Story: Love Normal: New Manager

Here is the second of this week's winners. I hope you enjoy them both. Now I have to get to Tainted Cube, which will be tricky as it means resisting the allure of my Christmas haul.


Judging by the time on the clock from when I woke up as compared to the time when I arrived at the inn, I cannot have been asleep for a particularly long period. Even so, in slumber time has little meaning. Time within dreams means little, but then again so too does meaning itself lack any substance. A dream can simply begin with opening a door from the living room out onto the surface of the moon for a round of space-golf, and the unconscious mind does not even blink.

The reason for that is easy enough, at least according to that psychology textbook I wound up reading. How did it go again? Dreams are nothing more than a series of images conjured by our slumbering minds, and they don’t actually mean anything until we wake up and start trying to make sense of them. Something like that. If that is accurate, it makes sense that time wouldn’t mean anything. After all, any sense of time passing is simply our own attempts to understand our sleeping mind filling in the gaps. Gaps formed by images conjured by our unconscious, images formed of memories and desires and fears.

There was a narrative of sorts echoing throughout my dream, and it can’t be particularly surprising to see what the common threads were. I saw myself surrounded on all sides by naked, beautiful women who were quite thoroughly naked. I know, I already said that, but the point deserves beleaguering. There was no trace of the stammering idiot I know I am in reality. This was a confident man, cool as ice. Charming. Friendly. Seductive. Happy.

“I think he’s waking up,” a voice said. A girl’s voice. Vaguely familiar.

“Thank goodness!” another girl said. “Su, you shouldn’t play so rough with our guests in future, alright?”

“Aw, but he was so much fun!” a heavily accented girl’s voice said. I could hear her bouncing around and laughing. Oh god, I remembered her then! That little demon with the toy tank army!

“That may be true, but I doubt my nephew could take another game,” Auntie Haruka said. “Oy, wake up already!” she said. Water struck my face, and I bolted upright in shock. “Much better,” Haruka said.

Finally! A sane person!

“Hello, Auntie!” I said, earning a bop on the head and an admonishment that she preferred not to be called “auntie”, thank you very much. I ignored this, having heard the sentiment before, and concentrated on why I was here. “Have you seen Granny at all? I was hoping to ask if I could stay here, and -”

“What’s that?” A girl with long, auburn hair angrily interjected. The name filtered in through distant memory. Naru. “You can’t stay here! This is a girl’s dorm! We can’t let a man stay here!”

I gaped at her. Partly because she was rather pretty, but mostly because within the hour I had seen her without a stitch of clothing upon her curvaceous form, and she hadn’t complained one iota. While I agreed with the sentiment that a man shouldn’t stay in a girl’s dorm, there did seem to be some sort of significant contradiction present.

I also took the time to have a better look around the room. I saw the various girls I had encountered shortly before my state of unconsciousness. Including one that was still completely naked and not trying to cover herself in the slightest bit. Upon noticing my stare she glowered at me, and I wilted.

“I’m afraid she’s right, Keitaro,” Haruka said. “This place is a girl’s dorm these days, so it wouldn’t be right for you to stay here. Except, of course, that your grandmother appears to want you to take care of the place while she’s on vacation.”

“Oh,” I said. The weight of the world descended upon my shoulders, and I caught a glimpse of the true depths of the hopelessness of my situation. There could be no denial over this. No amount of self delusion could dig me out from this hole, and I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes. “That’s a shame. I suppose I’ll have to return home after all, and - Wait, run that by me again?!”

“She sent a fax a little while ago,” Haruka said. She passed me the paper, and I read through it with utter disbelief. It wasn’t possible, but there it was. Her signature was on it and everything. I would be the manager of a girl’s dorm! What?!

“Let me see that!” Naru said, snatching the paper out of my possession. She squinted at it as if daring it to tell her what it said. Ultimately she had little recourse but to relent to reality. “But… but this is ridiculous!” Naru finally declared. “We can’t just let some guy stay here! It’s one thing for him to bathe with us, but another thing entirely for him to actually live here!”

