Ranma Saotome was a brave young man. Ask anyone. Heck, ask him and he'd have no trouble telling you all about how courageous and cunning and strong and handsome he is. Yet make no mistake. There were things that got his heart pumping. There were things that made his palms sweat. There were things in this world that kept him up at night in sheer existential dread.
Chief among those things? Swimming lessons at school involving his unwanted fiancee, Akane Tendo. It didn't bother him as much as you might think that he had to specify <i> which</i> unwanted fiancee he was thinking about.
Now he would genuinely and sincerely have a hard time figuring out a worse experience. Maybe if Akane was simultaneously baking him a birthday cake while it was raining cats and he was shackled to Kuno for the day, that might be the absolute worst experience he could possibly have. But swimming lessons with Akane... That was horrible enough!
What was making today worse than usual though? She was smiling. Look at her down there. Smiling. Anticipating the carnage that lay ahead. What sick and depraved imaginings were stirring even now within that uncute tomboy's thick skull? What mania, what clumsily served misfortune lay ahead for them? He should head on, rush to warn the others so they knew to flee and yet... And yet he dare not turn his head away from that incessant smile upon her face.
Not because she's really pretty and her smile made him feel funny in his tummy. No, no. This was an eldritch thing that had ensnared his attention. Yeah, that's the ticket. He wasn't enchanted by her beauty, more spellbound by the creeping horror gnawing on his soul.
Or to put the above terms more in line with Ranma's lexicon: Oh no, what's the tomboy planning now?
"So... what's got you in a good mood this morning?" Ranma asked, looking down nervously from his place strolling atop the fence. "You know we're doing swimming today, right?"
"Kukuku... I have a plan for swimming," Akane said, tapping the side of her nose. All of a sudden the world seemed drained of colour and life. Misery alone was what lay ahead. Or, in simpler terms; Great, gotta be ready for almost anything.
"Morning Akane-chan! Morning Ranchan!"
Mercifully it seemed as though he would not suffer alone. Ranma looked further up the street and there was his best friend Uchan waving them down. He didn't think anything of her calling for Akane ahead of him, because that wasn't anywhere near where his head was at right now.
"Hey Uchan," Ranma said. "How's the store?"
Huh. The two girls shared a look there. Probably mutual jealousy over the fact that they were both his fiancee through an arrangement between their fathers and his. One that Ranma had no say in. Huh(again)... He was really feeling like pounding a panda for some reason right about now.
"I'll let you two catch up, I've got to go ahead to set up my plan," Akane said, then rushed out at a dead heat. "Mwahahahaha! I shall finally learn to swim! Hammer girl days are over! Mwahahaha!"
"She seems excitable today..." Ukyo mused. Ranma considered giving chase, but thought better of it. He continued strolling at a leisurely pace towards the school. "So yeah, you looking forward to the date this weekend?"
"Huh?" Ranma grunted. "What weekend date?"
"Oh, did Akane not tell you?" Ukyo asked. "Ugh, that girl! She's as forgetful as you are sometimes. Well anyway, I've met someone and Akane offered to make it a double date to make it less awkward."
Ukyo... met someone? That was a bit of a shock. Sure, she'd actually broken off the engagement already but he hadn't taken it to heart until right now. It was a bit of a blow to his pride, really. To the point it made him hop off the fence to walk side by side with her for a stretch.
"Eh, that's nice for you," Ranma said, trying to sound casual and not quite managing it. "Though I bet they're not half as good looking as me."
An image of Shampoo flashed through Ukyo's mind. "Oh, have no fear! They're nuclear hot!"
Bah! That was an even bigger blow to the old ego. "I bet I'm still the better catch."
Which ended the same way such a comment should really. With the one making it getting clanged around the head by an oversized cooking utensil and being told to be less of an arrogant jerk.
"So what was all that about?" Ukyo asked, gesturing in the direction Akane had run off to. "Hammer girl and all that? Can she really not swim?"
