Story: Pride and joy

 

When you think of the fiance brigade, the general impression you'd get of Ukyo is the smart one. Not ruthless cunning like Shampoo or Kodachi, not more aware of herself and those around her like Akane, but just kinda... Smart. Capable. I mean. This is a girl who runs her own business. In Japan. She was able to attend an all boy's school without getting caught. That's quite the feat by itself, you realise? The others might have more martial ability, but she had the social and business acumen to pull off both those feats. So she's pretty smart, right?

... Would you like to guess how long it took her to realise that she had a tail, cat ears, and a more flexible body than before? Would it be when her tail disturbed a trash can? Would it be when she absently scratched the back of her ears, or perhaps when she licked her arm for no apparent rhyme or reason?

Nope. Not at all. She was too busy grumbling to herself about what a monumental waste of time this was.

"Shampoo horny, reward Ukyo with sex."

... No, still a waste of time dammit. Urgh! This whole situation she'd gotten herself into was so stupid, and also really horny, which was making her feel just a little bit upset. And horny. She'd been trying to avoid looking at Shampoo right now because the stupider she got, the sexier she became, and she did not want to take advantage of her.

Which meant she didn't notice. She was wandering on her merry way, feeling a weird spring in her step that she figured was because Shampoo was rubbing up against her, and she smelled really nice. But no! She refused to dignify this with a response. The most she would do is return this girl right to her home, then head off and try to not think about the money she'd lost from this little venture.

"Hey, you missing one delivery girl?" Ukyo called out. "Well here she is!"

"Shampoo, my beloved!" and in comes Mousse with the flying tackle. Naturally, he grabbed Ukyo rather than the girl he actually liked. Was it any wonder she hated him so much? Ukyo wasn't exactly feeling partial to him either right now. "Ah...But why do you and the Kuonji girl have cat ears and a tail? Is there a costume party I'm unaware of?"

In the next moment Ukyo slammed her battle spatula onto the half blind jerk, flattening him against the floor. Only then did she register what he'd said.

"Cat ears? A tail?" Ukyo shook her head. "Nya! That idiot's got really bad eyesight if he thinks we have..."

Which was when Shampoo began to play with her tail. Rolling around on the floor, batting it with her paws like it was a little mouse toy dangling from a string. It's kinda hard to not notice something like that, so Ukyo slowly turned around, took a good long look at the admittedly adorable sight of Shampoo indulging in feline instincts to an absurd degree...

And then she screamed. Oh the profanity, the profanity of it all!

=====

Cologne is a bit twisted. Just in case you hadn't noticed. She was actually enjoying quite a lot of this mess surrounding her future son in law. That wasn't even a joking nickname at this point, she was a hundred percent sure that she was getting what she really wanted out of all this - Shampoo was going to give Ranma a kid within about a year or two tops at the rate they were going.

Yes, yes, the little skirmish with Ryoga was a minor setback to the issue, but she was confident that he'd get over that in due time. Of more importance immediately, though, was the state of Shampoo and the Kuonji girl. Shampoo was currently sitting on the floor with her leg over her head, licking the underside of her thighs, while Ukyo was staring and squirming in rather obvious desperation and lust. How absolutely adorable of the two of them.

"Hrm, yes, they do seem to be real," Cologne observed. Her hands squeezed Ukyo's ears, and she watched the girl's discomfort. To be safe, she clapped her hands next to the cat ears, and then her regular human ears. "You heard both, yes?"

"Nyaaa - I mean, yes!" Ukyo purred. This was getting better and better ."Wait, hold on, I have both cat and human ears...?"

"The eternal argument of the catgirl," Cologne said. "Clearly you must have the cat ears atop your head, but do you also have human ears? How does it affect your hearing? Does it mean you hear better? Does sound leave you confused and disoriented? Furthermore - "

"I'm long since past caring about the biological implications of our situation," Ukyo snapped. This actually seemed pretty reasonable. They were regularly getting dicked by a penis that was as long as their torso, and as thick as an arm. That should split a woman clean in two, and yet their reports only came back with 'greatest experience of my life, would do again in a heartbeat, actually I'd like another go the moment I catch my breath'. In light of that, the biological implications of their situation probably weren't all that important to them anymore. "Can. You. Fix. This?"

"Probably," Cologne said. "It seems that the two of you are under some form of curse. Possibly from the delivery you made. It's likely that it was aimed at one cute girl, but since two cute girls showed up it split the difference."

Shampoo had rolled over onto her back, and so Ukyo reached out to pat her belly. This was, as it always is with cats, a trap, and Shampoo's limbs closed around Ukyo's arm, trapping her hand right there. Truly, an insidious and devious trap that few can resist.

"Then cure it already!" Ukyo snapped.

"That might be an issue," Cologne said. She then pulled out an encyclopedia to have a look. "Yes, if I'm right then... Hold on, we're nowhere near new years surely, we just had a beach episode... Hrm... Alright, let's fudge it a bit and say you have a week for Ranma to kiss you both, or you will be catgirls forever."

"Ranma?" Ukyo replied. "The boy with ailurophobia? The boy that is so scared of cats that, if trapped for a sufficient amount of time with one, will make him behave like a cat until he's made to calm down? That Ranma?"

"Indeed, the two of you might have issues with that," Cologne said. "Especially since it means he'll be far too stressed out to sexually satisfy - "

"Nooooo!" Shampoo yelled, sitting up bolt upright and clutching at her cheeks in an expression of absolute despair. "Shampoo no can live without airen's tender touch! Or his rough touch! Or his touch in general!"

"... I thought you were supposed to be a bimbo catgirl right about now?" Ukyo quipped.

"Some things more important than curses." Shampoo's ear twitched. "This one of them!"

To Ukyo's very obvious irritation, she did seem to agree with that. Oh my word, how amusing this little development was. Yet at the same time... hrm. Cologne was a little worried. This was definitely a much higher rate of perverted antics confronting this group of martial artists than one would expect. Even when you factored in the existence and presence of Happosai, the maths simply didn't work out!

Who was unbalancing that equation, then...? Something for her to keep a close eye on. From the background. While also kind of enjoying the antics. She was a little bit twisted, after all.