Story: Own Personal Shampoo

 

Ultimately there was only one thing that could be done when someone was issued a martial arts challenge at the Tendo Dojo. That being, a wacky training sequence as they desperately try to learn the wacky martial art they'd been challenged to.

Traditions are born from stranger things. Sure, it hadn't happened too much as of yet, but at this point it was pretty clear that one day an elderly Ranma, Akane and Shampoo would watch on as their grandkids tried to figure out how the hell martial arts spinning tops worked.

Although, it must be said, the trio made a grave tactical error for their training today. It came in two halves. The first half was that Ranma was in girl form. The second was that they were all training in leotards.

It makes sense when you think about it. Of course they'd train in leotards. They'll be fighting in them. However, these three had been involved in some quite, ahem, kinky interplay over the last few weeks which meant that wearing something as form fitting, snug, and alluring as a leotard when you're engaging in sweaty physical activity was going to act as a magnifying glass over their mutual sexual awareness.

"Don't worry Shampoo, we'll make sure you don't have to date Kodachi," Akane said.

"This is not a problem," Shampoo said. "I'm used to fending off people who can't say no."

"Did they have an ojou sama laugh that could shatter glass?" Akane asked. "Did they have steady access ot paralysis powder? Did they ever try to ambush you in your own bedroom by hanging from the ceiling?"

"Did they ever leave so many rose petals around you're finding them in places you didn't expect to a week later?" Ranma asked. Both girls looked at her. "What, one time I poured out some cereal and a petal fell out of it, what did you think I meant?"

“Do rubber ducks and swords count?” Shampoo asked

"You found a rubber duck in your cereal?" Ranma asked, prompting Akane to elbow her in the ribs. "Ah, anyway! We'd better teach you this martial arts gymnastics thing either way."

"Can't I just kick her butt into next week?" Shampoo asked.

"Yes, but then you'd have to deal with her next week," Ranma said. "Besides, beating her at her own game should... Uh..." A deep thoughtful expression crossed her features. "Huh, I guess there's not really much of a benefit to that..."

"The Police won't get involved if it's an official fight," Akane said.

"There are Police in Furinkan?! Where? When?! I swear they must be rarer than bigfoot!"

Shampoo sighed. Oh, she loved these two idiots she had as her masters, she really and  truly did. It did not prevent them from actually being idiots, but there you go. If they wanted her to learn this silly style of martial arts, then who was she to go against them? She picked up the first of the tools they were meant to be using in this style-  a ribbon. A stick with a lengthy strip of coloured cloth on it.

"Ah, good choice!" Akane said, picking up a ribbon of her own. "This is probably Kodachi's favourite weapon. You can tie your opponent up in it, grab weapons out of the air-" Which Akane punctuated by tossing some clubs out, and Ranma then used her own whip to easily grab them.. "Give it a try!"

Alright, that didn't seem too hard. Shampoo had pretty great hand eye coordination already so this should be a breeze. She held the ribbon aloft, narrowed her eyes on the club in Ranma's hand and prepared to snatch it out of the air with her ribbon.

The club sailed through the air like a drunk baby bird in the midst of its first flight. It sailed across, then landed on the floor without issue. Meanwhile, Shampoo watched it happen, her ribbon never going anywhere near it, because in the scant few seconds it had flown through the air she'd somehow managed to hogtie herself with the ribbon.

"That was impressive for all the wrong reasons," Ranma said.

"Ranma! Can't you see how hard she's trying?" Akane yelled.

"Stupid ribbon, it's a stupid weapon," Shampoo groused.

"Then don't think of it as a ribbon," Akane said. She then brought her ribbon taut, and cracked it, hitting Ranma right in the butt. "Use it as a whip!"

“Eep!” Ranma jumped up, and Akane smirked. "He-hey, watch where you're lashing that thing, clumsy tomboy!" Which earned Ranma another whip crack right to the butt. And another. And another, then another and another and Ranma wasn't 'eeping' so much anymore as 'moaning' while on her hands and knees thrusting her butt out as if begging for more, more, more.

By which time Shampoo had managed to disentangle herself.Not that she was stopping Akane or anything. She was studying the girls' wrist motion. Watching how she used her hand. If she could replicate that... Well, let's be reasonable here. Lady Akane could (and did) dominate her in  every day life and bedroom, but in a real martial arts contest Shampoo was better in almost every way. No, wait. Carry the two... In every way. Some day she would be Shampoo’s equal, but that day wasn’t there yet. So it stood to reason that she should be able to replicate something like this.


Although she had to admit to being impressed. All Shampoo did was blink and somehow Akane had managed to tie Ranma up shibari style.

“Enough of the uncute tomboy remarks, buster!" Akane dusted off her hands. Her breathing was heavy. There was sweat matting her bangs to her brow. She hadn't actually done anything nearly approaching enough to make her physically exhausted yet.

