Deep underground there was a cave as large as a city. Within, it teemed with life. Not wild animals, but not plants either. There were hordes of them, monsters gathered together and lined up with the largest and most dangerous to the front. Beholders, ogres, liches. As you go back and back along the lines the monsters become weaker and weaker. Gorgons, rock golems, minotaurs, centaurs, orcs, lizardmen, goblins, spectres, slimes, zombies, and and so many more, a diverse group of monsters all cheering out one name.
"Glorious Crimson! Glorious Crimson! Glorious Crimson!"
As if summoned by their chanting he appeared at the head of the assembly, swooping in from seemingly nowhere and then massively expanding his size so that he was larger than every other monster present put together. The monsters cheered at his appearance: Lord Glorious Crimson, Master of the Dread Crypt of Atoom! A dragon redder than freshly spilled blood.
He held up a claw, and the assembly bowed down. "Please my friends! Your adoration is appreciated, but - " He hesitated a moment. "Very well, I sense you have a little more to release from your system. Please continue."
And so they did while he lifted his head up high and puffed out his scaly chest. A full minute later and he lifted his claw again, bringing about an absolute silence from his fellows.
"My beloved minions, your kindness and loyalty is a great treasure," the mighty dragon's voice boomed out. "Almost as great a treasure as that which we protect in the deepest part of this crypt!"
He brought back a wing, revealing a portal to his treasure room at a still lower level. The gold, jewels and other treasures glimmered and glittered so brightly that the monsters couldn't help but ooh and ahh in total reverence.
"We must be vigilant to ensure that no human passes by our traps!" the dragon roared, banishing the portal. "They are sneaky! They are devious! They consume resources like no other! Have no mercy on any human who dares trespass! That is all. Return to your posts."
And so the monsters began to file out one by one, chattering away in total reverence.
"Except for Razz the Goblin. She is to remain a little longer. All others are to depart at once!"
The monsters parted like the red sea around the young girl goblin. It was as though they had all heard at once that she had an infectious disease and were making the effort to distance themselves from her. She shuffled off towards the dragon, while everyone else made great haste. By the time she was at the front of the room, with this dragon towering over her, everyone else had left.
"Razz the goblin," the dragon said, leaning its head down to her level so that it could look her in the eye. There was a moment of dreadful silence as the two of them looked at each other. Dragon to goblin. The disparity in strength was clear even at a glance. It was as if, the dragon could blink at the wrong time and accidentally crush her beneath his eyelash. Then the dragon's voice echoed out around this now nearly empty chamber.
"Did I look cool, honeybun?"
To this, Razz the goblin sighed wearly and stroked the dragon on the cheek. "Yes, yes. Your practise really paid off dear."
"R-really?"
"Yes, really," Razz reassured, leaning in to kiss the dragon in between its nostrils. Not a hard feat, considering that she could easily climb inside. "Now, don't be silly and shrink back down before you accidentally inhale me."
"Ehhhh! I could never do thaaaaat!" the dragon whined, stomping its foot even as its size shrunk down to match hers. "I l-l-l-l-l-ooooove you too much to breathe you in! Although I could spend all day inhaling your scent and get nothing else done... Oh, was that a bit too much? Ahhh! I need to learn the limits of appropriateness before I do something embarrassing!"
This was how Dragons are. They never did anything halfway. Which is why they couldn’t just open bank accounts like normal people and instead made their beds out of all their money. It did give lots of jobs to all the other monsters at least, since somebody had to guard it all.
"Oh Glored," Razz sighed, hugging onto the dragon from behind. A dangerous thing to do because this always got his wings flapping really hard. "You're so cute when you're like this!"
"Then I'll- I'll be like this all the time!"
Razz's face showed a smile, but the dark shadow over it told a different story. "And prove your mother right about our relationship?"
"Ahhhhh! No, sorry! Forgive me honeybun! I'll be more confident out in public and before you know it I'll surpass even my mother!"
"Good boy!"
Bear in mind what was said above, by the way. If 'Glored' the dragon was a level 100 monster then Razz was level 10. They couldn't possibly compare in terms of strength. Yet you'd almost think it was the other way around based on how they behave.
Well, it makes sense if you know 'Glored' a bit more and his backstory. His mother - Divine Radiance the Rainbow Majestic Queen of Dragons - had a name quite befitting her size, power and position in the kingdom. She was the strongest dragon alive. Rumoured to be the strongest dragon to ever live, and in fact it's rumoured that if she ever metamorphosed into her true size then she'd be as large as the moon.
