So here is my report. When we separated from Haruhi and Kyon - that is to say, myself and the alien human interface called Yuki separated from Haruhi and Kyon we began to pretend that we were looking for something strange. Like always. It was simply going through the motions. Yuki would detect anything we needed to keep out of Haruhi's line of sight, so this really was not an issue at all.
I suppose I should talk about Yuki a little bit? To be honest, I think she's really cute! I'm not quite as interested in her as Kyon is, and she's a little bit hard to engage with sometimes. But she's still really really interesting and clever. It's just that we don't talk about anything aside from our respective missions, which luckily coincide with each other in all instances so far. I am a little scared of what would happen if they did not.
A-Anyway! Everything was pretty normal at first. We were 'investigating' the arcade, when all of a sudden things kept being normal, but a different kind of normal I suppose. I did not think anything of it until Kyon filled us in later on. I suppose he'll get to that soon enough, but anyway, maybe explaining the conversation direction will make things more obvious? Let's try that approach.
"Yuki?" I asked, having made sure nobody else was around. "Do you know what actually caused the blackout?" Maybe if we figured that out first Haruhi might lose interest in the arcade. That might be a good thing, or maybe not.
"I have been scanning the building for likely causes," Yuki answered, monotone as ever. Then, just at that moment, it hit us both without either one of us noticing. "However, those large pendulous mammaries of yours appear to be exerting a significant enough gravitational force to baffle my scanning facility. Please permit me to grope them."
I blinked, but didn't consider this an especially strange thing for Yuki to request. It's perfectly normal for people to want to grope my breasts. I do it quite often while remarking on how splendid they were, and how jealous I would be if other girls had them. That behaviour was perfectly normal, so I started to give my own chest a squeeze and -
Ah, sorry! Kyon was reading over my shoulder and for some reason he fainted! I had to stop writing to help him recover, the poor boy must be anemic or something. Anyway! It was at about this point that Koizumi showed up. He smiled and waved at us, then beckoned us across to a corner of the arcade. I was still a bit in thought over Yuki who hadn’t gotten the chance to feel up my breasts much due to the interruption. Sure, while that was a perfectly ordinary everyday event, but I still felt flattered with her compliments. I would have to return them sometime, together with a grope towards her chest. The girl can use a hand to help her grow, but don’t tell her I said that.
"I've just been talking with a few of our contacts," Koizumi whispered. Or perhaps he was talking at a speaking volume, it was really loud in that part of the arcade. Thinking about it now that may be why he wanted to talk there: Less chance of being overheard. "It might save some time for our investigation, yes?"
"Yes, I suppose so," I said and Yuki just stared at him without saying anything. I felt a sigh of resignation coming up in my throat already. I was pretty sure this would be yet another mundane discovery. Even though I was a time traveller, Koizumi was an esper and Yuki was an alien, I still desperately wanted to find out about other interesting things in this world. It felt like there had to be more than just us around and - What am I talking about, that's completely normal. Of course everyone feels that way already, I don't need to tell you!
Kyon just informed me that I do actually need to tell you that sort of thing, but also asked that I leave in the fact that I found it totally normal. I do not understand why, but alright!
"In any event, it seems likely that the blackout was caused by a fuse being blown out, and the newspaper blew a statement by a technician out of all proportion." Once Koizumi said that, I released the captive sigh into the wild. Of course it was probably just a blown fuse, you had not yet invented [CLASSIFIED INFORMATION] in this timezone, had you? "However... What is strange is that a week ago, this arcade underwent a change of management."
My attention perked up again, and even though she hadn't moved an inch I could somehow tell that Yuki's was as well. Koizumi rubbed his chin in deep thought before continuing.
"Now, that's not really too strange by itself. Places change ownership all the time, and it's possible that the new owner did not properly understand something, resulting in the blackout. That sort of coincidence is easily to explain in a mundane manner... Except..."
