Sunday, 14 October 2018

Story: Pretty Boy Ukyo




Golly gosh this was a new feeling for Nabiki. Genuine romantic frustration from someone who wasn't afraid of her. How novel! How quaint! How would she best go about teaching this Tsubasa the very meaning of fear? How to teach this arboreal interloper that you don’t try and step in when Nabiki Tendo is interested in someone?

"Huh... You're pretty uncute."

Everyone that had a brain - even Ranma Saotome - took a big step back as soon as Tsubasa said those words right to Nabiki's face. Alas, poor Tsubasa did not have a brain in her pretty little head. So she stayed right where she was. Well within slapping range.

As such, it was little effort for Nabiki to reach out and grab hold of a handful of hair - then yank it around so she could give Ukyo the biggest on the mouth smooch you ever did see. There were soldiers coming back from wars that had received less intense kisses than this. The other students watching made a noise like a siren, save for Ranma who looked away and Akane who gawped slack jawed.

Tsubasa scowled at the sight. “That’s not cute, that’s just slutty.”

The two of them parted, and Nabiki smiled at her new blood rival. Goodness. An honest to goodness rival. How exciting! Then she said "Cuteness is in the eye of the beholder. Right Ukyo-baby?"

“Yes Nabiki I’ll take five pounds of apples. Apple Okonomiyaki coming up!”

"Slut!" Tsubasa stuck out her tongue. "Easy girl!"

This too was quite fascinating. Nabiki had never seen someone so willing and eager to dig their own grave. This bitch would learn soon enough. Everyone had their vulnerable points. Waiting to be exploited. Levers to be pulled. She wants to play the insult game? Well that's fine. Nabiki was down to play.

"Crazy stalkers should be more careful what they say to current girlfriends," Nabiki said. She set about inspecting her nails on her right hand, while putting her left on her hips. "Who knows what it might lead to."

"Oh no, now you're going to bully me!" Tsubasa swooned. The wounded gazelle gambit, eh? Nabiki had suspected as much.

"It might even lead to things like a restraining order..." Nabiki bounced on her heels. Aha! There it was! Tsubasa gulped nervously at that. "Which could also lead to the authorities looking into your past for all your dirty little secrets... But they won't find anything, I'm sure."

"They won't?"

"No, of course not," Nabiki smiled like a shark. "Because I'll have found them first."

Ah, there we go. The mortal terror of prey that suddenly realised they were walking across a predator's back. Ah this felt good. She got to put someone obnoxious in their place and-

“Why would I care about you knowing that stuff? Ukyo knows all my deepest darkest secrets and he still accepts me! Can you say the same?”

"Me? Keep deep dark secrets?" Nabiki chuckled. Not quite enough yet? Persistent little pest. "I don't keep secrets. I break secrets." About time for her to draw on that 'battle aura' training that daddy had them all do when they were little. So far as anyone capable of sensing this kind of thing could tell, a giant version of Nabiki flipping the bird and making a rude face would appear in the air above her. For everyone else, a chill would go right down their spine. She didn't tend to use this unless someone made the mistake of really pissing her off, but funny thing. Girls tend to get upset when they get called uncute sluts by cutesy bimbos trying to steal their man.

"And I'm perfectly capable of <i>breaking</i> anyone that horns in on what's mine."

Aw, now tears were welling up in her eyes. Go on. Go for the wounded gazelle gambit. See how far it gets you. Nabiki already knew exactly what it would take to get around that. The instant you tried it was the instant you lost.

Unfortunately the opportunity would never quite arrive, for smoke filled her vision, made her eyes water and her sputter and cough uncontrollably. Right when she was about to go for the kill! Who did that? Who would dare?!

"Tsubasa, you forgot your lunch!" said another extremely cute and cloying voice that, for some reason, grated on every single one of Nabiki's nerves. The smoke cleared, and there she was. Somehow even more feminine seeming than Tsubasa. A bit taller, but no breasts to speak of. Something about her seemed that much more effortlessly womanly. It was hard to describe. In any event she thrust out a lunch box towards the still coughing Tsubasa, who took it with aplomb.

Then the newcomer looked over and skipped right on past Nabiki. Took out a handkerchief. Then used it to wipe at Ukyo's collar. "You spilled a little sauce on this," the new girl said.

“What are you doing here Konatsu!? Shouldn’t you be getting hit on by all the boys in our class with that act or something?” Nabiki asked icily.

