In her time as Sailor V, Minako had seen some things. She had faced off against possessed vibrators, disguised erotic dancers and even an evil pop singer who was brainwashing her audiences into becoming exhibitionists. She had seen people, animals, vegetables and inanimate objects transforming into giant monsters of some variety or another. At this point she really did think that nothing could surprise her anymore.
"Woah..." she gasped, staring in wonder at her hand. "I never even knew half of these colours could exist!"
"Hey, check out the stoned Sailor Venus cosplayer," remarked a passerby. "Wow, she's easily a ten. Think she might want to...?"
"Sorry boys, I don't fool around that easily!" Sailor Venus snapped at them, then turned her nose up and marched off down the street. The extremely detailed street which had way more shades of grey than she knew existed. "Arty, what's up with the colours around here?" she asked the cat trailing along next to her. For once, the little white feline had nothing to say. "And how did they know I was Sailor Venus? I haven't made an official public appearance yet... Shouldn't they think that I'm Sailor V?"
"Rowr!" Artemis answered. And that's another thing! Usually when he was pretending to be an ordinary cat Artemis would <i>say</i> 'rowr' or 'meow' or even maybe a 'purr' if he was feeling frisky. But that was an actual rowr. Full on exactly-what-sound-the-onomatopoeia-implies.
Having noticed this Sailor Venus knelt down. A risky move in a skirt that short, but she was long since shy of modesty in that sense. She stared at the cat. He got on his haunches and stared right back.
"Can you even understand what I'm saying right now?"
Artemis stared up at her. He bobbed his head a little as if nodding 'yes'.
"Can you talk?"
This time Artemis sharply turned his head around, as if shaking his head. It looked weird seeing a cat do it. A cat with way, way more detail than she was used to. It was really freaking her out. Based on everything she'd seen so far, both here and in her regular adventures Sailor Venus was able to come towards one inescapable conclusion about her current situation.
"I haven't the faintest clue what is going on."
Which meant only one thing: Investigation time. Right! There was a shop nearby. Sailor Venus ducked inside. A toy shop by the looks of it. Nobody inside for now, except for a really cute and bored boy on the counter, who she stepped up towards, or rather should that be slunk over to like she wanted to sit on his face. Partly because she kind of did, but also because... Boys tend to be a bit more agreeable to helping out pretty girls if there's a chance of getting a little action. And make no mistake: Sailor Venus was a very, very pretty girl.
"Hi?" the boy nervously said, then audibly gulped when Venus leaned over the counter to make bedroom eyes at him at short range. Now, that really wasn't fair. Surely a war crime of some sort was being committed here. But that's the thing: Sailor Venus had to use every single weapon in her arsenal during the fight against evil, and part of that arsenal included the ability to make men and women into putty in her hands. "Can I... Help you with something?"
"Maybe," she answered, licking her lips. "I'm a little lost and need someone to show me around."
"Oh, well! The - the convention is a few blocks over..." he stammered, while making very obvious glances to her chest. Not that she could blame him. The girls were spectacular. "A cosplay like that- Well, it's going to win all the competitions. Even those you don't enter!"
Artemis hopped up onto the counter and stared a hole through Sailor Venus. He never really appreciated these kinds of antics, now did he? Still, Sailor Venus did not like not understanding where she was or what was happening to her. For that reason, she decided to grab hold of this guy and slip him a little tongue.
"Mmm..." he whimpered into her mouth. Ah, yes. She could almost feel his concentration melting away. By the time their lips parted he was panting and breathing heavily. Probably fully erect by now. In no state of mind to think of much of anything but her, just the way she wanted him.
"I have some questions for you," Minako said, brushing his cheek affectionately. "Where am I? How did I get here? Why does the colour all look so weird and wrong? Why do people already know who Sailor Venus is? Why can't Artemis talk? It's okay if there are some you can't answer, just be honest with me."
"...'kay," the boy mumbled. "Um... Your cat can't talk because it's a cat. Sailor Venus is a popular fictional character who you are currently doing an amazing cosplay of. You walked in through the front door, and you're in my toy store. And... I guess maybe see an eye doctor? I love you."
Okay, so... That wasn't quite as helpful as anticipated. A bell rang, and Venus turned around. A customer had arrived, it seemed, so she couldn't quite be as flirtatious. Never mind. Maybe she ought to leave and find someone else to seduce/interrogate.
"Oh my god that cosplay is amazing!" the new customer gasped. "Can I, uh, take a picture with you? I'll pay good money!"
Kaching! Venus froze in mid-step. Priorities, shifting around. A new venue of information gathering was making itself available to her.
"Sure thing!" she chirped. Artemis rubbed his paw down his face. Possibly cleaning himself, but may also be attempting to facepalm. Pawpalm? "As a pretty guardian of justice, how can I, Sailor Venus, possibly refuse my adoring fans?"
"I really love you!" the boy behind the counter said, staring off into empty space with a remarkably goofy grin.