"Except?" I yelped, like an excited dog jumping for a treat.
"Except that we can find neither hide nor hair of this mysterious new owner existing prior to about three years ago."
Ding! Fascination has been peaked! Ah, but there lay the problem: This was really, really exciting, but at the same time we could hardly risk Haruhi learning about it. What a conundrum! It made me want to bully Kyon just so I could watch him sigh in that cute way he does while I pretended not to like him. That always seemed to make Haruhi happy, and of course that girl's behaviour is totally and completely normal.
"Ah, please forgive me," Koizumi said, stepping forward to grope my chest. "It has been bothering me since we began. These melons are far too enticing to be real, and I simply have to remind myself that they are indeed all natural flesh and blood. Though I must admit Miss Asahina, if I were a woman I would be quite jealous."
"Nothing to apologise for," I told him. Koizumi was perfectly free to cop a feel whenever he wanted, there was nothing at all strange or unusual about this behaviour.
Oh dear, for some reason Kyon just slapped Koizumi around the back of his head. How terribly violent! I hope the two of them are not falling out over something. Kyon wants me to continue, so here goes!
"Analysis complete," Yuki said, then pushed Koizumi out of the way and began to get in her own playful fondle. "Technology unknown to this time period has been identified in the arcade's basement. Cross-checking against database to confirm potential intention of device." She suddenly tweaked my nipples through the fabric. Oh, Yuki! Such dextrous fingers! If only there was a little more emotion in your actions, this would be quite the intense experience!
Kyon fainted again! Ah! That poor boy.
"Confirmed," Yuki continued even as her fingers kept playing my breasts like some sort of instrument. I could feel heat shoot into my chest and my nipples harden. That girl made up for lack of emotion with calm endurance and quiet enthusiasm. "Technology conforms to currently understood theories on multiversal travel." The alien girl's lips twitched briefly into something resembling a smile. "High probability exists that owners are sliders from a parallel universe."
"Ehhhhhhh?!" I gasped, and grasped Yuki's shoulders. My eyes must have been shining with excitement: Koizumi and Yuki's sure were! "Do you know what that means? That's so cool! We have to talk with them right now! I have so many questions!"
Koizumi nodded. "As do I. But we must take care not to let our excitement about this new discovery lead us into a careless first contact. Would you not agree Yuki?"
Yuki gave a stoic thumbs up, releasing one hand from my chest in the process. The alien had continued in her ministration during all of this and I felt my breath hitch a little. How did she multitask like that anyway?
"On that basis, we must approach this matter with utmost care and consideration," Koizumi nodded. "There are three reasons that they might be exercising this level of caution and secrecy. The first is that they are hostile. The second is that they are attempting to avoid contamination of this timeline with their own technology. The third is that they are afraid of us."
Both girls nodded. That made sense.
"I volunteer to approach them first," Yuki said, raising her hand.
"Awww?" I pouted. "But why you? I want to be the one to go first!"
"No, that makes a lot of sense," Koizumi said, though he was also pretty obviously disappointed. "If Yuki cannot handle them, then there would be nothing the rest of us could do that would make any difference. Of course, that assumes they are hostile."
"In addition, I am the only one that knows where their hidden basement entrance is and how to access it," Yuki said, still as monotone as ever. "And I will not surrender that information."
Oh, blast! Not fair! I had waited for this chance since I had been sent back to the past. And now it was being snatched away. Surely I could have been a good ambassador too, right? I would be able to gain their amity through friendly peace talk, cultural exchange and mutual breast groping. That always seemed to stop any hostilities. "What should we do, then?"
"Distract Haruhi," Koizumi said. "And also bring Kyon up to speed."
- Switch to Yuki's perspective, as she investigates the sliders.
- Kyon explains to Koizumi about the earrings and tries to demonstrate them.
- Kyon and Haruhi encounter the slider.
- Mikuru tries her best to distract Haruhi.
- Something else
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