Story: Drive

 

The next area that Dante travelled into after Wrath was, of course, Heresy. A fact that both Asukas were keenly aware of. It filled them both with a sense of dread, for it was the penultimate circle in the journey... and they seemed to be going deeper and deeper still into the Geofront. What horrors might they find down here? What sexual deviances might be contrived around the theme of heresy? Trying to guess based on that which they had uncovered so far offered no predictive force, and so, our trio could only march on in the vain hope that they could survive, endure, prevent themselves from becoming absolutely drenched in sin.

Thus, they arrived. Muscle Asuka took the lead, while the other two hung back. Asuka tried to eat Shinji's fingers. Shinji tried to pilfer some loose screws into his pocket. Urgh! And, of course, the two of them were pointedly looking away from each other. It really sucked having the most common sense around here! Whatever! She opened up the door and - 

Boggled at the contrast between inside the area and out. You see, outside? Pretty dark and dreary. A military corridor for keeping something top secret, with the door left weirdly unlocked right at the end. It was functional, the aesthetics weren't given much thought or consideration. 

Asuka and Shinji stepped into Central Dogma, and both halted, caught off guard by the sight before them. The once sterile and imposing command centre, with its rows of blinking monitors and walls of sombre concrete, had transformed into something out of a fever dream. Tables stretched endlessly beneath the glaring fluorescent lights, laden with stacks of worn manga, collectible figurines, and outdated DVDs. A faint, unending murmur filled the air, as though the walls themselves were speaking, whispering endless and feverish debates.

Then, they saw them: dozens—no, hundreds—of Rei Ayanamis, each dressed in elaborate and entirely uncharacteristic costumes. Some wore suits of armour, a few were wrapped in billowing cloaks and wielded plastic swords, and many more were clad in brightly coloured wigs and outlandish outfits that Asuka barely recognized, even from passing glimpses of pop culture. It was as if every fictional character in existence had decided to come to this distorted convention, but all had chosen to cosplay as Rei.

“What... what is this?” Asuka’s voice was thick with disbelief, her eyes wide as she tried to process the scene. The Rei clones were everywhere, moving in slow, robotic synchronisation, yet somehow deeply involved in whatever they were discussing.

Shinji shook his head, his brows knit as he tried to find words. “I don’t know. It looks like... a convention?” He glanced around, and his eyes stopped at a nearby Rei dressed as a warrior princess, her elaborate armour dull beneath the fluorescent lights. She sat at a long table next to two other Reis, one in a magical girl costume and another in a black cloak with a massive, impractical prop sword strapped to her back. All three were intensely focused, speaking in low, monotonous voices about “canon” and “non-canon” as though their lives depended on it.

"Christopher Tolkien's contributions must be considered within any reasonable discussion," said the warrior Rei.

“Your sources are corrupted,” the black-robed Rei said flatly, her voice quiet yet cutting. “Christopher Tolkien’s later interpretations do not carry the same weight as J.R.R. Tolkien’s original works. It is heresy to rely on anything posthumously altered for definitive canon.”

The magical girl Rei drew herself up, her wand pointing accusingly. “The History of Middle-earth is essential for understanding the fullness of Arda’s creation!” she countered, her words laced with quiet disdain. “Only a fool would ignore the author’s intention behind The Silmarillion, which expands upon the foundational lore. The later edits are not heretical—they are revelatory!”

This had the makings of a very stupid argument that none of the three of them wanted any part in. Except - 

"Hey, these Reis are all mine!" Shinji whispered menacingly. "I'll fight you for them if I have to."

"Those thighs do sure look succulent..." Asuka whispered, and so, Muscle Asuka bonked their heads together.

"Behave!" she admonished. "We're here for a reason, don't get distracted by -"

“As stated in the Expanded Universe sourcebook,” intoned a Rei wearing a tan hooded robe. “The truth of the Clone Wars was always meant to reflect the inevitable repetition of history. Therefore, Luke Skywalker’s journey is intrinsically linked to Anakin’s, following the same patterns of temptation and redemption.”

Muscle's eye twitched, while Asuka discovered a Rei wearing a chef's uniform wandering around offering free samples of some garlic bread with melted cheese and bits of ham atop it.

"Hold on, now!" Muscle interrupted. "The Expanded Universe didn't happen onscreen, so you cannot call it canon!"

"The Christmas Special happened onscreen," said a Rei dressed in dark clothes. Funny thing, due to the red eyes she didn't even have to wear contacts. "Is that canon?"

Grrr! She really hated this place already! It was eating at her soul and - Wait a minute. Really?! This was the 'heresy' they were talking about? Arguing about the canonicity of -

"Oh, because 'canon' originally referenced the Biblical Canon!" Muscle slapped her own forehead. "Duh, obviously! How did I miss that?!"

"Dunno," said a familiar voice. Whirling around, Muscle caught herself looking at Misato Katsuragi, who was walking through teh convention hand in hand with a Rei. "You're normally pretty sharp, Asuka. Then again, you've obviously been hitting the gym. Damn, girl! You can probably lift the gym itself, never mind having to go inside!"

