Story: HPOA 1/2

Picture, if you will, two fathers sitting on either side of a shogi board. Two old friends who haven't seen each other in years. Suddenly, the one in the dirty gi gasps and points off behind the other. The one with the moustache turns around to see, and then his friend moves some of the pieces around into a more favourable position. The one with the moustache turns back, notices the pieces have been moved but pretends that he has not. So he asks his friend to pass the booze, then turns the board around.

"Genma, old friend?" the moustached father asked.

"Yes, Soun?" Genma replied, handing over the bottle and then grunting in frustration at falling for his friend's cunning trap.

"Why are we getting the focus just now?" Soun asked. "I mean, this is a porn thread with comedic undertones. I somehow doubt anyone wishes to see either of us getting any action."

"Ahaha! You sell yourself short, Tendo!" Genma roared, rising to his full height and flexing his muscles. "The ladies can't get enough of that Genma action!"

Cue Kasumi walking through the hallway wearing a naked apron. Neither father noticed. Soun sipped from his glass.

"Well, at least we have faces," Soun mused. "Better than those fat faceless men that appear all the time in hentai..."

"Or the ugly old men who are somehow extremely capable in bed," Genma nodded in agreement. "Though... this does seem to be rather damning with faint praise."

Kasumi walked by, still in a naked apron, only now with what looked like a plate with a heart shaped cake with “Ranma” written in frosting. Again, neither father noticed.

“We both found attractive women to marry, and we’ve both had children. Clearly we’re doing something right.” Soun said. “I mean, sure I haven’t had sex since my dear wife died and you haven’t spent the night with Nodoka since you left to train Ranma.”

"The woman was insatiable," Genma shuddered. "Though this may be a porn thread, it's still entirely possible for a man to have too much sex."

"... Oh, thank you for your advice Auntie Saotome. You've always been such a help when it comes to advice with boys," Kasumi said on the phone while hugging onto a Ranma shaped body pillow. Girl form on one side, boy form on the other.

"Still! I am quite concerned over my daughters," Soun rubbed his chin. "I've never seen Akane or Nabiki behave like that before?"

"Father, dinner is going to be a little late tonight," Kasumi said. "I've had to make two different dishes. Ranma's is full of an extremely potent aphrodisiac, you see."

"Yes, yes Kasumi. You know best," Soun dismissed. Of his daughters his eldest was by far the most responsible and mature. It was the other two that really worried him.

"I'm not even joking. I think it might be about 99% aphrodisiac and 1% sushi. One whiff and he'll be hard for hours."

"Sounds delightful," Soun muttered, truly concerned about what Akane and Nabiki might get up to. He'd seen firsthand the effect of the curse on poor Ranma. Turning him into a hot piece of ass like that, with all those perfect feminine curves and enticing allure... The mere thought of it made him want to shake his fist! It was only the knowledge that she was 16 year old girl that made him pause. Soun Tendo was many things but not a man to go after young girls. Boy was he going to be in a real awkward position once Hinako Ninomiya entered this story.

Anyway, that was a distraction from the main point. Namely: That his youngest two daughters were blatantly besotted with Ranma. The normally level headed Nabiki, losing control? The normally cautious around boys Akane, all but throwing herself at him? It was quite unusual to see that kind of difference in personality come on so suddenly.

“Yes thank you, no sadly this isn’t the sort of porn thread where you get any action. Thanks for the delivery though!” Kasumi, now wearing an even skimper apron, thanked the delivery man. He had given her a package filled with traditional medicine said to increase fertility. Because if she wanted to catch her man what better way than a baby. (This was, tragically, not going to work. Because pregnancy isn’t a fetish being explored in this thread)

"Tendo, I don't know what you're fretting about," Genma said. "This is a porn thread. A porn. Thread. With heavy fourth wall breaking." He looked towards the background, and then Soun tapped him on the shoulder. Then gestured in the right direction, through to you dear viewer. "Don't mind me, just trying to reassure my friend that his beloved daughters are going to be having filthy torrid sex with my son slash daughter regardless of what we say and slash or do."

Soun teared up. "You're a good friend, Genma Saotome!" he bawled. "Breaking the norms of fiction in an attempt to make your best friend feel better! Ah! Well, at least I can rest easy in the solace of that... and the fact that Kasumi, sweet Kasumi, shall remain untouched by the pornographic madness that our life is about to become."

<hr>

Akane gonna get her some. She hung back a bit as Ranma walked up on the fence above her. Boy form. Kind of a shame, but not a total waste. He seemed so cocky strutting about up there. Like he owned the street or at least the fence or ... God, she could watch that butt all day.

