Monday, 30 December 2019

Story: UY Side Effects


It's worth observing that Ryoko Mendo doesn't handle panic well. She's the kind of girl that makes others panic, she doesn't feel it herself. Such a thing is an inversion of the natural order. As such, she had to develop a coping mechanism and do it quickly. This proved to be a simple enough matter. She went to her default course of action. Tormenting her brother.

As such, she had placed some of the hypnotic potpourri on his person. It was quite devious really. She didn't even need to be there for it, his own big mouth would get him into trouble of its own accord. She'd been so happy to think of it that she hadn't even imagined Ataru Moroboshi railing her and all her friends into blissful ahegao for a whole five minutes, before that novelty wore off and the fact that it was that very same potpourri that had put her in this mess to begin with made her imagine it in vivid, vivid detail to the point she'd even forgotten about the prank to begin with.

Which is how you can tell that she was rattled. Forgetting a prank she'd set up on her brother? Oh dear, Ryoko. That really is not like you at all.

"So guys mostly talk about girls at a sleepover?" Ryuunosuke asked. "That don't make no sense. Are you sure guys mostly talk about girls at these things?"

"I'm fairly certain," Mendo said. "Alas, most boys are quite deviant in thought. At such a gathering it is easy to imagine them obsessing over the finer aspects of the fairer sex."

"Oh yeah?" Ryuunosuke asked, starting to sound interested. "What might those 'finer aspects' be?"

Her intention was as transparent as glass. It brought a smile to Mendo's face. She was digging for tips on femininity. How adorable. He took a deep breath while thinking about how to answer her question without sounding like a pig. Whatever his own intentions might be, he did have an image to maintain. An image that was superior in every way to that of Ataru Moroboshi.

"Physical appeal," Mendo said. "At those kinds of discussions, they would likely discuss a girl's bust size. The curve of her waist. The shape of her rump, she sheen of her skin, the thickness of her legs." He took another deep breath and sighed, shaking his head.

"Huh," Ryuunosuke tutted. "So if guys talk about girls that way, does that mean girls talk about guys in the same kinda way?"

Mendo wobbled a little. The thought seemed... unnatural at first. However, yes after a moment it did seem to fit. There was a ring of logic to it. He could easily imagine that girls could gush about him in private.

"I suppose they must," he mused. Again, he didn't want to come across as though he was tooting his own horn. Let her come to the conclusion on her own. "Of course, the things that women would find interesting in men would be quite different from what men find interesting in women."

The two of them were starting to get a bit glassy eyed, now. "So girls are interested in guys bodies?" Ryuunosuke muttered to herself. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"You make it sound as though girls are perverts," Mendo chuckled. Then, after a moment's thought, he added, "Though I have seen girls behave quite lustfully towards that beast that follows after Lum all the time."

Now, it's worth noting that Mendo meant Rei when he said that. However, that's not who came to Ryuunosuke's mind when he said that. The beast that follows Lum all the time? That was Atatu, surely.

“Really? What’s so impressive about that guy that chicks would swoon over <b>him?”</b>

"Well, I'm not one to comment," Mendo said through grit teeth. Talking well of others sat as well with him as a rock might in the pit of his stomach. "I suppose they are drawn to his good looks. Perhaps they believe they can satiate his bottomless pit." Woah, really? Ataru was good looking? "Though I must say, it is a relief to see that you are not one of those drawn in, like all those other women. It's quite tiring to see."

Which meant... it was really weird that she wasn't into him. Ryuunosuke stumbled a little bit. <i>In order to behave in a girly way, she had to be attracted to Ataru Moroboshi.</i> The thought settled in at the back of her mind. She still wasn't quite accepting it, though. There had to be another way to act girly. Right?

"So, if you had to pick a chick for me to look up to, you know, so I could learn how to be girly... Who would you pick?"

A wistful expression passed the rich brat's face, and he looked off into the distance. "Lum, of course. Who else could it be?"

