The final challenge had been faced and overcome. Akane pushed through into the room, ignoring the hallucinations of oiled up Ranmas offering to try her cooking or test out a martial arts technique or giving her genuine compliments or... the most surprisingly effective case, proposing to her while in girl form.
Anyway! They weren't real, and nor was the groan of pain she could hear back the way she came. It was a clear and blatant attempt to prey upon her desire to show Ranma that she could be useful. The arousal she was feeling was intense, yet artificial. She was a martial artist, she was a proud and strong girl and she would not be dissuaded so easily by -
"So, I was just gonna ask you the best way to marry Ranma, but after all that I just wanna have sex with him," said a bleary eyed, equally naked Ukyo Kuonji, who was inexplicably already standing in front of the statue.
"Ukyo!" Akane yelled, beet red and stomping over to her friend/rival. "You can't just skip straight to the honeymoon!"
After that initial outburst, Akane realised that they were both naked, had both gone through the same ordeals, and were both probably very much aware of exactly how horny the other was.
"So you caught wind of this as well?" Ukyo asked. "I guess that's typical. Shampoo will be along in a moment, probably."
Akane grunted in disgust. That would be pretty typical. "You shouldn't be trying to use it for your own satisfaction."
"Like you weren't planning on it?"
"It turns boys to stone! I wanted to keep it hidden away-"
"In your bedroom," Ukyo said. "Which Ranma occasionally checks so he can read your diary."
"That's a good p- He does what?!"
"Ahem! Pardon me for interrupting, but I sense a love triangle between the two of you and this boy Ranma." That was the statue speaking up. Oh yeah. That thing. It was kinda pretty, now that Akane was looking at it. Kind of shimmering and glowing in the darkness. Pretty much the sole source of light as far as she could tell. "Perhaps I could be of some help in resolving it?"
"I'm really not here to become your pupil -" Akane began.
"For one thing, I can teach you how to manipulate your ki to improve your appeal."
Akane was sitting in seiza position before the statue before she even knew it. A martial arts technique? If she were a puppy she'd be wagging her tail excitedly. Oh, sure, the way the statue was describing it made it seem like it probably had perverted applications, but... But it was definitely the sort of thing she wanted to learn! If she learned that kind of technique, then she could surely reverse engineer it to less perverted intentions!
"Hey, if you're learning this, then so am I!" Ukyo said.
"Hrmph, that's what I'm hoping for," Akane said. "I'll need a sparring partner that isn't an idiot, how else am I supposed to learn this?"
"I still got it..." the statue whispered to itself, then louder added "Alright girls, listen up closely. This technique will have your man eating out of your hand in no time flat!"
Well that didn't seem suspicious or manipulative at all. Hrmph! Alright then, let's get this started.
<hr>
It was the end of the school day, and Shampoo was watching like a hawk at a distance. The idea of that girl, the kitchen destroyer, finding out about that cafe and their 'special offer' irked her to no end. She was tempted to march in there during school hours to drag her out - but Ranma had told her off for wrecking the walls there before, and great grandmother had apparently been billed for it, so for this one time she'd be patient.
Better the wait than the scolding. Even if she was quite an impatient young woman.
Soon enough she saw her target. Walking with Ukyo for once, rather than Akane. The two of them were smiling, but with daggers in their eyes at each other. Also, the Kunji girl was carrying something in a big heavy looking backpack. Probably ingredients knowing her. No sign of airen. Shampoo scowled and jumped down in front of them, giving them a big friendly "Nihao!"
"Huh, three hours later than we expected," Ukyo said. She clutched her backpack tighter to herself. No doubt worried that a fight would break out, and the contents would get broken.
"What do you want, Shampoo?" Akane demanded. Hrmph! The cheek of her!
"Shampoo hear that kitchen destroyer get new job," Shampoo said, making a big show of looking directly at Akane's chest. "What matter? Not happy with size? Want to get bigger? It not fix crummy attitude, bad temper or clumsy nature. In fact, make you more clumsy than before!"
"... Am I missing something?" Ukyo asked.
"No. Just... get that home and stuff it in your closet," Akane said. "Like we agreed."
Ukyo nodded sort of like a heroic figure about to rush headlong into the jaws of death, then sprinted off down the street while carrying that backpack with her. For her part, Akane stayed there, staring Shampoo dead in the eyes. Which was a good word, one that Shampoo very much wished to use in future when describing this girl. Dead.
"If you must know, I'm going undercover to investigate the rumours," Akane said. "I think they're up to something else, and I aim to find out what that is!"
"Oh is easy to explain," Shampoo said. "They want cute girls with high turnover, make huge profit that way. No have to increase salary, is simple capitalism at work."
Akane stared at her for a long moment, doing an excellent goldfish impersonation. "No, that can't be it, it's too neat and tidy."
"And this is simple conspiracy theory thinking at work," Shampoo rolled her eyes. "Or is that just the excuse you tell self, when big boobs are actual goal? That it, yes? You jealous of Shampoo's -"
Huh, that was strange. For a moment there Akane seemed to glow with something like her usual anger, but then it settled down and - how peculiar. It was as if her plain boring school uniform had somehow become more form fitting, showing off her figure a lot more, and somehow making that figure seem more... alluring. Yet nothing had actually changed. What was that?
"If I wanted to have appeal, I could have appeal," Akane sniffed. "Don't forget, every morning for a month, scores of our top athletes here were charging me for the chance to date me, even though I kicked their faces in every single time. I don't need to flaunt it, and I don't need some stupid spell to make myself hotter!"
... Huh! You know, for just this one time Shampoo could almost see what those stupid boys were seeing. Akane was weirdly cute, even when she was cross. Bah! Then never mind that! If you're losing the argument, the best course of action was... Change the subject!
"Where is Airen, anyway?" Shampoo asked. Ah. THat got a nervous twitch out of Akane, that was something she could enjoy. "Did kitchen wrecker inflict violence upon him again? Naughty, naughty!"
"Well, no, not me..." Akane said. She began to twiddle her thumbs, and whatever that weird effect was completely evaporated. "But, well, he's sort of -"
"HI SHAMPOO! HI AKANE!" Ranma said, in girl form, rushing in to embrace them both. "Shampoo your hair smells amazing I could sniff it alllll day."
"Ahem!" Akane stomped her foot. "Ranma!"
"Hi Ryoga, we can fight later," Ranma said to Akane. Oh no, was he going blind like Mousse? "Hey, look, don't tell Akane that I said your hair smelled nice, okay? Hers smells pretty good too. I especially like it right after she's had a few hours of training. But don't tell her, it's our little secret."
Right. Okay. So, Shampoo took this into consideration and then flattened Ranma between the pavement and her mace. "What happen to Airen?" she asked.
"He's high on morphine because he got hit in his happy place after sneaking into a secret underground passage filled with deadly and arousing booby traps," Akane said in a single breath. "Luckily, the doctors said that if he spends a few hours in his cursed form, he should heal up as good as new."
Shampoo took that in. Nodded to herself. Then said "Fine, don't tell me!" and stormed off in a huff. Guh! That girl was impossible to deal with as it was, but now she's going to invent such ridiculous and crazy stories to try to scare her off?
Well, fine. Was tonight your first shift, Akane Tendo? In that case, Shampoo was going to make sure it was your last shift!
- Ukyo tries to use the statue to figure out a way to seduce Ranma.
- Akane has her first shift. Time to investigate this place.
- Ranma Saotome is high on morphine, and is being babysat by Kasumi and Nabiki. This can only go to bad places.
- Something else
No comments:
Post a Comment