"Clumsy tomboy says what?"

"...What was that?" Akane asked. "Did you say something?"

"Nothing," Ranma smirked to himself. Looking over his shoulder and sticking out his tongue. "You think Nabiki enjoyed herself a taste of Kuno's sword?"

"It's a porn thread. So I'd put good odds on it," Akane shrugged. "Uh, we should probably make that the last mention that this is a porn thread, daddy went over it quite a lot in the last scene and it could easily get old super fast."

Meanwhile Nabiki was sitting on the edge of a bed. Edge being the key word in that sentence. She was naked, Kuno was naked, but he was fast asleep. Sawing logs. While she was twitching like a caffeeine addict.

"I... didn't... even get any insertion," Nabiki hissed. Then she turned her attention to the fourth wall and peered behind it. "And you can piss off! I'll make you all suffer later!"

"Yep, Kuno's bound to have given her a deep satisfying dicking," Akane said, licking her lips and not especially imagining anything to do with either her sister or that idiot Kuno... but certainly something involving a Tendo girl getting a deep satisfying dicking from an idiot.

But then a strange feeling hit her out of the blue, knocking her out of this level of arousal that knocked her out of character. "This disturbance..." Akane said, quickly looking around. "I haven't felt like this since -"

"Since the last Star Wars convention?" Ranma quipped.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Indeed she did. Call it a martial artist's instinct. Call it woman's intuition. Call it whatever you like, but Akane had a really strongly negative impression that they really and truly should not go home right now.

"Come on, I really wanna head back to your place," Ranma said. Akane's knees wobbled a bit at hearing that. Not least of which because, while she was distracted, it had inexplicably rained. Because Ranma's cursed form is required to make an appearance as many times as possible in this thread. "If Kasumi's dinner is half as good as her lunch, I'll be one satisfied piece of ass."

"I'll make you a satisfied piece of ass," Akane growled. "Wait, no. We shouldn't head home. It would be a bad idea."

Ranma’s stomach growled, protesting that statement. "Yeah, that doesn't seem like a thing that's happening."

"Could you think with something other than your stomach? Please?"

"Okay!" Ranma hopped down off the fence. Oooh, at close range the effect was stronger. Not fair! Not fair being this cute and sexy and hot piece of assy. "You gotta go home sometime, right? You want me in your bed, right? Well! Gotta go home for that!"

D-Dammit, foiled by her own temptation. Getting that hot piece of ass into bed was a number one priority, but staying away from home was - for some reason- absolutely vital. If only she could remember specifics about that last scene aside from the boring conversation their dads had!

Wait! There was one thing... There was one thing that always, always worked in Ranma 1/2 fanfiction! One way to manipulate Ranma that never, ever failed!

"That's a real shame Ranma," Akane shrugged. "I mean, I was only going to challenge you to a martial arts -"

"You're on!" Ranma yelled, accepting the challenge before even knowing what it was. "Wait, sorry. I wasn't listening. What sort of martial arts challenge is this?"

"Uh... Visiting my friends fu?"

"Visiting... your friends... fu?" Ranma squinted at her. Akane twiddled her thumbs innocently. "Sounds legit. I will spank your ass in visiting your friends fu! Even though I don't really have any friends yet around here..."

Akane sure hoped Sayuri was good at improvising a fake martial arts style with her. At least half as good as she was inventing yuri scenarios. Would that be too much to ask?

<hr>

“So let me see if I’ve got this right.” Sayuri said. “Your parents set up an arranged marriage with a guy. Who turns out to be super yummy, if a little dumb. But he also has this spell on him that turns him into the single sexiest woman alive? And you want to marry him?”

“Yes that’s about right. I’m so glad you’re good at understanding exposition.” Kasumi said, wearing a large coat and sipping tea on Sayuri’s couch.

A tear fell down Sayuri's cheek. "I've nothing more to teach you."

"You didn't teach me anything."

"Well, I mean... You're my single biggest buyer for all of my yuri doujinshi," Sayuri said. "Still, though. For you to describe this girl form as the sexiest woman alive, she's got to be so hot she burns the ground she walks on."

Kasumi held up a picture of Ranma, topless, wringing out her tanktop by the koi pond.

Sayrui suddenly felt the urge to strip naked and masturbate using that photograph. “Oh my god. How is she not married already!? Or at least never sexually unsatisfied ever again!?”

"Because I haven't had the opportunity yet," Kasumi smiled serenely.

