The student council room at Ashford Academy was unusually quiet, save for the furious scribbling of a pen against paper. Shirley Fenette, eyes alight with determination, scrawled notes into a notebook labeled "Top-Secret Harem Operations" while Kallen Stadtfeld sat across from her, arms crossed, looking both amused and deadly serious. An appropriate air for what they were engaging in.
"Alright," Kallen said, leaning forward, "so we both agree that this whole harem idea with Lelouch and C.C. is happening."
Shirley nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! But something’s missing."
A dramatic pause. Then, as if lightning had struck her brain, Shirley gasped and slammed her hands on the table. "Milly! She belongs in this harem!"
Kallen smirked. "Exactly! But how do we get her in? She’s too busy… Millying around."
The verb "to Milly" had, over time, become an accepted phrase within Ashford’s social circles. It meant to cause absolute chaos while somehow remaining effortlessly charming and entirely oblivious to said chaos.
"We need a plan!" Shirley declared, flipping through her notebook. "Something foolproof! Something genius!"
"Something chaotic enough to actually work," Kallen added, stroking her chin.
A moment of silence fell between them, both girls lost in thought. Then, as if the heavens had bestowed upon them divine wisdom, Shirley suddenly began scribbling furiously.
"I have it!" she exclaimed, holding up the notebook dramatically. "We shall deploy—The Seductive Invitation!"
Kallen raised an eyebrow. "Go on."
Shirley flipped the notebook around, revealing the hastily scrawled title: ZANY SCHEME #1: THE SEDUCTIVE INVITATION.
"It’s simple! We write an anonymous, elaborately-worded love letter and slip it into Milly’s locker. We tell her she’s been specially selected for the ‘Lelouch Vi Britannia Appreciation Club’—which is just our harem in disguise! And we sign it with a mysterious ‘X’ to make it more intriguing!"
Kallen considered it for a moment, then grinned. "That… actually has a chance of working." Though she was a bit concerned about the #1 part, as that implied there would be a #2.
"Of course it does! It’s elegant, mysterious, and dramatic—everything Milly loves!"
"Alright, but it has to be convincing," Kallen warned. "She’ll see through anything half-baked."
Shirley nodded solemnly and picked up her pen. "Dear Lady Milly," she began writing, "your presence is requested in the grand court of our dearest, most noble vice president, Lelouch Lamperouge. There, you shall partake in the most exclusive of affections, the most sacred of bonds…"
Kallen peeked over Shirley’s shoulder and nodded approvingly. "That sounds so Milly. She’ll eat it up."
Little did they know, their carefully crafted plan was about to backfire in the most spectacular way possible...
====
The next morning, Kallen and Shirley waited in tense anticipation near Milly’s locker, watching from behind a conveniently placed potted plant. Shirley clutched her notebook tightly, while Kallen stood with arms crossed, a smirk of confidence on her face.
"She’s coming!" Shirley whispered excitedly as Milly strolled down the hallway, humming a jaunty tune to herself.
Milly reached her locker, spun the dial without even looking, and popped it open in a single fluid motion. A rain of confetti inexplicably fell from inside. Neither Kallen nor Shirley had put it there.
Milly giggled. "Oh, past me, you always know how to keep life entertaining." She then noticed the carefully folded love letter perched delicately atop her textbooks. "Ooh, what’s this? A love letter? How scandalous!"
Shirley clasped her hands together. "She’s reading it! She’s falling for it!"
Milly unfolded the letter and read it aloud, her voice taking on an overly dramatic tone: "'Dear Lady Milly, your presence is requested in the grand court of our dearest, most noble vice president, Lelouch Lamperouge. There, you shall partake in the most exclusive of affections, the most sacred of bonds…’"
She gasped loudly, her eyes sparkling. "This. Is. Amazing!"
Kallen and Shirley fist-bumped behind the plant. "It’s working!" Kallen whispered.
