Compared to aliens and demons and all the really weird shit that goes down with this cast of characters, that's pretty mundane. But you're coming back from the shops and you see that? Freaky. Really freaky.
"Please Asuka, won't you reconsider?" Shutaro Mendo yelled at the top of his lungs, desperate to change the girl's mind.
"Don't worry, big brother! I'm sure these lap dancing lessons will be a big help when we get married."
Strip away the context and that's... Well, it's still weird with context, merely less so. Still, the boy had good reason to be afraid. This girl gave hugs the same way that meteors stroke the ground. She was stupid strong, and the idea of dancing with her filled him with almost as much mortal dread as, let's say, dumping a bell over him might. Worse still, due to that strength the only way he had to escape was to beg and plead and throw his pride away and hope he could change her mind before -
"Alright ladies, settle down!"
"Hello there, my name is Shutaro Mendo. Pleasure to meet you."
This is the curse of being Shutaro Mendo. No matter what his survival instincts said, he had to act with decorum in front of the fairer sex. With a few exceptions, of course. Even if he were trapped in a dark closet with them, he could show no fear. His pride would demand no less.
"Ah, but I do believe I have met the pair of you before," he said two the two alien beauties he'd been spying on earlier. Best not to bring that up. "You are Lum's friends, yes? Benten and Oyuki."
"Who are you again?" Benten asked.
"I believe he is the rich brat that is always harassing Lum's fiance," Oyuki coldly said. And then the two of them turned their backs to him, resuming with their lesson.
Mendo felt a part of his soul twist in a curious mix of agony at being so dismissed by a beautiful woman and rage at Moroboshi for clearly turning them against him.
"Pardon me Miss, the class is already in session -" the teacher began. And then Asuka reached into her clothes, pulled out a gold brick as though it were her purse, and placed it in the teacher's hands - "So you have a lot of catching up to do! Although your boyfriend can't stay, it simply wouldn't be right to -" Then she produced another gold brick and placed it on top of the first one. The teacher went bent double, because gold is really heavy. "-To have him leave so soon when class isn't even over!"
Money talks without saying a word. Mendo was tempted to pay her off with even more loose change - but that would result in a spending match between their families. According to the Treaty of Fort Knox, such things were absolutely forbidden as a matter of course. They almost set off World War 3 the last time that happened.
"Now Asuka, the teacher has a good point," Mendo said, while Asuka bit her lip and pushed him into a seat. "It really isn't proper for me to be here -"
"Hrm, let's see... The other girls are doing it like this..." Asuka said.
There's a funny thing about Asuka that's worth noting. She is a pretty girl. Very pretty. She has a really great figure, she's also extremely athletic and dextrous. It's just that she's also monstrously strong. As such, when she began to make those motions with her hips, Mendo's survival instinct took a brief sabbatical.
"Hey, wow, that Asuka chick can really move," Benten remarked from her own position atop Oyuki's lap. An image which, by itself, was making Mendo's brain wander off into various distracted areas. His eyes wander to Benten's thighs, which are shortly thereafter obstructed by Oyuki's hands. Delicate and pale, contrasting with Benten's warmer toned skin. The contrast was -
"So I sit like this?" Asuka asked, and then Mendo's world was pain. Such pain as he had never known. One time he had a toothache, and he had naively thought it was the worst pain imaginable. But no. That pain would be welcome in this moment. It was the kind of pain where he could not tell exactly where it was originating from because it was far too overwhelming, and may well be coming from multiple places at once. It was worse than he had imagined, somehow, and bear in mind that his imagination had conjured something so horrible he had quite literally been raking the pavement with his fingernails to stop himself from experiencing it.
"Now girls, try turning around in your seat and press your back against your partner. Don't forget to grind your hips."
And yet somehow it got worse. You could no longer call this pain. The words 'suffering' and 'agony' no longer held the same meaning to him.
"By the way, just in case anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm really not enjoying myself. Not one bit," Benten said rather unconvincingly. Perhaps it was the fact that she was leaning quite hard back into Oyuki, and grinding her ass like - no, not an erection, not now, not now! It will only cause more misery! Please, anything but -
"Perhaps pole dancing is a bit more your speed?" the teacher suggested. Oh, thank goodness. Asuka stood up, and Mendo slumped back in his chair feeling positively drained. There might just be enough pain killer in all of Japan to help him recover. Or... better still, watching these cute girls pole dancing in front of him might be enough to make the hurting stop.
