How could something so hot be so cold at the same time? Given the lore of this universe, Nabiki Tendo ought to cause a hurricane any time she walked in a spiral. Now, it's worth noting that she didn't actually <I>know</i> about Ranma's enchanted penis. Not yet. But it wasn't hard for her to notice a change in his behaviour. The way he was trying oh so hard to not stare at girls, the way he'd awkwardly sit, the faint signs of embarrassment tinging his cheeks or causing his breath to hitch.
It was the funniest shit ever. Someone that proud behaving like that. How could she <i>not</i> fuck with his head? Free entertainment, who was she to pass that up? It wasn't as if she'd needed to put much effort into it, all she needed to do was wear the right clothes and put out the right attitude, and the poor boy was a hormonal wreck in seconds. Not that she could blame him. Kasumi had the boobs and the general housewife appeal, Akane had a trim tummy and the athletic appeal, while Nabiki had legs for days and the bad girl appeal.
The only surprising thing was that he'd not succumbed to lust sooner. Still. What would be the best approach to take next in teasing him? She'd done the popsicle bit, redoing that seemed a little trite. Even with a banana or something it would be a touch too obvious...
As she pondered on the best means by which to torment an innocent youth, Nabiki beheld a rare sight. Her little sister Akane skipping with a big smile on her face.
"Hell sis," she said, looking at the girl up and down. "Don't you look happy all of a sudden. What's the occasion?"
"Nothing!" Akane said. "By the way, have you seen Ranma? I need to ask him something."
Smooth, sis. Super smooth. Nabiki gestured vaguely up towards the roof, and sauntered behind Akane while she was looking up. Then snatched the thing she was holding behind her back and took a good look at it.
"Oh, how fun. The winners of this race can visit any hot or cold spring on Earth." Nabiki smirked triumphantly even as Akane snatched it back and scowled at her. "My my, the naughty things you could get up to together at a hot spring. Alone. With your fiance.”
“Without cloth-” A bit of drool escaped Akane’s mouth before she came back to reality. “NabikI! It’s for Ranma’s cure!”
That... was not the reaction that Nabiki had been expecting. Something for her to think about, later on.
<hr>
Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. The Principal in a speedo. His old man sumo wrestling with the Dojo Destroyer. Cologne and Happosai making out.
"Okay, that should do the trick." Ranma breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "That kinda mental imagery could make a steel girder wilt, there's nothing in the universe sexy enough to -"
"Ranma! Are you up here?"
And he was erect again the instant he heard Akane's voice. Stupid traitorous body getting hot and heavy over that stupid unsexy tomboy!
"Oh, there you are!" her head popped out the top of the roof. Ranma tried not to stare at her face. It was like staring at the sun, except instead of going blind your <i>traitorous giant enchanted penis</i> started to throb hungrily. "Listen, I just won this prize! It's a free entry into a three legged hot spring race!"
A three legged... hot spring race? Oh no. Now on top of everything else Ranma's own imagination was starting to betray him! He could see it plainly and clearly in his mind's eye, the scenario that would inevitably unfold!
<i>The two of them, side by side. Tied together at the ankles. Naked, save for a pair of flimsy towels that they have to hold up.
"Come on, Ranma! Let's win this race!" Akane said. The two of them take a step forward - then she trips. The two of them drop to the floor. He lands on top of her. Their faces are inches away from one another, and in the confusion their towels have vanished outright.
"Cl-clumsy," Ranma whispers. Neither one of them moves for a moment. They simply stare into each other's eyes, as the other racers gain a massive lead... And a flower by the window loses its petals as the two of them let out a hot and steamy breath...</i>
"Y-you're the last person I wanna see right now!" Ranma quickly turned away, deliberately not looking at Akane to the point he didn't even notice she was wearing that cute blue miniskirt and peach jumper that really flattered her figure. Honest, he didn't even spot that.
And he especially didn’t notice the way the skirt flared up to show the slightest hint of the top of her thighs when she jumped in annoyance! He was too busy not finishing that thought he'd expressed aloud: "Because you're making this stupid dick harden, and I simply can't stand it!"
