Story: Ryunosuke Alone

Ran felt like the devil sitting on someone's shoulder tempting them to have fun. Sneaking around this party, watching her target grinding all up into that hotness. She could feel it, taste it in the air. There was an edge, and Shinobu was teetering right on it. A little nudge, a slight breeze, and then she'd topple right on over into Ryuunosuke's stupid hot body. This needed subtly. It needed finesse. It needed her to be extremely careful in how she handled this.

"Oops, I tripped!"

'Trip', stumble, shove nad into the subspace trap door they go. Elsewhere Lum managed to miss the notice that her credit card had been charged for a room at Luna Romantica because she was too busy making babies with her Darling. The system works.

"Hey, watch where you're -" Ryuunosuke yelled, turning around to give the clumsy idiot that pushed them a piece of her mind. Instead of a piece of her ass, which Ran would much prefer. However, by the time she had turned around Ran was already in the Peephole Closet ready to enact more naughty mischief. "Huh, where the hell did we wind up?"

"Ryu! Look! Look! I've never seen a bed like this!"

Ugh, that's right, humans hadn't invented anti-gravity beds yet. How had they not completely ruined their backs by now? Well, in any event, Ran hadn't just rushed in here willy nilly. Oh no. She'd had the foresight to grab the remote for all the gizmos and gadgets in the room first!

As such, time for a little bit of romantic music. Got to set the mood after all. A tap of the remote, and the room was full of the latest romantic chart topper across the galaxy, 'You draw me to you like a black hole'. Ah, so sweet! So romantic, so -

"Ack! That noise!"

"It's like someone's using my soul as a fiddle while my ears are being flossed!"

Oh right. Human ears can’t hear the particular musical notes that made this tune such hit. Gosh, it must sound worse than that one time Rei accidentally ate a diamond mountain. She should really turn this off -

Except... now the two of them were sitting on the bed holding onto each other for dear sweet life. Hrm. Nah, as much as this would increase their proximity, it wasn't doing anything for their sex drive. Better switch it off. Try something else.

"Ugh, what was that?" Ryuunosuke asked. "It was like a banshee or somthing."
"A banshee?" Shinobu wailed, cuddling closer into Ryuunosuke. Kukuku! Just as planned! Ignore the part where she thought the music sounded really romantic and sweet. "Oh no, how dreadful!" Kuku! Look at Ryuunosuke, protectively holding onto her. So sweet, it was like something out of a romantic novel cover.

Well. Ryuunosuke's shirt wasn't open. More's the pity. Let's continue setting the mood. First we turn down the lights -

"Ack! The banshee is turning the lights off!"

"Stay behind me, Shinobu! I'll protect you!"

Then give them some chocolates and champagne. The table next to the bed opened up, and a tray popped right out of the hole.

"Don't touch that food! That's how the evil spirits get you!"

"But Shinobu! It looks so tasty!"

And as a final touch, set the anti-gravity bed to gently vibrate, which would surely put them both in the mood to fuck each other raw while Ran secretly watched from the closet.

Or, just as an alternative outcome, Ryuunosuke could grab hold of the champagne bottle and wield it like a makeshift weapon while Shinobu cried and hung onto Ryuunosuke's back. This was not going the way that Ran was expecting. What was with these girls, ignoring her efforts to set a romantic mood for them! There was nothing else for it, she'd have to pull out all the stops this time!

Which meant dousing them with a little dose of rosewater, sprayed gently into the room from the ceiling.

"Eek! Something wet squirted down my back!" Shinobu yelled, grabbing a lamp and hucking it at the ceiling hard enough that it caused a dent in the lights, and then plunged the room into complete darkness. Which shouldn't be possible given what that was made of, but <i>there you go!</i>

"Oh for <b>fuck's sake!</b>!" Ran yelled, repeatedly hitting the rosewater button in her frustration. "Just fucking fuck already! FUCK!"

"It's an obscene banshee, and it sounds <i>pissed</i>!" Shinobu screamed. "Ryuunosuke, save me!"

"Ack! Gack! Y-you got a hold of my throat there, Shinobu!"

Ran kicked the closet door open, which was impressive because it didn't have hinges. Then she stomped right on across the pitch black room with eyes spitting fire, grabbed hold of the first face she saw and smooched everloving shit out of it until whoever it was toppled back onto the bed. Not because of the ferocity of the kiss - though that was certainly a factor - but more because Ran had just fed all of her pent up energy right into that person and was only now realising that she was within arm's reach when a pair of powerful arms grabbed hold of her body and -

The 'uh oh' that went through her mind was the most 'yay' 'uh oh' in recorded history.

All of a sudden Ran found herself flipped over and pinned under the weight of two girls.

"Ran, huh?" Ryuunosuke's voice asked, sounding husky and hot in the pitch black. "I recognised your taste."

"Hi Ryu! Fancy meeting you here!" Ran sighed, not really having the energy to be as angry as she was a moment ago anymore. "Shinobu, you too! Teehee!"

"Ran, be careful there's a banshee somewhere messing with us," Shinobu said. "It's been dumping this funny smelling water on us too."

"Oh, that would be rose-water," Ran explained. "It's extracted from a plant that grows on Venus."

"Ain't Venus got a surface temperature of 864 degrees Fahrenheit and an atmosphere generally inimical to life as we know it?" Ryuunosuke asked.

“Only after the Venuseans got tired of salesman knocking on their planets door and slipped the real Venus into Subspace and dragged a planet from Hell over into their place.” Ran batted her eyelashes at them, even though they wouldn't be able to see her very clearly right now. "Ah, rosewater is well known for setting the mood throughout the galaxy, it's their biggest export. It gets aliens across the cosmos in the mood pretty easily. Though you do have to be very careful not to use it on certain low technology worlds, as a small amount of it can easily turn more primitive, weaker willed sentient beings, like humans, into -"

Ran finished the thought in her head. Then did some maths in her head. She actually managed to finish before her dress was ripped from her body and a pair of lips ravenously smooched any bare flesh they could find.

"T-Total nymphomaniacs for up to an hour!" Ran finished, genuinely wishing she'd had this realisation before hammering that button. "Oh crud, these rooms have time dilation effects! We could spend a year here and nobody would ever know!"

It's the age old lesson that nobody ever heeds until it's too late. Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it. Then you might get it again. And again. And again...

1. Lesbian threesome, ho!
2. Skip to the end of the date where Shinobu is trying to deal with what just happened.
3. Lum and Ataru have a night of passion. How does that go?
4. Lum and Ataru try to have a night of passion but they keep getting interrupted right when it gets to the good part.
5. Something else