Some people used counting sheep as a means to help them get to sleep. It probably works by distracting the brain from whatever's keeping it awake, or something like that. By that same measure, Shinji had decided to distract his own brain by counting things. Unfortunately, and counter intuitively, the things he'd decided to count were 'the things that are freaking me out a bit right now'.
Let’s start, first he had gotten a letter from his father after being abandoned years ago. The sole message in there? “Come here” That had been bad, but nothing compared to when he met Misato and things started to get ridiculous. First there was the giant monster attacking the city, then soldiers form nowhere and then -
“Open up wide!♥” One of Rei’s sisters, who were all still wearing white bunny suits, said while feeding him some kind of vegetable soup. He had no idea why these girls were enjoying this so much given they were total strangers. Meanwhile, the pretty redhead in the background (his future girlfriend?) was giving him the stink eye.
And then there was the weird white-haired guy who had appeared from nowhere and sat down in a chair to talk about why the time-space-continuum had gone bonkers?
Oh, and that wasn’t going into his future self being some kind of chick magnet who had the future version of the earlier mentioned pretty redhead all but eating out of his hand!
"Pervert," the pretty redhead said, which wasn't entirely a good sign of their future relationship.
“Ah, Master Ikari would you like a massage?” Another of the identical girls asked, appearing behind him and pushing her huge breasts into the back of his head. The redhead’s glare immediately gained in intensity. "How about you, Lady Sohryu?"
"Hands off," 'Lady Sohryu' slapped her hands away and turned her attention back towards Shinji. "Alright, buster. I want an explanation for all- oooh yeah, that's the good stuff..."
It turns out the blue haired maids weren't taking no for an answer on that massage thing. The redhead practically melted into her the second those slender pale hands hit her shoulder blades.
"Asuka Langley-Sohryu," the maid behind her said, kissing the nape of Asuka's neck. "The future version of you received a bust improvement," the maid said. "Would you like one as well?"
"Sure, why not - Wait, run that by me again?"
The word 'boing' sprung to mind pretty much immediately. Shinji's jaw dropped further than he thought it could, because out of nowhere Asuka went from a slender beauty to a top heavy goddess. His sense of awe was helped by the fact that her bunny-suit did not adjust to the change, causing her growing breasts to plop out like a pair of ripe fruits falling off a tree.
"H-Hey, what's the big idea!" he protested. It felt like he was shouting into the dark.
"We are going to make you happy," the bluette bunny maids all said as one. "According to Maslowe's Hierarchy of Needs, one of the basic, foundational requirements is sexual fulfillment."
“Who the heck taught you that?” Asuka said, struggling to put her now far too big breasts inside the bunny suit. “Pervert boy ogling me, pervert girls transforming breasts, what next?” She all but shouted in frustration.
At which point, Shinji noticed one of the bunny maids pulling out a magazine that looked quite familiar. Except. Wasn’t this the <i>book</i> one of his classmates from back home had lent him? The one with the <i>interesting</i> pictures of <i>attractive</i> and <i>healthy</i> young women? The book that <i>should</i> be hidden in his room back at home in his top secret hidey hole way at the back of his closet sandwiched in between two innocent looking folders?
“Mistress is going to use this to improve things for Master Shinji♥” The girl said, not the slightest hint of shame on her face as she opened the book to reveal an image of.. ah that was the nude swimming scene..
“Huh, interesting I hadn’t considered something like that.” The newcomer said, what was his name again? Kaworu or something like that. “How is this going to work?”
“Ah!” The girl turned left and right, before putting a single raised finger in front of her mouth in a hushing sign. “Let’s just say, Mistress is looking at making Master’s future school life much more fun!”
"C-Could you please help us out of here?" Shinji asked Kaworu. Little realising that he was tapping into the Angel's one singular weakness: Shinji Akari moe. "Please?"
"... oh, fine. If I must," Kaworu tutted. He lifted his hand, and all of the blue haired girls swarmed around, creating a barrier in between him and Kaworu, some of them hugging him protectively.
