Story: UY Alien Flu

Are you familiar with the philosophy of perception? Well, let's think about it this way. What does red look like? Explain it to someone that's been blind their entire life, and see how far you get. Well, the same sort of thing was happening to Ataru that morning. He just sort of felt... Off. He couldn't articulate it, but something felt completely wrong from the moment he woke up and started walking off to school. Lum was still sick, so he was by himself. His parents had barely said a word to him. That was all normal. But something still felt a little bit -

Hello! Early morning cutey at five o' clock! A really cute chick in a different school uniform from his own, walking on by without a care in the world. Ataru immediately forgot his concerns in that particular area and immediately set his sights on this new target, free in the certainty that Lum was still recovering from her sickness so no thunderbolts today! He slid right on up to her and began his usual spiel -

"Hi cutie! What's your name? Your address? Your phone number? Your dick size?"

Only to be interrupted when a completely different girl from his own school sidelined him with those very questions. The girl originally in his line of sights suddenly made a very obvious quick charge up ahead past them, deliberately avoiding eye contact. Ataru was too caught off balance to give any kind of proper reaction to the unexpected interrogation, and especially when considering the very weird look in this girl's eyes. Seemed oddly familiar for some reason.

"Uh... I'm Ataru Moroboshi," he volunteered. "What's your name?"

"Who, me?" the girl said with an oddly sultry tone. Odd because he'd never once heard it in his life directed towards him. "I'm -"

"Hi cutie! What's your name? Your address? Your phone number? Your dick size?"

Which is when another girl from his school stepped right on out of nowhere and started hitting on him as well, which was the sort of thing that was so rare and uncommon that for a moment he thought he was dreaming. Then dismissed that idea because it would mean he'd wake up just when things were getting good! Ataru looked quickly between the two girls, who in turn looked at one another, and what was it he'd said earlier about no lightning? That might have been premature. If the sparks between these two were to be believed, he was not far from death.

"I saw him first," the first girl claimed, tugging on Ataru's shirt. "I want him in my harem."

"<i>Your</i> harem?" the second girl replied in a mocking tone. "But he'll be perfect for <i>my</i> harem!"

Confused? Ataru sure as hell was. These two girls were clamouring for him to join their harem? The hell?! It was the weirdest thing. Normally something like that, he'd be all over it. Two horny chicks fighting over him. That's the sort of stuff that leads to threesomes and more! But today... It was so weird, but he felt this kind of compulsion to get the hell out of there. Sort of like, a vague impression that if he followed those instincts something terrible would come of it.

However. Ataru Moroboshi was never the sort of person to listen to those kinds of instincts! Not when his lust was as strong as it was. While the two girls were still arguing, he began snaking one hand around either of their bodies in an attempt to pull them closer to himself, and then -

"Noooo, you fool! Stop!"

And then got tackled to the ground by Megane of all people.

"Run!" Megane warned. "You've got to flee! Don't let any of them do anything sexy with you!"

"... Should I stop breathing while I'm at it?"

"Hey cutie? What's your name? Your address? Your phone number? Your dick size?"

Huh. Kind of creepy how they did that in unison. In fact, come to think of it, there were more voices in that than there probably should have... Huh, where did those ten other girls come from?

"They already got the others," Megane explained. "Didn't stand a chance. I had to watch them all get picked off one by one! We've got to avoid the girls, the sexier they are the worse it seems to be!"

"Worse what seems to be?"

"I'll explain once we've finished running and screaming for our lives. Oh! Right, that reminds me. RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!"

<hr>
In the meantime, a certain rich prick was walking to school. He did not normally indulge in this mundane, pedestrian task but it did seem to him that it would be rather a cruel and twisted thing to keep his glorious visage from the masses. Besides which, after yesterday's little scare with exposure to alien toxins, it seemed wisest to embrace the fresh air to help him revitalise. Challenge his body to sustain a short walk to help it recover, refresh his immune system and give the medicine the opportunity to work.

Ah yes, that alien medicine. Mendo was at least smart enough to have its label looked upon by someone that had taken the opportunity to study the alien language - Which was an inevitable fact, really. The revelation that they were not alone in the universe had quite the astounding impact on numerous scientific fields, and Mendo had personally noted some prominent linguists taking the opportunity to decipher the alien tongue of the Oni. Linguists who rapidly found their studies under the employ of the Mendo family, for one day Shutaro truly did intend to perhaps impress Lum by asking her out on a date in her own native language.

Which, of course, would take him but a week to master. Because even if all of the above seemed sensible, romantic and intelligent the Mendo family was still in no short supply of arrogance. Anyway, all that the alien medicine seemed to do was cleanse the body's electrical field, and that it seemed to be safe enough for humans to consume. So he took two pills and slept calmly through the night. It must have worked wonders.

There was another unexpected benefit to this walking endeavour he had not considered previously. "Ah!" he exclaimed exuberantly. "Greetings, Miss Sakura! I did not realise that our routes towards the school intersected? May I say, you look positively radiant today."

What he expected was for her to feign politeness in her usual manner then continue on her way, forcing him to maintain the conversation. That did rather seem like what should have been happening. But instead...

"Of course I look radiant," she said in a rather haughty manner that struck him as completely unlike the woman he knew. "Since my recovery from persistent illness, there's never a day when I am anything less. Even so, your observation is received gratefully, and let me give you one of my own. There is something peculiar about your electrical field."

"Ah, you noticed that?" he asked.

"But of course! I am a trained exorcist. It does not appear to be of demonic influence, but I am talented enough to take note of such matters with great facility."

Something about this conversation was setting him quite ill at ease. It was as though the longer he stayed in her presence, the more self confident she became. Well, it was quite refreshing really. Mendo men like a bit of confidence in their women, and right now Miss Sakura was brimming with it. Perhaps he was rubbing off on her?

Well, in a sense you could say that he was. Just not quite in the way that one might think.

1. Somehow Sakura winds up in a dark, cramped place, and reacts exactly like Mendo would.
2. Switch to Sakura's perspective, as she notices something is wrong but can't help how she's behaving.
3. Lum wakes up to see utter chaos.
4. Ataru tries desperately to control the situation towards his own advantage.
5. Ataru tries desperately to fix the problem.
6. Something else