Sunday, 12 January 2020

Story: Konosuba Succubus Shop


The ultimate moment of triumph for any wizard, mage, sorcerer, witch, or any manner of magic practitioner is the moment they gain their very first apprentice. It means that you have earned respect, a name for yourself, prestige, recognition of power and wisdom. Or at least money and political connections.

Needless to say, but Yunyun was one of the last people on the planet who should be put in charge of an apprentice. For context, a good portion of the list above her were all part of Kazuma's party. Why is that?

"Miss Apprentice! How should I begin teaching you?"

Despite being the daughter of her clan’s leader, Yunyun had all the leadership qualities of an especially craven fungus. Bear in mind that this was a magical world, and that fungus monsters tended to be horrible at dictating tasks to one another. It's why they hadn't taken over the world yet in spite of being quite numerous and fast at breeding.

Suzy the Succubus sighed lightly. It felt like she was standing over a barrel full of fish, and her superior had ordered her to ensure not one got out of there alive. Even a rookie like her would have no trouble at all in corrupting this innocent little thing.

Well... Looking at her clothes, little was the wrong word to use. Going around like that, it almost felt like half her work was already done for her. “Where’d you get this outfit? It’s really cute.” She said.

“A-ah! I was told by some men that it’d make me lots of friends!”

Oh yes, you bet it would. It looked like the half that wasn't done yet involved 'making her realise what that meant' and 'being totally okay with it.'.

"Well boss, I think you should start with some shadowing," Suzie suggested. "Uh, that means I follow you around to see what you do all day. So, what do you want to do first?"

<hr>

The first thing they did was eat breakfast at some crummy bar. Suzie would have rather gone over to the place across the street for a bite to eat - but then she saw a certain Crimson demon with a big pointy hat and a cat slouched over her shoulder wander in, while Yunyun fidgeted with her menu as if trying to work herself up to do something.

Huh, how about that?

“Chef! I crave the nutrients that fuel my dark and forbidden magicks.” The familiar Crimson Demon said.

"Why can't you just ask for pancakes like any other customer?"

"Ah! Favourite breakfast... pancakes!" Yunyun said while furiously scribbling in a notepad. "At last, you've let your weakness slip out, hehehe!"

After that they wandered off to this shop which was being manned by one of the Demon King's top Generals which was an extremely frightening experience for the young succubus.

"Oh gosh, you haven't cut yourself on that paper have you?"

"Eh? No?" Suzie said to her, but then Wiz was on her with a bandage in no time flat. Not even a small one either, it was a big roll of the stuff. Enough to cover her from head to toe. "Gah!"

"Apprentice, please stop bothering the shopkeeper," Yunyun whispered while peering through some shelves, on the other side of which was - once again - a certain Crimson Demon that they had seen earlier on. "Hrm... She's avoiding the blue potions even though they're more effective... Her fingers are brushing slightly against the green potion... but of course, she goes right for the red potion! It must be aesthetic, yes, that's very interesting..."

Well, okay then. Their next stop was the Adventurer's Guild.

"Here I am!" Yunyun said. "Prepared to take my first step on the grandest adventure!"

“Oh, Yunyun, right?” That blond haired bombshell of a Crusader who Suzy had been told was the biggest “in” for the party with that terrible Goddess said. She was the only one who responded to Yunyun’s introduction. "How exciting for you, heading out on a grand adventure for the first time!"

"Ah, well, I was hoping to find an appropriate job to start out with, but unfortunately there aren't any involving defending the city from a falling meteor..."

“That sounds so exciting, to be punished by the heavens themselves…” Darkness clutched at her fork, clearly imagining something very different than a rock falling on her.

Yet weirdly, she wasn't the biggest source of lust in the room. There was one that was slightly bigger, and it was so because the person feeling it was quite deliberately repressing it. That person was the austere and serious looking glasses wearing chick with a nice rack at the back of the room. Suzie licked her lips. The quiet ones were always the real freaks. Something to keep in mind for later on.

“It looks like we’re on our own again, nobody wants to party up with me. Again.”

"It's okay, boss! You've got me this time!" Suzie said. She rubbed the girl's shoulders and pushed her up to the counter. It was tempting to make it a sexual thing, but in front of all these people that would be noticed pretty sharpish. "Come on, since it's just the two of us, let's take this mission here!"

Ten minutes later and she was given a grim reminder. Vore was her second least favourite fetish.

“Booooossssss I don’t wanna be Toad food!” She screamed.

Magic happened nearby. She could tell because there was a blinding flash, and then the toad was split neatly in twain. Leaving her lying there covered in toad gore. Ew. Ew. Ew! This is why she hated vore!

"Ah... I'd always thought I might rescue Megumin using the Light of Saber..." Yunyun wiped tears from her eyes, “I had dreamed about it for ages. She’d be so grateful…”

Corruption vector: Detected. Not that this was especially impressive, you could see this from the moon. All she'd been waiting for was the perfect opportunity to naturally bring it up and - well, she'd be lying if she said this was the opportunity she'd been waiting for given the bits of toad stuck to her body, but it would have to do.

"Ah, is this Megumin your rival?" Suzie said, in the same manner of tone as if she'd implied that Yunyun wanted to fuck her raw. Which she might. (Meanwhile, back in the Crimson Demon village, a particular author suddenly felt like she had a kindred spirit.) "Maybe it would be better if you made up with her. Quite often, where I come from, when rivals make up they become the very best of friends."

