Back when Ryoga had first shown up he'd threatened to destroy Ranma's happiness. Good luck to him. He'd need a time machine at this point. Ranma sat on the roof of the Tendo household with a dark cloud floating over him. His hair was safe. His junk, on the other hand?
It was a monster. Going to the bathroom was an adventure unto itself. Not just, you know, using the toilet but actually bathing was an extremely dangerous thing now. He had to scrub really carefully for the sake of his own hygiene, but if he rubbed it <i>wrong</i> then he might make a great big mess.
Also when changing for gym class he had earned silent and stunned stares. Hiroshi actually started crying. Sobbing <i>“It’s not fair!”</i> over and over again. Clearly, the boys understood his misery and the torment he was enduring.
And don't get him started on sparring with Akane. He was sure that she normally tied her gi tighter than that before. Usually he wouldn't catch fleeting glimpses of her bra in the midst of a spar, and he was also pretty sure she was tripping up against him more often than normal and wearing really short skirts when she was dressed casual, and he <i>refused</i> to get hard for the tomboy.
Not that it was her fault, that girl wouldn't ever do something like that on purpose. Not like she has the faintest idea of how to seduce a guy anyhow. It was this monster in his trousers. Normally he could ignore a pretty girl, but now his hormone production was going into overdrive. It was a monster that wanted to be used, dammit, and every day that passed it was getting harder and harder not to stare at any reasonably cute girlish figure that strolled on by...
Even Uchan's wasn't safe. Were those trousers she wore while cooking always so tight? And since when had all her ingredients been kept in the lowest drawer? Seemed kind of cluttered to him. Guh... It almost seemed silly now mistaking her for a boy, for some reason it was a whole lot more obvious than before.
"I'm gonna burst at this rate," Ranma grumbled under his breath. "I'm almost better off staying as a girl these days. At least then I'm not getting all horny and stupid over anything with a pretty face..."
“Well thank god for that Ranma-baby, maybe you can help me out then.”
He should have closed his eyes. He shouldn't have looked up. But alas, Ranma Saotome was the kind of guy who went on instinct, and his instincts told him to look up at the source of that voice. Standing off to his left was the... One of the banes of his existence Nabiki Tendo. Wearing a tube top and a pair of snug cutoff jeans. Sucking on a popsicle.
The noise Ranma made could only be heard by dogs. D-Damn her! He was pretty sure she'd rubbed some kind of cream on her legs, stomach and shoulders because her skin was gleaming in a way that bare skin tends not to. Which made a terrifying prospect occur to him right then: She knows. She knows and she's going to make things very, very hard for him.
"What do you want?" Ranma asked.
"My, my Saotome. Can't a girl talk to her future brother-in-law without being treated suspiciously?"
That would've carried more weight if, until she spoke, she hadn't been deep throating that popsicle. God damn did she have a gag reflex? Part of him - a part he really hated right now - felt jealous of that sweet iced treat.
She sat down next to him. Her bare shoulder touching his. Blast it, why did he go short sleeved today?!
"I'll get right to the point," Nabiki said. "I have a business transaction going down with a certain gymnast later today. I could do with some hired muscle, you know how she can get. She might try to paralyse me, tie me up while I'm helpless and do so many awful things to my vulnerable, unresisting body."
D-Did she have to enunciate every word like that? No, more to the point did she have to trail the popsicle up the inside of her thigh like that?!
“I’m sure that a strong, powerful, <b>virile</b> man like yourself can handle a young lady wearing nothing but a skintight leotard.” Nabiki added, “I’ll make it worth your while Ranma-baby.”
"F-Fine! I'll play bodyguard!" Ranma reluctantly said. Dealing with Kodachi was the last thing he wanted right now, but - hell, he'd show up in girl form it won't be nearly as bad. Nabiki patted him on the head.
"Good boy, I knew you'd see sense," Nabiki said. She rose to her feet and walked off like a model strolling down the catwalk. The tease. Those shorts left almost nothing to the imagination and -
He heard the sound of something clattering against the rooftop, next to his feet. It was Nabiki's popsicle stick.