"Ah, I'm quite sure those boys couldn't hit me if they tried," Konatsu said, still sounding humble even as she said what sounded like a boast. "Miss Nabiki, thank you so much for your kindness so far today. It's so very nice to see that you also know Miss Tsubasa and Master Ukyo. Oh! How close we shall all be together!"

"Did... she say Master?" a student in the crowd whispered, though not nearly quietly enough for Nabiki's liking.

"I think she did..." another student whispered back. Well, I suppose it was whispering in a technical sense.

Ukyo had no goddamned idea what was going on by this point. Tsubasa stalking him? That he knew how to deal with. Nabiki being pissed over Tsubasa? Scary, but some ideas came to mind. But this new girl who acted like a ninja yamato nadesico calling him ‘Master’ for some reason? <b>Why?</b> He needed to act, needed to take control. Remember, this was for revenge. To regain his lost honor after those <b>evil whores</b> said he’d never be marriage material!

Nabiki reached over with a trembling hand towards Ukyo. There was a shade over her eyes, and he couldn't see them properly. His girlfriend placed a hand on his shoulder and Ukyo gulped. Oh boy. That kiss from before had been pretty wild. Try as he might to resist these boyish reactions, being kissed like that had blown right by all his defenses. She pulled him forward, and he could easily stop this at any time but... why? Enjoy the moment. Enjoy making Tsubasa suffer. All he had to do was close his eyes and go along with -

"Please Miss Nabiki, do not ruffle Master Ukyo's clothes with careless grabbing."

Which was when Konatsu popped up right in between him and Nabiki, resulting in the two of them kissing the ninja girl on her cheeks.

By now the crowd was fully invested. Ranma had even found some popcorn. Akane gave him a questioning look, which Ranma misunderstood. So he offered her some. Akane shrugged and start sharing from the same box.

Nabiki grunted and wiped at her mouth, stepping back and fixing her gave on Konatsu. Meanwhile, Tsubasa was laughing uproariously "Serves you right! Skank!"

"Did you see that? They both kissed Konatsu on the cheek!"

"Man, that Ukyo... what a lucky guy! If I was a boy I'd be thrilled to be in that position."

"... Sayuri, please don't draw doujinshi of our fellow students..."

Oh, that was it. That was <i>it</i>! Now these two had brought on the full wrath of Nabiki Tendo! Her normally cold mind was burning hot with anger which in time, would cool, and when it did... When it did there would be <b>so</b> much suffering in their future!

<hr>

So, they were heading back to class when all of a sudden Ranma puts his arm around Ukyo's shoulder. "Hey, Uchan! Didn't realise you were such a player," Ranma said. "Man, you got three chicks after you. That sure is something."

"Y-yeah..." Ukyo grumbled. "Every boy's dream, right?"

"Nah, I'm not that into romance," Ranma said. "Although, Akane asked me to pass on a warning. Pick one and break it off with the others, or she'll break you. I'd keep that in mind, pal. A violent chick like that doesn't take any prisoners."

Well this whole thing was a complete mess from start to end. Gah! Why did those two - screw it, why did <i>Tsubasa</i> have to show up now of all times? Right when she was trying to work on this vengeance thing, that pest pokes his/her nose into Ukyo's business. Again! Can't take the hint, huh? Gotta keep on keeping on. No matter how much it was obvious to any outside observer that her current path was nothing but trouble and would end badly she just kept pressing on! Even getting herself cursed at Jusenkyo out of some missguided attempt towards her goal! Honestly how come Tsubasa was so stubborn and crazy?

Can't he please be allowed to get on with his ten year plan of vengeance already? It wasn't as if anything would dissuade Ukyo Kuonji from this noble goal of using Jusenkyo as a step towards humiliating Ranma Saotome and utterly thoroughly ruining his happiness for the rest of his miserable life!

"Want some popcorn?" Ranma asked. That fiend! Trying to get in his good books by offering food!

"Where did you even get that?" Ukyo asked Which led to Ranma staring really, really hard at the nearly empty bucket of popcorn with a confused expression which, in this light, was almost kind of cute.

....

Leaving now! With great haste! Ukyo turned a corner to get away from the object of her ire, and since he wasn't watching where he was going he ran right into Konatsu. Who was - for some ungodly reason - carrying a hot drink.

