Sunday, 31 May 2015

Story: GS Level Upper


Whenever Mikami entered Yakuchindou she was reminded of an old saying: Let the buyer beware. It was a store for all sorts of magical items, which she absolutely needed to be able to do her job with any kind of effectiveness. Sure, a bad workman blames their tools. But even the best need to have tools to do their job in the first place! Even so. The owner was a greedy little perv that loved, <i>loved</i> to try out his new stock items on unsuspecting saps.

She walked inside, expecting the worst. Steeling herself against an expert salesman -

<i>"I'm sorry, but the diagnosis is certain."

"But that means I'll never leave the hospital again!"

"Perhaps... If you were to rest your head within my bosom it might relieve your strain."</i>

"... What kind of weird-ass sickness is that?" Mikami asked, momentarily forgetting what she was so worried about. It was a little bit difficult to take him seriously as a salesman when his attention was completely drawn to an obvious porn on his television.

"An absolutely debilitating sort!" Yakuchin yelled, with tears streaming down his face. "Do not belittle this poor soul's tragedy! His only chance now is if that nurse allows him to motorboat - Oh! Hello, Mikami! How <i>nice</i> to see you again!"

She bet it was. She was wearing her usual outfit, after all. A tight, shoulderless dress that didn't leave all that much to the imagination, but still stood on the side of decency. The ultimate effect? Throw off the perverts. Keep 'em off balance with something they'd never ever get a chance at!

"I'm here for the usual," she said, brandishing her company card. "I trust it's ready?"

"Of course, of course!" Yakuchin cheerily replied to her chest. He reached behind the counter and produced a bag. "It's all here. The usual amount as well, plus since you've been such a great customer over the years -"

"No," Mikami interrupted. "Whatever it is, I'm not interested. You just want me to test out some new product of yours, and I'm not going to fall for that. Hell, I don't think even Yokoshima would fall for it again after that <i>last</i> time."

"He was only in Ancient Greece for a week," Yakuchin sniffed. "And I'm sure his hair isn't bright green anymore... Anyway, the product I'm talking about has already been tested out before it even came my way -"

"Still not buying!" Mikami interrupted. "If you wanted me to buy it, that would be one thing. You'd mark it all the way up. A free offer? Fat chance! You already know I'm a repeat customer."

"...Tsk! Fine," Yakuchin groused. A little too easily for her ease of mind. "It's your loss, but if you're gonna be this difficult about it. Fine, whatever!"

She honestly expected him to dump another sales pitch on her before leaving, but no. He instead found a way to both sulk and leer at once, then let her leave the store without a moment's notice. Hah! How about that? Maybe she'd been worried about nothing?

Of course, it wasn't until she actually got back to the office that she figured out he'd already put the item in her bag to start with, even before she'd arrived at the store.

The item sat in the middle of the table. Far, far away from everything else. It was a hip-mounted device. Had a little microphone on the side and two monitors. She couldn't see any place for batteries. The only clue on the item itself towards what it did were the words "Level Upper" printed on the underside.

Now. A couple different options did fly through Mikami's head just then. First of all, she should throw it out. Destroy it. Except! Consequences. Whatever this thing was, it was definitely supernatural in some way. Either of those might come back to bite her on her butt in a way that would make Yokoshima jealous. Couldn't leave it out either. Keeping it meant that particular idiot might get the bright idea to try using it, and then where would they be? Exactly: No answer.

"In which case," Mikami decided, staring up at the ceiling with fearsome determination. "The first thing I should do is return it to that sneaky, greedy son of a bitch, and then I'll teach him what it means to make money!"

"Command accepted," an electronic monotone voice on the device announced. The upper monitor suddenly flickered to life, suddenly reading "Make money." Then, to Mikami's partial amazement it immediately shot up and over towards her hip, fastening firmly in place. "Trial period beginning," it continued. "Approximate moneymaking level: 15."

"Fifteen?!" Mikami yelled. "What's that supposed to mean, you cheap son of a - Ugh! Why won't this blasted thing detach already?!"

"During trial period, Level Upper will remain secure to potential customer to ensure their safety and safety of the device," it explained. "Once trial period has concluded, Level Upper will detach."

"...And how long <i>is</i> the trial period?"

"One week."

"Hi, Mikami! Sorry I'm late, I -"

Which is when Yokoshima found himself buried underneath a couch. He hadn't really deserved it, but all of a sudden Mikami needed to let off a little steam. That done, she could approach the situation in a more calm and reasonable manner. To start with, if she had to put up with this for a whole damned week then she might as well start with the biggest question on her mind.

"So what the hell <i>is</i> a 'level upper' when it's at home?"


  1. Mikami immediately begins experimenting with it. Hell why not?
  2. Mikami tries to avoid using it, but finds things gaining levels anyway.
  3. Before she can even learn what it does, a lucrative job arrives!
  4. Something else

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