Story: Authority Badge

If anyone had told him he'd be sitting in the middle of class with Lum in his lap and her tongue down his throat and nobody would raise a peep, he'd be asking you at what point he'd wound up in one of Lum's dreams.

If you told him that he’d be doing it in front of Onsen Mark he’d ask what nightmare he had wound up in. But hey. It sure didn't feel like a nightmare. Didn't feel like a dream either. It felt like the start of a very good day. Until the Responsibility of the badge took hold of his will and make him take his duties seriously, he could sit here all day and smooch his hot alien... not girlfriend, not fiance... Uh, sex friend?

Yes. Sex Friend. That was it. They were friends who liked having sex. That was totally something that he was willing to get involved with. In fact, it was really helping him get into this. Giving him further encouragement to hold her closer, let his hands wander until one was resting on the back of her head while the other went down, down until it had a nice firm grip of her nice firm Oni butt.

It was funny. Ataru didn't usually care much for spicy food. But of late it was starting to grow on him.

Alas, it could not last forever. Eventually she did have to pull away.

"Is everything to your liking, inspector?" Lum asked, her voice smoothly sliding into his ears and down to his lower body to make it rise.

"A further inspection is needed," Ataru said. He made sure to give her butt a nice squeeze that made her purr like a kitten."I'll schedule you in for later."

Now, if Ataru wasn't so lust addled that he was thinking clearly - a statement which applies to ninety percent of his awake time (with a rounding error of ten percent) he might have thought her reaction was a little bit strange right now. But hey. You try thinking clearly when the hot, hot girl you're feeling extreme levels of repressed attraction and affection towards (and have recently started banging) is sitting in your lap post make out.

That was complicated, but trust me it does make sense. Much like it made sense for Ataru to extract Lum from his lap so he could resume having a different sort of fun. You can only eat ice cream for so long before you crave something savoury or salty.

His only regret was that Mendo wasn't around. It would have been tremendous fun exploiting authority over him. Alas, he could settle for his... Fourth? Fifth? Most irritating enemy. Though Onsen Mark was already cowed, best to get his kicks in before 'responsibility' made him behave himself.

"Miyake! It's not like you to pay attention!" Onsen Mark said, throwing a piece of chalk directly at Shinobu. Well now. Normally he'd have to sit there and take it (hah, yeah right), but this time around... Ataru picked up a notebook and stood right inside Onsen Mark's personal space while scribbling away any old nonsense. "Well, er, ahem... Cough, cough! Settle down and focus on your work!"

"You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar..." Ataru tsked. "Well, that cliche isn't quite true, in a literal sense flies tend to be more drawn to the smell of vinegar than honey, but you get my point."

"Well, if you're too soft on the students they'll slack off," Onsen Mark said. Politely, smarmy, sucking up.

"If you throw chalk at them they'll wind up resenting you."

"Ah, but that's for the slapstick!" Onsen Mark protested.

Ataru quirked an eyebrow and wrote more in his notebook while maintaining eye contact with the teacher. "Justifies... abuse... by breaking the fourth wall..." he muttered just loud enough for him to hear.

Ahahaha, now he was panicking. It was really hard for him to keep a straight face, what fun! Now, let's see. Maybe he could adjust this aggressive ogre's teaching style to something a little more class friendly?

"What you need is a pair of good looking teacher's assistants to help you out," Ataru suggested. "Hrm... Fujinami. Miyake. Why don't you stand here by the front desk?"

“Why us!?” Ryuunosuke said.

“Well Miyake is top student in the class and you’re the most popular student overall, both men and women are quite interested in what you have to say Fujinami.”

For once in his life Ataru had enough tact to not add "especially dressed like that" to the end of his observation, because these two girls looked absolutely stunning in their modified uniforms. They looked less like students and more like they were heading out on a hot date.

"S-So what do these teacher's assistants do exactly?" Onsen Mark nervously asked.

“It’s simple Mr. Onsen, while you write the assignments and prepare the lessons, your TAs will pass them out, answer any questions, and help you grade them before they have to go home in lieu of after school clean up.” Ataru nodded, “Also they’ll be the buffer between you and the class. If somebody’s not paying attention, it’s their job to gently remind them to pay attention.” AKA: Use those sexy outfits to incentivise people to actually notice the lesson


"What do we get out of this..." Ryuunosuke grumbled.

"Oh, I'm sure the school will make a record of it on your file," Ataru said. "It'll come across quite well for your future career prospects."

"... Isn't Ryuunosuke just going to inherit her dad's shop?" Shinobu asked.

"And, of course, I’m sure we can arrange some scholarships so you don’t have to rely on your family to get to a good College…”

“I could go to a school without my old man on my back…?!?!”

Amazing what a little authority could get you. In one fell swoop he'd managed to annoy Onsen Mark, get Shinobu and Ryuunosuke to walk around the classroom in their new uniforms to flirt and give eye-candy to the rest of the class, and he'd even made Ryuunosuke smile. She was really pretty when she smiled. It wasn't as nice as Lum's smile, which he could tell because she was hovering over his desk beaming at him, but it was still a rare and special sight.