“Yes, I agree!” the naked girl said, and I goggled in disbelief. What the hell was going on here? “It’s perfectly normal for a young man to bathe with us in the hot spring, but not quite as normal for him to stay here. It is a girl’s dormitory, after all. We cannot permit simply any man to stay here, regardless of relation to Granny Hina!”

“Well, he’s not just <i>any</i> man,” Haruka said. “After all, he is attending Tokyo University by now. Isn’t that right, Keitaro?”

“Tokyo University?!” all of the girls yelled at once, and then they devolved into a gaggle of chatter.

“Oh my goodness, that’s so impressive!”

“What’s a Tokyo University? How does it taste?”

“Did you hear that Naru? Sounds like you have a free tutor for a manager!”

“Sh-shut up, Mitsune!”

“And he’s cute, too! Eh? I saw the way you were checking him out in the bath earlier.”

“A respectable institution like that would not simply let in anyone. If he needs a place to stay, I have no objections.”

“Will you all just shut up already?!” Naru yelled. “Alright, alright! He can stay, so long as he doesn’t cause any trouble! Got it?”

Well, that did sound reasonable enough at the time. Except of course for the simple fact that by the end of the week, everyone’s definition of “trouble” would wind up meaning something quite different than what they thought it did at the start.
<hr>
<b>Mitsune Konno</b>

My my, what an eventful day it had been! A new manager. A new male manager. A new kind of cute male manager that appeared to get easily flustered around attractive women. Goodness me, but the potential was simply endless!

I prowled through the corridor, trying to pick my moment while planning out exactly what to do when the moment arrived. That was when it happened. My foot arrived atop something that made me jump, and when I went down to examine it -

“Ah ha, what’s this? Looks like an earring! Hrm. Bit plain. Clip-ons? Not my usual style, but what’s life without a little experimentation in style? It would be a waste to ignore a find like this. And what do you know? There’s the other one!”

I clipped them on without a second thought, and just in the nick of time. There he was. The man of the day. Keitaro Urashima, new manager of Hinata House. Poor boy looked bedraggled, doubtlessly attempting to prove to himself and to the others that he was worthy of staying here after all.

He stumbled into the manager’s room, and I followed him in there after a moment to find him standing on the balcony talking to himself. I crept up with the intention of finding out a little more about the man now staying here.

“It really has been a long time since I’ve talked to girls like this, so maybe they do usually behave this way…” he said. “To think, it’s been fifteen years since I saw my childhood sweetheart…”

“Who was your first sweetheart?” I innocently asked, expecting him to jump out of his skin at my silent approach.

No such luck. He just turned around, blinked a little, gave a friendly smile and said “Oh. Hello, Mitsune. I didn’t hear you come in.”

Hmph! No such luck there, but still… “You remembered my name?” I said, taking the time to grope his junk in the traditional greeting. “It’s Mitsune Konno, but people call me Kitsune for short.” Hm, perhaps I could rattle him a different way? “So, a Tokyo University student is still mystified by women?”

“W-Well, about that Tokyo University thing, I’m not really -”

“Oh, I know!” I interrupted.

“You do?”

“Of course! I suppose intelligence isn’t enough to understand other people, eh? Come on, sit down, maybe I can help you unlock those mysteries and then maybe you can get yourself a girlfriend. After all, even a Tokyo University student like you is still a young man with hormones and drives.

“Well then, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”

He seemed to consider it for a moment, then shrugged and sat down. “Well, it’s just that… neither you or Naru seemed to mind when you noticed me in the hot spring with you. Is that… Is that normal?”

“Of course!” I replied. What a silly question. “There’s nothing strange about a young man getting into a hot spring with two attractive young women. Why would there be?”

