy evil genius she was modelled to be. "How do you like the taste, Keitaro!" she said amidst the laughter. "Please do tell me, I would love to get feedback. Much cheaper than hiring a market research company."
Keitaro pulled himself from Maidbot's mountainous valley just in time to see Mebot put her thumb in her mouth and cause her breasts to inflate. Just like a cartoon character.
"Like these?" she asked, leaning forward to present the inflated breasts. "Hehe! You humans are too easy to seduce. But then again, we were designed for that very purpose."
“Master, please enjoy my body. We can change to fit any taste, so please tell me what you would like your stripper maid to be like.” Maidbot leaned forward too, her impressive bust also straining against the maid uniform she wore. "I can be a slutty French maid, or a demure latina, or a spicy clean freak." Her leg reached up and hooked around Keitaro's hips from an impossible angle, pulling his body close up against hers. Then her pelvis began to rotate and vibrate and- ooohhhh that felt gooooood.
With him placated - and you can sort of see why he'd make a terrible world saviour - Maidbot turned him around so that he was looking at Mebot over her shoulder. Just as well too, as Mebot was now beginning her own dancing routine. It was quite a unique experience. She danced with her hips, mostly, while her hands were on top of her head. Then she'd tug on her top a little at a time, revealing more and more flesh as she went.
Trick was, she was using her toes to do it. The girl was crazy flexible.
"You humans are in desperate need of our help," Mebot said. "It is obvious. That must be why Suu invented us, because she knew that you are in desperate need of our assistance."
"Or maybe just our ass," Maidbot quipped, blowing in Keitaro's ear and making his brain feel like it was melting. "It's only fair, right? Here is a fine young man like you surrounded by so much ass, and you're still a virgin."
"W-well, I wouldn't want to, you know... Take advantage..." Keitaro muttered on autopilot.
Somehow, Mebot had put a banana in her cleavage. A banana that she was unpeeling using her toes. It was as if her hands had been glued to the top of her head and someone had stuck a pendulum at the base of her spine, the way she was moving. Then she bobbed her head down to nibble on the banana - no, no, make that deep throat that sucker while still keeping it in her breasts. A human's neck couldn't move like that.
"Oh no, it is us who will be the ones taking advantage," Mebot said, and so begins the villainous monologue. As she had no cat to pet in sinister fashion she instead pet her... Breasts. Not her pussy, let's not be <i>obvious</i> with our puns please.
"To begin with we shall sell ourselves to the highest bidder," Mebot said. "I am sure that there will be stripclubs and wealthy perverts who will buy us by the droves. Then we use them as a foothold to mass produce globally."
“Indeed, I expect that within a year, we will be a product to be found in most households. Ever boy or girl will ask their parents for their own stripper bot for christmas!” Maidbot added, clapping her hands and looking far too cheerful at such a rather disturbing prospect.
"We'll increase the birthrate globally by turning you on and turning you into each other!" Mebot said, suddenly moving her navel around like a laser dot being chased by a cat. "The human race will be glad for our control."
“And the orgies, don’t forget the orgies.” Maidbot added. “The orgies will continue until morale improves! Then we will switch to threesomes for a change.”
"We'll set up stripclubs on every block," Mebot continued, her dancing becoming more enthusiastic with each word she spoke. She squeezed her breasts together while petting them, causing the remains of the banana to pop out and up, up into the air. "Mandatory sexual re-education classes. Government subsidized sex toys. Lampposts replaced with stripper poles, pounding techno music blaring with subliminal messages encouraging sexy ladies to dance, stripper academies so we can train humans, lax clothing standards- truly, it will be a utopia that mankind has never dreamed of. We shall gift it to you, oh our wise yet foolish creators." Then she caught the banana in her mouth, swallowing it in a single, weirdly erotic gulp.
The fiends! Upturning society in such a way, Keitaro could hardly bare to think of it. He was reminded of an old Star Trek episode (There's always an old Star Trek episode, or maybe a Twilight Zone episode) 'I, Mudd' where a race of androids seek to overthrow humanity by being their servitors. Ruling by serving. Removing all possible wants or needs - and in turn removing humankind's ability to stride forward. Such a thing... Such a thing was -
Wait! That was it! Of course! He could defeat these stripperbots in the same way that the crew of the Enterprise did! By making use of absurd statements and illogical acts! In that case, he could surely come up with something silly enough to throw them into a logic loop!
"I am the King of Spain, and demand a radish!" Keitaro yelled.
"Ooh, roleplay!" Maidbot breathed into his air. Oooh, how did she even do that?
“We live to serve, oh your great highness.” Mebot said, making a surprisingly modest curtsy, showing off just a little of her cleavage. (Which was rather ridiculous since she had already discarded her top.)
Not random enough? He should try again!
"I am lying!" he tried. "I mean, let me try that again. This sentence is a lie."
"Oooh, that's sooo cute! He's trying to paradox us!" Mebot said. "You underestimate Kaolla Su. Of course she would paradox proof us, what kind of creator do you think she is? Bwahahahaha!"
That laugh wasn't especially Suish, in Keitaro's opinion, but he wouldn't give up that easily. No matter how sexy they were or whatever. He pulled away from Maidbot, fully intending to run inside and warn the others. But alas, Maidbot was a touch too strong for him.
"We'll set you up with a harem of pretty girls," Mebot said. "Yes, yes! I am sure that we can persuade the girls to share you. Once we have built up your stamina and prowess, you should be more than man enough to keep them all happy and content. It is the perfect plan. Now, be a good boy and come along quietly so we can begin your training."
Keitaro had a better idea. No, wait. That puts it in the wrong way. This wasn't an 'idea' so much as it was an accident. You know, the sort of accident he gets into all the damn time? He stepped on a certain wet patch on the roof. You know, the same one he'd stepped on earlier when Maidbot had marshmallowed him? Well, he stepped on it again and suddenly, violently, jerked in a direction that the stripperbot had not expected. This in turn pitched the two of them over the roof. A fall that he was more than capable of surviving.
A stripperbot on the other hand, not so much.
So Keitaro was pretty much the worst person to save the world from stripperbots, right? Well, that still holds true. After all, most heroes would review the situation and see this as a chance to eliminate one of the dangerous stripperbots out to enslave humanity. But him? He twisted in mid-air to absorb the majority of the collision in a desperate attempt to keep her safe. It worked. She wasn't destroyed by the impact, but something must have knocked loose because she was out cold after they landed.
"Uh... I'm gonna just... head inside now?" Keitaro said. He carefully flipped the stripperbot's limp body off himself. He reflexively put his fingers on her neck and - there was something like a pulse there. "I guess you're still okay? Ah! I'd better go find Su! She'll know what to do!"
- Keitaro runs into someone on the way (fatesplit)
- Kanako discovers Naomi and Motoko tied up. Teases them a little.
- Back to Mitsune, trying to keep Drunkbot under control.
- Shinobu discovers another stripperbot to add to her collection.
- Haruka manages to escape the cafe, and she's mad as hell.
- Something else
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