"Yes, yes, I'm a muscle mommy," Muscle flipped her hair back. "Listen, try to avoid getting drawn into conversations here, it's how this place corrupts you. They'll try to lure you in by being flat out wrong about some body of work and try to bring you into a stupid argument."

"I am not concerned," Rei said. "Mommy shall protect me."

Which got Muscle giving them a Look. Misato also fidgeted quite a bit, but now that Muscle was looking, Misato did seem rather overprotective of Rei in her body language.

"We know," Misato said. "It's a long story. We can't help it. Try to get past it."

"It's a sex thing," Rei admitted. "Much like I'm assuming the other Asuka over there has a sex thing with food, given that she is attempting to fellate a carrot."

"And Shinji's trying to 'collect' the various Reis in costume..." Misato muttered. "This place really gets into your head, doesn't it? They really put out all the stops to corrupt you with sex from so many different directions. It's pretty eye opening what can be made horny with even the slightest effort."

Yeah, who could have guessed they'd try to fetishise stupid debates? I mean. Given what the Reis were wearing, it wasn't like they'd have to put too much effort into it. Those costumes were all pretty unique and showy, but in different enough ways that your eyes were treated no matter where you looked. No matter what you were into or interested in, there'd be something there for you to see, and -

Oh dear. It looked like the situation was about to get worse, before it got better...

=====

Shinji wasn’t sure how he’d gotten separated from the others (hint: He'd been trying his best to collect Reis, but couldn't decide which ones he wanted more), but he found himself stopped in his tracks, staring at two unfamiliar versions of Rei. The first Rei stood tall in a crisp, pristine Earth Federation uniform, its military sharpness contrasted only by her soft, expressionless face. The golden badge on her chest glinted under the fluorescent lights, and she held a model mobile suit in her hands—a miniature RX-78-2 Gundam, its tiny beam rifle aimed forward as if to punctuate her intensity. She looked at Shinji with an unwavering gaze, stepping closer.

"Do you agree that the Universal Century is the only true canon?" she asked, her voice gentle but insistent.

Before he could answer, the second Rei—a striking contrast in a deep crimson Zeon pilot suit, with Char’s signature white mask resting atop her head—took a step forward. Her eyes were intense as they watched him, almost daring him to agree with her Federation counterpart.

“Don’t be deceived by such limited thinking,” Zeon-Rei said, holding up a miniature Zaku II, painted in Char’s red, which she displayed like a talisman. “You understand the value of a tragic, noble cause... don’t you?”

Shinji blinked, not sure what he understood at all. Both Reis leaned in, looking at him expectantly, and he could feel their intensity radiating as if his answer were far more important than he could ever know.

"If you agree with me," the Federation Rei said. "I will become your sexual plaything."

"If you agree with me," the Zeon Rei said. "Then all of Zeon shall become your sexual plaything!"

If you know anything about Gundam, that second offer is both worse and better than the first one, by a lot, depending on how you look at it. Pity this poor fool, for he knows not the hell that he is about to enter!

======

Asuka had been scanning the crowd for Shinji(and food) when two figures emerged from behind a cardboard cutout of a Hokage monument. Both wore the classic Naruto ninja attire, yet one was unmistakably outfitted as Naruto himself, complete with an orange and black jacket, a black headband bearing the Leaf Village insignia, and a swirl painted on her cheek. Her expression was as neutral as ever, yet her stance practically screamed enthusiasm.

The second Rei, however, wore a dark blue outfit, her headband scratched across the Leaf Village insignia—a mark of the rogue ninja—and a pair of plastic Sharingan contact lenses that glinted ominously as she looked at Asuka. This Rei had Sasuke’s signature katana strapped across her back and a shadowy demeanour as cold as Naruto-Rei’s was intense.

“Hard work and determination triumph over destiny,” Naruto-Rei said firmly, almost as if reciting a mantra, her neutral face at odds with her resolute tone. “Naruto’s path is the way to true strength.”

Sasuke-Rei scoffed, folding her arms. “Only fools cling to others. True power is found alone, in the pursuit of one’s own purpose.”

Asuka looked from one Rei to the other, raising an eyebrow. “What, you expect me to pick one of you? Based on a kid’s show?”

Naruto-Rei took a step forward, her eyes almost pleading. “You must understand. This is no mere show—Naruto’s ideals are profound. If you take his side, I promise you... great rewards.” Which she said while leaning forward, pinching her big boobs between her upper arms.

Sasuke-Rei’s gaze was intense. “And if you understand Sasuke’s true strength... perhaps you’ll find something in yourself that you’ve been missing.” She half turned and bent over to really put some emphasis on her ass.

Asuka's mouth was watering already. Quite the delectable choice she had for a meal! But here, she too was feeling the tug of heresy at the base of her soul. The danger of heresy is, after all, the willingness to reject an obvious truth for the sake of self benefit!