Do you have the faintest idea how hard it is to become an accredited evil scientist? You have to attend evil university for five years, earn your Doctorate, much like you do for being a not evil scientist. But now note the word 'evil' in the description. Everything about the process is evil. Your lecturers are evil. Your roommates are evil. The accommodations are evil. The exams are outright demonic.
A normal student working on his doctorate doesn’t have to deal with the danger of death-rays misfiring. Or with mind control devices turning someone’s brain into goo. Or with an angry coworker vaporizing you because he thinks you were peeking at his paper during the last test.
You don't have to deal with booby-trapped beds by a roommate attempting to manipulate the grading curve. And the less said about the evil student loans, the better! Here's a hint: Humans only have to pay money' back rather than pieces of their soul.
And the worst is the heroes, they never appreciate all the hard work that goes into becoming a proper villain. In the old days, they would listen and exchange speeches, banter is important before a battle! But now, everyone just starts shooting without even giving the chance to show off the new doomsday device that took weeks or months of work to get working correctly.
"You want us to study some freaky contagious bimbofication effect?" asked the assistant researcher, wondering when exactly his life turned into a bad porn plot. "I mean, okay. I guess we could do that. Rather than work on this WMD that transforms a city into a giant diamond, but. Okay. Bimbofication it is."
Frustration was the watchword of the hour. Honestly the whole thing was so ridiculously stupid. If they ever met whoever had created this transformative effect, they would make sure to show them just what qualifications a graduate of evil inc. had to have.
The test subject was brought into the testing chamber, which - of course - was actually situated in a whole other reality. Best way to keep contamination in check, don't you know. It wouldn’t do for the very people researching the problem to become victims and end up too stupid to keep it contained. They had a whole course on that, covered your typical grey goo and zombie scenarios. Really bad times for everyone, good or evil. Could even result in a (ew) 'team up' between the heroes and the villains to contain the mutual menace.
"Teeheehee!" the bimbofied human said, waving up at them. "Hi, hi! I heard there are studs in here, can you, like, send them in please?"
Yep. Total and complete bimbo. Long flowing golden hair, boobs like basketballs, aesthetically pleasing curvy figure and a predilection towards colourful revealing clothing. Lacking in intelligence, high in libido, almost certainly a natural at getting laid too.
The assistant hated to admit it, but she was kind of hot. Once he was done here he absolutely had to get back to his girlfriend for some truly evil sex. For now...
"We should probably observe the transformation process. Do we have any disposable test subjects at hand?”
"Grabbed a few homeless last night, so we have plenty," the head researcher said.
That's one major benefit of evil science. You don't have to bother with piddly little things like 'ethics'. So long as your research is performed within scientific principles, with rigorous testing, controls, etc, you can do whatever the fuck you want to whoever the fuck will let you do it.
“Good, let’s throw one in and tune the sensors to max.” He said, noddin
A human is dropped into the room, middle ages and with a haggard appearance that makes it clear he hasn’t had enough meals or easy sleep for a while. Unkempt clothes. Scraggly hair, and a long beard. He's confused and afraid, as well he should be, but only until he spots the bimbo.
"H-Hey, pretty lady! Where are we?" he asks.
"Ew, keep back! You totally stink!" the bimbo gags.
“Oh come on, we are all alone in the middle of nowhere. Gotta help each other... Do you have any idea how to get out of here?” He said, trying to look as friendly as possible.
"We've picked up something," the assistant said. "There's a pink... something or other spreading into the area around the bimbo. There's not much of it, but it's definitely present. Suggest we accelerate the time to witness the effect more efficiently."
"Agreed," the head researcher said. "Accelerating time. Watch for that energy spike."
Time travel was normally out for bad guys. Trying to mess with the timeline had a nasty tendency of getting on the bad side of Sailor Pluto and getting erased from existence. Fortunately, she couldn’t sense if you made localized time-anomalies instead of anything that actually affected the entire world. They hadn't quite figured out a way to use it for tactical benefit yet beyond research purposes, primarily because... well, if they tried to fast produce monsters using this method they tended to starve to death before they could be useful. They could only use it in short bursts like this.
