Story: Haruhi Titnosis

 

This much fun should be illegal. Actually, it probably was. Here I am, the brilliant, one of a kind Haruhi Suzumiya with an absolutely enormous pair of tits, blanking the brain of the pretty, adorable and all around clumsy girl Mikuru Asahina with the mere sight of them. It's absurd, right? Ridiculous, right? I'd sure thought so upon discovering the book! I'd thought so when exposing Kyon to them! But it had felt so <i>fucking</i> good seeing his brain melt that it honestly made me a tiny bit suspicious.

"They're amazing, aren't they?" I asked, using my left hand to lift up my left tit for her perusal. Her eyes immediately crossed. "You know, it's funny. When I touch them... when they're looked at... It feels incredible. Like I'm being rewarded for letting other people experience their sheer perfection. You understand?"

"Yes Mistress anything you say mistress~" Mikuru burbled. I patted her on the head and hummed thoughtfully.

"You know, I was super jealous of you for a while there~" I whispered in her ear. "That cute body! That pretty face! I thought for sure that Kyon would go for you instead of me, but now?" I flicked my hair back. "Hohoho! Who is Queen Bitch now! Ah, but you can't say any of that to him. It's our little se~e~cret!"

"Yes mistress anything you say please let me touch your tit~" Mikuru begged, pleaded, down on her hands and knees, so I patted her head yet again.

"Ah! But in all fairness, I really should give you and Yuki hypnotits too!" I tutted. "It's a really useful ability, all laid out in this strange book I found -"

And that's where it hit me. I had been having way too much fun. Something about it, the rush of power. The sensitivity of these enormous tits, the feeling I had whenever someone obeyed my commands without thinking, the glassy look in their eyes - 

I hadn't discovered this myself. Someone had written it down in a book that I happened to find.

Which meant that someone else knew about it. Knew enough about it to write it down. Huh! That's really weird, now that I was thinking about it. Now, I'll grant - titnosis is not the sort of thing you go public with, if you could help it, but even so...? If a normal (if brilliant) girl like me could find this book, then why, oh why, hadn't anyone else?

It was confusing. Baffling. A complete mystery on top of mysteries!

"You know, now that I think about it," I mused aloud. "If titnosis exists, then surely other forms of sexually oriented superpowers exist as well." That was certainly a thought. Here it was. Proof that the supernatural was real. It was stupid. It was sexy. But it was hard, tangible (squishy, perfect) evidence.

I started to pace the floor, while playing with my tits. Obviously. It helped me think to have them sitting in the palms of my hand, within easy reach where I could squeeze and play with them to my heart's content. Over and over again, rolling them around, it really helped get the old creative juices flying.

"Why write it down in a book like this...?" I wondered aloud. "What reasons would they have? A title like that as well! The Secrets of Titnosis... It almost sounds like a -"

Cult. The word stuck in the back of my throat. Oh! Now, that's an interesting thought.

"I can kinda see that," I continued. "A cult devoted to big perfect gorgeous titties, that melt the brain of the unwary turning them into your eager to please puppets!" I pinched my nipples, and began fiddling with them in between my thumb and index finger. Ah~ How nice~ "I can see it now! Kukuku, they find someone in power and flash them. Pull their faces into their tits like this!"

I reached out, grabbed the back of Asahina's head and pulled her in. Not that it was necessary, she was practically leaning in herself. Soon enough her face was ensconced within my cleavage, and you'd better believe she wasn't going anywhere in a hurry!

"Then they brainwash them," I said, cradling the back of her head while rolling my shoulders around and around. "Turn them into their slaves. Eager to fund them, support them, give them whate~ever they ask for."

"Mmmm~" Asahina moaned. Then her hands reached up to grab my tits, and - Yipes! That felt far too good! It felt like my own brain was starting to melt from these ministrations!

