"I've got it!" Akane said, smacking her fist into the palm of her hand. "We set him up with Shampoo's great grandmother!"
"Brilliant idea tomboy, also thanks for putting that thought in my brain, it will likely now never leave."
Akane elbowed Ranma hard for that remark. Because now she had the exact same thought going through her mind, and since she had a little more experience with such matters due to this stupid badge - She might never feel clean again.
"How we set this up?" Shampoo asked. Oh! Well, that was a bonus at least. Shampoo working with them instead of against them. That ought to make things at least a little easier. "Great grandmother seem awful lonely sometime, have man in life might help lots."
Ranma puffed out her chest, proud as punch. "Alright, you talk with her. I'll catch the old pervert and set him up on this date!"
"Quit talking like this was your idea, dummy!" Akane huffed. "Besides, if it was that easy to catch him we'd have done it already. At this point, all that'll happen is, he's going to run from you."
"Heh, you forgetting how cute I am in this form?" Ranma said, then adopted a really over the top cutesy pose, the sort a woman wouldn't normally use unless she was specifically appealing to a guy, made her eyes really big and shiny and... Ooof, okay, she was cute like this. Akane was really tempted for a moment there to use her badge on the girl. "He'll come right on up to me like it was no big deal! Hehehe!"
<hr>
Attempt one!
Akane watched through a pair of binoculars, fuming and kicking about as Ranma took off her top and lay down in the sand. For a brief moment she caught sight of the redhead's breasts and fidgeted.
"I swear, that boy has no shame," Akane fussed. "No shame at all. Honestly, she should at least lie down first if she's going to do that to make sure nobody gets a look at her stupid big boobs." She sniffed, and a stray hand went to her own chest. "I bet they're only that big in the first place because of magic. Yeah, that's the trick. It's not like Ranma would have a bust size like that if he really was a girl..."
Looking at Ranma lying down like that, she was having a hard time thinking of a better lure. As much as Akane hated to admit it, that was a hell of a feminine figure.
Idly, Akane wondered if getting hit with water of drowned girl would also improve her figure? The guide had said it would do nothing, but then perhaps he only meant a lack of “change” in the sense of sex.
All of a sudden she realised that her spare hand had been fiddling with the badge. Okay, fine. Maybe... maybe she'd give girl form Ranma an inspection later on.
Ah, hold on! Something was happening! Happosai was bounding into view! Akane raised her hand into the air, and Ranma gave her a discrete thumbs up. Alright, they had the little pervy imp right where they -
"Yahoo!" Happosai cheered, and before Ranma even got up to her feet Happosai had grabbed her top, stuck out his tongue (which was somehow bigger than his body) and licked Ranma from neck to bottom all the way down Ranma's back, provoking a cold chill down Ranma's spine and also, through sympathy, Akane's.
"Hey, you little pervert! Get back here with my top!"
"What a haul, what a haul!" Happosai said. He had a camera now, and was taking pictures of Ranma's naked bouncing chest as she gave pursuit.
"Tsch... Should've known it wouldn't be that easy," Akane said, binoculars drifting over towards Ranma's unfair magically gifted melons. "Hrmph... I'm definitely going to have to give her an inspection later on, no question about it..."
<hr>
Attempt two
Ranma was in a perfectly understandable huff. Ugh! Her back was still moist from getting that unwanted tongue bath! Well, the uncute tomboy said she had an idea for how to lure him in and catch him, so let's see how she fares.
"Oh dear, I need some sunscreen on my back," Akane gasped in an over dramatic fashion. Ranma's hands twitched. For a moment, there was nothing in the universe that she wanted more than to rush on over there and grab that bottle and absolutely destroy her hands with sun lotion so it could be rubbed all over Akane's back.
Th-that was purely because of how helpful Ranma was! Yeah! Besides, Akane's in desperate n-need of making sure her skin is well cared for. That girl was so fragile, surely she would get a sunburn at the slightest bit of stimulation, not Ranma who had travelled across Asia from mountaintops to deserts without any such support!
"Akane Tendo! Permit me to save your skin from the sun's cancerous rays!" Tatewaki Kuno called, emptying the entire bottle into his hands, and in the process earning a dropkick from Ranma and a hard elbow to the gut from Akane. "My pigtailed girl, there is no need for jealousy -"
"Keep your grimy hands to yourself!" Ranma yelled, punting Kuno into the distance.
Where did Kuno come from? Why was he here? Had he been stalking her? These were questions normal people would ask, but for Akane this was a rather straightforward situation. To answer the questions in order, from somewhere probably behind a bush, because he was crazy obsessed, and hell yes of course.
Then Ranma felt something poke at the back of her head, and she stumbled forward right as a familiar voice spoke.
"It's always encouraging to see such young folk care so much about the care of their beautiful, beautiful skin," Happosai said. "But I find that 'hot girl spit' is a much more effective protection than sunscreen! Hoho! What a haul!"
Ranma's tongue fell out of her mouth without her meaning to. Wait... Wait, the way she was falling she was going to - going to - No! Ranma waved her arms around to try and stop herself, or push Akane out of the way, but all she managed to do was wrap her arms around Akane's torso as she did her best impersonation of a falling tree, with Happosai even calling out -
"Timber!"
Right as Ranma's tongue hit the top of Akane's neck and started leaving a trail down her back, until she landed on her knees and had her face planted in Akane's surprisingly soft pillowy ass. Mmf... Just the right mix of muscle and fat... Nice... Wait, no! This wasn't nice!
"Ranma, I'm going to do us both a favour and pretend you didn't just do that," Akane said, cracking her knuckles. "But only if you dislodge yourself in the next five seconds."
Alas, it took six seconds for Ranma to regain enough feeling in her legs and spine to properly extract herself. Though there was a traitorous part of the pigtailed girl that was thinking "worth it!" quite hard.
<hr>
Attempt three.
Great grandmother had been surprisingly easy to persuade to go along with this idea. So far as Shampoo could tell, she must have sensed the loneliness as well, and was likely quite grateful to them for going to this trouble for her.
What was proving more difficult were the other two. Standing back to back to one another, doing the whole 'we are not talking to each other until the other apologises' routine. How weary. At this point even Shampoo was kind of wanting them to just fuck and get it out of their systems, maybe then she'd be able to score with her airen on the rebound...
"So, ask Happosai yet?" Shampoo asked. They both looked at her, and Shampoo could only sigh. "What is the problem? Is not too hard to catch pervy old man."
"If that's so -" Akane began.
"Then why don't -" Ranma continued.
"You do it!" both of them yelled.
Well, alright. If that's what they wanted. It didn't take Shampoo five minutes to set up.
"Wait... that's -"
"A propped up cardboard box with a girly mag under it?"
Shampoo puffed out her chest. The two of them were clearly impressed with her imagination. Or kicking themselves that they didn't think of it first.
"That'll never work!" Akane said. Oh, it was the latter then. "Listen, Happosai's a wily old man. He won't fall for something that obvious -"
"Ooh! The July issue is out?" Happosai asked, sitting under the box and flipping through the magazine without a care. "What a handy place this is, I can sit in the shade and read this wonderful magazine! Wet t-shirt monthly has been quite wonderful of -"
Shampoo tugged a string, the stick holding up the box pulled away, the box fell down and left him trapped.
"No way, that couldn't possibly have worked," Akane said.
"Feh, I bet he's not even inside," Ranma grumbled.
Then the box tipped over, revealing -
- Happosai, still reading the magazine.
- A cat
- Ukyo
- Ryoga
- Something else
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