Then, to their horror, Milly didn’t look remotely suspicious or intrigued. Instead, she pulled out her phone and, in record time, fired off a mass message to the entire student body.
"Big news, everyone! This Friday will be the first ever Lelouch Lamperouge Appreciation Festival! Dress code: formal royalty! Expect elaborate confessions, dramatic monologues, and, of course, a crown contest. See you all there!"
The ding of dozens of students receiving her text echoed through the halls. Gasps, excited chatter, and even a faint, horrified "Why me…" from somewhere down the corridor signaled the inevitable storm to come.
Kallen and Shirley, still frozen in place, slowly turned to look at each other.
"This is… not what I expected," Shirley admitted.
Kallen facepalmed. "We should’ve known she’d Milly her way through it."
Across the hallway, Milly stretched, pocketed her phone, and cheerfully sauntered off to her next class, entirely unaware of the conspiracy that had just exploded in her wake.
=====
Kallen and Shirley sat slumped in the student council room, staring blankly at the whiteboard now filled with increasingly desperate flowcharts. Their first attempt had backfired spectacularly, and instead of subtly roping Milly into their harem, they had inadvertently created a school-wide festival in Lelouch’s honor.
Shirley groaned, burying her face in her hands. "We have to salvage this! We’re losing control of the operation!"
Kallen tapped a marker against the whiteboard. "Alright, so, new plan. Clearly, Milly’s going to Milly her way through anything indirect. So we need to go bigger—something so blatant that she can’t misinterpret it."
Shirley’s eyes lit up. "I’ve got it! What if we stage a romantic scandal? Something so dramatic, so public, that she has no choice but to be involved?"
Kallen arched an eyebrow. "I like where this is going. Lay it on me."
Shirley grabbed the marker and furiously scribbled across the board: ZANY SCHEME #2: THE SCANDALOUS LOVE TRIANGLE.
Yep, there it was, the dreaded #2.
"Here’s the setup: We get C.C. to make a huge, jealous scene in front of Milly. She dramatically declares that she and Lelouch are in a passionate, forbidden romance—BUT that another woman has been catching Lelouch’s eye. Then, I swoop in, claiming it’s me, and demand that Lelouch choose. But just as it reaches peak drama, Kallen, you’ll burst in and declare that you’re the real rival in this love triangle!"
Kallen smirked. "I like it. It’s ridiculous, over-the-top, and full of unnecessary theatrics. Exactly Milly’s style."
Shirley grinned. "And right at the climax, Milly will have to insert herself to ‘resolve’ the situation, which—boom!—lands her right in the harem!"
The two girls high-fived. "This is it," Kallen declared. "This is the one."
====
The execution of the plan began that afternoon in the courtyard. Milly sat on a bench, sipping a strawberry smoothie, completely unaware of the absurd performance about to unfold before her.
Right on cue, C.C. strode dramatically into view, flipping her long green hair over her shoulder. "Lelouch!" she called, placing a hand over her heart. "How could you betray me like this? After all we’ve been through?"
Lelouch, who had not been briefed on this plan, barely looked up from his book. "What?"
Before he could get another word in, Shirley charged in, pointing a shaking finger at him. "Don’t listen to her, Milly! Lelouch has been mine all along! C.C. is just jealous that he’s realized I’m the one he truly loves!"
Lelouch’s expression went from confusion to sheer horror. "Excuse me?!"
"Oh, please!" C.C. scoffed. "You? He only talks to you about swimming techniques. I’m the one he shares his darkest secrets with!"
Just as Milly raised an eyebrow, Kallen stormed in, looking downright furious. "You’re both wrong! If Lelouch belongs to anyone, it’s me! After all, we’ve been through the fire of battle together! That’s a deeper bond than either of you could ever understand!"
A crowd had begun to gather. Phones were out. Lelouch looked like he was mentally preparing to fake his own death.