"Oh, her skill in swimming is negative," Ranma nodded. "Every time she tries, someone in the world forgets a stroke."
"She can't be that bad."
Can't be that bad, huh? Ranma started counting off on his fingers. "There was the time she flooded the school's ground floor," he said, then moved onto another finger. "Then there was the time she nearly drowned in the shallow end, don't even get me started on the lunar tide incident... And last time she flooded the top floor of the school. Somehow. We still don't get how she pulled that off."
"... Is this like the rumours I hear about her cooking causing eldritch abominations to manifest in the pot?" Ukyo asked. "Because I've seen her cook, and she's not that bad. Mistakes salt for sugar, that kind of thing. There's no supernatural element to it, she's just... ordinarily terrible at cooking."
"I ain't making it up, Uchan!" Ranma said, feeling half crazed. Like the one old man in a horror movie who tries to warn the main cast away from the secluded location they're heading to. "That girl doesn't know her own strength, has no common sense about the water and has the grace of a falling brick! We gotta watch her carefully today to make sure she doesn't hurt anyone - herself included!"
Watch Akane very carefully during swimming lessons? Oh, Ukyo would have no problems with that. None whatsoever.
<hr>
If one were to look at this girl's changing room in a non perverted manner for a second? I know, I know, where is the fun in that? We'll get there, but please bear with me for a moment. Normally when girls get changed they split off into cliques. Groups of friends who gossip while they change clothes, not really paying much attention to one another's bodies. They go about their business and then leave. That's all that happens. No kissing, no touching, no erotic stripteases. Well, on this particular day this girl's dressing room was not ordinary by any means.
Because all but two of the girls were secluded in one corner while the last two - Akane Tendo and Ukyo Kuonji- were getting dressed largely unnoticed.
"Okay guys, this is not a drill. We are at defcon one. The Eagle has landed. This is situation FUBAR and SNAFU all at once!"
This got Sayuri gently nudged by Yuka. Best to stay on point.
"We've all had our CPR training?" Yuka asked. The girls all nodded with grim determination. "We have floats with us, just in case?" Another nod. "Every room in the school has a pump situated in it?" Another nod.
They went on like that for a bit, running down their list of precautions while Akane stayed in the corner beaming to herself. Internally though the lesbian shard was (metaphorically) pouting. Here she was walking around naked in a girl's changing room and none of the girls were even looking at her. Perfect chance to earn some easy seduction points. Bah!
"How can one girl cause so much havoc," Yuka wondered aloud. "First all the athletic boys go gaga over her, then she brings in a gender flipping boy that she's engaged to and don't get me started on that hot mess... And this swimming thing on top of everything else!"
"You know, I can kinda see why the boys went after her... Have you checked out those thighs?" another girl - who was not Sayuri - mused aloud.
"W-Well, no I haven't but can we stay on - God, wow! You're right! They're the perfect balance between muscular and - Anyway! We must be dilligent, we must be careful and we must make sure we don't have a repeat of any other time we've had swimming lessons. So keep a close eye on Akane, no matter what happens."
"I'll have no problems at all watching that fine ass..." Another girl muttered, and even licked her lips.
Both Yuka and Sayuri stared at her for a moment. Then for reasons that only could ever make sense to the two of them, they looked at each other and then Yuka pinched Sayuri's cheeks. Somehow this was her fault. She knew it.
"Stay positive!" Yuka told the girls as they began to file out of the changing room. Still, it must be noted, pinching Sayuri's cheeks in righteous punishment. "It won't be as bad as you think it will!"
"Hello keiki!" the Principal called out, lounging by the pool drinking... something from a coconut. "Is good ta be seein' ya all! Hahaha!"
"It'll be much, much worse..." Yuka whined. The mood could be expertly summarised by Ranma, who was in girl form and standing alongside the boys with her face buried deep into her palm.