“Ehhh.. girls?” Shinji questioned, not sure what to do when surrounded on all sides by soft and enticing body parts. Hell, he barely knew where to look, much less what to touch.
"Taking you back to reality before it is prepared is bad," the girl closest to him said.
“Hey, stop ignoring me! And fix this damn outfit, they keep spilling out.” Asuka all but screamed, moving closer to Shinji and the pile of Rei around him. “And hey pervert, you better don’t think I have forgotten about you staring earlier. I am so getting back at you for this once we are out of this.. This weird place.”
"Then might I suggest chapter ten in that pornography material?" Kaworu said. Not helping! He smiled gently, and Shinji felt his heart skip a beat. "I think that would be much more to Shinji's liking."
"W-wait, don't listen to -"
But it was too late. The girl with the book had turned to that page already, and all of a sudden every single girl in this pocket dimension was suddenly wearing an extremely tight black leather catsuit. Hugging every inch of their curves, covering every little bit yet also leaving nothing to the imagination. That contradiction, for some reason it really got his engine going.
"Oh, what in the -" Asuka began to complain. Then Kaworu snapped his fingers, and her catsuit turned red.
"Sorry, couldn't resist," he said. "Now Rei, are you going to allow Shinji and Asuka to leave? We can hardly keep the two of them here forever, you know."
"Yes, this is acceptable," all the Reis said as one.
And then, out of nowhere... he was sitting in a classroom full of students. Shinji looked around. All the girls were wearing catsuits. Over in the corner, he could see Rei staring out of a window. Of note, she was wearing a white catsuit with black markings around her hips and breasts, as if trying to draw attention to them.
"Hey buddy!" an unfamiliar voice said. A boy wearing a tracksuit. "You know, you should not stare so hard at Ayanami, your girlfriend might get jealous."
"Well, not that you could blame him. I could stare at her waist and her thi~ighs for hours at a time!" another boy added. This one wearing glasses. "Ah, here's your girlfriend now."
"Wh-what's going on now? Where are we?" Asuka asked, spinning around and looking at everyone else in the room. "What kind of stupid school uniform is that meant to be?!"
"Hey Asuka!" the glasses wearing boy said. "Wanna say hello to your boyfriend?"
"He is not my boy frie- ahhhhh" Asuka grunted, her body reacting in a really weird way as soon as she turned to look at him. Then she stumbled forward, as though fighting her own body, and promptly sat in Shinji's lap.
"H-hey, what are you doing?" Shinji yelped.
"That's what I'd like to know, pervert!" Asuka hissed, while also rubbing her butt right into his crotch. "You like this, don't you? I bet you're getting off on this, you - Ugh... What's wrong with me all of a sudden...?"
No time for that. Kaworu had just entered the classroom. Oh, thank goodness! He might be able to get them out of -
"Now class, it's time for us to begin our lesson on sexual education," Kaworu smiled. Never mind then. The traitor had joined the screwing with Shinji’s sense of reality club apparently.
<hr>
So. That was sex. Huh! It was nice. For once in his life he'd let down his guard, and... Now he had Asuka lying next to him, her head resting on his chest. And her chest pressed into his side.
"There we go!" she sniffed. "You see? Get rid of that lack of spine, and you're much more of a man!"
He sure was. Shinji wasn't sure he'd be able to stop smiling ever again with the way he was feeling right now. Still though... "We do need to get out of here," he said. "Something weird is going on out there, and I'm worried another Angel might show up." Or that this might be yet another Angel attacking them.
"Hi!" a Rei said. "Come with! We have your happiness together all sorted out!"
Before either of them could say anything, she grabbed a hold of both of them and pulled them through a tear in reality.
- Back to present Shinji’s confusing new class on sexual education.
- Future Shinji and Future Asuka find themselves in a similar classroom.
- Future Shinji and Future Asuka find themselves back in the Geofront.
- The Misatos are still trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
- Something else
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