So, the customer got right up next to Sailor Venus. Tried to cop a feel. Not that she could blame him, her butt was <i>amazing</i>. As were her legs, her boobs, her face... But still!
"Tell me more about the convention," Venus asked him as they got into position.
"Huh? Oh. Yearly anime con. Bunch of fans get together. Some sell merchandise, others cosplay like you're doing... Don't tell me it's your first time! Who did your costume?"
He took a picture with a really weird looking camera. It was really flat and tiny. To his question, Minako tapped the side of her nose knowingly.
"I understand," he said. "God, even the cat looks perfect. Not even a plush. How did you get it to sit still long enough to shave a moon crescent into its forehead?"
"Oh it was rough," Venus chuckled, inspecting her nails. "Like herding cats, you might say."
Artemis hissed, but the two of them chuckled at her little joke. So... A convention for fans of anime? She could hardly see what that meant, but then again...
Next question: "So... Tell me a bit more about Sailor Venus? What sort of character was she?"
The answer was not what she was expecting. "Huh? Oh... She's a real bombshell. Character in Sailor Moon, pretty popular hentai adventure series among us fans with a weirdly meta twist. It's funny, because girls and guys both really like it. It's just a shame Venus disappeared when she did, dropped right off the map for no good reason."
"Dropped off the map?"
"Yeah!" the customer nodded. "She was all set up for this big entrance. All we got to see was her transformation as she fell into this freaky portal... and that was the end of it. We've been speculating for decades about what happened to her. Was it a trap set up by Queen Beryl? Doesn't seem like her, she wanted to seduce the Sailors rather than kill them. The later villains don't make much sense either, 'cause that's not how they worked and some of them didn't even start doing anything until way later on..."
"I love you," the boy behind the counter sighed.
As for Sailor Venus, she was not loving this. Here, she was considered a fictional character? Bah! Someone as hot as her couldn't possibly be fictional. The universe would be completely unfair if it couldn't have someone as drop dead gorgeous as her strutting about in it. And what was that about her disappearing? She was already right here!
Venus strode out of the shop and leaned against the wall, deep in thought. Not a thing she liked doing usually but there you go. What was going on? Some kind of youma trick to make her give up on being Sailor Venus? Possibly! If it was though... She needed to break it sharpish!
A minute later the customer came out of the shop. He smiled and nodded to her as he went on his way. She considered asking him to show her around. Yeah, maybe that was the ticket. Flirt with him a little, ask him a few more questions about this crazy place. She could still reduce a guy's mind to a puddle with her well practised flirtation technique. A guy like that wasn't usually the sort to get her interest, but -
But he was being mugged. Someone just pushed him over, grabbed that weird camera thing right out of his hands as well as the bag he was carrying, then started running off down the street at full pelt.
The reaction from Venus was immediate: "Venus Love Me Chain!" she yelled. Her new attack! She'd not had the chance to use it yet - and would have to wait a little longer before she could. The attack failed to manifest, as this reality did not have something like magic, could not permit something like a series of linking heart shaped energy to form into a chain with real physical substance. And so the thief simply ran right past Venus while she was waiting for something to happen.
"Hey! Get back here!" she yelled, quickly whirling around - causing her skirt to whirl up and giving a free show to the customer that caused him to stop and gawp, his stolen goods forgotten by the sheer awesome combo hit of her two legs and the booty of a love goddess - then immediately charged after him at full pelt.
Funny thing about the Sailor transformation, incidentally. Did you know that it does more than change their clothing into fetishware and give them magical powers. It's true! In particular the changes are of a more muscular form. The strength these girls can show is frankly inhuman, as their muscles are enhanced to a remarkable degree.
That's why Sailor Venus had pretty much no trouble at all catching up to the guy and tackling him to the ground. Unfortunately, she didn't quite know her own strength and, well...
"Oh no, the bag! Oh no, his camera thingy!"
Indeed, both were now flung into the air above them. Forgetting the criminal for a moment, Sailor Venus leaped into the air in a sight of grace and beauty that rivalled the rising sun. Thanks to her quick reaction she was able to grab them both out of the air and made ready for a perfect pinpoint landing on the pavement.
Only to go right through it.
"Waaaaah! Not again!" she yelled as she flew through the corridors of reality.
"D... Did that just happen?" asked the crook. Then much to his further disbelief, a white cat strode along, dipped a paw into the same patch of solid pavement, then jumped in afterwards. "That's it! I'm done with weed. Those dumbass PSAs were right after all!"
Funny thing though. What sort of effect could a modern era mobile phone and a bag full of modern toys have on the freshly malleable reality of Sailor Moon? Well... That could depend on what's in the bag, couldn't it?
- Fatesplit for what's in the bag, and it had better not devolve into a fatesplit cascade.
- Meanwhile, Ami is set on deprogramming Kotori.
- Rei attempts to resist temptation. For all the good it will do her.
- The Generals set up their seduction scenarios.
- Usagi and Mamoru chat.
- Something else
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