In this world, there is one power that reigns above all others. Not something ridiculous like superstrength, or some kind of psychic ability. Martial arts training? Hah! These things quake in fear before the power of cold, hard cash.
Yes, money. Capital. It can buy you things that you might think cannot be bought. Time, for example. What's that, you don't think it can buy time? It's not too hard. If you have a task that would normally take you a while to complete when you would rather do something else, you pay someone else to do it. You can pay someone to shop for you, cook for you, clean for you - and in the process you have 'bought time'.
A family like the Mendos knew this power well. Those who hold so much wealth as they tend to comprehend the power of money well. They use it strategically, investing it in places that will provide them benefit. Usually grinding underfoot those who would oppose them.
This was the foe that these four young women faced. Shampoo, warrior of the Joketsuzoku. Ukyo Kuonji, master Okonomiyaki chef. Konatsu, genius kunoichi (who was assigned male at birth, but identified as a girl) and Ryuunosuke Fujinami, a perfectly ordinary girl whose mannerisms and general appearance made her give off an extremely boyish impression because of her asshole father.
Honestly, in this company Ryuunosuke was starting to feel kinda... out of place. She could throw down if someone started some shit, but her martial arts training (if you could call it that) was more like brawling than anything refined. To put it simply, she knew just enough to tell that these three chicks were lethal in a fight.
"Does Konatsu think she can kill stupid rich boy?" Shampoo asked.
Ah, Shampoo. Ryuunosuke had been watching her since she'd burst in through the wall. Tried to be discreet about it, 'course. At first glance the vibe she gave off was 'girly'. Super girly. Super feminine. Look at her, that cute face, showing off that body in that tight dress. Ryuunosuke was always on the lookout for girly girls, the girlier the better. Frankly, neither Ukyo or Konatsu felt quite right for the bill. They were both plenty feminine, but they verged too far on the 'boyish' side, or maybe their femininity was too... what's the word... specialised? For her to use it as a learning tool.
Shampoo though. She was perfect. The ideal feminine example. Her own age group, obviously tough, yet still kept her girlishness about her...? She hung back to let the others speak, watching Shampoo and trying to mimic the way she moved. Maybe not the way she spoke since she don't speak Japanese too good, but everything else... yeah, she could build off this.
That plan lasted about five seconds before Shampoo flicked Ryuunosuke's forehead hard enough to make her stumble back. "No stare at girl like that, it rude," Shampoo admonished. "Only Airen is allowed to look at Shampoo that way."
Busted! Ryuunosuke grumbled darkly and tried not to stare at the ideal feminine role model in front of her. Bah!
"If I may trouble you all with a plan?" Konatsu asked, humble as ever. "If I seduce this Mendo person, and then give him a slow acting poison -"
"His businesses will still crush us, as he won't have told them to stop," Ukyo interrupted. "Not a bad plan though, this guy's probably miffed at Ranma over some chick falling for him. Probably Akane."
"Hrmph!" Shampoo turned up her nose. "What does Akane have that we don't? Shampoo only has stupid Mousse, while spatula girl has dumb Tsubasa, Akane have new boy fall for her every other week."
"In that case, Mistress, an amendment to my plan," Konatsu said. "I will get him to back off first - and then administer the slow acting poison!"
"We can do without the slow acting poison bit..." Ryuunosuke grumbled.
"Yes, and there's another problem that you two probably don't know about," Ukyo coughed. "That problem being that you have a penis."
Ah yes, of course. That would be quite the flaw. While Konatsu was extremely feminine and pretty, demure, and an ideal all around woman the fact that she actually had a penis would be a tremendous obstacle to -
"You're a boy?!" Ryuunosuke yelled in disbelief. "No way! No way! How is a boy more girly than me?!"
“I didn’t say <b>that</b>” Ukyo said, but Ryuunosuke was too busy being shocked to hear. "Konatsu's situation is complicated, okay? Anyway, we can't smash them for another reason. They have so much money that by the time we were done they'd finish rebuilding. They could wait us out, and then call the police on us."
"The who?" Shampoo asked. "Oh, you mean those funny men in blue suits who chase Shampoo sometimes? Great grandmother say not to worry about them."
“Ah yes Lady Ukyo, police are just cute little speedbumps.” Konatsu said. "Although, if this Mendo is as rich as Miss Shampoo says then he can almost certainly afford decent martial artists to work for him."
Silence fell within Uchans, as their available course of actions dwindled to apparently nothing. The air hung heavy, brows creased, concentration levels rose to the highest point any of them could manage. Eventually though, Ukyo broke the silence.
"Zany scheme?" she reluctantly offered, and the others all nodded in agreement. A zany scheme. It always came down to a zany scheme. Every. Single. Time.