Milly sucked the last of her smoothie through her straw, still watching intently. "Hmmm…"
This was it. The moment she would get involved. The moment she would—
"Hey, Rivalz!" Milly suddenly called over her shoulder. "What are the odds on this love triangle?"
Rivalz, who had been live-tweeting the debacle, checked his phone. "Right now, C.C. is the favorite, but Kallen’s got strong underdog energy. Shirley’s a long shot, but people love an upset!"
Milly clapped her hands together. "Excellent! Let’s start an official betting pool! The winner gets to declare the ‘official’ shipping chart for the school!"
A collective cheer erupted from the students. Within moments, people were exchanging money, writing names on slips of paper, and debating romantic probabilities like sports analysts.
Kallen and Shirley could only watch in horror as their perfectly crafted love triangle scheme had been transformed into a high-stakes schoolwide betting ring.
"She did it again," Shirley whispered, voice hollow.
"She Milly’d right through it," Kallen muttered.
Lelouch, meanwhile, quietly slipped away, mouthing "I hate everything" as he vanished into the shadows.
====
Kallen and Shirley sat in the student council room, utterly defeated. The remnants of their so-called "Scandalous Love Triangle" plan were still circulating around the school in the form of betting slips, and now people were taking sides as if it were some kind of sports tournament.
"This is getting out of control," Shirley groaned, rubbing her temples. "Not only did Milly dodge the harem, but now the entire school is obsessed with making Lelouch pick a winner!"
Kallen leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. "We should’ve seen this coming. The moment Milly’s involved, things never go as planned."
A tense silence settled between them before Shirley suddenly sat up, eyes gleaming with renewed determination. "We can’t give up. If anything, we need a plan that’s so direct, so undeniable, that even Milly can’t derail it."
Kallen narrowed her eyes. "You mean…?"
Shirley slammed her notebook onto the table and flipped it open. "ZANY SCHEME #3: THE DIRECT APPROACH. We just tell Milly, straight-up, that we want her in the harem. No tricks, no schemes, just pure, undeniable honesty."
Kallen blinked. "You think that’ll actually work?"
"It has to! She can’t misinterpret something that simple, right?"
A pause. Then, simultaneously, they both grimaced.
"…Or she could somehow Milly her way through it," Kallen muttered.
"There’s only one way to find out," Shirley declared, standing up. "Let’s do this."
====
The confrontation took place during lunch, with Milly lounging lazily on a bench under a tree, idly snacking on a melonpan. Kallen and Shirley approached her with the energy of two warriors heading into battle.
"Milly, we need to talk," Shirley started, arms folded.
Milly perked up. "Oh? Is this about the betting pool? I was thinking of adding a wildcard option. Maybe a surprise underdog entry?" She gasped. "What if we include Sayoko?!"
Kallen shook her head. "Forget the betting pool! We need to be direct with you. Milly, we want you in the harem."
Milly blinked. Then, after a brief pause, she burst into delighted laughter. "Oh, that’s what this was about? You two could’ve just said so sooner!"
Shirley and Kallen stared. "Wait… what?" Shirley stammered.
Milly beamed. "I mean, obviously, you’ve been scheming something this whole time. It was only a matter of which absurd plot you’d go with. But if you’d just asked me, I’d have said yes ages ago."
Kallen’s eye twitched. "You’re telling me… we could’ve avoided all of this… if we just asked?!"
Milly shrugged. "Probably! But it was fun watching you two scramble." She stretched and hopped off the bench. "Anyway, I’m off to go find Lelouch. He’s going to love this."
Shirley gasped. "Wait, no! Lelouch doesn’t actually want a harem, we just—"
Too late. Milly was already skipping away, humming cheerfully to herself.
Kallen pinched the bridge of her nose. "I feel like we just played ourselves."
Shirley sighed. "We definitely played ourselves."
From somewhere in the distance, a strangled "Why me?!" echoed through the campus.
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