Funny thing. If you went back a couple of weeks and made Ranma drink about a gallon of truth serum, he'd be willing to admit that Akane had a sexy body. I mean, come on. It's obvious if you look at her. Or if you'd rather not ogle, check out the reactions of the boys around her. Watch their eyelines. Watch how they stammer if they try to look her in the eyes. Of course she's cute. Physically. It was always her personality that he was making fun of, really. She was so... tomboyish. Her feminine instincts were lousy and it made it difficult for him to see her as a future wife.
But yeah, opinions change. With his new outlook on life he could see the appeal. The combination of that body and that personality was setting off chills down his spine. It was such a stark contrast. A body that was begging to go through a tumble in the sheets being guarded by a personality ready to throw down at a moments notice.
It was the forbidden fruit, a treasure that only the most dedicated could earn. And oh, Ranma was the kind of boy who lived for a challenge. Put a good fair challenge in front of him and he'd claw his way around it just to prove that he could. Especially if there was a good reward at the end.
And the end of this reward was a treasure worth dying for. The rear end that is. Because Akane had a nice toned butt. From all the training she did. Yeah, he was kind of new to this pervert thing, cut him some slack.
So why was Ranma getting an up close and personal view of Akane’s rear end? That’s because he had just been german suplexed by her into the ground. Now, why had Akane suplexed Ranma into the ground? Maybe it’s best to back up a bit and explain that, give some context. He had manipulated her into giving him permission to hit on her. No, she hadn't figured out he'd manipulated her into letting him do that. Maybe. He didn't think she'd worked it out. Maybe she'd worked it out?
"Honestly!" Akane huffed. "Try getting fresh with me again, see where it gets you!"
Into bed? He hoped the answer was into bed. Didn't seem like it from her tone and body language. Ranma jumped up to his feet and quickly fell into step alongside her as she stormed out of the room.
"Hey, come on. I didn't mean it that way," he said.
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Akane quoted.
Heh, yeah. He'd spent all day thinking that one up. Brilliant and original, if he did say so himself.
"Well, since you asked, I'd hold it against you for as long as you wanted," Ranma said. This earned him a punch in the face. A right jab that wouldn't be out of place in an Olympic boxing match.
"Ugh! How did you ever get those girls tripping over themselves to marry you, again?" Akane asked. Not just Ranma, but God. Any God. "They can't all be shallow idiots!"
"Remind me how many guys at school were after you purely because you're pretty, even though you angrily stomped them into the dirt every single day?" Ranma asked. "Girls can be shallow too, you know."
"You are really, really bad at this," Akane said. "If you ever decide that you want Shampoo, Ukyo, or Kodachi to leave you alone then start flirting with them, they'll run for the hills screaming in disillusionment."
Oh, this tomboy! The more she played hard to get, the more he wanted to play! Now his blood was really boiling for the challenge, hehehe, this girl wouldn't stand a chance now that he was taking this seriously!
“I mean, I thought that after all we’ve been through we had something?”
That got her to slow down a bit. Alright! Now to press the attack!
“I thought you’d be happy with me stopping being so stupid about your looks.”
"Oh, I'm thrilled," Akane said. "I just wish you'd stop being stupid about something else."
"Well, I can't help it," Ranma said. "Guys tend to get stupid around cute girls."
Heh. That was the killing blow. Look at her, tearing up a little, keeping her head tucked low. She can't even look him in the eyes. Smooth as butter, Ranma Saotome. Was it any wonder the girls couldn't keep their hands off you? A face like this, a body like that, and a tongue this cunning? Heh. Why hadn't he done anything with this sooner?
“Ranma.” Akane said, her voice breathy. “I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say something like that.”
"Dummy, why'd you have to go and say something like that?" She then asked. She stepped right up to him, got into his personal space. So close he could feel her warmth. Yeah, that's right. This is what he was looking for. He reached his arms around to draw her into a hug. "Did you really think I'd fall for something like that?"
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Credit where it's due, this was a pretty good standing armbar!
"What kind of idiot are you?" Akane asked. "I know full well you're only flirting to win that stupid competition! You can't get into a girl's heart when she knows you're only doing it to <i>make a point</i>, you complete idiot!"
"You know, now that you put it that way this did seem ill thought through," Ranma winced. She let go, and then stormed off, but this time he didn't pursue. Blast! It seemed that he'd need another approach to win her over. But surely that cute, sexy tomboy had to know by now that Ranma Saotome does not accept defeat!
As for Akane, she went up to her room. Closed the door. Sunk back against it. Then turned bright red. "Idiot..." she muttered to herself. "If you were that charming normally, there wouldn't be a problem."