Which made Shampoo the first of them to realise the problems mentioned at the start of this episode. Training in leotards like this was... Gosh, but Lady Akane's figure wasn't anything to sneeze at. While of the three of them it didn’t have some immediate jumping off point, that fit athletic body... Contrasted with Ranma's curvaceous shortstack physique... Yes, this could prove to be distracting to say the least.

"Let's try the hoops instead!" Ranma said. She twirled it around in her fingers, then made it spin around her index finger. "You can use this to make your opponent back off. It's a kind of weapon you don't need to use your hands to use. See?"

Then she dropped it around her torso, let it settle around her hips and began to make it spin there. Such a dumb weapon. Any fighter worth their salt could dodge it easily. Besides, how was that meant to hurt? The outer edge didn't look sharp at all, and you couldn't possibly build up enough momentum to... uh...

"Guh..." Akane boggled, realised she'd made that noise, then put her hand over her mouth. Though Shampoo well understood the reason why. Keeping a hula hoop going, especially at those speeds, required precision movements of the hips. Certain intense gyrations, which had a fascinating effect on the female figure. A jiggly effect. It made one extremely aware of the shape, of the flexibility. It made the chest bounce and shake. It drew attention to the midsection, the waist, the butt and the thighs all of which were having a subtle effect on the body as well.

Never mind then. This hoop thing was a much more devastating weapon than Shampoo could have imagined. When Ranma stopped to pass it to her, Shampoo's fingers were trembling. Okay. This should go a bit easier than the ribbon. She'd been watching Ranma quite intensely, so this should be fine.

"So, Shampoo, I have a question."

"Yes, Lady Akane?"

"How did you tie yourself into the Shibari position with a freaking hoop?!"

"Shampoo is not sure, Lady Akane. Will try not to do that again."

This was not going well. What a strange and esoteric martial art this was proving to be. It would be better if she'd done any rhythmic gymnastics before - or even knew what that was! But while climbing up to her feet Shampoo's hand fell upon something she understood perfectly well.

"Ah yeah! The clubs!" Ranma said. "Alright, let me have a crack at 'em, and you'll be using them like a pro in no time -"

But Shampoo was already running through a mace-kata, beating back an imaginary twenty or so opponents. She swung the heavy end of the clubs with perfect precision, ducking, rolling, crossing them to block as if she'd been born doing it. Which she hadn't, of course. She'd been doing it since she was three. The maces were bigger but the principles were the same and she had practised many times over with maces of many sizes, making it easy to adjust.

"...See! A pro in no time!" Ranma nodded wisely. She turned to smirk at Akane, but all she got instead was Akane grabbing her cheeks and yelling in her face.

"Stop being so hot! For five seconds!" Akane then tackled Ranma to the floor and proceeded wit hthe makeout that was pretty much inevitable the second the leotards hit their bodies. Ranma's pigtail shot out straight, her hands quavered, reached up to push Akane away.

'Hey wait a second,' Ranma's brain went. 'Feel that uncute body pressing up against you? Instead of pushing it away, how about you pull it a liiiitle bit closer. How much? To the point there's not a glimmer of daylight. How about that instead? It sounds more fun, doesn't it?'

Or something like that. Based on the way her hands were moving.

By the time Shampoo had finished with her kata, they were already on the floor taking off their leotards.

"Shampoo can you bring me those clubs?" Akane said, not breaking eye contact with Ranma for a second. "I have some creative ideas for them."

Shampoo could only shrug. She kind of figured it would end up like this sooner or later. All she could do now was go with the flow.


<hr>

So what does it look like when someone actually serious about rhythmic gymnastics martial arts goes about their training? Well, Kodachi was in the ring at this very moment, wielding her preferred weapons. Around the ring were various markers, forming inexplicable lines and patterns in a myriad of colours.

And at various points in the ring were dummies wearing wigs that looked like Shampoo's hairstyle.

"Ohohohoho!" Kodachi laughed maniacally, and began her routine, cartwheeling forward to perfectly land on one line. A club descends and bashes in the head of one dummy, and then she leaps out, landing on another line whereupon she brings a hoop down her arm hard enough to send another dummy's head out of the ring.

She prances, she cartwheels, she flips, each time landing on a line. After a moment the pattern becomes obvious - it is a rainbow configuration, red then orange then yellow then green then blue then indigo then violet. She switches between the weapons as though flipping through the pages of a book. Each one delivering a blow that could only be called deadly.

The last dummy is decapitated and sent flying, then Kodachi turns to bow to her fellow club members, then turns around - and the dummy's head has bounced off the ropes to strike her in the face, i na way that makes it look like they were kissing.

"Gosh, I guess there is some truth to that rumour after all," one girl whispered.

"Shuch, do you want to be her sparring partner?" another whispered back.

And that's how someone who takes this sport seriously trained. You can, uh, understand why there isn't a martial arts component to gymnastics at the Olympic level now, can't you?