"Oops I dropped it," Nabiki said, and all of a sudden Ranma's vision was taken up by ass. Snug jeans-covered butt. He grunted, struggling and straining to keep himself from tearing right through his trousers. That witch! That evil sadistic devil! "Heh. Surrounded by all those pretty girls, I knew you'd crack eventually," Nabiki said.
Ranma stuck out his tongue and pulled a face at her.
"Yeah, well. The only thing you care about is money," Ranma grumbled.
"You're so right," Nabiki said, and then the flat of her hand landed squarely on her backside. "I'm a bad girl." She stepped forward and - crack - ahhhh, damn her! "So very, very naughty." Every time she took a step, she - she spanked herself using alternating hands. Had he called her the devil? She wasn't nearly evil enough! "I'll see you real soon, Saotome. Don't keep a girl waiting."
As soon as she was gone, Ranma rolled over off the rooftop and effortlessly landed on his feet. Then he rolled along the floor - much to his father and Mister Tendo's surprise - along towards the bathroom. Time for him to spend maybe two minutes jerking it, and the next hour cleaning up the mess he was about to make. He'd jerked off once the day after that hair mess got sorted out and - well, let's just say there was semen everywhere and let your imagination fill in whatever few blanks that leaves.
Truly. This was a hell that no man should endure.
<hr>
Truly, this was a hell that no girl should have to endure. It had been the better part of a week since Ranma's... incident, and Akane Tendo was getting kind of tired of having to rub herself off every night. That boy! Couldn't he take a hint! She wanted him to use that weapon to their mutual relief, but noooo, he couldn't see past the end of his own monster cock!
These kind of thoughts were still a little alien to her. Actually, if she was being honest seducing a boy wasn't something she was entirely used to. In the past, the boys at school had all kind of... thrown themselves at her in spite of her beating the living tar out of them every single day, so actually putting in the effort to get a boy interested in her was a matter where she had no experience at all.
Surely it should have been as simple as wearing more revealing clothing and putting herself in physical contact with him? That should have done it. Right? All the comics and cartoons she had secretly studied (and totally imagining Ranma as the male lead and her the female lead) had the male erupting into lust the moment the heroine exposed herself even slightly to him!
At this point she should probably just tell him that she wanted to bang. He'd probably go for it. But Akane was a stubborn girl, and she'd already set her course. Little could dissuade her of it now.
"We have a winner! Give it up for the cute girl in the white jumper!"
Akane blinked and reality came to a sharp focus around her. Without meaning to she'd joined a line for a lottery in the middle of the shopping district. Oh. Well, she always did have good luck with these. Akane sighed and took her prize. Might as well take a look at it. Might even distract her from her nearly boiling over lust for a certain pigtailed blockhead.
At one glance at the prize, she stopped cold in her tracks. Akane's face grew pale with shock. It was a ticket for a contest.
"Admission for two," she read aloud. "Screaming Hot Springs Obstacle Course Race. First prize... Is an all expenses paid trip to any hot or cold spring in the world!"
Akane's jaw dropped. With a prize like this... With a prize like this!
She imagined it. Herself and Ranma, sitting in a room side by side.
"It's so quiet," she'd say.
"And we're so alone," he'd say.
The two of them would reach for a bun from the bowl sitting in between them. Their hands would touch. They would look at each other, and then... A flower falls from its stem as they say each other's names...
"Oh, and Ranma could use this chance to go to Jusenkyo," Akane added as she came out of that pleasant daydream. That would be… nice, for him. Maybe. If the curse even could be cured and Akane had her doubts. "Well... Going would definitely be a good selling point for him at least, and she'd make sure he enjoyed himself either way...
- Nabiki's transaction with Kodachi. How does this go?
- Meanwhile Mousse has also won a ticket, and offers Shampoo a chance to participate.
- Ukyo is also frustrated by Ranma not. Getting. The. Hint.
- Happosai hasn't given up yet. He's off to try to find some more Dragon's Whisker!
- Something else
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