Long story short: Ukyo was a she again, and Konatsu was... a boy. Definitely a boy. Ukyo could tell because her hand had landed in a very particular spot, and there was a thing there that shouldn't have been there that was definitely there - and it was bigger than his boy form's! Guh! Penis envy, why?!

"Hey Uchan, I think I'm being stalked by a popcorn vendor," Ranma said, footsteps quickly approaching the corner they'd just gone around. Both Ukyo and Konatsu looked at one another in fright - and then all of a sudden they were up on the roof. "Huh? Man, he must've been in a hurry."

"Oh, never mind them good sir. Would you like some more popcorn?"

"Gah! Go away!"

"But good sir, so many strange and amusing things happen around you! It's inevitable people want to buy a snack as they watch! You're putting my kids through college!"

And they were gone. Ukyo breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness this Konatsu weirdo had been able to haul them up to the ceiling so quickly. Although... there was something weird about this position. Konatsu was in front of Ukyo, while she was pressed up against the corner. Konatsu was keeping her up by pressing his ass up against her torso and - And Konatsu had a fine, fine ass.

"Please accept my apologies for spilling that drink on you," Konatsu said. "Master Ukyo, please allow me to make this up to you."

You know something...? This Konatsu guy, he was really cute. And she had no real hangups about him, no previous irritation, no sense for revenge for the greatest wrong committed against another human being in the history of the world.

"Well... for one thing you could always buy me a new shirt..." Ukyo suggested.

Now, it's worth pointing out right now that Ukyo hadn't realised Konatsu's main character quirk outside of the whole 'dude looks like a lady' deal he/she has going on. Namely: No understanding of money. Like, at all. To Konatsu something as simple as one hundred yen is a valued treasure. The kind of thing that people win lotteries or raid tombs to gain hold of.

So, the prospect of going out to a shop to do something like <i>buy clothes</i> for a pretty girl was, to this momentary boy, akin to an expensive date in a restaurant. As such, he blushed and he took several deep, deep breaths and suddenly became keenly aware that he was leaning his back into her breasts and they were really close and he should let them both down right about now because his underwear was suddenly quite a bit tighter than it was a second ago...

"Probably oughta get something to eat while we're out..." Ukyo groused, thinking about how she didn't get much of a chance to eat lunch today.

This was a date. This was definitely a date. Ukyo Kuonji had asked Konatsu out on a date! Oh, happy days! Never before had Konatsu felt such joy in his/her heart! Why s/he could so easily skip gaily along the corridor singing praises to the fate that had led to this moment!

"W-What sort of meal were you thinking of getting?"

"Eh? Not a meal," Ukyo said. "Just a hot dog would be fine."

A hot dog. A hot dog? A hot dog?! So rich! So extravagant! “Would it have a bun!?” Ukyo stared at Konatsu in confusion before nodding. Aahhhh! Maybe even toppings atop the hot dog! Master Ukyo must really intend to enjoy this date to the fullest to splurge so much on cost! For an unattractive lowly kunoichi! Was this… was this a fairy tale!?

The last thing Ukyo wanted to talk about now was buns. Especially with the way that Konatsu was fidgeting! Thank goodness she was a girl right now. "Uh, yeah I guess so..." she mumbled.

Amazing! This must be - It must be true love! For something as expensive as a hot dog with a bun on a first date - Oh! Bliss! Contentment! It was beyond Konatsu's expectations! A beautiful woman like Ukyo Kuonji showing so much interest so quickly in a humble kunoichi it really was exactly like a fairy tale.

Meanwhile, Nabiki Tendo was being given a wide, wide berth by everyone in her class. Even Tatewaki Kuno had moved his desk as far away as possible. It was as if a bomb had hit the middle of the classroom. A bomb shaped like an irate girlfriend who had just now realised she was the main love interest in a romantic comedy harem series.

It was in Konatsu's best interests that Nabiki hadn't heard that comment about fairy tales. Otherwise Nabiki might have reminded her that in many of the classics, there was no such thing as happy ever after.

  1. Later, Konatsu and Ukyo go out on a date. With Ukyo making damned sure they look like their actual genders so that nobody spreads rumours.
  2. Ukyo resumes trying to get revenge on Ranma. Accidentally gets him to go on a date with Akane.
  3. Nabiki begins her revenge on Tsubasa and Konatsu.
  4. Someone finds out about Ukyo/Konatsu/Tsubasa's Jusenkyo curse.
  5. Something else

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