The rivalry between Ranma Saotome and Ryoga Hibiki was one of the most straightforward relationships either of them had going on right about now. Call it a friendly rivalry, if you will. The two of them loved little more than slugging it out and getting on each other's very last nerve.
Toss in a Jusenkyo curse on top of that? Well, it might be the simplest relationship either had but it was still pretty complicated when you really looked into it.
"Will you sit still so I can hit you?" Ryoga asked, his fist missing Ranma by a mile.
"Nyaaaa!" Ranma stuck out her tongue. "Make me!"
Truly theirs was a friendship for the ages. By now the two of them had at least enough sense to take the fight out of the restaurant. Well, Ranma did. Ryoga was following along. Even if the thought had occurred to him he'd probably wind up punting Ranma into the kitchen by mistake.
"So how was your date with Uchan?" Ranma asked while backflipping away from a rather stern hard kick that was aimed squarely at had torso.
"Oh, it's going great!" Ryoga said, angrily grabbing hold of Ranma's leg and tossing her into a wall. "I just have to protect Akane from you for a little bit, and then we'll be right back to it!"
"Blegh, you couldn't protect a diamond from a paper bag blowing in the wind," Ranma jeered. She flipped around in mid-air and kicked off the wall, seeming completely unphased. "Honestly now, you should give up on Akane. It's obvious she's not into you."
"Says you!"
"That's right, I did say that," Ranma patiently mocked.
Couldn't you feel the camaraderie? The mutual respect born from years of knowing each other? From shared battles, shared challenges, from spars and misadventures. Oh yes, these two were the very best of frenemies.
"I'm serious you know. Akane doesn't see you that way at all. Heck, I'd bet that Uchan stands a better chance of hooking up with Akane than you do!"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Ryoga screamed. Uh oh, looks like he's stepping up a gear! When this boy got angry, he got a bit quicker. His hand reached out and grabbed Ranma by the lapel, letting him hoist the girl over his head. "Those two girls hooking up is the most ludicrous thing you've... ever..."
Both of them came to a stop for a moment there as the idea percolated in their tiny pea brains. It was the first time Ranma has actually said aloud her repressed fears about her childhood friend. As for Ryoga, he was too oblivious to repress things like that. Either way the image was right there front and centre of both of their minds.
Akane and Ukyo. Limbs intertwined as they lay in a bed together, a single sheer white sheet all that covered their bodies. From what you could see of them they were clearly naked underneath, but the sheets were tactfully covering anything... untoward. The two of them clasp hands, and turn their faces towards one another and slowly, slowly, lean in -
Oooh boy, the two of them were gonna be having some dreams tonight.
"Say... You don't think...?" Ryoga ventured.
"Nah, couldn't be," Ranma said.
The two fell into silence as still more erotic imagery assaulted their delicate minds. Ryoga’s was actually the lewder of the set, despite Ranma having seen Ukyo naked during Akane’s Inspections. That boy did have the more active imagination when it came to Akane Tendo. Or maybe it was more that he allowed his imagination to go to certain places that Ranma simply wouldn't.
"Nah," they said in unison. Then they hesitated, thought it over some more, and said "Nah, couldn't be," yet again. As if trying to convince themselves rather than anything else.
"You know what, this is such a stupid idea that we should probably tell Akane and Ukyo about it," Ryoga said. "I bet they'll have a big old laugh."
"Is that before or after they mulch us for being perverts?" Ranma asked.
Alas, Ryoga was not the sort to let an idea pop into his head. Which is why Ryoga had grabbed hold of Ranma and was dragging her along back into the restaurant - a rare case of him going in the direction he intended - while laughing off the ridiculous idea that Ranma had accidentally planted in both of their heads.
Yeah. This isn't going to go badly for all involved. Not even a little bit of it.
<hr>
Okay then. Now that she'd dealt with that distraction, it was time to get back to her not a date with Ranma. Or it would be... if Ranma or Ryoga were anywhere in sight. Which left Ukyo as the only person left at either table.
Well this was going to be awkward, wasn't it?
"So. You and Ryoga," Akane said, sitting down next to Ukyo. "You make a cute couple." Her expression was not quite happy looking. In fact, if Ukyo had been around longer she would have seen Akane express that same tone with Ranma a handful of times when Shampoo got too handsy.
As it was Ukyo missed the warning signs.
"Uh... Yeah! If you say so!" Ukyo said. Welcome Miss Oblivious.
"Well, I'm happy for the two of you!" Akane huffed. Full on tsundere mode- activated. "So! How long has this been going on? Did you meet him earlier?"
Worth noting that Ukyo Kuonji is not Ranma Saotome. I know, I know. Mathematicians will be baffled for years.The point is that this is where Ranma would throw out a typically tsunderish reaction of his own, escalating the situation and resulting in a big stupid argument over basically nothing. Well. Ukyo wasn't a tsundere. Ukyo was just... confused.
"Meet him earlier?" Ukyo asked. "Uh... Yeah, I guess?" By which she meant 'earlier today'. "Listen, you're not mad are you?"
"Mad? Me? Oh no. Why would I be mad?" Akane asked .Cue further bafflement from Ukyo. At this rate she was bound to hurt herself in her confusion. "I mean, I'm super happy for you. Ryoga's a decent guy. I'm sure he'll treat you right. Now, if you'll excuse me I have a not a date with Ranma -"
"Hold on a second."
This is where we see the clear difference between Ukyo and Ranma. Where Ranma would have been all 'fine be that way,' Ukyo had a bit of a clearer head about her.
"It's not what you think." Because some things are common across all kinds of borders. "I've been trying to set him up with someone else but... they're being kind of oblivious about it. So, I'm here to keep him interested a little longer. That's all!"
“So you’re not interested in Ryoga?” Akane said.
"Oh please. Ryoga Hibiki's a big dumb brute with the direction sense of a - He's right behind me isn't he."
"Well, he was behind you," Akane sighed. "Now he seems to be rushing off towards the kitchen and dragging Ranma along after him."
"Heeeeeeelp!"
When you take everything into consideration this night went better for all involved than one might expect.
- Ryoga is calmed down and things are talked through.
- The next day a whole new batch of chaos awaits.
- Akane ends up stuck with a quota that requires her to confront Shampoo. Wonderful.
- Something else
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