It's worth repeating that I've seen quite a lot of strange things in my time. Truly absurd, things that defy common sense to the extreme. However, they don't tend towards the pornographic. Sure, when I first met her, Haruhi would just start stripping in front of me, but at least she had stopped doing that by now. The most titillation I normally had to deal with was the secret picture stash I had saved on the club computer.
I certainly never before had to deal with an pair of sex-bombs that started doing the horizontal tango in our club-room without the slightest hint of shame. Oh, and start trying to seduce me, Asahina and Yuki. Yes. All three of us at once.
“I ahh.. think ahhh.. We are far enough.. Ahhh..ahh...way..” Mikuru said, having to pause and hold her sides. Poor Asahina just didn’t have the stamina, I was tempted to try steady her but.. The way her now rather enlarged chest as she breathed heavily was... distracting. Damn these were big, and she had been damned <i>talented</i> before this meeting too!
Then I felt a small tug on my sleeve. Yuki trying to get my attention.
"Your physique has also changed," Yuki noted, her hand slipping inside my uniform. She was standing really quite close, close enough that my arm was brushing up against her breasts. It seemed as though she had changed a little as well. "Muscle mass has increased by 5%."
"Y-yes, I think you've also changed a little too..." I stammered out. Oops, hadn't meant to say that.
"I will now inject nanites to protect you from further alteration," Yuki said, grabbing hold of my finger and... sucking on it. Which was a bit strange as I was expecting her to bite my finger to inject the nanites.
"Uh, Yuki?" I asked, and then she grabbed hold of my wrist and - there's not really any other way to describe it, she was fellating my finger. Bobbing her head back and forth, swirling her tongue around it, and all the while maintaining a steady unblinking eye contact. "The nanites?"
"Y-Yuki! Cut that out!" Asahina suddenly interrupted, pushing the alien away. "D-don't hog his finger, let me have some of it too."
For some reason I had expected miss Asahina to have a different reason to tell our resident alien off. Even with my head feeling a bit dizzy, it was odd to see the normally so very shy redhead pulled away my hand. Which made Yuki release a popping sound as the finger slipped out of her mouth. And then, as soon as Mikuru tried to bring the finger that was just in the bluenette’s mouth to her own, Nagato grabbed it and pulled it back..
You know, I had always wondered how it would be to have girls fighting over me. What straight man hasn’t after all? That said.. This was kinda eerie considering neither girl would normally do something like this.
"Your behaviour is being affected by, like, this bizarre effect," Yuki said. Like? Had she slipped a 'like' in there without meaning to? Her expression was as neutral as ever, and there wasn't anything different about her tone. Still, that was strange to hear.
"Uh uh! If mine is, then so is yours!" Asahina protested.
"You are in greater need of nanites to protect you," Yuki said. "I will now, like, inject you with a whole lot of them."
'A whole lot of them' sounded much less like Yuki than slipping in the word 'like'. She should've used bigger words than that normally. She also would not have grabbed hold of Asahina and frenched her right there in the corridor. Nor would Asahina just stand there and take it.
"Hot," I said. Then shook my head. No, no. That was this... whatever it was talking. I mean, it was totally hot. Definitely, but I should not be giving in quite that easily.
I had to get my mind out of the gutter and focus on the important question of how to fix everyone.. Perhaps I could.. Ehh.. find.. Emiri Kimidori! Yes, she was also an alien and not affected, so she would like, fix the problem instead of just sticking her tongue down the girl’s throats.
Also she was kind of cute too. Not as cute as Yuki but - No, bad! Stop that, cut it out!
"Yoink!"
"Yoink?" I repeated moments before finding myself getting hauled into a room.
There was a very confusing rush of movements as a very strong and muscular pair of arms held me up and carried me away. What I saw more of was the still mostly naked woman who closed the door I had just been pulled through. Immediately, I was being carried away into a different room and on we went, probably to make sure that Nagato couldn’t get me back right away..
"Rude, running away while we're introducing ourselves," the absolute knockout babe said, her arms folded in front of her ample chest. "Keitaro, you've not been teaching this guy manners have you?"
"Nuh uh," the muscle bound hunk said. "I mean, you've not punted him into the horizon yet, have you?"
"That's true," the babe tittered. "So, like, hi. I'm Naru and this manmeat is my Keitaro."
“Ehh.. hi?” I answered, not sure what to do. Scream maybe? I was somewhat worried about how they would deal with me calling for help given their.. Lack of shame. I didn’t want either of them to stick their tongue down <i>my throat</i>. No matter how.. Distracting Naru’s chest was.
"Pervert," she sniffed, playfully striking my chest and then giggling. "You shouldn't, like, stare at a girl's rack. No matter how amazing or naked it is. Right Keitaro?"
Keitaro was staring at Naru's boobs. "Huh? Sorry, what was that?" This resulted in him getting playfully slapped across the room, which he bounced around like a pinball before winding up in her arms, somehow dipping her and kissing her in a single smooth movement after all of that.