Of course, Akane only heard the first part. She wasn't a mind reader after all. A shame really, as she hadn't got around to the part where Ranma would seriously benefit from participating in this hot spring race.
"Fine then! Be like that!" Akane turned up her nose and stomped off back inside.
Alright then. Deep breath. Now that the <s>un</s>sexy, <s>un</s>cute distraction was gone, he could go about regaining control over this... behemoth. It was simply a matter of mind over body. If he could learn the hiyru shoten ha and the chestnut fist then surely he could keep himself from getting horny when Akane shows up with those way too thick thighs and a butt that he could play like bongos and -
"Dammit, I'm gonna have to go girl for a few hours," Ranma grumbled. "Stupid tomboy, interrupting my training."
<hr>
"Stupid jerk!" Akane yelled in her room with her panties around her ankles and her fingers getting a vigorous workout. In her head she was on top of that stupid sexy jerk.
<i>”Can’t stand the sight of me? I think this disagrees.”</i> She said in her fantasy. Then she lowered herself onto it. The rod. The dick. Basically God in Penis form.
“Ohhh yes then he’d have to say I’m sexy…” Akane moaned, pushing two more fingers in. It was a pale immitation, but she didn’t know where to find a sex shop that made dildos in that size and didn't have the nerve to ask. In her mind she now on top of Ranma, bouncing on him like a trampoline. Ranma’s hands were on her breasts now, and her one free hand began helping push that fantasy along. “Stupid.. Ah.. stupid… jerk..” She mumbled, “Why.. goood….. Can’t you just admit you like me like I do!”
<i>”OK I admit it I want you so bad Akane!”</i> the fantasy Ranma said, and with it came faster pumps in the fantasy and Akane making her fingers a blur in reality.
“Y-ahhhh Ranma…!” Akane gasped, and another orgasm came to her. She’d been having a lot of these recently, yet she somehow knew that none of them would compare to what his dick would provide.
It was at that point somebody knocked on the door to Akane’s room
You’d be surprised how fast a person can pull their hands out of their crotch, pull their blouse down, and kick their discarded panties under their pillow. “Come in!” She said.
Kasumi poked her head through the door, serene as ever. "Hello Akane," she said. "What did Ranma think of your gift?"
"I didn't even get to offer it!" Akane huffed. "He insulted me almost the second he saw me! That jerk! When I'm trying to do him a favour..."
"Akane..." Kasumi said, patting her on the shoulder in that reassuring, motherly way that she does. "You shouldn't do something nice for someone if you're only expecting something nice in return. Ranma insulting you shouldn't put you off offering him something nice."
... Dammit, why was Kasumi so good at laying on a guilt trip? She didn’t even try!
"Why don't you try again," Kasumi said. "Maybe it was a misunderstanding?"
"... Alright, fine. I'll give it a try," Akane said. She hopped off her bed - then remembered that she wasn't wearing underwear right now. Guh! She'd have to walk carefully in this skirt, she didn't want to give anyone a free show! Well... maybe in Ranma's case it might help her get what she wanted, but...
“Oh, before you head out remember to wash your hands Akane.” Kasumi said.
Give her a rock to crawl under, it would really be helpful right about now. Akane decided not to dwell on that for the time being. Instead, she was thinking about the best way to phrase this. Maybe she could put it in an envelope and slide it under the door? No, then Mister Saotome might steal it. She'd have to deliver it personally. Probably the best way to open this would be straight up asking if he wanted a free trip to Jusenkyo, that way they could cut straight to the heart of the matter and bypass all the misunderstandings.
Right! That would do the trick, no problem. She should buck up her ideas. It was the ideal way to get Ranma's attention. He'd be so grateful that he'd -
"Woah, Uchan! If we win this race we can get to Jusenkyo!"
That <b>bitch.</b> Akane froze midstep, her foot hovering a few inches above the ground as she stared at the sight in front of her. Ukyo Kuonji. Ranma Saotome (girl form). Staring excitedly at a ticket that looked veeeeeeery familiar.
Akane’s ticket felt like heavy lead in her pocket. What a completely heavy waste this turned out to be. How the hell could this situation possibly get any worse?!
<hr>
"As you can plainly see Nabiki Tendo, I have had the good fortune to win a free entry ticket into this hot spring race! Ohohohoho!"