<hr>
Mousse didn't know it, but right now was the closest he'd ever get to scoring some action with Shampoo. With the spell dancing through her brain she was randier now than she'd ever been, and last month she'd bought an entire photo album from Nabiki of boy form Ranma shirtless.
Incidentally that photalbum was going to be getting a whole lot of use later on tonight.
But never mind that. Let's focus on Mousse right now. He had yet another scheme to win Shampoo's affections. It was brilliant, if the thought so himself. He had bought a pair of pants and shirt similar to Ranma and tied his hair back into a pigtail. He could ask Shampoo out on a date, and when she saw she was having so much fun he’d reveal himself to her! She’d realize that he was the one for her, and ditch Saotome once and for all!
"Shampoo! Let's go out on a date!"
"Shampoo is washing dishes," Cologne said, wapping Mousse on the head with her staff. "Stop cosplaying as son in law, and brush the floor in the cafe."
“I’m not cosplaying Old Ghoul!” Mousse said, and then got wapped again.
"I'll say you're not," Cologne said. "Son in law doesn't keep those thick glasses on his forehead."
"Oh, is that where I left them?" Mousse asked. This earned him another wap. "Never mind that. Shampoo! I'm here to ask you out on a date!"
Now the flaws in Mousse's disguise were quite complex and difficult for him to overlook.
- He was taller than Ranma
- His hair was longer than Ranma's.
- His voice was completely different than Ranma's.
And of course Ranma wasn't legally blind to the point that he had massive glasses he had to wear to keep from making an idiot of himself. Ranma could do that without the help of any glasses, thank you very much.
Needless to say Shampoo wasn’t fooled. Not for a nanosecond. In fact, if you tried to measure the amount of time that she was fooled you'd probably invent a new field of mathematics without meaning to.
But tonight there was something different about Shampoo. A change in her state of mind that meant she didn’t immediately pummel him into the ground for such a harebrained scheme.
Shampoo was horny. Now, when Shampoo was horny that usually meant she let it out of her system by trolling Akane or crashing her bike into her airen's head, but grandmother had insisted that she wash the dishes, so she was soooo super horny that she was starting to get concerned about the state of her underwear.
As such, this was the closest that Mousse was going to get. Ever. Given the circumstances she was getting quite desperate, and so she did the only thing that she could do in this situation.
She spun kicked him, grabbed his head, dunked a glass of cold water on him and then - having changed him into a duck - stuffed him in his cage. Because she was desperate. Not insane.
“Stupid… Mousse… think.. Shampoo… desperate enough for him!” She whispered this to the duck now in a cage. But her thighs were clamped tightly together to keep them from rubbing together from pure force of will. "Is no end to Mousse's stupidity!"
"Honk!" Mousse, ahem, honked. There's little sadder than a glasses wearing duck stuck in a cage, hanging its head in shame. He had been sure he'd get her attention that time! Technically he had but it was the wrong flavour of attention.
Shampoo slammed the remaining dishes into the shelves. “Shampoo done!” Now she just needed to figure out what to do. Did she go up to her room for some last resort relief? Or did she go back out to find some other method of dealing with this stress.
"Very good. Now, I can tell you're quite eager to go see Son-In-Law, but before then I want you to take these brochures to the Kuonji girl. We're supposed to be advertising for a local festival, and this is a good chance for you to keep an eye on the competition."
Oh, blast it. Shampoo grumbled but scooped up the brochures and put them in her bike's carry basket. This was the last thing she needed right now. What she really wanted to do was to head off to the Tendo place, sneak into her airen's room and have lots and lots of naughty fun. She sighed. It even felt to her like airen might be up for that kind of fun time given his recent behaviour, but...
"Oh, it's you," Ukyo said. She'd arrived already? "Alright, let's get this over with. I don't wanna do this any more than you do, but business is business."
Shampoo rolled her eyes and then followed her rival inside. It was funny though. Ukyo was catering to the sexist culture of Japan by dressing up like a boy, since women that owned businesses did not tend to do well. Nothing to do with skill, all down to perception so far as she could see.
The thing was... Ukyo made a pretty good boy. Very bishounen. It wasn't just the clothes, but the way she carried herself. The way she walked, the way she talked, the way she moved in a general sense was telling her that this was a boy standing in front of her. A very handsome boy. Very... very... handsome...
"He- She'll do," Shampoo decided, licking her lips as she closed the door behind her.
- Asuka teaches Azusa a lesson.
- Ranma continues his flirtation attempts.
- Shampoo has her sights set on Ukyo.
- Akane heads over to Ucchan’s, walks in just as Shampoo’s getting some.
- Nabiki's noticed something is up. Winds up getting hit with the spell.
- Something else
No comments:
Post a Comment