Story: Genma the MILF

 
What the hell was that? Akane went through her kata with righteous fury and frustration, hard  enough to cause the air to crack like a whip on every kick and punch. That boy. That girl. This engagement! She had a really horrible feeling that it was going to land on her. A mess for her to deal with, because of course it would that was the direction her life had been going in up until now!

"Not bad," an unwelcome voice said by the doorway. And then there was this. Ranma's mother. Not that you could tell. She was like a model in a dirty gi, somehow the clothes made her seem even more appealing than - for example - a cute flowery dress would. "You show some promise, though I can already tell you're holding back from your full potential."

Akane scowled at her, but felt something odd. It had been years since her father had given her any martial arts advice. It had felt like she'd hit a glass ceiling. Couldn't improve at all, no matter what she did, and nobody around was interested in helping her push through.

This woman might, though...

"I can sense your frustration from a mile back," Mrs Saotome said. "Let me guess. A pretty thing like you, tough as steel and just as stubborn... You have boys crawling out of the woodwork trying to get a piece of you. I bet that some of them even think they can impress you by showing off how strong they are, right?"

"Every day I beat up a bunch of our school's top athletes because they try to force me to date them," Akane said. Mrs Saotome seemed to find something amusing in that, which got her right back in Akane's bad books.

"Sorry, sorry. It reminds me of a village we visited in China," she explained. "Ah, when Ranma found out he gave them such an earful. Though really, what kind of law is that? You have to marry an outsider of the opposite sex that beats you in battle? How archaic. Don't you think?"

What was this woman after? Was she going to push Akane into accepting this engagement? If that was the case-  even being offered training wouldn't be enough for that.

Except, she had underestimated Genma Saotome. This woman wasn't just a talented martial artist, nor just a pretty face. She was also... a con artist of the highest calibre. Okay, okay, that's overselling her a bit. Mid-tier calibre. Like, maybe a high B rank at best. She was still a bit better than Akane was used to, let's say that much.

"It sounds like a pain in the neck," Genma tsked. "Having to fight off all those boys every day."

"I don't mind," Akane sniffed. "It's good practise."

"Is it, though?" Genma asked. "If you can take on that many, and beat them that reliably, they can't be nearly good enough for you to take on. You need a better sparring partner if you want to improve."

"Like Ranma?" Akane sarcastically asked.

"Well, yes. I suppose Ranma would help now that you mention it," Genma mused. Instantly pouncing on her sarcasm to make it sound as if it was her idea, rather than his. "Actually, there's a thought. Ranma could help out in another way too, but - Nah, never mind. Forget it, that's a silly idea."

Now, her interest and curiosity was peaked. "What's a silly idea?"

"Well, if you had a fiance, they'd have tgo back off, right?" Genma suggested. "Especially a fiance that will completely steamroll them without them getting a look in. Because trust me. A bunch of generic athletes vs my Ranma is a one sided stomp. He wouldn't even break a sweat."

She was exaggerating. The way that parents tend to. Akane gave her a look of genuine disbelief, but Mrs Saotome simply shrugged and said "Spar with him. Give him a chance. I think you might be surprised."

Spar with him, huh? Fine then. Let's see how strong this mister wannabe-feminist-who-turned-into-a-girl actually was. She'd expose him, and his true nature, as the pervert he truly was.

<hr>

There is something a little strange in catching up with a friend that you have not seen in years. Especially a friend of the opposite sex. Soun was actually feeling quite nervous. Saotome had not lost a bit of what she had in youth, a natural beauty with an athletic body that anyone would envy. A mature yet open aura, as she sat down opposite him at the table.

"Ah, what a fine place you have here Soun!" she chuckled, reaching across to slap his shoulder. "A fine home, a trio of beautiful young girls, you really are lucky. I suppose that means my Ranma will be too, won't he!"

"Yes, quite so," Soun coughed nervously. "Your Ranma seems quite taken with Akane. I only wish the reverse was true. It would make things much simpler, don't you think?"

But to his surprise, Genma waved it off. "My Ranma's a good boy. Used to be a bit of a tsundere, until I worked that out of him. Nothing manly about keeping your emotions bottled up and denying them, in spite of what <i>some</i> idiots claim. But never mind that for now, Soun! How have you been?"

Lonely. In a word, lonely. He missed his wife more than words could express. Every day his daughters - each of them - did something that reminded him of her. Kasumi's cooking. Nabiki's dry wit. Akane's smile. Each of them held aspects of her that would haunt him for the rest of his life. As much as he loved his daughters, cherished them like the treasures they were... he wanted his wife back so dearly that it honestly hurt.

"I've been fine," he said, and that's when Genma hit him.

"What did I just say?" Genma yelled, pulling him into a headlock. "Look at you, I bet you've not even been practising more than the bare minimum! What happened to the young man who worked his balls off trying to impress pure, sweet Kimiko? He would've escaped this headlock already and deadlifted me to the floor by now!"

Yes, but that Soun wouldn't have gone a decade without getting laid, and wouldn't have been inexplicably turned on by the proximity of his closest friend's blazing hot bod. Ugh! Her smell, the feel of the warmth of her body... It was ridiculous, as though the years had only added to her appeal instead of taking away from them! How was that fair? How was that right? He was honestly afraid to try to touch her right now in case he grabbed somewhere inappropriate!

