Story: UY First Impression

Finally. At last! Triumph, victory! The kelsecs were squared, and the ifles circled. Or, ahem, to put it in humanese all of the 'i's were dotted, and all the 't's crossed. Lum did a backflip in the air, gripping her permission form tightly to her chest. Huzzah! Who could have guessed she'd be so happy to have a signed legal document? This was all so exciting: She'd finally be able to settle down on Earth and get so much hot, nasty sex from that filthy minded perverted human boy. And his equally pervy girlfriend!

"Lum, I certainly understand your enthusiasm," Oyuki said, standing on the ground a little to Lum's left. "However, I must enquire if it is your intention to make a spectacle of yourself."

"Sorry, sorry!" Lum laughed, and lowered herself to the ground next to her Ice Princess friend. "I can't help it. That red tape felt like it took years to cut through!" She fist pumped the air. "We're finally going to Earth! Woo!"

Now, here we can see the contrast between these two alien beauties. Where Lum wore her emotion on her sleeve (forgetting for a moment that her normal clothes do not have sleeves) Oyuki was a more subdued woman. She was actually just as enthusiastic about having the opportunity to lay with Moroboshi as Lum was. Yet the only sign of this was a very slight upturn of her lips, and a naughty twinkle in her eye.

The two of them strode quickly through the grey and dull, oh so very dull office corridor. Honestly now, if it were up to Lum then this place would really work wonders with a splash of colour. Was it any wonder that a single day felt like years? These colours and blocky design probably had some kind of temporal distorting effect.

On that basis she'd never been so glad in all of her life to finally make it outside, and boy was she happy to have her spaceship here! It was a real sight for sore eyes. Both her and Oyuki strutted aboard, earning them more than a couple of looks from both men and women they passed on the way.

"It should be a crime to be this sexy," Lum purred once the door shut behind her. The hot Oni girl stretched out her arms and drifted a few inches off the ground and across to her craft's pilot seat, while she heard Oyuki behind her hanging up her robe. "I wonder how much trouble Benten got in yesterday?" Lum quipped, turning her seat around. "Given Earth customs... and superstition..."

Now, it's important to note here that Lum was entirely expecting Oyuki to be wearing her normal orange bikini. A simple one piece that was neither cut too high, nor too low. It was sensible and  modest, especially compared to Lum and Benten's usual attire. What she was not expecting to see was Oyuki standing demurely by the craft's entrance, flicking back her hair while clad in a still orange bikini with all of the fabric kept together, but one that was far more of the 'string' variety than anything on the spectrum of modest.

Lum tended to forget how absolutely rocking Oyuki's body was since she didn't tend to deliberately flaunt it often. That pale flesh, that fit physique, those enticing curves... It was enough to set her to drooling.

"Too much?" Oyuki asked, lifting her leg while putting her hands behind her head. "I was hoping to make our first proper day on Earth memorable, and picked out something special."

"You... You've been wearing that all day underneath your robes?" Lum asked, boggle eyed for more reason than one. "When we were queuing. When we were filling out the forms, you had that on." Lum squirmed a little in her seat. "And if there had been some kind of mishap, if you'd been asked to remove the robe for security purposes then everyone would have seen what you were almost wearing, a bikini that makes mine seem covering and prudish by comparison..."

Oyuki had to fan herself down while hearing Lum speak. "Well, yes. When you put it like that..." she remarked. "I suppose it was rather risky, was it not?" Actually the word Lum would use was risque. The Ice Princess then retrieved a couple of bottles from a bag Lum hadn't noticed before. "What do you think?" she asked. "Plutonian Honey, or Venusian Oils? Oh, why not be special: Both at once for such an exciting day to mark the rest of our lives."

"The... Rest... Of our lives..." Lum trailed off. Slowly and mechanically she rose from the seat - not standing but floating - The rest of their lives, spent on Earth with her friends and two human lovers who went above and beyond any of her expectations. Ataru's face flashed in her mind, making a big stupid grin. Lum clenched her thighs together as a sudden spark of sensation shot clear down her spine.

Yes. She could easily see herself spending the rest of her life with that human. The rest of her life...

"On second thoughts, perhaps we ought to pick up something special for the occasion?" Lum suggested, absently twirling her index finger around her navel in a manner most like she would rather it be a little lower and making similar actions. "We should really make sure that this is a special occasion, tcha..."

"I quite agree," Oyuki bowed, a move that was rather dangerous given her current attire. And for that matter, dangerous in more ways than one! "It would be best to ensure that we got everything correct for this first day, to set the day for many more still to come. Besides, I am certain a little longer wait will not be too much of a problem. I am sure Moroboshi is having a lot of fun with Benten and Shinobu."