Ahaha, look at the way her ears twitched upon hearing that! This was fun! Now to push further.

"In fact, do you know the very best way for rivalries to end where I come from?" Suzie asked. Yunyun leaned in closer, nervously fidgeting with her staff while also making a rather blatant and obvious attempt to, you know, only show interest to be polite rather than real genuine actual interest. Puhlease. "It's very simple. You have to... hold hands!"

"Gasp!" Yunyun said.

Succubi have detailed knowledge of what is considered lewd and indecent across all the world. And if you asked any Crimson demon what the lewdest thing a couple could do, once they finished introducing themselves as the best X in the village and telling you about the dark god sealed away in their pinky, would tell you that public hand holding was the lewdest! Even more so than... Head pats! How scandalous!

"Let's - let's change the subject!" Yunyun insisted, scarlet as the blood red moon, or some other nonsense these Crimson demons might spout. "S-So! What about you? Can you tell me a bit about yourself?"

Somehow Suzy doubted she'd take too well to hearing about how she was a succubus in training, that sort of thing might interfere in an apprenticeship.

"Well, there's not much to say," Suzy said. "I'm a small town girl trying to make it big, and this seemed like the best place to start. Teehee! Oh! You've reminded me of my friends, Neguman and Nuynuy."

Even Suzy winced a bit at that. No way would Yunyun fall for that. No way would she- Oh dear she was getting the starry eyed treatment now.

"This sounds really interesting," Yunyun said. "Tell me more about these friends."

"Ah, well... They were rivals for a long time," Suzy said.

“Oh! Did one of them constantly try and compete with the other!”


Cold Reading was an important skill for any succubus but with this girl it was more like Lukewarm Reading! She might as well be reading a book on the other side of a crystal clear window.

"Anyway, one day the two of them got into an argument about which of them could find the cuter date," Suzy continued. Yunyun's enthusiasm grew, and grew. It was actually becoming an almost intimidating aura now. Nonetheless! "So, Nuynuy went out and found a magical dousing rod that would lead her to her ideal partner."

"So? So? She found her ideal partner, right?"

"We~ell..." Suzy rolled on her heels. “You see, the trick is that you’ve gotta understand something about rivalries. A rival brings out the best of you, drives you to be stronger, better, faster. Also they are filled to the brim with sexual tension.”

"It does?"

"It does!" Suzy insisted. "That's why, in the middle of the street, she discovered Neguman was using the same kind of rod and it was pointing right at her! The two of them realised it at once, adn sparks flew. They immediately started holding hands, went home..." Suzy leaned in nice and close. "And played pat-a-cake."

Yunyun promptly fainted with a trail of blood spurting out of her nose. A bit cliche, but whatever. "Th-the deviants!" the Crimson demon burbled. Then, peeking from behind her fingers, she quietly asked. "Did they get... married?"

"They lived happily ever after," Suzy said, earning an applause from Yunyun. “So boss, do you want to live happily ever after?”

"W-well, that might be nice... I mean! A Crimson demon has no need of happily ever after! We are, err, damned from birth by the dark, urrr… gods? Yeah Dark Gods, that created us. Because that’s, um.. Metal? I think? I don’t see what being metallic has to do with anything…” She trailed off, “Ah I wish things could just stay sweet and innocent but-”

"Say, this is slightly off topic but has being sweet and innocent ever gotten you what you want?" Suzy interrupted.

"It has brought me many friends!" Yunyun said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Such as...?"

A tumbleweed blew down the fields right by them. It approached Yunyun, then quickly veered away in the opposite direction twice as fast as it initially approached, running over some toad gunk as it did so.

“In fact, hasn’t the only person it’s gotten to spend time with you that creepster who has the worst erotic fantasies around, Dust?”

A long dark pause followed.

"Oh no, it's gotten me worse than nothing!" Yunyun screamed to the heavens.

Ah, you know, this wasn't really her thing but seeing her hopping around like that in a frustrated squatting position and clutching on top of her head... there were a few folks in the northern mountains who were really into that.

"Has being nice and sweet helped you beat Megumin?"

"Noooooo!"

And there were a lot of people in the southern forest village who would pay through the nose to see a girl dressed like that screaming and rolling around in the dirt. Alas, she didn't have access to anything that could record this for posterity, certainly no handheld device that could imprint light onto paper on a permanent basis, creating a record of a single moment in time. That would be cool if something like that existed.

“Boss, there are lots of things you can teach me, but I think there’s something I can teach you. That might get you the friends you want, and Megumin.”

“Nooooo- Huh?” Yunyun grabbed Suzu’s slimy hands, “What? What can the apprentice teach the master!?”

Suzu smiled sweetly, “If being a good girl hasn’t worked…” This was going to be much easier than she thought. This little side mission was going to pass with little effort if the excited expression on her “boss” was any indication.

 “Then I’ll teach you how to be a bad girl.”


  1. The next thing Yunyun knows she's cosplaying as a succubus.
  2. Meanwhile, Kazuma is still trying to work out his new party member.
  3. Megumin is revelling in her new ability to cast Explosion whenever she wants.
  4. Aqua vents her frustrations.
  5. Something else

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