Story: Tainted Cube: Guilt Trip

Here's this week's Tainted Cube. I know, the poll is running a little longer than I had intended it to... But I'll let it run out and then set up the new one to close next Saturday.

Meanwhile, here's Tainted Cube. I have considered adding the Angel fight to the episode, but I think it's probably fine the way it is. Any thoughts?


It’s funny, really. For all that he was starting to take a manipulative turn, Tsukune was a little bit blunt about it, and was still trying to be kind of a nice guy. Even though he was beginning down the path of that damnable road of good intentions he still didn’t really want to see anyone get hurt, per se. He still saw the good in people. Monsters. Whatever. The one thing he wanted at this strange school was… Well. More friends. More allies. More people he can rely upon. More people that could help him, protect him, talk with him. Understand him.

Which leads us inexorably back towards one Shinji Ikari, recovering in a hospital bed with rising consciousness. Just as Tsukune inadvertently began to adopt traits of another Cube owner quite without the involvement of that particular owner, one must now wonder if perhaps without meaning it at all, Shinji would begin to take on the traits of another owner that had nothing to do with this… And if so, which one? Or perhaps which ones?

Such questions will have to wait for just now as his eyesight - at first bleary - soon becomes clear. He sees a white ceiling. Unfamiliar. The smell betrays where he is before he even turns his head to look. “A… hospital?” he says out loud, and turns to notice small signs all around him indicating that is probably the kind of place he is in. How did he get here? Physically, he feels fine. A little tired, perhaps, but - Oh. Maybe on second thought remaining in bed a <i>little</i> bit longer would be a good idea.

There wasn’t much else to do but wait. For medical staff. For food. For this exhaustion to go away and let him stand up. It wasn’t like he was sleepy at all, it wasn’t like he’d run a marathon, it was just sort of like his muscles were sluggish. No, not just that. It was like his nerves were expecting more feedback than they were getting, but that didn’t make sense at all. Shinji shook his head and tried to remember how the hell he’d wound up here. Let’s see.

Postcard from Dad, picture of insanely hot chick to make sure he’d be there, arrived in the city, saw a giant monster -

Oh. Right. That. He fought a giant monster. In a giant robot. That worked by synchronising with his nervous system and moving as he willed it. Without any training, he got right on into that gloop and fought a giant monster. No training at all. Absolutely none. Shinji’s head fell against the pillow and he stared up at that ceiling, searching for the right words to express what he was feeling right now about the flood of memories coming back like a burst dam. Sorting through them was a bit tricky, given how fast everything seemed to happen. Even so. After a minute one word did sort its way out to the surface, and he whispered it mostly to himself. But really? It was for the whole world to hear.

“Kickass.”

The simple act of figuring out what he’d been up to last night injected fresh life into Shinji, or maybe it was simply that he knew why his limbs were behaving the way they were, so he knew how to work around the problem? Either way, he rolled out of bed with greater success this time and tiptoed towards the door. While it might be fun to see if a cute nurse would arrive later on, the smarter thing to do might be to check out exactly where he was rather than daydream about being able to introduce with perfect honesty himself as “the pilot of that giant robot that saved the city.” Plus ten points to social status. Instantly.

“Look, I don’t care what you say!” a familiar voice said. Hello, what was this? Shinji peered outside and caught sight of Misato talking into a phone, very animated, pacing around and apparently not seeing him at all. “I’m really not overburdened having to deal with Rei, and there’s more than enough room for him to - No, of course they won’t mind! They all work for us anyway, and besides which he needs someone to take care of - Of course that’s not why! Rits, you’ve developed quite the filthy imagination these days! Trust me, after the hell we’ve thrown him into, Shinji needs someone to look after him. Honestly! Sending him off to live alone, what were the higher ups even thinking?”

Shinji rolled his eyes at that particular line of thinking. Probably Father’s idea. “Toughen the boy up a bit. If he’s going to pilot, he needs to be stronger.” Ha, sure. Whatever, old man. Just you keep on plotting, keep on scheming and keep on pushing people away until you die alone and -

Wait wait wait wait. Wait. So, to summarise the situation a little. Misato Katsuragi, that particular shining beacon of radiant hotness, with those curves and that face, was making significant moves towards ensuring that he would be able to live with her.

“I know, I know, it’s supposed to be an apartment for women only, but I’m sure they’ll make an exception for Shinji. I mean, what’s the alternative if his father won’t take him in? No, I’m fighting for this, tooth and nail! It’s in the boy’s best interests!”

Sometimes dreams do come true.

<hr>
Guilt seemed to be a natural state of being these days. Sending his son into a battle for which he had no training and no concept of just how high the stakes really were. Being reliant on a guilt trip to get him into the plug. Feeling relieved when it worked. Oh, certainly it was Fuyutsuki that had Rei sent up, but the idea had occurred to him in a moment of weakness when he had thought “All the people on this planet will die unless I convince my estranged son to do this thing” but he dismissed it as too cruel, too callous a gesture when surely he would come around of his own accord. Surely Shinji didn’t hate him so much that he would damn the world just to spite him. Surely he would not throw away his only chance of survival, no matter how slim.