The Principal hopped out of his chair and skipped on over to the girls. "Now, I be hearin' der be a terrible swimmah in de class! Dat not be doing! Dat not be doing at all! Hahaha! So your kind Principal be plannin' on taking dat hammer and breakin' it over 'is knee! Hahaha!"
"Thank you Principal!" Akane said. "I know that you can do it! Turn me from a hammer into a float!"
Meanwhile, Ukyo sidled right on up over towards Ranma, who was by now practically digging a hole for his face within his palm.
"Hey Ranma... I notice you're in girl form," Ukyo said. She bounced on her feet a little. "So? Where exactly did you get changed? You weren't in the girls room, and I sure hope you weren't in the boys..."
"Don't wanna talk about it," Ranma grunted. "Already too annoyed at the stupid tomboy."
Everyone suddenly dove away from him. This is because the Principal had hucked a pineapple right over to Ranma. It didn't actually explode. It merely sprayed Ranma with goop. Pineapple flavoured goop.
"Serves you right," Akane sniffed. "I bet you think my plan is pretty stupid, don't you?"
"Well, you said it!" Ranma deadpanned. Akane then flicked her right on the nose.
"Dummy. Of course I know the Principal is going to try something crazy," Akane said. "That's the point. I've tried every conventional method to learn how to swim. Therefore, unconventional methods are the only ones that will work."
Ranma stared a hole right through Akane. "Congratulations. That's the single dumbest plan I ever heard."
This title would be quickly contended as the Principal snuck up on Akane, picked her up, and stuck her feet first inside what could only be described as a giant fin that fit snugly to her hips and totally covered up her legs. Then she noticed that her swimming suit had been mysteriously changed as well. Gone was the boring standard issue school swim gear, now there were a pair of coconuts over her breasts.
"Hey, what's the big idea!" Akane yelled. The ferocity of her outburst was rather mitigated and diminished by the tail flopping around automatically.
"Kekeke..." the Principal cackled. "Dis be special training outfit. Mermaids be famous for swimming prowess. So! You become mermaid, you become good swimmer! Hahaha! Is only logical! Hahaha!"
"Uchan help, I've forgotten what logic is," Ranma said.
"Sorry can't help you I'm in the same boat," Ukyo replied.
Akane coughed into her hand. "Well, I don't know if this is a great idea - Oh god put me down!"
"If that be what keiki want!" the Principal cackled, and then he dumped Akane into the pool. For a moment everyone watched with bated breath to see what happened... and then Akane broke clear through the surface of the water, looking very much like a swimsuit cover shot in the process. Quite a few of the boys had their hearts pounding a bit faster at the sight. The girls too, for that matter.
"I'm swimming!" Akane cried in utter joy. Indeed, she was. The tail was flapping and slapping the water with a high intensity, pushing her across the surface with natural seeming ease. She was so graceful that the rest of class could do little more than watch in awe, a touch of blush tinging their cheeks. Both the boys and girls, of course.
"Hahaha! Triumph!" the Principal yelled. "Dat right! Soon your legs be swimming like dis all de time even without de -"
Then he got knocked the fuck out by two coconut shell halves that seemed to fly in from out of nowhere. Nobody knew where they came from. There wasn't anyone at that half of the swimming pool. So everyone looked around with a great deal of confusion trying to figure out where that had come from.
Yuka realised it first. And on doing so, she blushed and immediately went to cover up Ranma's eyes. Though really, she ought to have considered covering up her own as well.
"Hey what's the big idea!" Ranma yelled.
"Sayuri! Uchan! Get those back to her! Pronto!" Yuka hissed. "You boys! Cover your eyes, right now!"
A loud moan came up from the boys as they suddenly realised exactly how much danger their genitals were in if they didn't comply. But... of course, this didn't stop the girls from leering. Lured in by the allure of the lesbian shard, they could hardly help themselves from watching Akane's breasts as she boobed- ahem, bobbed and weaved along the water's surface, full of joy and life at the simple pleasure of swimming.