"Darling, that's so thoughtful of you, helping out the three of them like that," Lum whispered. "I'm going to rock your universe tonight, just you wait."

<hr>

At the very best of times Ran could be described as a bit unstable. Volatile. A walking talking powder keg with the cutest face and big doe eyes. And fangs that stayed hidden until she exploded with anger.

Li'l Ran was currently a festering, doll like pile of pent up sexual frustration. For years. She had been pining. Over the most handsome boy in the Galaxy, who was also the stupidest sentient being on two legs. A boy who was obsessed with food, while having a face that accidentally made every woman's panties moist the moment they saw him. Except the only thing a woman would have eaten if she got wet for him was her lunch.

So. Yeah. Toss that on top of her mommy issues, and you have a  veritable powder keg. Not helped by certain revelations about her <i>other</i> sexual interests. As prompted by - of all people - Shinobu.

"This had better go well," Ran said, all smiles and flowery aura. Note that everyone in front of her was clearing a path as if Moses had walked up to the Red Sea. "Rei had better take action if he knows what's good for him! My new seduction technique can't fail, I'll eat him alive!"

Five minutes later Ran’s mind was showing her worst nightmare, as she fought her way out of his beast form's wide gaping maw.

"Nooo, Rei! I'm not the sweet treat that you should eat!" Ran cried.

"Ran sweet! Ran make Rei feel good!" Rei said.

"Nooooo!" Ran yelled, and the nightmare went 'pop' leaving her freaking out in the middle of the school corridor. Fangs bared, eyes wild and wide, hair frazzled. "There really is no other way, is there?! I'll have to go along with Lum's stupid plan to help her seduce her Darling! It's the only way I'll ever get off, ever ever ever!"

"... I sense some rather intense sexual tension," a familiar voice said, and suddenly Ran felt a hand fall upon her shoulder. Looking up, she saw the school nurse. Sakura. Ran knew Sakura was a rather beautiful woman but seeing her in a uniform made her just a little bit gayer. It looked like she'd gone for the evening gown themed design, and my goodness but that was a whole lot of thigh. "Miss Ran, I must insist that you come with me. It would be quite improper for a cute maid like yourself to wander around in such a state."

Normally Ran would tell her to stick it where the sun didn't shine. Or cutely deny there was a problem. Or maybe even kiss her. Kiss her lips and drain her energy... Maybe enjoy it a little first too. Sakura was really pretty.

However, this uniform was the maid uniform. In the face of a direct order like that, all she could do was cutely curtsey and say "Right away miss," and follow after Sakura like a lost puppy. Actually, she put it like that but... look at that figure! It really wasn't fair. That body, fitting into that dress. Ugh, maybe it had made her more gay than she'd thought.

"Lie down on this bed," Sakura said, which Ran did, and then Sakura lay down next to her.

"Now then," Sakura said while twirling with a stray strand of Ran's hair. "My diagnosis. A severe build up of frustration, probably caused by a poor boyfriend.” Her hand stroked Ran’s cheek.

“He’ll eat me if I try anything.” Ran said in a distant voice.

"That's lucky, most boys won't eat a girl out."

"Not like that!" Ran yelped, sitting bolt upright only to be gently pushed back down. "Ah, please forgive my outburst miss Sakura, I didn't mean to."

Well, she had meant to. That was this uniform talking again. Around a mature adult authority figure who was also sexy as hell it was like the uniform’s submissive tendencies were going into overdrive.

“Do you have any other methods of release?” Sakura asked.

“Um, well, going to be doing… a thing… with Lum and Darling this weekend.”

Sakura patted Ran on the chest, “That’s far too late for how pent up you are.”

"Uwaaah!" Ran yelled, then the maid uniform took hold and forced her to calm down. "Wh-what are you proposing, Miss Sakura?"

"Tell me about your other fantasies," Sakura ordered. "And then - except for eating you - I shall endeavour to satisfy them... personally."

"... yay!" Ran quietly cheered. Yep, no question of it. That body and that dress had awakened something in her that was long since dormant. If only she was wearing... "Actually... You wouldn't happen to have a tiger print bikini and gogo boots lying around would you?"

<hr>

Shinobu’s head suddenly shot up, and both herself and Ataru found themselves staring at a wall. “What…?” Shinobu muttered. It was like… something really fucking hot had just happened, and she had missed it.

“Darling? What’s over there?” Lum said.

“I think that’s where the Nurse’s office is.” Ataru said.

Weird. Shinobu wondered what Miss Sakura was doing. Oh well, never mind. It probably wasn't all that important. Especially since she had to figure out this teacher's assistant thing on top of everything else.

1. Sakura gives Ran the therapy she needs.
2. ….and she does have the bikini and Go Go Boots
3. The badge pulls Ataru into more Teacher Inspectors, fun time is over it seems
4. It's been too long since Mendo has been bullied.
5. Something else