But still. Relief that it had worked. He had felt that. He had felt glad that Fuyutsuki was able to take the step that he would not, could not take. And then he had felt terrible at every single blow. Held his breath whenever he heard his son’s shrieks of agony, and perhaps most worryingly he thought this as well:

“You place the life and wellbeing of your son over that of the entire human race. You can’t make the hard choices at all without agonising over them for hours and hours. Maybe someone else would be better suited for this posi-”

No! No. Not that. Never resign from this post. Not possible. Not for his own sake and certainly not for the sake of the world. If he left or died then the old men would ensure someone loyal and determined for their cause was put in place, and then anything he might try to do to mitigate the impending disaster would come undone in the blink of an eye. Largely because he would be killed, but that was hardly the point, really.

“Commander,” a tiny voice said, breaking him away from such thoughts and reminding him of his current guilt. “I understand your son dealt with the Angel?”

“Yes, Rei.” How could he let this happen to her? This was perhaps the very incident that set off his latest round of guilt, all things following on as consequence of this single stupid mistake. “He performed admirably.” Not that he’d take such a compliment seriously. But he had. Done his old man proud. He stood. He fought. He did not run away. “How are you feeling?”

“I can resume duties at any time,” Rei said. “And I am eager to do so as soon as possible.”

Gendo’s eyes narrowed at her. Always eager to please, aren’t you, Rei? Don’t like being a disappointment. Want to show the world that you have a purpose, even if it’s a purpose decided by others. Perhaps especially then. He gave a curt nod to a nearby medical staff, a nurse. She gave a slightly frightened look back, but nodded very quickly in terrified comprehension. Everyone else in the room stepped back two paces, leaving Rei looking around at them all in confusion.

The nurse reached into a pocket and pulled out… a balloon. One of the long ones. She took a few deep breaths, blew into it, causing it to grow and grow. Rei was watching with rapt attention. Not a good sign to start with. Especially not given the way she was licking her lips at the sight of something large and phallic manifesting before her eyes…

The end of the balloon was tied off, and then the nurse made several careful twists. Before long it was in the shape of a balloon animal, a cute little dog that looked like it wanted to play. Rei tilted her head in yet more confusion, but didn’t keep her eyes off it. Especially when the nurse made to place it on her lap, but seemed to think better of it and instead gently batted it in her general direction while scurrying away in terror.

Rei just stared at it for a moment in that way she does. The effect was… gradual, but soon built up. It was most noticeable at first with her breathing, which was so carefully measured you wouldn’t even normally catch her doing it. It sped up as she stared at the little cute balloon animal, just lying on her lap. A tiny, almost undetectable additional tactile stimulus in addition to the bed, her clothes and so on. Her breaths were deep. Rapid. Accelerating. A touch of pink coloured her cheeks. Her hands gripped at the bedsheets and she whimpered even as she tried desperately to restrain it. To no avail. None at all. She lost the battle at long last when her eyes rolled up into the back of her head, and then Rei Ayanami collapsed onto the bed screaming exultation and praise be to whatever cosmic power permitted her to feel this way. Her hips bucked. She tossed. She turned. She came.

Everyone in the room (except Rei, obviously) took another few steps back just to be on the safe side.

“She is definitely improving. Something like that would have set her off in seconds merely an hour ago. That took about half a minute, maybe a little more.”

The Commander fixed a steely gaze upon the man responsible for cleaning up the mess that he had made. “How soon will she make a full recovery?”

“I couldn’t tell you, really. She may never make a full recovery, but I think she’s learning to control herself. But right now? I’d give her about ten steps before she collapsed into a screaming orgasm, and I pity anyone that had the misfortune to bump into her in the street. Girl’s a lot stronger than she looks.”

Everyone in the room (again, except Rei) took another step away from the bed, just to be certain. Gendo adjusted his glasses. Well then. It appeared he would have to depend on his son for a little while longer.

<hr>
So here he was, staring up at yet another strange ceiling. This would be the place he’d be staying in from now on, eh? Seemed kind of… big. Certainly bigger than it needed to be for two people. Wait. Didn’t Rei also stay here? Well then, it was still too large. Three people didn’t really need quite this much room! Then again, saving the world presumably has certain perks to come with the job. The intentional ones like fancy living conditions, and the unintentional like fame and adulation and living with a complete knockout.

There wasn’t really anything to do at the moment. His stuff hadn’t arrived yet, and Misato had to leave again on some urgent business or other. Being the tactical officer obviously had to mean being kept up to date on relevant data; no doubt she had a shitton of forms to fill in and meetings to attend. Shinji sighed, knowing that she must be even more bored than he was.

(Halfway across the city, Misato sneezed. Then resumed the celebration with the technicians on a job well done by knocking back another can of booze. Nothing like an after-work party to lighten spirits!)

Alright then! If there was nothing to do around here, then he’d just have to make something to do! Like exploring his new home. Yeah. That seemed like a good idea. Didn’t he hear something about a hot spring? Sure would be a good thing right about now, ease his aching muscles a bit. There was something else about this place, though, wasn’t there? Something he’d heard Misato say, something a little weird and kind of wonderful in a way… Eh. It probably wasn’t important, he’d work it out later on probably.

