Story: Sudden Wedding

 

The next day, Ranma was no closer to working it out. His stupid future self must have said something really dumb to them that set them off like this. Though the hell of it was, what could've set off Akane and Kasumi like that, but not Nabiki? It didn't make sense. It didn't track at all! His stupid diary wasn't any help either, as usual.

It was even worse this morning when he realised Kasumi hadn't made him breakfast. Or lunch, for that matter. Oh, and Akane had already left for school by the time he'd finished sparring with pops. Meaning she wasn't even giving him the chance to apologise or try to make it up to her or whatever. Nabiki, though? She'd waited for him. Grabbed onto his arm and walked with him to school, holding on so tight he couldn't even jump on the fence for balance training. Not without carrying her bridal style, which... Bah, he didn't wanna do that right now anyway!

"Do you want my advice?" Nabiki asked.

"How much would it cost me?" Ranma replied right away.

"Oh, rather more than me going to school on your arm is going to," Nabiki chirped, rubbing her head into his upper arm. Okay, he had to admit, that did feel good but did she have to put it like that? "Isn't it nice having a cute girl on your arm, dear?"

"Not when it's being done to bilk me out of money," Ranma said. Nabiki pulled away, thank goodness, he hopped up on the fence. "Listen, I really am not in the mood to be teased or toyed with right now. I need some space to think."

"Well, that's a shame," Nabiki rolled on her heels. "Because, you see, I may or may not have sold free time for you with the other girls."

...

"You did what now?" Ranma asked, then found himself being snuggled from behind by an overly amorous Chinese babe.

"Airen go on date with Shampoo!" 

This was gonna be his life for a stretch, wasn't it?! Urgh! He needed to figure out a way to make it up to Akane, and quickly! Before one of these crazy girls did something to mess up his future!

=====

Nabiki Tendo is an opportunist at heart. She didn't see this mutual wedding thing as anything but an opportunity to play around, have a bit of fun, maybe make some money out of a loud mouthed braggart, who happened to be a talented martial artist. Oh, sure, maybe one day they would actually get married and all that nonsense, but honestly to her point of view that was a hypothetical. A distant future which may or may not come to be.

Right now? It was all about the fun. And she was definitely having that! To think, Saotome would be such an idiot that he hadn't realised why Akane and Kasumi would be so upset with him. Maybe if he paid her enough, she'd give him a hint, but in the meantime...? 

She was gonna make bank from those other girls dragging him off on dates. Hah! Then, when she'd worn him out, she'd sell him back to Akane, and - Speaking of whom, there she is now.

"Morning sis!" Nabiki waved. Akane was standing amidst a field of fallen boys, the top athletes of the school. That is to say, the top male athletes, with the exception of Ranma himself. "So the boys started up again, did they?"

"Yeah!" Akane turned to glower at her. "Somehow they heard about the engagement being off. Pretty much immediately started on me. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Not me," Nabiki said. "Maybe one of the other girls." Very probably. It was exactly the sort of thing Kodachi or Shampoo would do to try and get rid of her permanently. Get her a more permanent boyfriend. Hah! None of these dopes were a good enough match for her. "So, you ready to take him back? I'll make the price reasonable for you~"

"Not until he apologises!" Akane huffed. "Not that I want him back, or anything..."

Sure you don't, little sis! All Nabiki could do was shake her head. If the two of them weren't so stubborn, they would've absolutely fooled around by now. A real pair of stubborn, shy idiots if you asked her. She'd never wind up so blatantly lovestruck, and even if she did, she'd be much smarter about it than either of these dopes.

"Hey, where is that idiot, anyway?"

Oh, little sister, you ask such important questions! You really do open yourself up to these things don't you? Surely such a talented young martial artist should know better than to leave herself wide open like that, yes? Time for a quick lesson!

"Off on a date with Shampoo," Nabiki said. Quite honestly. "I mean, since the engagement is off with you and Kasumi, obviously he's going to need to pick a second and third wife." As was their custom within this world where there were way less men than women. "I'm sure they're having a really fun time." Twitch, twitch. "Especially since Shampoo is so clingy all the time." Twitch, twitch. "I'm sure Ranma will be able to make his choice quickly!"

"See if I care, then!" Akane stomped off into school, in the process showing exactly how much she cared by leaving footprints. In the concrete. Oh dear, oh dear. This might be too much fun. At this rate, she might not want to ever give it up~

=====

Akane's not stupid. Most of the time. Right now though, she didn't feel like she was being stupid. Probably. She might not be the best person to tell. Regardless! She knew what Nabiki's game was. She knew that Nabiki loved, loved, loved to make fun of other people. Poke them, needle them, prod them until they react.

It was actually part of the problem. Part of why she'd shoved the engagement off onto Nabiki instead. Because Ranma was kind of the same way, wasn't he? That incident had been the last straw, but it takes more than one piece to break a camel's back.

Still, Ranma's behaviour was really weird sometimes. It was like he'd kinda temporarily forget he'd done something. Seem completely disoriented, and - No, it was probably just her imagination, that's all.

"Fair Akane, I shall date -"

Wham! Akane wasn't even entirely sure what she'd just hit Kuno with, but it did make her feel a bit better. Ranma really did get to her, huh? Again! Like always! He seemed to just... have this natural talent for grinding her gears something rotten. He was probably having a lot of fun on that date with Shampoo, as well. Oh yeah, she could see it easily enough.

<i>"Does Airen like Shampoo's naked apron?"

"Definitely! It suits you much better than it ever would a certain violent tomboy."

"Kukuku, Shampoo is pretty sure she lesbian anyway, even in this fantasy she's too busy checking out Shampoo's creamy thighs and too too sexy bust."

"Yeah, I've caught her checking out my girl form's butt sometimes as well, she really is a pervert despite what she - "

</i>

No, no, no! Akane shook it off. Concentrate, girl! You're letting Nabiki into your head and -

<i>"Oh, now I'm the one in the naked apron? Gosh, sis, you really are a pervert!"</i>

Gaaah, get out! Get that image out! If you're not careful then soon enough you'll be imagining every girl around you in -

"Hey Akane!" said Ukyo Kuonji, standing there in an apron. Not a naked apron, luckily, but she was in an apron. "You think Ranchan will like it? I've got a hot date with him at lunchtime."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll love it," Akane said quite flatly. "I think he's on a date with Shampoo right now, so -"

"Yeah, I know," Ukyo sighed. "I tried to buy the morning date off your sister, but Shampoo beat me to it. A lunch date sounds fun too though. You really let a good catch slip through your fingers there!"

....

"Hold up," Akane said. "What was that about buying a date off my sister again?"