But that did bring on a pang of guilt to go alongside the nausea. Was she really going to do this to Shampoo? It would be so easy, to use the badge to “punish” Shampoo, like she had done with Kodachi, but that kind of abuse of power was a really unhealthy mindset to get into.
Also, it lead to Kodachi dating a woman old enough to be Akane and Ranma’s mother, which was kind of weird.
Anyway, the point was that she should think this through carefully and not indulge in any petty or vindictive -
"Nihao Airen!" Shampoo leaped through the air and pressed her bikini clad body right into Ranma's back. Then she quite deliberately pressed those ridiculous boobs right into Ranma's back. "Is happy to see Shampoo, yes? Better company than clumsy fat kitchen wrecker."
Forget what she was saying before because Akane was feeling a mite petty all of a sudden. She whipped out her badge and put it right in Shampoo's dumb smirking face. “Hello Shampoo. I understand you have residency in Japan right now? Well I’m here to perform some inspections.”
"Oh? That annoying," Shampoo grumbled. "Can Shampoo bring airen?"
"No. This is a private inspection," Akane said, grabbing hold of Shampoo's arm and dragged her away. Luckily she didn't resist as Akane wasn't too sure she actually could pull her off him. She was like a limpet on a wall. A limpet with boobs.
...
Great, now she had that in her brain. As if she wasn't feeling queasy enough today. “So have you ever been inspected before?” She said, trying to make small talk to distract her from that image.
“No. Not even hear of until today. How clumsy unreliable girl get important government job?”
"Are you thinking of applying?" Akane quipped, then immediately regretted it. If she wasn't careful she'd have to train Shampoo in this 'job' as well. Then again, maybe she would be able to pass it on to her...? No, bad idea! Shampoo would take full advantage of it! Alright. They were in a dressing room, just the two of them. Let's get this over with, and maybe try to figure out a way to get this pest out of her hair permanently.
The question was... what would that be? Giving her a penis didn't feel like it would put her off that much. Hell, it might even encourage her. So what would it take? What could Akane do to get her to leave Ranma alone?
"Let's see, at first glance this seems like a perfectly healthy vagina," Akane began, rolling on automatic while her mind tried to conjure what to do here. "You must take good care of it."
"Of course. Good warrior always take care of body."
Yeah, from what Akane could tell Shampoo took really good care of herself. It was weird, but she kind of got the feeling that this girl masturbated regularly. She was probably frustrated that Ranma wasn't returning her advances and letting it out through self abuse. Either that, or Akane's impression of her as kind of a slut was a bit more accurate than she'd imagined.
Totally unlike Akane, who was regularly using inspections to at least felliate and at most have sex with two people. She had no choice in the matter! She certainly wasn't starting to maybe kind of enjoy it a little now that she was getting used to the squick factor, honest!
Next came the actual inspection. A completely mundane fact of life, licking a girl’s pussy till she came. Just being on Shampoo didn’t make it any different. (She was too feminine for Akane’s tastes anyways). Eh. It tasted like pussy. What did she expect?
"Yep, probably the healthiest I've ever seen," Akane said. "Although, do try to play with yourself a bit less than, what, five times a day? That could cause issues within the next few years."
"Shampoo no promise anything," Shampoo shrugged. "You see how cute and handsome airen is, how can girl not want piece of that?"
How indeed? Well, it was time to put up or shut up. There was only one thing that she could really do here in her write-up.
“Oh... oh dear. I’m afraid I have some bad news for you Shampoo.” Akane said.
SHampoo looked down at Akane, “What Inspector Girl talking about?”
"Based on my analysis, you and Ranma are one hundred percent incompatible. Neither of you would ever climax should you have a sexual encounter with one another."
She'd already written as much on the ticket. What she hadn't expected was for Shampoo to reach down and physically pick her up.
"Inspector girl lie!" Shampoo said, quite insistently. Her battle aura was flaring up something fierce, and if Akane wasn't a martial artist this would've easily had her shaking in absolute bone shaking terror. "Shampoo and airen is too too good for each other!"
"I suggest you put me down Shampoo," Akane said warningly. "Attacking an inspector in the course of their duty will result in harsh punishment."
Oh, but Akane almost felt <i>good</i> about seeing the girl roll her eyes like that. Almost, because she wasn't entirely sure about what was going to happen next.
“Shampoo see game. Inspector Girl abuse position to try and get Airen to herself. Think Joketsuzoku no know how to deal with corrupt officials from Beijing?”
Oh, she saw right through her. “This isn’t the middle of nowhere with easily bribed officials Shampoo. You think I could get away with abusing my authority? My bosses are the biggest bastards you’ve ever met! They don't tolerate abuse of power... but they dislike abuse of their staff even more.”
(Of course there was a bit of irony in Akane’s statement, as the creators of the particular magical item Akane had been granted was, in fact, intended to be “abused.” But Akane’s personality made her a poor fit for abusing it.)
"Let them do their worst," Shampoo said, squeezing Akane's arm. This time, Akane didn't resist because there really was no point. "Shampoo not afraid. They show up, she beat them up and then she... Oooh... Th-Then she..."
Something weird happened right then. Shampoo let Akane go and sunk to her knees, eyes glazed over and - holy moly, the girl was dripping like a waterfall! Akane backed off a bit, and looked at the ticket she'd written up for Shampoo.
Its contents had changed. There were a few extra lines in there that hadn't been there before.
<i>"With immediate effect: Shan Pu of the Jokezusoku will be afflicted with Akane Tendo- proximity- triggered genital sensitivity. As long as aggression against Akane Tendo is continued, Shan Pu of the Joketsuzoku’s genitals shall become exponentially more sensitive until hostilities cease.” </i>
Exponentially? Hold on a minute, wasn't that the thing with the guy who scored a contract where he would put coins on a chessboard starting with one square and doubling every new one and by the time the second row was finished the nation was bankrupt?! <i>That</I> exponential?
"Ohhhh yesssss!" Shampoo moaned, and collapsed in a puddle of her own juices. "Feel goooood!" One hand plunged under her swimsuit. Squelching noises soon followed. "Punish Shampoo mooooore! Give Shampoo airen!"
"I think we're done here see you later bye!"
Akane never imagined she'd run away from a 'vanquished' enemy so quickly and fearfully. So, what. Whenever she got near Shampoo from now on she was going to transform into a gushing nymphomaniac that got even more and more hot and heavy with each passing second?
Yeah, that did it, she finally threw up. Luckily there was a garbage can right by her, or she'd have made a simply awful mess.
"Whoever's responsible for this, I swear. I will find a way to stop you," Akane resolved.
"Ain't no stopping me when I'm having fun at the beach!" a certain voice called out, and all of a sudden Akane was topless. By the time she'd looked around and covered herself up with her hands, Happosai was bouncing off with her bikini top in hand, skipping gaily and without a care.
"One evil at a time..." Akane whispered to herself.
- Akane and Ranma plot to get Happosai together with Cologne, as per canon.
- Cologne discovers Shampoo and figures out what's up with Akane.
- Ukyo is here as well. As if things weren't complicated enough.
- Akane bites the bullet and manages to use the badge on Happosai in some way.
- Something else
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