The spring itself was easy to find, and Shinji had to say he was impressed with the engineering. To think they had worked a way to bring this wonder completely underground! Whoever designed Tokyo-3 was a damned genius, no doubt of that. No expense spared, and it showed. Boy, did it ever show. Deep, deep pockets went into it, anyone could see that.

Shinji stripped naked and sank into the water with a satisfied sigh. Yeah. This was the life, alright. He could already feel his muscles relaxing, all the tension and anxieties caused by that earlier rumble melting away in the warm water and flying away by steam power.

But what a fight it had been. Shinji closed his eyes and remembered… He remembered stumbling on his first steps, falling to the ground in a moment that probably caused a lot of soiled underwear in the control room. Probably not helped when the Angel took advantage of his prone form to kick the crap out of him. But then, just when it all seemed hopeless… Something happened, and the next thing he knows the tables have turned. He’s tearing the monster to shreds, and it feels like it’s his own hands doing it rather than the metal beast he was piloting. As if sensing the fight was lost his adversary leaped forward into a suicidal dive, wrapping itself around him and detonating in a terrible cross-shaped explosion from which he was easily able to walk away. Shinji remembered returning to base… and then nothing. Collapsed, quite probably.

“Ah, what a hard day it’s been,” a voice said from the entrance. “Miss Katsuragi makes an awful mess, doesn’t she? Seems to take all of my time just cleaning up after her.”

Through the steam, Shinji caught sight of… a woman. And what a woman it was. Flowing brown hair down her back, framing a beatific, peaceful face. Clutching a towel to her body, which was nowhere near enough to even begin hiding the curves of that body. Not even with the help of all the steam.

“Is that you, Sumie?” the gorgeous creature asked, stepping into the hot spring as she did so. Shinji blinked, then swore under his breath. Of course! Girls’ dorm! Which meant that unless he extracted himself from this situation quickly - If only he hadn’t been so distracted by dear god, those breasts. No, no, stop that! Remember the first rule, pick your time and pick your place to hit on someone. Shinji backed away through the water, beginning to duck his head underneath and praying - oh, how he prayed - that she wouldn’t notice anything amiss until he was already -

At which point the mystery woman leaned forward and stared Shinji right in the face. In a word: Shit. This, this could not even begin to end well. Especially not with that loud, ear-shattering scream. What else could he do but grab a towel and run, apologising as he went?

Rule two had to be obeyed in an instance like this. Always apologise, but never say that it’s not what it looks like. Because that will only make them think about what it looks like, and maybe imagine it’s something worse. The best thing to do was extract himself from the situation, get dressed and then as calmly as possible explain what was going on. The worst that might happen would be a few hours of jail, and once Misato showed up, she’d corroborate the story and all would be fine. It might not even come to that if he turned up enough charm. It might not -

Huh. Was that a bullet hole appearing in the wall next to his head?

“That was a warning shot!” said a rather understandably angry woman’s voice from behind him. “I won’t miss again!”

Which was right about when the door opened up, revealing a smaller woman that was even bustier than the last one. She looked up at him in confusion, then restrained a little laughter and kicked Shinji’s shin. This caused him to stumble forward and swear quite profusely at the laser sight while the smaller woman simply side stepped him and whispered “I’d start running!”

When he hesitated this smaller woman simply gave him a small shove and the next thing he knew he was doing exactly that. Dammit! Well. Maybe if he left the premises and wandered around for a couple of hours to get the lay of the land, that wouldn’t be so bad. Wait until Misato comes back, explain the misunderstanding. It’d all work out in the end, and then -

And then he saw the third of them. Taller than the others, not quite as curvaceous but still very pretty. Shinji made the mistake of attempting to run right past her. He would have had better luck running directly through a steel wall. For the second time in the same set of twenty-four hours, Shinji Ikari was rendered completely and thoroughly unconscious against his own will.
<hr>
The thing about alcohol is that it’s a depressant. Doesn’t seem like it given the hyperactive way some people seem to behave when completely hammered, but believe that it is a depressant. Trick to it is, once it’s in the bloodstream alcohol is easily diffused into the biological tissue of most of the body. That is a part of the reason it has such a wide and varied effect on the human body, and why a hangover often feels like the entire body has been systematically set upon throughout the night by a dozen angry pixies armed with tiny, tiny pickaxes. The stuff just gets everywhere. Leaves the brain cloudy (and I won’t bore you with the details of how that works), lowers inhibitions, causes a euphoric effect, makes it harder to evaluate the consequences of behaviour, become more animated in speech and movement… And that’s just the start of the list of symptoms.

Misato Katsuragi was not nearly as drunk as she’d hoped to be by now. Instead, she was standing in a bathroom staring at a mirror and feeling rather incredibly guilty.

An Angel died earlier on. The necessary cleanup was so minimal they had nothing to do but kill time. Hence the celebration. How many years of hard work, research, training and… How much had they all been through to get to this point? Didn’t they deserve to celebrate their hard work a little? The Commander seemed to think so. How had he put it? “An overworked crew is a sloppy crew”. They’d worked hard, and would continue to work hard… But for now they would take the time to celebrate a little bit and then they would wait for the next one of the bastards to show its ugly head.