Needless to say but those who believe in such rumours and understand gravity often wake up in a cold sweat about this fact. But it does rather highlight why Glored had a bit of a complex. And why his mother (let's call her Divire) didn't exactly approve of this relationship. A dragon and a goblin? Why, it's only obvious that any offspring would be weak! Why couldn't he hook up with a lich or there's this nice demon who lives down the other dimension who has a really good position as the Lord of Pride...
But things like love don't care about things like power discrepancies or good breeding.
"So, I was thinking of heading into town to get a few things," Razz said. She rubbed her cheek up against his neck, enjoying the way that the scales gently scratched her skin. "Is there anything you would like me to get while I'm out?"
"Ah, the village?!" Glored gasped. "No, no! I can always send out others! It wouldn't be right to risk your life like that..."
"Dummy! I can handle myself," Razz said, sticking out her tongue. "You worry too much."
Well, that's natural enough. Those with power are always terrified of someone taking it away from them. Or if not that, then taking away the things they care about the most.
"Well, I'll send you along with an escort," Glored announced. "They can get more food and help you bring back the things you buy. Um... I've seen you hanging out with Arete, Sal Ei and Palm quite a lot recently, so they'll escort you."
“Oh… them. That’s, that’s fine Glored! Hahahahaha….” Razz said. "If that is what you want, then... Alright! We'll be back soon!"
<hr>
“What did you screw up this time for Lord Glorious Crimson?" a harpy snootily asked Razz while hovering just a little bit above her head such that her wings were barely missing the goblin's long ears. This was Arete.
"Don't lie and say it was nothing this time either," a lizardperson hissed, her tail coming a few inches away from slapping Razz's left ankle. This was Sal Ei.
"After all, why else would our wonderful employer ever single you out and call you forth, and then send you out on a trivial mission like this?" asked a larger goblin who was standing to Razz's right and might not be doing anything specific to annoy Razz, but had a general attitude that made it seem likely that she might do something at the drop of a hat. This was Palm.
"That is between me and Lord Glorious Crimson," Razz politely insisted. Then the trio pulled back - and all of a sudden Razz found herself falling into a pit trap.
"Oops, sorry!" Palm chuckled. "Looks like I clumsily activated that trap!"
"Well at least she's in her proper place now," Sal Ei remarked. The lizardgirl tossed down a rope step ladder. "Beneath us, as much as we are beneath Lord Glorious Dragon."
"Girls, I think she might even have the audacity to try to seduce him," Arete added, stirring the pot. "I've seen her when she thinks nobody is looking, and she gets all flirty."
Oh, it was always this way with those three. They were sort of aware of the relationship, but not the specifics, and they'd leaped to several wrong conclusions (or maybe a correct one) leading to tremendous jealousy that they were taking out on her by 'accident'. It could be her trap mechanics breaking, being given wrong directions so that she got lost, making sure she got less portions at lunchtime or mixing up her drinks with those alcoholic healing potions...
Razz remembered when she had been in Low School, so sure that people would be more mature once they were adults with jobs. She laughed at her naivety now. Ah, how much more innocent things had been back then...
It was pretty much like that en route to the village. Palm would push back a tree branch while taking the lead, resulting in Razz having to duck under it. Sal Ei would use her tail to kick up muck. Arete would continue flapping within Razz's personal space. While the three of them basically pretended to ignore her otherwise and gossiped amongst themselves.
Oh, honestly. He meant well, but...Glored had seriously not understood the working relationship among his staff at all. A dungeon romance like this was always difficult. But she loved him! So she would persevere and -
"Kyaaaaaa!"
The four monsters all immediately got on guard. Out of nowhere a human girl appeared, almost barrelling into them. A human! Out here?!
"You've got to help me!" the human yelled. To them. To <i>monsters</i>. That was weird enough, but on closer inspection this human had bluish skin and - She jumped right onto Sal Ei. "oooh... You're pretty cute, you know. Mmm... yeah. Can you help this poor little slime?"
"Sl-Slime?!" Sal Ei grunted, opening her mouth to take a bite out of the human - only to get kissed on the lips instead. "Ew! Gross! Huh... Weird, you're kinda cold to the touch. I thought humans were meant to be warm?"
"She went this way!" a voice that sounded like an especially angry orc yelled. The girl took one look back, then slipped out of Sal Ei's grip and continued on her way. "Don't let her escape!"
"... She went that way!" Razz yelled as they went past, pointing in the same way that human girl had gone. Honestly now! Letting a human escape like that could be disastrous. She might bring Heroes down on their head if they're not careful!
