Sunday, 11 August 2019

Story: Double Trouble


Ryoga Hibiki was not the sort of guy who could say no to a pretty face. It simply wasn't in his nature. He got flustered super easily when it came to girls. And why not? He never really interacted with them usually. He was too busy trying to work out where the hell he was now to give such matters a second thought.

Even so.

"Uh... Is it strictly necessary to rub down my chest in baby oil?"

"Oh, it's vital. Absolutely vital."

Well, she was the one training him. Kodachi probably knew what she was talking about. Ryoga only wished she was wearing something a bit more covering than that leotard. He coughed nervously.

"I've never seen this version of rhythmic gymnastics martial arts before." Ryoga said. Not accusatory at all, merely curious to learn more. He was kind of naive like that. And by naive, I mean 'dumb as a sack of hammers'.

"Oh, it's a style of my own invention," Kodachi explained. "Now then, my healthy junior!" Actually Ryoga was older than her by about two and a half months. "The two of us shall begin our training in full order! Ohohohoho! Let us see what you can do!"

She handed him a ribbon. Alright. He lifted it above his head and flicked it around into the shape of a butterfly. Yep, this was a pretty good ribbon, so far as he could see.

"Oh no, dear me Mister Hibiki, this is no way to use your ribbon," Kodachi tutted. She slipped behind him and grabbed hold of his wrist. Really? What had he done wrong? His previous instructor had been quite happy with his dexterity. "If you are to fight in full fairness, you must have a little more snap to it. Remember, this is a martial arts contest."

“But doesn’t Martial Arts Gymnastics also have judges who give points off form?” Ryoga asked.

“If you get the opponent knocked out then the points don’t matter.” Kodachi replied. Well yeah, that made sense. "Besides, what if you are fighting when there are no judges around?”

“Why would we be fighting if there aren’t judges around?”

Oh this sweet naive boy. Kodachi had <b>so much</b> to teach him. And she was going to start by pulling herself in nice and close so she could flick his wrist with just the right kind of snap.

"There," she said. "Didn't that feel so much more... Satisfying?" If Ryoga had an ounce of <s>self preservation</s> awareness in his body he'd have noticed the intentional lust dripping from her every word. Then either fainted or run screaming into the woods. Alas... Kodachi pulled herself closer, until it almost seemed as though she was trying to step inside of Ryoga's body from their sheer proximity. He could feel every breath, every twitch of muscle, every beat of her heart. She flicked his wrist again, and the ribbon cracked like a whip. "Give it a try. I'm right here to show you how to do this properly..."

Right. That was the important part for Ryoga Hibiki. Hone his craft. Hone his killing intent. Fight in full fairness with that cheater, Ranma Saotome. He would do anything, put up with any kind of training, if it meant getting that far!

Oh, the things we ask for and the things we get. Some of our worst times in life are when these two are one and the same.

<hr>

Tatewaki Kuno was greatly troubled, to say the very least. To think. That vile cur Ranma Saotome would find himself with the good grace to be engaged with the beautiful Akane Tendo on arrangement between their fathers. This despite the rumors he had heard that he was sampling the beauty of his beautiful cousin Ranko! Of course, Kuno was not convinced they were true, not when the fair maiden had so assisted him and Hibiki in their quest to defeat Saotome. But regardless he could easily see such an animal lusting after such a pure beauty!

Oh, but they were both such wonderous creatures, splendid examples of the fairer sex. Ranko Saotome may be blood related to that scoundrel - and on reflection there were certain traits in common - but she was a vision of heaven walking this earth. Such radiance, such passion, such bountiful... brilliance! Why, he had never thought it possible that any could equal Akane Tendo in his thoughts and yet there she was!

"There is no alternative. I shall have to teach Ranma Saotome how best to respect women," Kuno said, totally and completely not from a place of jealousy because he wasn't getting any. "I must train my body and mind." To that end he grabbed his long thin weapon of choice, holding it at crotch height with both hands and not at all feeling inadequate about his romantic situation. Then he marched off to the dojo so that he could better figure out what he wanted to do next.

He threw the door open and stepped inside. And what should he find upon entering the Kuno family training hall? A bear trap right in the doorway. Easily sidestepped, he'd lived with Kodachi for all of her life so he was used to that by now. She'd set her first beartrap before she'd said her first word.  He then avoided three poison dart traps and a freshly dug pit.

“She must be particularly focused on training, she’s not even trying with her traps today.” Kuno observed. Then his eyes fell upon his sister. Engaged in her training. Yet she was not alone on this terrible, terrible day.

"Brother dearest, knock in the future!" Kodachi said. And she had good reason to say so. Much the same as a horny teenage boy would make the same complaint to his mother right as she was about to catch him watching porn.