Ooh, that got her jealousy up something fierce! Well then, so be it! Now she was determined to pick out the perfect little toys to play with them to her heart's desire. By the time she was done, Ataru would be putty in her hands!
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So what was Ataru doing at that very moment? What else? Suffering and plenty of it! He was tied down, shoes off, ankles being held down while the remaining Oyuki cultists tickled his feet with feathers. It was shameless! Despicable! Had they no sense of decency, no sense of honour or integrity?

"Give up, Moroboshi!" the leader demanded. "We can keep this up all day and all night if we must!"

"N-never, you fiends! Hahahahaha!" Ataru writhed and squirmed, laughing until he was blue in the face. If they thought something like this would break Ataru Moroboshi's spirit, they didn't know him too well! There was nothing they could do to force him to help them. Nothing they could do could break his spirit, and sure enough the feathers were withdrawn leaving him sucking in air, but not laughing his fool head off any longer.

The leader stepped forward. A menacing shadow cast over his face as he leaned over Ataru, who wondered what sort of hell they intended to put him through next. The dreaded water drip torture? Making him listen to off-key singing? Whatever it was his will would endure, he would never help them -

"There's a maths test tomorrow," the leader said, rocking on his heels and inspecting his fingernails. "Do you want to copy off my answers?"

"Gentlemen, we have a deal!"

One thing was for certain. If you couldn't appeal to Ataru's perversion, then appeal to his laziness. You'll get your desired response from one or the other, guaranteed! His ropes were untied and he was brought up to his feet, then led into a circle with the others joining hands.

"It's really quite simple," the leader said. "To conduct this summoning ritual all we have to do is chant 'Bentora Ice Princess' until she arrives."

And so they did just that. "Bentora Ice Princess. Bentora Ice Princess. Bentora Ice Princess." Ataru strongly doubted that it would work, but what the hell? He'd accidentally summoned a devil to his house that turned into a super hot demon chick who made out with super hot priestesses. His luck was apparently pretty good for this kind of thing!

He refocused his efforts into the chant, just to see what would happen. "Bentora Ice Princess. Bentora Ice Princess..." Maybe it would be nothing, but what the hell? With the way his life had been recently it was sure worth a try!

Then all of a sudden the heavens pierced, and an alien spacecraft materialised out of nowhere. They were all suddenly beamed aboard by the unusual craft, though none of them could have imagined what they'd find aboard!


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Just on the edge of waking up, Shinobu noticed that her wrists were bound behind her back. "Oh Ataru..." she mumbled, feigning sleepy struggle against the bonds. "So adventurous..."

Then her eyes came open and suddenly Shinobu realised that things weren't quite as they seemed. She was in some dark basement, with a bunch of robe-wearing idiots huddled in a corner looming over something. How did she know they were idiots? Well, when you hang out with Ataru Moroboshi for long enough you start to pick up the knack.

"You know, it does occur to me that we kidnapped a cute girl, tied her up and are now crafting a ransom note because we want to meet her hot friend," one of them said. "Does... Does that make us the bad guys?"

That particular idiot earned himself a wap to the back of the head by at least three other idiots. "No, stupid! If anyone is the idiot it's her and her worthless boyfriend for hogging the space booty! Now, we have to get this right... Hrm, if we send her a ransom then she's likely to contact the police..."

"Maybe we should send her a note claiming it's from Shinobu herself?" suggested a girl idiot. "Ask her to meet up somewhere, then maybe we can talk with her while she waits for Shinobu!"

"Sounds sensible," nodded another idiot. "But which of us gets to deliver the message to Benten?"

"Oh, I can handle that for you."

The idiots all turned around as one to see Shinobu sitting up and smiling at them. But it wasn't a <i>smile</i> smile, far from it in fact. It was the sort of smile a cute and perfectly ordinary girl had on her face when it was too dangerous to properly express how thoroughly pissed off she was right now because it would cause her facial muscles to snap like brittle twigs.

To whit: Shinobu flexed her wrists and the ropes binding them snapped like - well, like her facial muscles would have if she'd properly expressed her rage.

"So, which of you idiots would like to introduce themselves first?" Shinobu asked. Ah! Maybe she spoke too soon: They were all starting to cower away in their corner, shrinking down as she walked forward. Maybe, just maybe, they weren't idiots after all.

1. Meanwhile, the Lum worshippers try to summon Lum... And earn themselves a visit from Ryunosuke and Ran!
2. Benten runs into Sakura and Chocolate. Mischief ensues. Naughty, kinky mischief.
3. Ataru and the Oyuki worshippers find themselves on a travelling full body massage alien craft, which promises to work out all of the kinks and leave you totally satisfied. Can they resist the expensive temptation?
4. The UFO is actually a lost stripper transport who thinks Ataru is their client.
5. It's actually Kurama arriving super early.
6. Something else