"Hot," I said, then pinched myself. "Wait, how did you get out of Yuki's restraints?"
As if in answer my ankle was nudged by what I initially thought was a puppy. Until I saw it was made of writhing tentacle matter. Its black eyes were like an endless abyss that stretched into infinity. Not infinitely large, infinitely small, and it felt as though if I looked deeply enough I would ultimately find myself staring back, screaming.
Then it cutely yipped and panted like a regular little pupper. A tentacle pet dog. Somehow they had turned this manifestation of... Whatever it is Yuki uses to make that stuff into a cute tentacle pet dog with eyes out of a Lovecraftian tale.
"So, like, you've got a couple of really cute girls interested in you right?" Keitaro said after coming up for air. "A cute and busty shy redhead, and a petite emotionless cutie."
"Mmm, you really gotta choose between them, you know," Naru tittered. "If you don't pick then it'll only hurt them both."
"Plus when you do get to pick, you'll get to have lots of amazing sex!" Keitaro added. "Trust me, I know from experience."
“And like, when you got a main-girl, you can make the other one a sex-friend. Threesomes are awesome!” Naru added, making me do a double take because for all the perversion I hadn’t expected this.
"Hello? Is someone in here?" a familiar voice called out. Before I could do anything about it a girl walked in. Luckily not Haruhi. Naruzaki, from the art club. She's not really all that important in the grand scheme of things, more like a background character. Long brown hair in twintails and wearing a large pair of glasses, which made her look even more like a bookworm than Nagato. "Oh my goodness, what is happening here?"
"Aww, aren't you a cute little thing," Naru said, skipping over next to the girl, and patting her on the head. "Such a sweety, isn't she Keitaro?"
"Yeah, but she'd look way hotter as a bimbo. Though not nearly as hot as you."
It turned out that wasn't as much of a hypothetical as expected ,because Naruzaki's eyes glazed over, and before I knew it, her brown hair had turned platinum blonde and her boobs were the size of cannon balls. As an odd, extra, her glasses had turned into some kind of heart-shaped sunglasses that only added to the sex slutty idiot theme that was apparently going on here.
Wait, hold on a second. Why did she get corrupted that quickly when I was still fairly intelligent? Actually, while my thought process does feel a little more geared towards arousal, my general thinking is still kind of a fair bit higher than Naruzaki's right now as she inspected her new body.
“Wooow.. My titties are so big..!” The girl said, groping said chest throughout her uniform which was by the way far too small and thus was just kind of not covering half of her chest. Good lord that was a lot of cleavage..
Well, there's one easy answer: Nagato was able to inject me with nanites and - gosh, Naru would look phenomenal if she only wore her hair in a pigtail - And the nanites were delaying the stupidification effect. Or maybe it was Haruhi's subconscious will somehow protecting me in some way?
Either way, I had to get out of here pronto. The protection might not be perfect, especially since Nagato herself seemed to be succumbing to it somewhat. So I made for the door and then -
"Gangway! This room is now a quarantine zone, under order of the SOS Brigade! Oh, hi Kyon! Quickly, get into this hazmat suit that I kept for just this kind of emergency!"
"You kept a hazmat suit in case of an outbreak of contagious bimboism?" I yelled at the impossibly frustrating girl wearing a hazmat suit that was now standing in front of me.
"Well, yeah. I may have accidentally found and read the entirety of one of your friend's hentai magazines, so... never mind that! Get into the hazmat suit while you're still capable of not leering at those -"
And then Haruhi was across the room, groping Naru from behind.
"This, this is just all kinds of unfair," she said. Shamelessly groping the girl in much the same way she would Asahina. "Don't you dare stare at this, Kyon! I'm keeping her covered up so that you don't perv all over her and become a himbo yourself!"
All I could do was put my head in my hands and let out a weary sigh. Which is when I noticed a few things. Firstly, my shirt was open, and on looking down I could see a very ,very well defined six pack. Secondly, my junk was extremely prominent in my trousers. There was no hiding that monster. Thirdly... I could still think clearly. I was probably around about the same general level of bodybuilder physique as Keitaro at this point... but I could still think clearly, still have lucid thinking about things other than sex.
Which was kind of weird. My intelligence was fine, but my body was that of a himbo? That was really strange. Why was my mind safe, while my body was not? If I didn't know any better it would be because Haruhi subconsciously wanted me to have that super fit body while retaining the same general personality, but that would be ridiculous.
Why on Earth would that girl want something like that?
- More immediate problem. Haruhi knows about the bimbo outbreak and wants to experiment.
- Haruhi tries to gather the SOS Brigade to investigate, but this is proving tricky as two of their members are going full bimbo.
- Haruhi quarantines herself and Kyon, but it turns out this was just a ruse so she can finally get laid.
- Meanwhile, the Love Hina cast are trying to find out what happened with Naru and Keitaro.
- Something else
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