But even so… Even so… They weren’t the ones that dealt the killing blow. They weren’t the ones that ultimately risked their lives to bring it down and prevent <i>that</i> from happening again. Without training. Without the slightest idea what he’d be doing later on when he woke up that morning. If anyone deserved to celebrate, if anyone deserved to be congratulated by a great big circle of people applauding his efforts, it was surely Shinji Ikari.

Alright then! Nothing else for it! She’d shown up and partied with the crew, boosted morale a little bit, showed she cared about them. Time to show the same care and consideration to their new pilot. She’d head off home, help him unpack and then the five of them would all have their own little party to celebrate in his wonderful effort to save the world!

Her phone suddenly buzzed just as she was getting ready to leave. “Katsuragi here,” she said. After a moment or two, she stopped and let her palm fly into her forehead one, twice, three times a little harder each time. Stupid! Trust you to forget an important detail like that! “It’s alright, he’s supposed to be there,” she said. “I’ll explain in full when I get there.”

<hr>
Another strange ceiling, then. What a peculiar pattern to the day. Hopefully he wouldn’t wind up going unconscious for a third time today, that sort of thing can’t be healthy for a brain. Shinji tried to sit up. And failed completely. The hell…? His legs were restrained! As were his hands! And what was this stuff over his mouth?

“Awake, are we?” the small girl from earlier said, leaning over him in a way that had to be deliberately showing off her cleavage. “Glad to hear it! Now the real fun can begin!”

“That is your biggest problem, Honami!” the tall one said, idly playing with a very small, very sharp-looking knife. “You take far too much pleasure in our work. And for pity’s sake, stop flaunting yourself to the pervert like that.”

“You’re just jealous! If you had a body worth flaunting, you’d do so as well, Sumie!”

Sumie put her knife away and glowered at Honami. Oh, yes. There were sparks flying between these two. Shinji had the impression that this was a conversation they’d had before, and would probably have again at some point in the future. Honami rocked back and forth on her heel, all smiles and joy while Sumie sighed wearily and nodded towards Shinji.

“Not the time for your usual banter. Intruder first, then tease me if you absolutely must.”

“I’ll hold you to that later on!” Honami said with an ominous chuckle. “Just leave me alone with him for a five minutes,” she said, idly twirling a strand of Shinji’s hair as she spoke in what he could only even begin to interpret as a seductive gesture. “He’ll be putty in my hands long before then.”

Oh, but he could easily believe that. This girl was TROUBLE, in all caps as opposed to just the capital T. The sort that you couldn’t keep your eyes off. They walk into a room, turn on the charm, and the next thing you know you’re internally narrating like a cheap noir novel detective.

“Your way is a little too crass for my tastes,” Sumie said, gently pushing Honami aside. “You’ve done your part in tying him up, let me do my part in putting the fear of his maker into him.”

No! Wait! Bring back the other girl! The one that wasn’t scary! Well. Was scary, but was much more inclined towards fun! Sumie extended a single finger, just her pinky, and used it to hook Shinji’s collar - And then hoisted him into the air. Just by her pinky.

“I’m going to put you down in a moment, then take that gag off your mouth. Then you are going to tell me who you are, how you got in, and if applicable who you work for and we’ll just go from there.”

Right. So. To recap. Earlier on he had piloted a giant robot without any training to fight a nigh unstoppable monster of equivalent height to said giant robot. He had somehow won that fight and walked away unscathed, then come here and was about to be killed by some woman that was way the hell stronger than any human had any right to be.

Funny thing was? There was something in her eyes. The burning, raging fire within focused on him with the kind of hatred you only usually read about. Something about it. There was a passion beneath all of that that captured his soul as well even beyond the mortal terror and he had to admit that there was at least a little satisfaction that at least he’d be taken down by a beauty like this.

The door was thrown open rather inexplicably, and all three of them turned to face the maid standing in the entrance. Shinji recognised her after a moment. The one that started this whole mess off in the hot spring. She was a little bit breathless and whimpered a little at the sight of Sumie holding him up by her pinky.

“Y-You haven’t hurt him, have you?” the maid said, trembling slightly.

“Not yet, Chisato,” Sumie said, lifting Shinji a little bit higher as if to punctuate the point.

“Put him down!” Chisato demanded so suddenly, it seemed to shock Sumie into compliance. “That’s the Commander’s son. Their new pilot. I just received a call. He’ll be staying here from now on.”

It was a funny thing watching the way they reacted to that news. Chisato fidgeting in her maid’s uniform, unable to make eye contact with anyone (especially him). Honami laughing like a lunatic while she undid his bonds. Sumie staring at him goggle eyed, then turning back to Chisato as if to confirm the news. Not exactly the best introduction in the world, but…

“I’m Shinji Ikari,” he said, standing up to give a polite bow to the three of them. “Sorry about all this.”

<hr>
So now he had the time to get away from everything. Let the simple fact that NERV had demonstrated its effectiveness wash back into the minds of those idiots. Yes. Let them digest it. Let them consume the fact that their armies couldn’t even slow it down for more than a matter of seconds, that the wave after wave of men they hurled wholesale at that towering Angel did nothing to delay the inevitable.