"Oh, I am terribly sorry Miss Asuka. As you joined late we don't have a pole for you to use."
Why were goosebumps shooting right down Mendo's spine? Such a feeling of foreboding about his immediate future...
"What're you talking about? You got a pole right here!" Benten said, slapping Mendo on his shoulders. She yanked him out of his chair, bringing forth a pathetic whimper. "Go on, why doncha impress us with how helpful to a girl you can be!"
No, no, no, no, no! That would be bad! That would be very bad! If she used him as a pole for the purposes of pole dancing there might not be an unbroken bone in his body by the time she was done! Mendo opened his mouth - then he realised there were several pretty girls staring at him.
"Well, of course, I'll put my dignity aside for a moment to help out in any way that I can."
Noooooooo!
<hr>
It's funny the things you get used to after a bit of time. Case in point, Benten had figured that Mendo's agonised screaming woulda put the girls off their rhythm, but no, they were all getting on with it just fine.
"I've been thinking," Oyuki said while upside down and swinging around her pole. "This behaviour is quite out of character for us. Throw in Mendo's suffering, and it points to one likely culprit."
"Lum's Darling," Benten said. She let out a bored sounding sigh while gripping her pole with her ankle and right hand, then using her left foot to kick off the ground so she could spin around it. "This isn't fun, by the way. It's not fun at all. It's the kinda thing only dorky chicks would enjoy. Not a tough girl like -"
Ah, the feeling of wind in your hair as you whip around. Never gets old.
"Not a tough girl like you?" Oyuki asked. Benten suddenly realised she was smiling, and wiped it off her face in an instant. "In any event, after our lesson here, I do believe we should pay Lum a visit. If he's somehow managed to force us to take these lessons, there's no telling what's going on with - Is that him now carrying the Fujinami girl?"
Benten looked out the window and, sure enough, it looked like Moroboshi wearing some kind of armour carrying the Fujinami chick. Who was wearing a pink fluffy princess dress. Carrying her bridal style.
Then a few seconds later, the Fujinami chick skipped by the window. Wearing a bunnygirl suit, and with a bunch of weird looking dolls in her bust.
"You know what, that sounds like a damned good plan to me," Benten said from her position atop the pole. She let go to pound her fist into her open palm, which resulted in her flipping down, whereupon she landed in a manner that might make Olympic gymnasts swoon with envy. "Might as well bring mister screamer along for the ride. If nothing else, his girlfriend's monstrous strength is probably gonna be handy."
"Yes, it is quite fortunate that human girls are super strong," Oyuki said. Oh yes, the only human women they regularly interacted with were Shinobu, Sakura, and Ryuunosuke. You can see how they might come to the wrong conclusion.
"Will you both be attending next week?" the teacher asked.
"Yes," they both answered right away.
"Not because I enjoyed it or nothing," Benten added quite hastily. "I just, you know, don't like quitting shit that I've started."
Funny thing was, aside from Benten the only person in this room that wasn't thinking that she totally and completely did enjoy it was Mendo, and he was in far too much of a living waking nightmare to come to any sort of conclusion along those lines.
"I'll be here too," Asuka said. "And so will big brother Mendo! I'll be sure to practise lap dancing with him lots and lots."
<font size=”1”>”Please god no…”</font>
<hr>
At that very moment, Ryoko Mendo had been observing some peasant who had, likely through the use of either magic or advanced technology, managed to persuade several of their servants to follow his every order. Which would not do. Would not do at all. Must be something to do with the seat he was on -
And then she felt something that put a smile on her face. Her brother must be suffering somewhere. How wonderful. Ah... but it was a shame she was not directly involved. In the meantime...
"However shall I take that seat from him...?" Ryoko pondered, a devilish smile creeping onto her pretty face.
- Benten and Oyuki catch up with Princess Ryuunosuke and Prince Ataru, quickly identify them as dreamstuff.
- Instead, they head to the Moroboshis to deal with things there.
- Ryoko tries to steal the magic chair.
- Bunny Ryu runs into Sakura. Mischief ensues.
- Something else
No comments:
Post a Comment