Oh, this was rich. Not quite in the manner that Nabiki usually liked things being rich, but a close second. This was rich with enjoyment, rich with... not irony exactly, more like devilry. The opportunity for entertainment this allowed, it was truly... infernal.
Nabiki leaned back in her seat and crossed her legs. "Now, when you say won, what you actually mean is 'stole from your brother'."
"My father actually," Kodachi cackled. "And I did not steal it. I won it fairly by sneaking into his room late at night and acquiring it as he slept under the influence of my sleeping powder."
She had sleeping powder now as well?
"So, what do you want me for?" Nabiki asked.
"Why, the answer is simple!" Kodachi said. "I wish to race alongside my darling Ranma! Oh! How romantic it would be! The two of us, alone, in a hotspring somewhere in the world.."
<i>The pair sit at a window looking outside, they reach for a cup of tea, their fingers touch, a flower loses its petals... You get the idea by now.</i>
“Riiight.” Nabiki said. Honestly she didn’t get the appeal. Sure Ranma wasn’t that bad looking but there were plenty of other guys just as hot with more money and less baggage. "Well, you might be out of luck there. My little sister also won one of those tickets, and... Well. By now she'll have asked him to race with her. She was quite literally on her way to do so when I left home to meet with you."
"Hmph! Interfering little -" Kodachi cut herself off before she finished that sentence. "No matter. I shall remove her from the running and ask Ranma to go instead."
Sigh! "No, no, no. You don't do it that way," Nabiki said. "Look. If you do that, Ranma's going to be annoyed at you and won't want to team up. And that’s <b>if</b> Akane doesn’t just kick your ass, and don’t give me any egotistical nonsense she is fully capable of kicking it. Now, the smarter way is to team up with someone else, enter the race and switch partners with him- Why are you looking at me like that? Oh no! I don't get involved in this kind of martial arts bullshit, and there's nothing you can say that will -"
Then Kodachi dropped a diamond necklace on the table in between them.
"Sold!"
Because Nabiki Tendo may be both hot and cold, but she was still burning with greed more than anything else. Little did she realise, before this race was done she'd be burning with something else as well...
<hr>
Guh! This was so frustrating! Look at them, happily planning and practising over there! Ukyo had swept in right from under her, and scored a decisive victory, and it was boiling Akane's blood seeing how good a team they were!
"Hahaha! Uchan, you have no idea how much this means to me!" Ranma was saying. In boy form. With Ukyo staring very obviously at the prize. "Never gonna be a girl again! Gonna win this race, gonna win this race!"
"Yeah... Gonna win this race..." Ukyo drooled.
Those two... Ugh! Akane couldn't get anywhere near them like this. Kasumi's advice was still in the forefront of Akane's mind. She should be happy for him. Except... Except that if he went off with Ukyo she'd be the one getting the whole white robes, accidental touches, - <i>Flower, fall off, etc.</i> treatment and that simply wasn't fair!
"Step, step, step, step!" Ranma chanted.
"Hold my closer, Ranchan!" Ukyo said. "Closer! We've gotta get our steps in time with each other!"
"Hah! You're a much better partner than some uncute clumsy girl! I'd have tripped over your feet already if you were like that!"
Right, that was it, she wasn't sticking around here anymore. She turned on her heels and walked away, just barely missing Ranma letting a phrase slip implying he was distracted by his attraction to her and Ukyo responding with pointedly ignoring it.
“I can’t let Ukyo win.” She said to herself. But she couldn’t enter the race on her own! She needed to find someone who would also have Ranma’s interests at heart. Ryoga? No, he was never around. Mousse? Hah, no, he'd laugh in her face. Her father? No, he'd try to use it to set them up which would drive him away...
Which left her with no other course but to make a deal with the devil.
"Nihao kitchen wrecker," Shampoo said. "What you want?"
"Let's make a deal," Akane said, certain that she was going to regret this but not remotely sure how.
- The race begins! The three teams square off at the starting line.
- Now that Akane is gone, Ukyo makes a play for that D.
- We jump straight into the middle of the race. Things are already on fire. Metaphorically. Probably.
- Something else
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