And let them remember that NERV crushed it. In future any Angel that would appear would be dealt with by them. Not the military. Them. The weight of the world, the weight of humanity. On their shoulders. And, of course, the other NERV bases. But Gendo knew the truth. Only his would be attacked. Only his and his alone. At which point he might receive reinforcements, but for now he would have to depend completely upon -

“An interesting report about your son,” Fuyutsuki said. “Apparently, communications broke down somewhere along the line, and those three thought he was an intruder.”

Gendo winced. “How badly did they scare him?”

“Hm, nothing quite in comparison to his earlier experience, I should imagine. They used their normal intimidation tactics, you know the sort. Look at us, we’re going to rough you up. Then the last of them comes in, reports that he’s being handed off to The Cobra or something like that, and suddenly they’re feeling quite sorry for him. Only had the chance to get through the first part before they realised their mistake, they don’t appear to have hurt him beyond restraining him.”

Right. Not their fault, then. “Find out who was responsible for this misunderstanding and dock their pay. I’ll leave it to yourself to determine how much. As for them… Unknowing or not they did threaten a pilot. Instruct them to obey my son’s orders as if they were my own, save any orders that contradict me directly.”

“Very well, but you do realise that you’ve just given your son - a notable playboy - complete authority over three rather attractive young women.”

Gendo leaned into his hands a little bit more. He had considered that much, at least. “How likely is he to take advantage of that fact? Given reports, he seems to enjoy the pursuit more than the catch. Regardless, their first order is to keep the safety of all living at that address as their top priority.

“In the meantime, are there any further developments into researching this peculiar energy wave?”

Fuyutsuki hesitated for a moment. Perhaps he was more aware than anyone else how important this was to him personally. “Another burst has been detected,” the Sub-Commander admitted. “The research team has not yet identified the cause, but feel that this indicates we may well see another burst soon. The current theory is that it is somehow connected to the Angels, but in what manner... Nobody can agree on that yet for there is insufficient evidence.”

Of course. For it to appear twice within such a small amount of time after so long without a sign... A connection was possible. Whether or not that particular theory panned out would depend upon further information. After so long without anything new to work on, that particular team must surely be thrilled for something to do. Very well. Let them work. One way or the other he would know something.

“How is the celebration going?” Gendo asked. “I would prefer it if the crews worked all the stress out of their system as quickly as possible.”

“It appears to be going quite well,” Fuyutsuki said. “By this time tomorrow, I expect everyone will be much more efficient at their jobs. It was a good idea to let them celebrate this event, Commander.”

Yes. That was the reason he’d allowed them this opportunity to unwind a little. Efficiency. Stress. Not because he was proud of them for stellar work, not because they’d earned it, not because they were people that did their jobs in the face of adversity and deserved the opportunity to forget for a little while what they were doing and what they were fighting for, not because of any of that. No. Just because it made for a more productive working environment. Nothing more.

“I think it’s time you made your own appearance there,” the Commander said. “Show them that those in charge are also capable of unwinding a little. There is precious little to be done today, and we certainly have enough time before the next attack.”

The older man gave a polite smile and did not try to persuade him to come along as well. He knew better by now. Let the others have their fun. Let the others rest and relax. There would be no rest or relaxation for him. Not for him. Never for Gendo Ikari. He sat stooped over his desk in his by now trademark pose for a little while longer before reaching for another form to fill in, another report to write up, more work to do, more plans to unwind and more plots to unravel. He lived upon the edge of a knife. One slip was all it would take. One single solitary slip, and not only would his own throat be cut but the rest of humanity as well. So much rested upon him and him alone. Was it arrogance to believe that they would be enough? It was his burden, and he detested having to place some of its terrible weight upon the backs of others, but what other recourse was there?

“This isn’t healthy. You have to realise that.”

His eyes jolted open, and cast towards the door. Had he fallen asleep at his desk? By all appearances, yes. He must have. Dr Akagi was standing in front of him now, and he would have certainly noticed her entering the room.

“What time is it?” he asked, surprised at how hoarse his throat sounded.

“Four in the morning,” Dr Akagi said. “Come on. You and the Sub-Commander can finish these later. You need sleep. No, don’t try to argue with me. Doctor’s orders.”

“… You’re not a medical doctor.”

“Don’t make me wake up the head of the medical department. I’m sure he would not appreciate it for something like this. Come on, let me get you into bed.”

It sometimes seemed as though that’s all this woman did these days. Very well then. She did have a point. Just as much as everyone else needed to relax, it would do them little good to see him exhausted as well.

<hr>
Shinji sat opposite the three strange women that he would be living with from now on, and took the time to really get a better look at them all in turn while Misato spoke.

“I know this is an unorthodox situation, allowing him to stay here. But we’ll just have to make do!” Misato said, almost like she was lecturing the three of them. “Now, I know you’re supposed to keep this place safe, but perhaps in future you could be a little less quick to leap to capture and interrogate?”

Alright. So. The tall one in the gi was Sumie Mashita. She kept her hair pretty long. Didn’t have much of a figure to her from what little Shinji could tell, but had a face that was both rather beautiful and deeply unimpressed with the situation. Sumie also didn’t look even a tenth as strong as she apparently was.

“Your instructions are understood,” Sumie said. “Though it is rather unsettling to consider a young man like this would be living with us from now on, I see little alternative but to obey orders.”