“… I suppose you’re right,” he said uncertainly. “I guess it seemed a little weird until I heard you put it that way, but yeah, I guess that makes pretty good sense.”

It was time to move in for the kill. If he was related to Granny Hina and going to Tokyo University, he must surely be loaded with cash. Ripe for the picking! I grabbed his hands and went for the throat, at least metaphorically speaking. “Say, Keitaro. Do you have a girlfriend? I only ask because… I’ve dreamt of dating a Tokyo University student for a while now!”

Await the flustered reaction, then pretend to be embarassed by the ‘accidental revelation’… Come on… Stop staring like that. Say something, idiot!

“I guess that makes sense,” he said at last. “After all, you have to be pretty smart to get into Tokyo University, so it’s only natural a pretty girl like you would be attracted to someone like that.”

… Gah! What was this?! How the <i>hell</i> did he turn the tables like that! No! Traitorous cheeks! Stop blushing! Just because the cute Tokyo University student said you were pretty is no reason to develop a crush on him!

“I- I bet you say that to all the girls!”

“I don’t really talk to girls that much,” he said. “They all thought I was weird and avoided me.”

At around that point I made a noise deep in my throat that sounded like a strangled gurgle. After all, it’s not every day you learn what it’s like to kick a puppy. A three-legged puppy at that. He was so helpless and genuine! He obviously hadn’t interacted with girls as everything in his body language indicated he was telling the truth in that sense. Which meant that he was being sincerely charming and doing it by complete accident!

“What do you think of me?” I asked, tenderly grabbing hold of his wrist in a by now desperate attempt to obtain control over the situation. “Feel my beating heart, and then understand how I feel about you.”

I drew his hand towards my left breast, and let it rest there for a moment. It was the strangest thing. I could see a little tent forming in his trousers as the two of us sat there, but he didn’t say anything or do anything but sit there like he was just some stupid statue.

“Very nice,” he said after a moment of pointed staring on my part, which he must have picked up on. “I mean, it’s a nice breast. Not that I have any standards to judge by, but -” he gave an experimental squeeze. “Yes, this is quite nice. Thank you.”

I gaped at him. Quite nice, thank you? What sort of response was that supposed to be? Accidentally charming had given way to his experience with women, quite thoroughly confirming my earlier belief that he was telling the truth.

“Quite nice, thank you?!” I yelled, squeezing his hand tighter towards my chest. “What sort of response is that? You’re acting as if it was perfectly normal for a girl to let a man grope her any time he wants.”

Suddenly the door burst open and in came Naru and Motoko, one brandishing a sword and the other brandishing her fists. Given the option of facing the two mighty weapons, I’d probably take the sword. Though it was admittedly a close thing.

“What’s going on in here?” Naru asked pointedly. I took Keitaro’s hand off my breast and feigned shock. “Is our new manager bothering you, Mitsune?”

It was a matter of moments to gear up the crocodile tears. Time to shift the blame onto mister charming over there. “Wah, he kept on saying ‘Can I? Can I?’ while reaching for my breasts, and -”

I looked up to see if it was working as intended, and fell on my ass upon seeing our new manager casually groping Naru and Motoko at the same time. It was like watching a man pick up a sign reading “Giant Lizards Should All Die Slowly” on one side and “I Steal Gold From Stupid Monsters” on the other, then douse himself in oil and march into a cave as naked as Motoko on a summer’s day. And then spit in the dragon’s eye.

And neither of them were so much as flinching. Could anyone blame me for staring up in slack-jawed wonder? Before today I would have bet that any man attempting this would have regretted the day they were born, but here stood Keitaro Urashima actively groping two of the biggest pervert haters I’ve ever met with nary a reaction from either of them.

What the hell was going on around here?

Keitaro notices the earrings and asks for them back.
Mitsune realises what’s going on, and decides to use the earrings to her own ends.
Mitsune keeps the earrings, remaining oblivious to what she's causing.
The earrings are given to someone else.
Something else