Lum, the alien chick who went around in a tiger print bikini. Yeah, that made sense. Lum was plenty girly. No mistaking her for a boy. And yet, wasn't Lum head over heels in love with Ataru as well? Ryuunosuke gulped nervously. Maybe there was something to this?

"Well hey there! If it isn't Ryoko-sama's dorky big brother and his boyfriend!"

She felt Mendo tense up a bit there. A girl was walking over towards them, the sort that struck Ryuunosuke as a bit snobby and stuck up. The superior sort. Must get on with Mendo like a house on fire.

"Hello Tansho," Mendo tersely said to her. "What's the matter, not got a shrine to my sister to polish?"

"Not right now," Tansho said. "I think your sister was on her way towards that handsome hunk Moroboshi's place for a sleepover. Isn't that right?"

Mendo made a noise like a freshly caught fish drowning in the air. Not that Ryuunosuke was paying much attention. This girl thought he was attractive. This was validating what Mendo had been saying earlier on. As such, she was already interpreting his sputtering as frustration due to his superiority complex. Or something like that.

"You think Ataru Moroboshi is an attractive hunk?!" he eventually managed to sputter, in between what sounded a little like outraged laughter.

"Yeah..." Ryuunosuke muttered. "He is kinda hot, now you mention it."

"Oh yeah, he's a total sex god!" Tansho said, biting on the end of her index finger. Sex god? Ryuunosuke thought about how Ataru acted around women. She had figured he was just a horny bastard, but if he was like that because he could please women…

“Sex god!? I will not hear of such absurdity!” Mendo shouted.

“Yeah yeah whatever you say Shutaro. You’re not the one with a considerable number of hot babes lusting after you.” Tansho smirked, “A number that includes your own sister.”

"My own sister?" he hesitated a little and smirked. "Ah, I see how it is." he straightened himself up and chuckled. "Yes, of course. Ataru Moroboshi is a sex god. It all makes so much sense." This was sarcasm, in case you could not tell. Too bad that the mind affecting chemicals currently radiating from him didn’t take something like sarcasm into account. "Yes, yes, I'll let my little sister have her fun at Moroboshi's expense. I'll let her have all the fun she wants! Hahahaha!"

Naturally, he was under the impression this was yet another prank. However, these two girls under the power of suggestibility had come to quite different conclusions.

"S-So, what exactly does a girl do with a handsome hunk of man meat like Ataru Moroboshi?" Ryuunosuke asked, feeling really weird in the pit of her stomach all of a sudden.

"Oh, wait. You're not a boy. You're that Fujinami..." Tansho suddenly realised, then a devious grin crept onto her face and she pushed her way in between Ryuunosuke and Mendo (who was still laughing like an idiot and not really paying attention anymore), then gently guided the pair of them down the street.

"Pretty girls like you and me, we have to accept that sex gods can't ever be satisfied with just one woman," Tansho said. "Even one as wonderful as Ryoko can't hope to keep up."

There was a logic to that. If one's mind was being hit by a suggestibility spell.

"So, what. You gotta share him with other chicks?" Ryuunosuke pondered.

"You know, that's quite a novel idea," Tansho said. She blew in Ryuunosuke's ear. "I guess we could call it a harem. The harem of a sex god. And all a girl has to do to join, is saying that a harem is fine too."

"How amazing! How stupendous! How fantastical!" Mendo finally was able to speak again (read: oh shit he can talk again) after his unrelenting guffaws. "If Ataru Moroboshi is a sex god, then I'm -"

He really should be more careful about what he says. Especially when he's a lot more susceptible than normal...


  1. Mendo says something ridiculous.
  2. Mendo accidentally says something that's true, reinforcing Ataru's status as a sex god.
  3. Tansho(or Ryuunosuke) interrupts before he finishes, and then Tansho deliberately reinforces whatever was suggested.
  4. The three arrive at the Moroboshi place  and the sleepover formally starts.
  5. Something else

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