<b>“Damn</b> girl.” Sayuri said. “You know, it’s funny. I don’t think Akane knows that I supply you with manga and we’re actually pretty good friends. Funny how that’s never come up.”

Then there was a knock on the front door of her house. Sayuri somehow tore her eyes away from that photograph and went to answer it - and wouldn't you know it but there really is no substitute for meeting sexiness in person.

"Humanahumanahumanhumana..." Sayuri chanted like a mantra. The girl was slouched over, letting her jaw and arms hang down as much as possible. Already she was conjuring scenarios for this pigtailed goddess to be put through. Temptations she would deliver. Innocents she would corrupt. Corruptors who would violate... "Hey! Hands off my eyes!"

"Only when you stop drooling over my piece of ass," Akane said.

"Hehehe... I'm already winning our contest!" Ranma mocked. Ohhh, even her voice was like having honey poured into her ears! "Hi, I'm Ranma. I'd offer to shake your hand, but that seems to make people cum.”

“Please shake my hand.” Sayuri said, holding it out to the hot piece of ass at her front door.

"Ugh... I can't take you anywhere!" Akane complained. "Listen, Sayuri. I have this really bad feeling about going home right now, so I'm gonna take Ranma up to your bed and reenact your last doujinshi."

“The futanari one!?”

“Yes we’re going to see if pouring hot water just on her crotch gives her a dick.” Akane said.

For her part Ranma scratched her head in confusion. "Man, this martial arts style may be the weirdest one I've seen yet!" Then, after a moment's thought she shook her head. "Nah. Martial arts stamp collecting is still the king. All I could taste for a month was glue..."

That really was a cheap attack. Making anyone picture this hot piece of ass licking a lot of things was making both girls quite weak at the knees.

"If you're doing stuff in my room, I get to watch!" Sayuri protested.

"I agree," Kasumi said. "It seems only fair."

Akane stared at her sister for a long, long moment. Then tried really hard to not stare when Kasumi took off her coat, revealing herself to be naked underneath and thoroughly put Akane's body to shame. Not that there was anything wrong with Akane's body or anything, it's just... Kasumi was a knockout. Those three extra years Kasumi had on Akane did a lot for her breasts, and her hips, and her thighs, and pretty much her entire body. If Akane was a hot girl, Kasumi was a sexy <b>woman.</b> If not for Ranma's cursed form you would easily be led to believe this was the ultimate female form.

"Whew..." Ranma whistled. Akane hissed, then put her hand over Ranma's eyes. Then came upon realising she was directly touching Ranma's skin. Guh... "Fancy meeting you here Kasumi!"

"Yeah... funny that you're here," Akane muttered. "Given the way this episode was set up, could've sworn I was coming here to avoid you."

"Maybe your bad feeling was about something else?" Kasumi offered.

"Please, what could possibly be worse than my super hot ‘only not a MILF by not having given birth yet’ older sister trying to steal my man slash hot piece of ass?"

Meanwhile, back at the Tendo residence, Soun Tendo took a swig of the last of the booze. "Well old friend, I'm officially so thoroughly tanked that I think it would be a good idea to strip down, oil up and play a hearty round of twister."

"Shoundsh fun!" Genma sloshed. The two were very different kinds of drunk. Soun got erudite, Genma couldn't form a word with more than one syllable in it.

For the sake of the sanity of all reading, we shall leave that scene right the hell now. You're welcome. Also we're sorry that you're now imagining how that went down. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. In which case you do you.

Meanwhile, back where the sexy fun time were about to kick off (Sayuri let out a little 'yay' just now) we had ourselves a bit of a sexual mexican standoff. Akane, looking to take off some of the stress she'd been dealing with of late. Kasumi, who was naked MILFy and already working out a scheme And Ranma, who still thought this was a martial arts contest.

"And I'm here too!"

Also the yuri doujinshi artist that Akane was friends with.

"I'm not sharing her," Akane warned.

"Me neither," Kasumi smiled serenely.

"Right, I think I'm getting the hang of this now!" Ranma excitedly announced. "It's kind of a weird fighting style, but there is definitely a trick to this."

Who would prevail in this sexual showdown? Whichever it was Ranma was getting laid. The porn must flow! The hot piece of ass must get some! But which girl would be getting lucky today...?

1. Akane is able to seduce Ranma away from Kasumi.
2. Kasumi seduces Ranma.
3. Against all odds Sayuri seduces Ranma.
4. Horny Nabiki steals Ranma away while everyone else argues.
5. Something else