The smaller one wore much more casual clothes than the other two. She had a bit of a mischievous side, apparently. Introduced to him as Honami Iwahashi, an expert in traps, surveillance and gadgetry, he could almost believe it. Probably got her start as a practical joker, and went from there. She kept her hair pretty short. Pageboy look.

“Oh, don’t you go on about all men being perverts again,” Honami said. “I mean, the whole thing was clearly a misunderstanding, right? And I bet the thing you’re really worried about is if you can’t scare a man away, you might find out you’re the bigger pervert after all!” Honami winked at Shinji and chuckled at Sumie’s simmering rage.

The last of them looked absolutely nothing like a bodyguard at all. Not in the slightest. Her name was Chisato Nakadan, and she was the ranged expert of the trio. Shinji didn’t quite get what that meant exactly, until Chisato suddenly pulled out two handguns from her apron, and at Misato’s request fired at a paper target hanging in the back garden. There was a series of dots strewn throughout the target. Chisato had just sort of glanced in their general direction, started running towards it, fired as she went and hit every single target on the paper. Dead on.

“She taught me how to do that,” Misato had said at the time. “But I’m not half as good as she is.”

Do tell! Running at a target while aiming at it, and hitting every bullet on its mark perfectly? And yet here she was sitting in a maid’s uniform, gently sipping at her tea and pretending to ignore the almost sibling-like argument happening just next to her.

“Now, now, the pair of you!” Chisato finally said, quietly but firmly. “I’m quite sure that Shinji here is quite a nice young man, and hardly the sort to - for example - peek at us in the hot spring. Or go into our rooms to search through our underwear drawer.” Chisato stopped and shuddered a little bit, her eyes taking a slightly glassy quality. “Or sneak in there at night to find our unconscious, helpless bodies just lying there for him to lust over… And he just can’t help it… Can’t help from… From… Anyway, I’m sure he’s not that kind of person at all! Are you, Shinji?”

It was all he could do to shake his head. Nope. No, sir. Ma’am. Whatever.

“Now, some additional orders have come through as well,” Misato said, checking her phone. “Turns out the Commander wants you to obey his orders like they came from him, so long as they don’t actually contradict his orders. Hm… I can imagine the kind of fun a nice young man like him could have, being able to order around three cuties like you three.”

The reaction from all three was, once again, quite telling. Chisato’s eyes sort of rolled up into her head and she fainted with a slight nose bleed. Honami started alternating between a knowing smirk and blowing kisses at Shinji, while Sumie just sort of trembled and stammered, and frankly that was the sort of reaction he was expecting from all three of them.

“M-Miss Katsuragi!” she finally exclaimed. “You can’t m-mean to say that if - if he orders us to - to do… Anything! Then we would have to - Have to -”

“Um… It’s alright, Miss Mashita!” Shinji said, interrupting before the poor woman hyperventilated. “I - I promise not to take advantage of that. Really!”

Well, he did mean that. No fun to be had there. What was that, old man? Trying to throw out an easy bone? Hah Yeah. Not likely. He was gonna earn him at least one of the three, and he’d do it without needing that stupid ordering-them-around thing. How exactly, he wasn’t sure yet, but… Hell. He still had to unpack. No time for this right now.

<hr>
“I don’t like this,” Sumie said, pacing around the room with her arms folded in front of her. “I mean, to have him living here? With us? The very idea is completely absurd!”

Honami rolled her eyes while Chisato cleaned one of her many, many guns. Such a stick in the mud. “You need to get laid,” Honami said after a moment. “You’re way too uptight, you know that?”

“So what if I’m uptight?” Sumie sniffed, indignant at the intended insult. “I get results. I keep my charges safe. I am <i>not</i> just some fancy fling for - For -”

“For the guy responsible for keeping this entire city safe from giant, near indestructible monsters,” Honami finished. “Y’know, for what he did earlier on I’ve half a mind to head in there and blow him. He seems cute enough, and besides which he deserves it.”

“Deserves it -” Sumie spluttered. “Honami, you are not just some cheap floozy! You are a bodyguard! Surveillance and trap expert! Besides, I am quite certain he is being compensated in other ways that are a little more satisfying in the long term than something so tawdry!”

“More money than we make put together,” Chisato casually said. “And he’s a shoe in for any university or job he wants when this is all over.”

“You see? No need to debase yourself. He’s being compensated quite adequately.”

“Oh, well, if he’s making that much money I don’t know what I’m arguing about,” Honami said, rolling over and picking up the book she’d been reading. The other two exchanged glances and shrugged. Money had always been Honami’s main source of weakness. Hell. It was because of her tendency to seek out means of making a little cash that she was even in this job in the first place!

It wasn’t something she’d soon forget. Sometimes a person is smart enough to be completely stupid, or at least think everyone else is. For example, hitting above your weight by trying to scam the wrong person out of money by using a certain new gadget to try to bleed them dry. Oh ho ho! They’d soon caught her after that. Surprisingly fast, really. Then they’d said they would forget the charges if and only if she did a few little jobs for them. Lucrative jobs. The kind of jobs that made her more money than that little scam or any other she might’ve worked would’ve ever dreamed of… Which inevitably led to this.

