Story: Akane's Quest

 

It had been a pretty slow day at Ucchan's. Honestly, she probably shouldn't have opened up again after coming back from that 'Sexy Kunoichi Cafe', which was an experience that would haunt her nightmares. It was frustrating. Confusing. Pretty scary, too. It left Ukyo wondering, why had that stupid statue sent her there? How would that help her seduce Ranma? The answer - It shouldn't!

Maybe that was what was keeping customers away? They could subconsciously sense Ukyo's bad mood. Probably most of them wouldn't be able to tell you that's what it was if you asked, but she'd bet on that being it. How could things get any worse around here?

The bell over the door rang. Ukyo forced her brightest smile on her face. "Welcome to Ucchan's!" she chirped, and in strolled... a very pretty, elegant woman, about her age. She had her hair in a long, black ponytail. Was tall, slender, carried herself with tremendous poise. Quite the looker. "How can I help you today?"

The woman then rushed to the counter leaned over it and grabbed Ukyo's hands, very quickly. "Master Kuonji! I have fallen in love with you at first sight!" the woman said. "Please, oh please! What must I do to be worthy of your affection?"

Ukyo pulled her hands away, and kept her best smile on her face. "Ahahaha, I'm sorry but I'm really not looking for a relationship right -"

"Woe is me!" the woman wailed, pulling out - was that a shuriken?- and holding it to her throat, point end first. "To be so cruelly rejected by my one true love! My heart shall never recover, etc."

Guh! "W-Wait a minute! Emotional blackmail is no way to make someone like you!" She should know, she'd seen Shampoo try it often enough to absolutely no success. "Look, I'll close up shop, we can discuss this upstairs in private. Okay?"

Ukyo missed the gleam in the young woman's eye as she set about locking the store. She missed how the girl slipped upstairs with quiet ease. Missed the fact that her guard was being deliberately lowered, and that she was locking herself in with an assassin sent to exact revenge upon her for her actions earlier today...

What she didn't miss was a little voice piping up once they were alone.

"Hey! You want that girl to leave you alone, right?" It was the statue. The stupid statue that was meant to be guiding her to a relationship with her one true love. "Listen, I don't actually need to do anything else for you at this point, you're already on the path to shacking up with your one true love."

"Yeah, yeah," Ukyo grumbled. "He'll be in my bed within a week. Somehow." The stupid statue was the reason she'd gone to that cafe hellscape in the first place. "What of it?"

"Well, you might as well pass me off to your new guest," the statue said. "I mean, that is the logical course of action, right? Think about it. I'd help her find her <i>actual</i> one true love- "

"It's not Ranma, is it?" Ukyo asked.

"No, no! Definitely not," the statue said. "I will surely help them find the one they are honestly and truly destined to be with for the rest of their life, and it is undoubtedly not Ranma Saotome."

Ukyo frowned. "You're not gonna try to set me up with her, are you?"

"By her, you mean... Am I intending to set you up with a mysterious woman upstairs?" the statue asked. Ukyo nodded. That was what she was asking. "No. Definitely not. Sorry, I just wanted to be clear on who we were talking about."

Of course, Ukyo hadn't twigged yet that the statue was playing word games with her. There was no 'mysterious woman' upstairs right now. There was a 'mysterious man' who very much appeared to be a woman. Ukyo seemed quite satisfied with this. She'd give the statue as a gift, and then send 'her' off on 'her' merry way, out into the world where 'she' could find the one person 'she' was supposed to fall in love with.

Hrm? What about the effect that turns men into stone if they see this cursed statue...? Well, about that. While Konatsu was biologically male, he actually technically identified as female. That internal identification was entirely sufficient to get around the restrictions, right? Yes, yes, the statue was basically trying to have its cake and eat it at the same time, but - 

You know what? It would do absolutely anything for the sake of love. Or getting two young idiots to knock boots. It amounts to the same thing in its opinion.

As did the fact that, when Ukyo went upstairs to talk with the mysterious stranger, she found her asleep in her bed. A series of nasty looking ninja weapons strewn about on the floor around them.

======

Standing in her room, Akane was expecting to be in a worse mood than she actually was. After all, that little misadventure had ended with her having much, much larger breasts than she had this morning, and oh by the way she'd spent a solid hour with her tongue down Ranma's throat.

That was embarrassing to say the very least. And when she'd thought about her wardrobe... Well, as it turned out that part wasn't so much a worry. All her clothes still fit her now enormous bust. It was obviously the work of the weird sex magic that cult had been working on, but still... It was annoying. Extremely annoying.

And hot.

There it was, the other thing that was getting to her. She was... horny. Ridiculously, over the top horny. Aroused. Turned on. Fidgety, wet, whatever euphemism you wish to attach to it, that was her right there and then. It was obviously the work of the sex magic. She wouldn't normally make out with Ranma like that, and then the walk home...

<i>"So that didn't happen."

"What didn't happen?"

"Exactly! We didn't make out for an hour straight."

"In your dreams, tomboy."

"No, in your dreams, jerk! Hrmph! I bet you wouldn't be half as good at it as you think you would be."

"Oh yeah? That sounds like a challenge!"

"Whatcha gonna do about it? Kiss me?"

"Pft, no, if I did that it would be super obvious we actually wanted to smooch and was using that as cover to do something that <b>didn't happen</b>."

You get the idea. The old routine, bouncing back and forth, back and forth... But the trouble was, this time she could actually feel herself getting flush. Not with anger, but with arousal. Intense, piercing arousal that grew worse and worse the more they bickered. It was stupid. Dumb. Why would she be so sexually attracted to someone she fought with all. THe. Time. That couldn't be a sign of a healthy relationship!

It was the sex magic. Yeah. Definitely. The after effects of bringing down that cult of big boobed maid perverts. If that was true then - then there had to be a way to bring these breasts down to a more normal size, and make herself more capable of controlling herself!

And so, Akane had selected her next quest already. It's almost a shame it's practically doomed to failure, don't you think?