"Yay! I'm swimming! I'm swimming! I'm -"
Then all of a sudden she was upside down. Tail waving around in the air, head buried in the water. Helplessly thrashing about. Sayuri and Ukyo immediately dove into the water, coconuts in hand, and swam elegantly towards Akane. Ukyo dove down and grabbed her by the chest, hauling her up while covering her goods.
Ah, of course she had ulterior motives for this as well.
"Hold on, let me get this off!" Sayuri said. She grabbed hold of the still splashing tail, trying in vain to pull it away. But it was a little too snug around Akane's hips. "Ugh! Need a little help here!"
"I'll help -" Ranma began to say, but Yuka nudged him and the other girls in class held her back. Until Akane's coconut bra was back in place, there wasn't a chance in hell she was getting anywhere near the girl! Obviously, it was up to Yuka to head on in there and help out, which she did with aplomb, getting onto the other side of the girl that Sayuri was on and -
Woah, those hips, they could not lie. No wonder Sayuri was having trouble getting this mermaid costume off!
"Help me get these straps around her back!" Ukyo yelled. Right! If they could do that, it'd make sure those perverted boys didn't get too much of a peek at something they shouldn't. Yuka went right to that while Sayuri worked to keep her steady and Ukyo held the coconuts in place while also keeping Akane's head out of the water.
It was funny though. As she did this Yuka couldn't help but notice how soft Akane's back was. The skin was so smooth and gentle that it completely hid the remarkable strength that lay within. Hre fingers seemed to forget themselves as they seized the straps, more concerned with feeling that skin and cherishing the sensation than tying them up. That is, until the mermaid's fin hit her arm and broke the spell, making her finish the tie off as quickly as possible.
Next they had to get the fin off. For that Ukyo swam around to the back to grab hold of the still splashing fin, grabbing hold of the end to keep it from splashing any longer while Yuka and Sayuri grabbed hold of Akane.
"Get this thing off of me!" Akane yelled.
"Don't worry, we'll get you off," Sayuri said. Then seemed to realise what she'd said and corrected it to. "Get it off. That's what I meant."
"Those lucky girls..." one of the boys said a little too loudly.
"Yeah, they really are..." one of the girls replied. Pretty much everyone in class was staring with their eyes glazed over at this point. Everyone but Ranma, of course.
"Tug!" Ukyo yelled, so both Yuka and Sayuri did that. They kept a tight, tight grip on Akane's tight, fit body and they pulled and they pulled and they... K-Kept a very tight grip on their f-friend. Their extremely attractive friend. They put their whole weight into it. Pressed their bodies up against hers. To brace themselves. To brace her. So that Ukyo could pull that still splashing fin off her body with a minimum of -
Plop! Off it came, Ukyo falling back into the water and then re-emerging with the fin still splashing and thrashing around violently. "Hah! This thing was no match for me!" Ukyo declared, drawing applause from the rest of the class.
Then the fin stopped splashing, and everyone turned to look at a very bored Ranma Saotome, who was holding a remote aloft.
"You know, you could've checked the Principal for the remote..." Ranma groused. "That would've made getting rid of that thing easier."
"Then why didn't you switch it off sooner?!" Akane yelled across the pool.
"Eh, you girls seemed to be having fun."
A coconut bounced off Ranma's head, and as she fell back the annoying Principal kipped up to his feet, applauding raucously. "Ahahaha! What a splendid display of teamwork, students!" he laughed. "Hahaha! If we be workin' togedda! No doubt of it, Miss Tendo be learnin' 'ow to swim in no time flat!"
- Next up, the Principal lets Akane swim with some, ahem, motivators to help her learn.
- Akane gives up, cue this somehow leading to lesbian shenanigans.
- While the Principal is out cold, Ranma takes charge and tries to teach Akane how to swim.
- Ukyo has a different suggestion. Maybe if Akane was given a deep tissue massage, she would be more ready to swim.
- Something else
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