Genma suddenly released him and scoffed, leaving Soun staring at ass while she strolled away.

"I know what you need," Genma said, flopping down onto the ground. "You need to get laid. Stat. You're obviously too pent up. Way too stressed, too high strung - you've been taking care of these girls ever since your wife died, and I doubt you've even loooked at another woman since. Would that be about the size of it?"

"Y-Yes, I suppose so," Soun admitted. And then Genma tossed a book from the nearby shelf at his head.

"Hrmph! Used to be you'd wear your emotions on your sleeve!" Genma yelled, rising to her feet, and giving Soun an extremely powerful internal urge to beg for her to step on him. "Actually, I bet you bawled your eyes out when you read the postcard, right? You've been looking forward to this for ages, huh? Yet you can't even admit when you're lonely! I know wha tyou need, and I'm going to give it to you!"

Soun's mouth fell dry. What was she saying? It was so strange, he had somehow managed to remain oblivious to his friend's hotness for so long, that now it was staring him in the face he really, really wanted to tap that. Tap it hard, like the fist of an angry god.

"I'm going to find you a brand new wife!" she nodded resolutely, causing Soun to fall over. "Huh? What? You didn't expect me to hook up with you, did you?"

"Sort of, yes!" Soun yelled back. Genma, though, she laughed her fool head off. "What's so funny?"

"Trust me pal, the second I cheated Nodoka would use her sword to chop your pecker off!" Genma snorted. "Besides, you couldn't possibly satisfy me the way that her futa dick does! Hahaha!"

Ah, well that made sense, Genma was still happily married... Wait a minute. What was that last part? A futua dick? She's married a woman who had a penis? Soun's eyes crossed. All of a sudden Ranma made so much more sense.

<hr>

If Akane was frustrated before, then she was apoplectic now. The second the spar had begun, Ranma had ducked and dodged and weaved around her without so much as raising a fist or making a kick or doing anything like an attack. Yet she still couldn't hit the jerk.

Right now she was breathing heavily while he was standing there cool as a cucumber. Staring at her. Probably thinking something dirty. Perverted. Sexy and nasty and hot.

"Come on, why aren't you attacking?" she asked between ragged breaths.

Ranma tilted his head. His annoyingly handsome stupid head. "Momma asked me to assess your abilities," he said. "If you're worried that I'm holding back so that I don't strike a woman, don't worry, I have no problem with striking a female adversary so long as they have martial arts skill."

"Are you implying I don't have martial arts skill?" Akane asked, rushing forward for a big punch. At which point Ranma sort of blurred, jumped over her head, got behind her and had her in a rear naked choke before she knew what was happening.

"No, I was analysing your ability," Ranma said, squeezing tightly around her neck. Not tightly enough to make her pass out, but enough to make the point. "You have a lot of untapped potential. I mean, holy shit, you could be <i>amazing</i> if you trained properly."

She struggled a bit, but the hold was too tight. In fact, it as pretty much perfect. She couldn't escape from this even if she was a ltitle bit stronger than him, which it was pretty clear she was not. This is where she sould tap out. She had lost. She had lost completely and thoroughly, so she should tap and he'd release the hold.

Except for the little voice in her head whispering 'don't' for some reason. She didn't understand why it was whispering that. So she didn't.

"What do you mean?" Akane asked.

"I mean... Your body and your mind are sorta out of synch," Ranma said. "I can see it in the way you move. You've got the strength, you're pretty fast, and you could follow my movements fine. But there's a disconnect. Probably some kinda psychological issues, but I'm not trained in psychology so... grossly inappropriate for me to comment further in that area."

He let go, and Akane felt... disappointed? What? Where did that come from?

"I accept that you aren't interested in the engagement for the time being," Ranma said, walking off towards the entrance with his hands behind his head. "However, if you want me to help you spar then I'm up for that."

Then he turned back and smiled down at her. It felt like light was shining all around him. Maybe it was the way the sun hit the wall opposite or something, but he was truly dazzling in that moment.

"But remember, I like tough chicks like you the most," he said. Oh no. Oh no, he's hot. "It goes against the grain of societal expectations, where women have to be weak and subservient to the big strong man. Gimme a pretty girl who can kick some butt any day, I want an equal not a servent."

And... that sort of ruined it. "Uh, I get that you're all for gender equality, but..." Akane thought about how best to phrase this. Not easy. It was delicate. "Could you please be less obnoxiously in your face about it? That sort of thing is really off putting, and kinda preachy."

"For my fiance slash sparring partner slash future dojo partner?" Ranma said, giving her a thumbs up. "Anything!"

Akane dearly wished she had something to throw at him right then. But alas, she did not. As it was, after he'd left her alone she'd have to settle for slapping herself across the face to keep herself sane.

"Don't objectify the weird feminist boy that turns into a really, really cute girl," Akane said to herself. Then a beat later... "Oh god, am I bi? Ugh! He's getting into my brain! Get out, get out, get out!"