But what the others weren’t seeing were the mental calculations working through Honami’s mind. Now, she wasn’t the sort of girl to just up and use her body just to get a little extra cash. No, no, of course not. Bu~ut, that Shinji guy did seem nice enough. Cute face, all that stuff. And he was the son of a NERV commander. And he was pulling in a shi-i-i-it ton of money, which certainly didn’t hurt things….

<hr>
The next morning, Shinji found himself standing at the head of a classroom, introducing himself to the students within. There were but two empty desks within this room. One by the window, the other more towards the door. He looked out over the class, deep in thought. What was it Misato had said? An education is still important, and so is the opportunity to interact with others his own age. Something like that. So here he was. Surrounded by more strangers. But even as he took his seat several questions naturally arose rather quickly in his mind.

Why here? Why this school? There didn’t seem to be anything particularly special about it, yet there was something not quite right here. Something he could almost taste. Something…

A few days later, and he was still rolling it around in his mind. He’d tried speaking to some of them, discovered that many of them had parents whose jobs had tied them directly to NERV. Was that the answer? Well, it would’ve probably wound up that way no matter what. After all, most of the more sensible members of the civilian population would’ve run like the forces of hell were after them. It wasn’t like those old Godzilla movies, where people decided to hang around Tokyo when monsters just. Kept. Showing. Up. To rampage through their city time and time again. For most people once would be enough, thankyouverymuch. Or maybe it was something to do with their mothers? Apparently none of them had a mother… At least none that he’d talked to. All dead or missing, or they never really knew her. Weird coincidence that was probably anything but. He waited, and planted a few careful seeds about the truth here and there. Let the gossip build up, let it spread around the school, then reluctantly admit it. That was the best way to get this sort of news out.

However, one particular morning things did change just a little bit. Rei was back in school, mildly confirming that suspicion, and that teacher was droning on about the same lecture he’d been giving since Shinji’s first day, but then…

"Is it true that you are the pilot of that robot? Y/N"

The computer screen’s message almost seemed like a funny joke. Though by now his mind was perfectly willing to latch on to anything. Literally anything at all. Anything would be more interesting than hearing this drivel again. How were these others still sane after being here even longer than him? It simply didn’t fit! At least Rei had a view. One she was apparently enjoying quite a bit from that smile and the way she kept sighing.

Oh yes, Rei was quite the oddity. Let out of the hospital at long last and settled right in with the rest of them. The bodyguards were all glad to see her, but Rei seemed kind of… What would be the right way to say it… Private? He’d barely had the chance to talk to her, and she left each morning long before he did. Avoiding him? Possibly. Shy? Another possibility. The others didn’t know her at all either, so -

So forget about that for the time being. Answer the question, and answer it honestly. Y. E. S.

No sooner had he hit “enter” than every single student in the room swamped him, or at least that’s what it felt like. Look at them. Those eager, enthusiastic faces. Bursting with admiration, aching with questions.

“How were you selected?”

“Were there any examinations?”

“Were you frightened?”

“What was the cockpit like?”

Social status: Obtained. Mercifully the teacher was really not paying attention at all to the rather loud and obvious questions, though the class president seemed hardly impressed at all with the sudden disruption. Eh. He’d have to apologise for that one later on, and kind of mean it too. After all, he’d expected this sort of thing to happen after class, not during it!

The bell rang, and Shinji excused himself as quickly and cooly as possible. “I’m sorry, but I have to keep those kinds of things secret. You understand, right? It’s not the sort of thing we can give out to just anyone.”

‘Must… Resist… Urge… To Strut…’ Shinji thought. Oh ho ho, yes, opportunities ripe for the picking. Don’t make the move yet. No. Wait until the next attack, kick its ass, then let ’em swoon over how brave he is. It’ll mean so much more when they live through it again, knowing who exactly it is saving all their asses.

It was actually surprisingly easy finding a quiet spot to eat lunch. A little out of the way spot around back. Yeah, things were going pretty well for him these days. Sure, it’d been a while since he’d gotten any action, but Shinji could be patient. Good things come to those who wait, right? Fools rush in. Take your time, set the foundations and reap greater rewards for it in the end.

“’Scuse me, mister transferee,” said a voice behind him. Shinji stood up, turned around, expecting some question or other about Eva that he’d have to refuse to answer… And got popped. Right in the mouth. For a moment he lay sprawled on the ground, not really sure what had just happened.

“Sorry about that, transferee,” said a boy quite a bit taller and more athletically built than Shinji. He was wearing a tracksuit rather than the standard uniform. “I won’t be satisfied until I - Yow!”

And all of a sudden, he was lying face down right at Shinji’s feet. Another boy, this one wearing glasses, goggled at the sight as though unsure how to feel about this but deciding he’d think it was kinda cool for the time being. Shinji dusted himself off, got back to his feet and sighed a little bit.

“You can let go of him, Sumie. I think you’re being a bit overprotective, you know?”

“If I were being overprotective, he’d never have even had the chance to punch you,” Sumie said, reluctantly letting go of the tracksuit-clad boy. “And if his friend doesn’t stop staring at my ass, he might get a taste of the same treatment!”