Her sister was straddling a boy's waist. While in her leotard. The boy was wearing trousers, true enough, but he had no shirt on and his chest had clearly been rubbed down with baby oil. Said boy was also holding a ribbon and cracking it like a whip against the air over his sister's head.

"Oh hey I didn't realise she was your sister," Ryoga Hibiki said.

Alright. Alright then. Tatewaki Kuno took a deep, deep breath. He did not like his sister very much. At all. However, she was still his sister. In which case there was only one thing that an older brother like him could do in a situation like this. He raised his bokken above his head, tossed it aside, pulled out his real sword and leaped into the air while letting out a battle cry.

"Ryoga Hibiki! Prepare to die!"

<hr>

"So you see, brother dear, this is why you shouldn't leap to conclusions and think with your sword."

"Yes, sister. I understand."

"You gave my new training partner quite the scare! It's most fortunate that he has abs of steel, otherwise you might have hurt him."

"Of course sister, I'm sorry."

This was not quite how Ryoga Hibiki had expected today's training session to go. Right now, the Kuno siblings were engaged in a rather simple sibling chat. The older brother, hanging from the ceiling from oh so many ribbons. Kodachi, admonishing him like a stern teacher.

"Um, I can leave if there's family business to sort out..."

“Oh no you can stay for family business Ryoga.” Kodachi said, catching him with a ribbon before he could leave. "Since I am training you, you are practically a part of the family now. Ohohohoho! Do feel free to stay the night, I am sure we can set you up in the guest room. Isn't that right, big brother?"

Tatewaki made a very unhealthy noise right then. Ryoga - as mentioned previously having the observational talent of a particularly unattentive boulder - felt that this was confirmation that his new friend Tatewaki Kuno was putting him up for the night. What a generous and kind family the Kunos were turning out to be. With allies like these, Ranma Saotome would know the swift course of justice in no time fast!

<hr>

"There's no justice in this world," Ranma Saotome - present day version - moaned to the heavens. He'd tried challenging his future self to a fight, see if he could pick up anything. The only thing he picked up were a fresh batch of bruises on his beautiful, beautiful face. "How did he move so fast? I couldn't even see him, but he must've hit me a dozen times!"

"One hundred and twelve, actually," his future self called out from across the garden. Look at him there. Her. whatever. Lounging all cool and stuff, leaning back against the wall around the compound while reading a comic. She hadn’t even put down the comic while kicking his ass!

Guh! This was infuriating! Sure, logically speaking himself from two years in the future would be a much, much better martial artist but - dammit, his pride was biting at his heels! He had to get better. He had to find a way to take this smug arrogant know it all's face and rub it right in it. But how? Getting that fast seemed impossible. He couldn't think of any training that might....

Then it dawned on him. Motivation. Like Mister Tendo was saying. With the right motivation, he could... He might be able to...

"Hehehehe..." Ranma (again, present) chuckled to himself. "Heheheh! Hahahaha! That's it! I know what I have to do now!"


"Huh, is that what it sounds like when I have a brilliant idea?" future Ranma asked. "Man, I gotta stop doing that, it looks and sounds really dorky."

"Just you wait! You'll be laughing out the other side of your face before long!" present Ranma declared with fully renewed confidence. He pointed a finger at her, dramatically. "By the time my training's done, I'll be fully caught up with you!"

"Okay, let me know when you've knocked out an eight headed dragon, destroyed a mountain, and ripped an immortal Phoenix to shreds."

“Ranma you did not destroy the mountain, that was mostly Herb. Plus that mountain was hollow anyways.” Future Akane said from the living room.

"Still calling it!" Ranma yelled back.

Bah, never mind the two of them. Ranma stalked inside the Tendo home in search of his prey. It was brilliant, really. It made so much sense. With this simple training technique, he'd catch up with his future self in no time flat. It was obvious in retrospect: He must've realised it himself eventually... Which made his mind boggle at the possibilities ahead of him now that he was going for it all this much sooner.

He knocked at a certain door. On hearing the word "Come in?" he opened the door and found his training partner and unwanted fiancee sitting at her desk, doing homework. "R-Ranma? What do you want?"

At this, Ranma walked into her room and leaned over her. His plan was perfect. Flawless. With Akane's help he'd reach all new heights. He wasn't the sort to get help usually, but in this case... to get <i>that</i> good he was gonna need it. In which case, there was only one question he needed to ask.

"Wanna go catch a movie? My treat."


  1. In a fit of tsundereness Akane chucks him out the window.
  2. Akane accepts and they head out to the movie theater.
  3. ...But Future Ranma and Akane overhear, and think this is far too suspicious since <b>they</b> didn’t advance their relationship that casually. So they stalk their younger counterparts.
  4. Kodachi attempts to seduce Ryoga
  5. Something Else

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