The two humans mostly paced around the room, knocking on the walls and trying to find a way out. The homeless guy rather obviously checking out the bimbo when she wasn't looking, while the bimbo seemed to instinctively lean over in provocative ways regardless of her obvious disgust at him.
But then, they soon noticed little things changing about the room. Before it was merely a cell, but... somehow, it had developed an aesthetic. Pink painted walls, a flowery carpet, a King sized bed. And the homeless guy had changed as well, though the first it became obvious was the moment he took his ratty clothes off and revealed a six pack. It was about two seconds before his beard fell off revealing a strong handsome jawline and -
"Well, this turned into a nature documentary in a hurry," the assistant quipped.
"Less of the snark," the head researcher admonished.
“Alright, I am sending up the sensor data.. huh that is some damn nasty signature. Once it starts affecting things, it gets stronger and stronger...” The assistant was frowning and tilted his head. “We're lucky that it doesn’t seem capable of moving through dimensions. Reversing this effect looks tricky at best.”
"That will make it difficult to weaponize in a useful way," the head assistant sighed. "It's the same old problem any bioweapon has. It inevitably hits you as well."
“Could make an effective dead-man’s switch though?” One of the assistants said, pondering the question with some interest. “Any hero would be much more hesitant in destroying the boss if doing so would release the Bimbocalypse.”
"Interesting idea, but let's continue researching for now," the head researcher said. "The more data we have, the more likely we'll be to have a counter for it. Containment, cure, detection, we're likely to need all of it, and quickly."
But the assistant had broader ideas. He'd thought this was stupid, until he'd seen that contagious effect. If they could figure out a way to control the bimbos... If they could figure out some way to make those horny sexy idiots obey their commands...
He smiled a little private evil smile to himself. A genius using fools as an unstoppable army. Oh, that would certainly make a rather brilliant thesis, would it not? Unleash that upon the universe and soon enough he'd rule it all. Nobody could stop him! There wasn't a hero alive who could stand up to something like that! No hero at all!
Not to mention he could give himself an early birthday present when he next had a meetup with his girlfriend.
<hr>
Usagi sneezed, and for some reason that made Makoto nearly jump out of her skin.
"I'm telling you guys, you all became, I don't know, complete space cadets," Makoto said. "It was the weirdest thing, how do I explain it... You've seen those pictures of us online, right? The porno parodies that go a little too far?"
"No," Rei shook her head.
"No," Minako shook her head.
"Yes, I mean no," Ami said.
“No?” Usagi said, deciding to rather snuggle into Mamoru’s side than to join the conversation.
"Oh, it's, like, really disgusting," Makoto said, absently twirling her hair around her index finger. "You know how our skirts are already super short? They make them even shorter, turn the leotard into a thong, give it a boob window... It's really obvious. You know?"
Mamoru gulped and squirmed in his seat. "I, uh, yes. I can imagine," he said. "It strikes me as the work of a perverted evil force, trying to distract you from your duties. I think you should all investigate in your own way, while I keep an eye on Usagi."
"You mean, bang her like a cheap floozy," Minako teased. Which earned her an elbow nudge from Rei, a kick to the shin from Makoto, and an embarrassed cough by Ami. "Alright, alright! You're not that kind of guy."
"If any of us finds something, contact the others right away," Rei said. "I do not think that we should transform, at least not until we have a better idea of what's going on."
And with that, the Sailor Scouts had their plan of attack. Would they be able to keep themselves from falling completely, becoming full time bimbos? Or would the villains find a way to weaponize the transformation? Wouldn't bet on either, but let's see what the future holds...
- Ami tries to investigate, but finds it really hard to concentrate because she's getting horny.
- Rei meditates on the issue. Sees a whole lot of sex in the future.
- Mamoru tries to keep Usagi nice and calm. He even lasts a whole five minutes before she manages to seduce him.
- Makoto goes to the Inners to ask for help. They notice her change in behaviour almost right away.
- Minako doesn't have a plan to investigate and is content to goof off. Winds up encountering another monster.
- Something else
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