Story: Chilly Harem

 

 
Oh, dearest diary, do please forgive me for the betrayal. I know, I know, that you exist as my sounding board as well as my confidante. Alas, you can only serve to echo my own voice rather than adding your own thoughts to it. For this reason, I have had need to cheat on you and make use of another for my scheming, planning and all around skullduggery.

To get to the point: Benten has thawed out. To be honest, in my excitement and anticipation regarding the date between Ataru and Ryuunosuke, I had forgotten all about her. On rereading previous entries, it seemed that I had set up a quite devious idea to bombard her with subliminal messages. I can confirm they seem to have worked, though suspect a few side effects.

It all began when I was planning the date in my normal understated manner.

<hr>

"There!" Oyuki said. "An entire model of Tokyo city on a thousand to one scale, cast entirely in ice. Now I will be able to see every possible permutation and potential variable in this upcoming date."

"Who's going on a date?"

"Why, Master Ataru and Mister Ryuunosuke," Oyuki said.

"Eh, two guys going on a date? Didn't know you were into that sorta thing..."

This is the point where Oyuki suddenly realised that she was not alone. So caught up was she in preparation and planning, scheming and skullduggery (oh, she liked that word, best remember to use that later in her diary) that she had not noticed a certain friend of hers strolling casually into the room. It wasn't like Benten had come in quietly. It wasn't as if Benten was being stealthy. It wasn't as if Benten was capable of being stealthy, this chick was the sort that was incapable of being subtle. Oyuki had simply been so caught up in it that she didn't
even notice someone as loud and brash as Benten coming in and speaking to her until the girl  leaned on her.

"Man, that Ryuunosuke must be a lucky guy if Moroboshi's going gay for him," Benten laughed, because it was a simpler time, a less tolerant time, when being gay was something to be laughed at. Kind of a sucky time for a lot of people really. "Got a picture of him?"

Oyuki had one better. She had a statue of him. Crafted in immaculate detail. She gestured to it, while Oyuki measured out the space around her planned meeting sight. Benten, though, noticed something that Oyuki hadn't. Namely, that there was absolutely nothing gay about this date.

However, Benten being Benten, she was sure as shit not saying anything to Oyuki. Because it would be funny to see the Ice Princess falter for once. The look on her face when she figured it out? Priceless? Also, it would be kinda hot to see Moroboshi start actually building that harem he wanted. Which was a thought that came to her completely naturally without any trace of outside influence at all.

"Sooo, what's the plan?" Benten asked. Eager to stir the pot in any way that she could.

Oyuki brought out a pointer pen, and aimed it at the Moroboshi residence. "At zero minus thirty Earth minutes, Ataru Moroboshi shall leave his residence and will walk south for ten Earth minutes." She shifted the pen to point at Lum's spaceship, hovering overhead. "Meanwhile, Lum shall be kept preoccupied by a combination of Ten, Ran and Rei's typical antics, set off by a one of a kind buffet cake that shall be delivered to Lum's spaceship one minute before Ataru leaves his home."

"Is that an Earth minute, a galactic minute, or a universal minute"? Benten asked. Intending sarcasm.

"Universal, my apologies for not being specific enough," Oyuki said, being completely serious in her admonishment. "Now, Ryuunosuke Fujinami shall leave his residence at zero minus twenty five Earth minutes, and shall travel west. The two shall intercept at this fountain, a noted location for dates to begin with this demographic, as according to my careful retroactive market research."

You could tell Oyuki was a business owner.

"Huh, are you sure that's the best place for them to meet up...?" Benten asked.

"Yes, absolutely, it received an extremely high NPS," Oyuki nodded, as if that made literally any sense at all. On noting Benten's screwed up face, she explained: "Net promoter score. A high number of daters gave the highest likelihood they would recommend this location."

"Uh huh... And what if Ataru spots some chick in a cute skirt?" Benten asked.

Gasp! Horror! Shock! Why, if that happened then... then the two would surely cross paths a little past the fountain! Worse yet, the sun would be in a less than ideal spot in the sky to produce a romantic atmosphere! THe timing or the place would be off, throwing all into disarray!

"There is one girl who goes on a daily jog around this time..." Oyuki reported after a moment consulting her notes. "I shall arrange for her to win a cash prize. Perhaps an all expenses paid trip to Neptune? Yes, yes... So long as the path is kept clear of cute girls I should be safe. Then again, if Master Ataru is interested in Ryuunosuke perhaps I should also calculate for cute boys...?"

"Er, no, I think Ryu-chan is an exception," Benten said. She wanted chaos out of this, but that was going to push things a bit too far in the wrong direction. "So what happens after they meet up?"

"They shall be picked up by my own personal craft, and set aside for a nice romantic evening in the arctic conditions of Neptune," Oyuki nodded triumphantly. "They shall be given a single fur coat to keep them warm, which will cause them to huddle together for warmth, thus ensuring that love shall bloom."

“You’ve been reading romance novels again ain’t ya.”

"Of course not," Oyuki gently answered, lifting her hand and causing a nice sparkly cold breeze through the room. "The word again presumes that I ever stopped."

Benten facepalmed, and once again wondered why it was that she was the smart one of the group. Her. The tough biker chick. She was meant to be the one that whooped your ass, not outsmarted your ass! Ugh, honestly, she really hoped Moroboshi got some smarter chicks in his harem, she didn't wanna be the brains of that operation either!

"So, here's a crazy thought," Benten said through her palm. "Why not send them off to Mercury? The resorts there are super hot 'cause of how close it is to the sun. They'd wind up -"

"Wearing almost nothing!" Oyuki gasped. In her mind, images of the two of them wearing nothing but swimming trunks struck her. The two of them towelling each other off due to the torrents of sweat pouring down their manly, masculine bodies. Even if the date was a failure, an image (or better still, hours long video) of such content would be more than enough to make it worth it! "Humans don't normally wear revealing outfits, so it is like seeing forbidden fruit! Benten, it's perfect! It's sublime! You simply must help me set this up!"

“What do I get out of it?” Benten asked.

“I’ll share the video.”

<hr>

She took the offer Diary. An excellent sign.
Signed,
Oyuki