“S-Sorry, miss! You must be his bodyguard or something, right?”

Sumie huffed and rolled her eyes before turning to scowl at the boy. “Name, please,” she said, grabbing hold of his collar. “And explain why you just punched someone you know for a fact to be a pilot.”

“Toji Suzuhara,” the boy said, rather a lot less afraid than he should be. He was more… angry than anything else. “Because of that idiot, my sister’s in hospital! She was buried under rubble because he was so clumsy! If not for me, she might have died!”

“That’s all?” Sumie said, and Shinji could see what she was about to say forming in her mind. Because in some ways he was thinking it too. If he had done nothing at all then the Angel would’ve done much worse. If she had been in the shelter like she was supposed to be, this wouldn’t have happened. Injuring the only one currently able to stop those rampaging monsters isn’t such a smart thing to do if another one showed up before he recovered… And perhaps a dozen other rational arguments he could not currently think of to illustrate how stupid this action was.

But that’s the problem. Toji wasn’t being rational. He was being human. He was reacting emotionally to someone hurting someone he cared about. Rational arguments would only serve to make him feel angrier, for similar reasons to why rational arguments won’t usually change a person’s mind on a strongly held belief. His reaction would be the same. Double down. Get angrier. Get angrier at him, and even angrier still when he realised he couldn’t lay a hand on the careless idiot he blamed, and -

And it was like an epiphany. Here he’d been trying to use his once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to score a lot of sex or put one over on his old man. What the hell were his priorities like?

“No, Sumie. Let him go,” Shinji said. She gave him a funny look but did as he asked. “You want to hit me again? I deserve it.” Even if not for the reasons Toji was thinking. Yeah. Sure. He had it coming. Worse, maybe. This was not a situation to be exploited. Dammit, that’s the kind of bullshit Dad did!

Toji balled his fists, obviously considering it for a moment but still very wary of the tall presence standing just five feet away. Glowering at him just as Toji was glowering at Shinji.

“Screw it, not worth my time,” Toji said, spinning on his heel to march back into school. “Last thing my sister needs is me being arrested or winding up in hospital next to her.”

Yeah. That was the last thing she needed. The two boys slunk back inside, and only when they were gone from sight did Shinji rub his face where it had been struck. Ooh. Still a bit sensitive.

“Sumie… Do I get paid for being a pilot?”

“It is my understanding that you do,” Sumie replied. “But I am not aware of how much. Apparently Chisato found out somehow, but I do not know how.”

Alright. In that case, when his first pay cheque arrived… Probably best to talk this through with Misato, as she’ll have a better understanding of what he needed to do to make this work…

But there was no time for that. His phone rang. And there was only one number he knew of that had it. With a look across towards Sumie, she simply nodded her head towards a nearby fence and helped him hop over it before leaping over herself.

“There you are!” Honami said leaning out of a car window. “Looks like my tracking device is bang on! Come on, let’s get you to base. Time for you to play big damned hero again!”

Big damned hero. Yeah. He was a damned hero alright. Or rather… Maybe it was about time he started acting like it?

<hr>
The school was evacuated quickly enough, but in the shuffle it was easy for the agents planted within the grounds to give a little leeway for Rei to slip out as well in all the confusion. She was grateful. Being stuck in a room with all of them was a thought she didn’t much care for. In such close proximity with so many people… So many <i>people</i> all around her… It made her skin itch.

She was better now. Really. She was. The sensitivity had dropped significantly enough that she could probably watch some hardcore porn (which did sound like a fun investment of time) without feeling overwhelmed by the experience. She had control over her faculties. She had control. She was in control.

Didn’t stop her feeling horny, though.

Oh, but this was a new experience. Misato and Honami had talked about this when they thought she wasn’t paying attention, but she’d never really felt it before. The two of them had sort of giggled and sighed, thinking about fun times in the past, then maybe asking Rei if she had any crushes. Her answer was always no. The mating urge wasn’t a problem she’d had to contend with. But now… Now it was like she’d had a taste of something forbidden and exciting. She wanted more. Yet she knew she shouldn’t want more. This was why she had locked herself away. She had decided not to tempt herself. She would pick her own time to sate these urges. If it meant avoiding the Commander’s son, holing up in her room and doing nothing at all, then so be it.

For now there was an alarm blaring throughout the city, warning of an impending Angel attack. So she climbed into the back seat of the car waiting for her, and immediately realised she had somehow been so distracted that she’d accidentally(?) crawled onto the lap of the Commander’s son.

“Aw, it’s sweet you two found each other,” Honami said, “But now is hardly the time. There’s an Angel out there, and it needs a-killing!”

Rei turned around to face her fellow pilot, who gave her a polite smile and helped her into a seat that was actually empty. For the first time that she could remember, Rei mentally kicked herself for such foolish behaviour. How had she failed to notice him sitting there? Had she done it deliberately due to these peculiar new feelings? Unknown to her, this was just another form that guilt sometimes takes. Not fully understanding or comprehending exactly why one has performed in a certain way, not quite grasping the truth about themselves and their behaviour.

What was worse, she was still dwelling on this even though they honestly had much bigger concerns to deal with right now. Her own personal issues were unimportant on that particular scale. Not when there was an Angel about to attack the city.