"And - And then!" I huffed. "If - If someone were to st-stumble upon the book, they might use it and - Oooh~ They might misuse it! Sort of like how the CIA floated around fake bomb making instructions that explode while you're in the middle of making them! "Those devious bastards! Ohhh, I'm losing my mind to pleasure! If I'm not careful they'll - they'll turn me into tone of them before I know what's happening!"

Most people would have surrendered already. Most people would have been overwhelmed by the pleasure. Most people weren't Haruhi Suzumiya! I'll grant, if it had gone on for even a moment longer I would have given in, but my brilliant brain had already deduced the perfect way out.

I pulled Asahina's face out from between my tits. "Asahina!" I said. Then gulped. Kyon might look at her again, instead of me... "You get turned on by shipping me with Kyon! Got it?!"

"Yes... That's so hot!" Mikuru replied. Alright. Time to go for it. I shoved the book into her face.

"You are to read this book, and then use titnosis... To make sure I don't succumb to any dumb cults!"

That was all I could manage before falling to the floor, tongue hanging from my mouth, my tits becoming the focus of my world. It was impossible. It didn't make any logical sense. No matter how I groped and squeezed each time felt better than the last. There surely weren't enough pleasure sensing nerves in the human body to make it feel like this! There weren't enough atoms in the human body to produce this amount of dopamine!

I really, really wanted to have sex with Kyon right then. Hell, I'd settle for a threesome with Mikuru. Or maybe just Mikuru? Ohhh, this thing was messing with my head, I know I'm straight. Maybe? Maybe I'm bisexual with a preference for men? 

My thinking was interrupted when I felt sheer perfection land atop my face. It cut off my breathing, but instead filled my nose with the most delightful scent I'd ever smelled. Opening my eyes and slowing down my titty masturbation, I realised that I was now sitting directly underneath the cleavage of Mikuru Asahina, titnosis user.

"Mmm~" Mikuru adjusted her pose. I couldn't see her face from down here, but even if I could, I wouldn't be focusing on it. It was weird. Her tits were already so big. It felt like the only real change was the shape, making them even more magnificent than they already were. "Hehehehe~ Miss Suzumiya~ Lets find Kyon right away, shall we?"

=====

Haruhi Suzumiya has the ability to manipulate reality. Though it is in a rather peculiar way. She has to believe it to be possible. She won't spontaneously make it rain pudding because she's hungry, but she will make it so that the cafeteria is selling the kinds of pudding that she likes, just because. 

She had brought into existence time travellers, aliens and espers (supposedly) because she believed them to be possible, but that also meant that they had to have specific rules that made sense to her, even if to nobody else. And now, she knew full well that supernatural powers existed in reality.

That, dear readers, is not a good thing. It is, in point of fact, a very bad thing. It is exactly the sort of thing that her SOS Brigade prayed never, ever happened. Why? Because it opened doors. It let her realise that other things she would not have accepted before as possible, were now possible. If she'd seen a real life dragon, then there might suddenly be a whole swarm of them descending upon every nation of the Earth. 

Now, pay attention to the previous scene. Don't get too distracted by the internal view of Haruhi fondling herself with her knockers thrice the size as usual.

...

Hey! I said don't get distracted by that! I know, it's very distracting, but - Hey! I see you there, heading off into dreamland! Focus, please! Gosh, you're simply impossible sometimes!

The point of the matter is, Haruhi had convinced herself that a cult devoted to using titnosis to get power, money and influence must surely exist as the only rational explanation for why a functioning book titled Secrets of Titnosis existed, and yet at the same time, she'd not heard of titnosis before finding the book, and yet she'd found the book at random out in public.

Those three factors (technically four, if you count the fact that titnosis actually works as a fact separate from that the book exists) came together to form the conclusion. Therefore; Since Haruhi believed it, and she knew that titnosis was possible...

Suddenly there was a group of four insanely stacked women, standing in a dark room with hooded robes, wondering how they got there. I'm sure this won't cause any problems! No sir!