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It was quite frustrating. The one and only pest in his life he could not swat like a bug was his own little sister, cute as a button though she might be. Her power, influence and wealth were equal to his own, and perhaps her intelligence as well. The number of people he could say that about were, frankly, none bar her. Even his rival Tobimaru was a complete buffoon, and Ataru Moroboshi - well, he <i>could</i> swat Moroboshi easily enough but that boy was honestly better at ruining his own happiness than Shutaro Mendo could ever be. There was no need to waste effort on that runt.
"As you can see, dear sister, my operations are all well established," Shutaro said triumphantly, gesturing to his new restaurants with pride. "I had initially thought it would be more demeaning if they lots out to mediocre restaurants, but of course my pride as a Mendo would not permit such a tactic. If it is to be associated with us, it must be the top of the line, with the best chefs that money can buy."
Ryoko rolled her eyes, obviously enough that he was clearly intended to see it. Fine. Her enjoyment on the matter was secondary to his own. She had insisted on seeing his revenge up close, no doubt because she had designs of her own. The sort of design that he'd rather not know anything about, thank you very much.
"Pardon me, sir!" a feminine voice drifted across the street. He turned to look and beheld a beautiful slender elegant woman rushing towards him. "I appear to be lost, sir. Could you please escort this humble, innocent kun- Woman to her destination?"
"Hrmp, men are so easily manipulated," Ryoko rolled her eyes again. Shutaro scowled at his little sister for her insolence, obviously this pretty young thing needed the utmost -
"You two, take her wherever she needs to go," Shutaro commanded two of his many bodyguards. After a moment's confusion he realised what he'd just said. "Hold on, why did I..."
"Alright miss, where did you want to go?" a bodyguard asked. They stood on either side of her, the hulking brutes, guaranteeing her safety and security, in the name of the Mendo family.
How strange, usually with such a pretty face he would have been quite eager to get to know her better. And yet ,he felt absolutely no such compulsion this time around. Peculiar, truly bizarre, he wondered why that -
"Stupid Konatsu, not genius at all!" an accented voice called out, perking up his attention. He sped walk towards its source and found a truly heavenly delight at the other end. A gorgeous, curvaceous delight wrapped up in a snug fitting waitress uniform.
"Ah, madame, welcome to Mendos," he said, giving her a deep bow. "Are you here, perhaps, to enquire for a job as a waitress? Then let us make haste!"
"Shampoo agree!"
Shampoo? Wasn't that the name of one of the women smitten with that Saotome scoundrel? Oh, how interesting where had she been hiding that giant mace?
"Please forgive my idiot brother,"Ryoko said to Shampoo. "He's an irascible horndog. Though most women do seem to fall for it. I'm assuming it's the money."
"Shampoo not care about money!" Shampoo huffed. Both Mendos - one upright, and the other half embedded into the pavement - stared at her blankly. "Shampoo here to issue challenge!"
"Oh, how interesting!" said a boy who, for some reason, Shutaro was feeling an intense urge to get to know better. He was leaning against a nearby wall taking notes while watching Shampoo quite intensely - and yet for some reason Shutaro felt no envy that he was interested in Shampoo. "So if a guy gets fresh, it's womanly to beat his head in with a blunt object... knock him into the pavement in a display of overwhelming femininity!"
Enter another really cute girl, this one with long hair in a ponytail, a snug pair of trousers and - Ah, an okonomiyaki chef's clothes. The spatula was especially a giveaway. This must be Ukyo Kuonji.
Seeing these girls in the flesh was really driving it home. That Ranma Saotome did not deserve having such delectable beauties in his life, never mind vying for his attention! Hrmph! Shutaro was more determined than ever to crush them - Oh dear, that Shampoo girl had brought out another mace.
"No look at spatula girl like that when we issue challenge, pervert!" Shampoo huffed.
"If the guy stares too long at a girls' legs, it's a womanly thing to bury him in the street up to his neck," the strangely attractive boy nodded, scribbling yet more notes.
"Challenge? What challenge might this be?" Ryoko asked on Shutaro's behalf. For some reason he was having trouble forming words properly. "For you to challenge a Mendo in any matter is lunacy. Why should we accept your challenge?"
Then, out of nowhere, the inexplicably unappealing yet extremely cute girl leaped in with two unconscious bodyguards, dumping them on either side of Shutaro's head.
"I'm terribly sorry that I lost your bodyguards their job," the extremely pretty and yet unappealing girl said, bowing deeply to him. To the point that even Shutaro kind of thought she was bowing too deeply. "Sir, I could not help but overhear! Oh, but if you'd won a challenge against these two fair maidens then perhaps - just perhaps - they might have dated you!"
"As if my brother is so utterly moronic as to accept a wager like that," Ryoko said. Though do note, dear reader, that she was counting down on her fingers, and when she got to one her dorky brother let out a stupid sounding laugh.
"A challenge by two fair maidens? How can I refuse? Your chefs versus ours, winner takes all! When I win, you date me! If the impossible happens and I lose, we leave you alone! Hahahaha! Truly, a wager where everyone comes out ahead!"
"... He almost as bad as stick boy," Shampoo muttered darkly under her breath. "Not as bad as Mousse though."
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