"You alright there Sal Ei?" Palm asked. "You seem a bit paler than usual, less green than healthy."
Sal Ei responded with a sneeze. "Urgh! I really hope that human didn't make me sick or something," Sal Ei sniffed. "Come on, let's get to that village and pick up those supplies."
Huh... Well, Razz could be thankful for one thing at least. They weren't being quite so focused on bullying her anymore. If only she knew what lay ahead, she might have started wishing that they had continued to bully her...
<hr>
Shortly after this, in a dark and dank cell, that bluish human girl was up against the bars gripping them with both hands. "Uwaaaah! Help me! I feel so weird!" she screamed, tears flowing down her face. Which was odd, because the tears were clearly made of the same material as the rest of her body.
On the outside a group of monsters looked at her with outright disgust. A beholder, an orc in plate mail and a giant spider in a labcoat. Try not to think about the sleeves.
"There's no doubt about it," the spider-scientist said. "This poor thing was a perfectly ordinary slime not one hour ago."
"Doesn't look like any slime I've ever seen," the beholder grunted. "And I've beaten more than enough humans to know she doesn't quite look like a human either." She blinked. "Though if I were any judge, she's getting closer with every passing second."
"Should I kill her?" the orc asked. "If this is what you guys are talking 'bout, then..."
"Then we need to study her to learn a cure," the spider said. "You are correct that this is dangerous, but being so careless with her will not be of any benefit."
Dangerous. Oh yes, this was quite dangerous indeed. None of them needed to explain why. In the human world, the term is 'breed like rabbits' or 'ravenous like locusts'. In the monster world? Such statements are ludicrous because if there's anything humans liked to do, from the point of view of monsters, it was -
1: Sex
2: Consume
"Hmph... I've not seen any human females behave in such an obviously sexually aroused manner before," the Beholder commented. "They usually have a lot more self control than that."
"Indeed," the spider added, nodding - or at least making a motion that could be interpreted as nodding. "My hypothesis is simple: Humans are used to the raging hormones that induce their high breeding behaviour, and as such are more in control over it."
"Eh?!" the orc gasped. "Th-They're in <i>control</i> over it?! That's crazy talk!"
"I'm speaking in relative terms only. This transformation from monsters into humans introduces a high level of new hormones in those affected - which induces them into seeking partners and can in turn lead to them spreading this sickness to more monsters.
“You know, if I wasn’t watching her transform, I would just think this is some kind of crossbreed. After all, humans can basically breed with anything.” The spider blinked, with all her eyes at once and tilted her head. “I wonder if she will grow bones or stay semi-liquid?” Her chelicerae twitched in curiosity.
"Hey, mister orc! I can see what you're packing down there!" the former slime girl said, reaching through the bars but not getting anywhere near. "Let me have some of that vitamin D!"
"Disgraceful," the beholder tsked.
“Urghh..” The orc said, shuddering and taking a few steps back from the cell in clear disgust. “Do we have anything to start on a cure? The thought of.. more of this is deeply disturbing.”
“Just a quickie! I need something anything to… oh hey I figured out how to goo up again!” The Slime-Girl said, suddenly flattening her body and sliding through the bars of the cell. “Those tentacles look neat!” She said, tackling the beholder scientist and giving her a smooch on the lips.”
"Gah! Pathetic slime, you think you can - Mmmph!" Well for all of her power, it seemed like the Beholder had little experience with kissing. Never mind that as a semi-slime, the blue girl could slip a bit more than just some tongue in.
The orc moved in to help, but the spider held out three of its legs. "No, best we avoid infection and try to study this from a distance."
"You wanna try locking up a horny beholder?!" the orc grunted.
The spider remained silent for a moment as, before their eyes, the Beholder's tentacle eyes slowly receded and she became a floating cute petite girl with an eyepatch. One which was also extremely into making out with the slime girl.
"You know that's a really good point we should probably run," the spider said to nobody because the orc had already left as soon as it had finished its incredulous question.
- Back in the dungeon, Glorious Crimson starts hearing about this human outbreak
- In the village, Sal Ei's symptoms progress quickly.
- How the fuck do you even contain a horny beholder-girl?!
- Razz’s group manages to get Sal Ei home. This is a bad thing, as you have an entire dungeon filled with monsters ready to get infected.
- Okay, where the heck did this infection come from anyway? Bored wizard, drunk gods, a dungeon master wanting a new campaign goal?
- Something Else
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