Story: Pride and Joy

 

Every anime series worth its salt has a beach episode. Or a hot spring episode. Often both. A chance to have its girls prance around in skimpy bikinis, barely dressed, while certain common tropes play out. Well, today Ranma (girl form) was here on a mission. Over there was Watermelon Island, the mysterious place where that utter buffoon Tatewaki Kuno had learned a weird breast enhancing martial art.

Together, they were going to find out how this dumb technique worked. They were going to figure out a way to undo it. Then, they were going to beat the living crap out of Kuno. Not for any particular practical reason, he just had it coming for <i>trying to take his treasure from him</i> and <i>touching his treasure without permission</i>.

Trick was, there were two key problems with this plan. The first problem was -

"H-Hey, Ranma! Does this swimsuit fit me okay?" Akane asked. Ranma jumped a little, and turned to look. She was standing there, wearing an orange one piece that rode quite high on her hips and barely kept her breasts restrained, but was otherwise fairly modest and practical as swimsuits go. The mere sight of her sent butterflies leaping about in the pit of Ranma's stomach, despite being in girl form. "Hrmmm? What's this? Could it be...? I'm actually bigger than your girl form now?"

"Enjoy it while it lasts, tomboy..." Ranma snorted.

"Enjoy what?" Nabiki asked, being obnoxious as usual, holding her hands out behind her head. Leaning back, rubbing her boobs right into the side of Ranma's head. "Hey, come on Ranma, tell me. What is she supposed to enjoy exactly?" Nabiki had decided to go for a purple one piece, which didn't have a neckline like Akane's was, but that just meant her breasts were spilling out the sides, creating a ridiculous amount of sideboob that she was weaponising viciously.

"Nabiki!" Kasumi admonished, guiding the middle Tendo daughter away, but doing so in a manner that caused her own breasts to bounce very obviously right in front of Ranma's face. She'd gone for a bikini, quite daring for the normally demure woman. "Please don't tease Ranma like that. If you're not careful, you'll turn yourself on too quickly, and then where would you be?"

Cue Shampoo jumping onto Ranma from out of nowhere, hanging on around Ranma's neck like a noose. That is, if a noose came with a spectacular pair of boobs that were restrained only by a bright red bikini. "Sisters stop teasing airen, he here for too too good reason, right airen?"

"Ohohohoho!" And there's Kodachi, who had quite deliberately gone for the most daring look of all. The only one bold enough to go for a string bikini. Jet black, of course, because why wouldn't she? "How cheeky of you to make such a remark while deliberately pressing your new assets into his... her? Back."

And that was their group. That led to the second problem Ranma was having. Ukyo hadn't come. She was the only one to escape having her boobs enlarged by Kuno's technique. She had said that she didn't need to be there, her restaurant had to take priority.... But it was obvious, even to a dolt like Ranma, that she was still upset about the sauce thing. It sort of ate at him, you know? His treasure should be <i>all together</i>. Having most of them here - but not that one - made it feel... wrong somehow.

Nothing else for it though, but to suck it up and get it over with. Heading over to that island like this, it would be risky... Ranma looked around at the other girls. They were tough. They were... Bouncy. And big. Annoyingly big. It was honestly starting to tick him off as much as it was turning him on.

"Everyone! Who wants to split this watermelon!" Kasumi called out, producing an actual watermelon and a blindfold. Hands went up, though Ranma went down.

"Not the time for this, Kasumi!" Ranma called out, while face first down in the sand. But the other girls had already grabbed blindfolds and sticks. Urgh... At this point, Ranma was pretty sure they were doing this on purpose to mess with him. "Alright, fine. I'll go by myself, I'll check this stupid thing out and get you all sorted before you know it."

Heck, maybe he'd bring along some hot water and learn the technique himself. Bringing them along might have been a mistake anyway, what were they gonna do that he couldn't by himself? Turn him on? Distract him? 

"Hey, let's play volleyball and frolick in the sand and ocean!"

Admittedly, with bodies like those they would be pretty effective at that. Still, Ranma couldn't quite escape this creeping feeling like something wasn't quite right here...

In fact, looking around Ranma was seeing quite a few women here. Almost all of them with big, bouncy boobs. Some were accompanied by flatter friends or relatives, others with men. Something about their behaviour felt... off.

"Hey, come on Aki, we came here to find a way to undo this!"

"Geez, get a grip, while we're at the beach we should have some fun!"

Huh, that was kinda weird...

"You know what girls, we can sort these out anytime we want now that we're here! Let's kick back and soak up some sun. How often do we get to go the beach?"

"Yeah! Especially with our new boobies! Let's show 'em off a little!"

That was also concerning. Ranma started wandering the beach for a bit, eavesdropping on ongoing conversations. It was the same thing every time. A whole bunch of chicks with ridiculously oversized melons were shrugging off going to watermelon island in favour of - as one group had put it - 'acting like a bunch of girls in an anime beach episode'.

"That tears it, something's definitely up with this beach..." Ranma muttered to herself. Whatever it was, she was determined to get to the bottom of it. Nobody messed around with <i>her</i> treasure and got away with it!

<hr>

Recently, Mousse had somehow managed to escape getting perpetually lost with Ryoga Hibiki. This was a harder thing than it sounds on paper, and it probably already sounded quite challenging to anyone that knew them. Mousse could not see landmarks very well, and Ryoga could no more read a map than he could jump to the moon and back.

One would think that would be the worst traveling experience of his life. However - 

"Where are we going?" asked Tatewaki Kuno.

"Watermelon island," Mousse said. "Keep rowing."

"Ah," Kuno replied. He stopped rowing for a bit and frowned. "Why are we going there?"

"To find out what's going on with Ranma Saotome," was Mousse's answer.

"That fiend, Saotome?!" Kuno roared, rising to his feet and making ready to draw his sword. "Where is he? I shall slice him down!"

Mousse sighed. He knew full well that Ranma was on the beach behind them, and that if he so much as hinted at this fact, then Kuno would try to go back there. So instead: "He's on the island. Learning a new technique that will make him a danger to women everywhere." He said that in a distinct monotone. Like someone working their first call centre job, so they're just reading off the script without putting any effort into it.

"He's on the island we're rowing to," Mousse said.

"I see!" Kuno said, resuming rowing. Then ten seconds later, asking "So where are we going?"

This was the conversational equivalent of water torture. At first you don't mind it too much. Then it gets annoying. Then it becomes hell, and you start begging, pleading for it to stop. In all honesty, Mousse was starting to regret bringing the dummy along. However... Shampoo had scrubbed his memory for a reason. That bizarre technique he had used on her... Enhancing her already full feminine figure like that out of nowhere. What was the meaning behind it? How did it tie into her strange behaviour of late? Bringing Kuno along felt reasonable at the time, but now he was giving serious thought to tying his leg to something heavy and pushing him out of the boat.

His robes certainly had plenty of heavy hidden items within them. All tucked away, ready to pull out at a moment's notice. He had chains, he had swords, he had maces, he had heavy weights tied with ribbons designed to disguise them when he threw them out. Why, he even had a collection of bricks strapped to his...

"Do you hear creaking?" Kuno asked.

"I hear a forgetful idiot that I shouldn't have brought - " Mousse got out, before the boat gave way and dropped them both into the ocean. Mousse had forgotten the first rule of cartoon physics. Never, ever acknowledge how heavy you are in a situation that specifically screws you over. For once, he should be thankful for his Jusenkyo curse, or things could have gotten very hairy for the blind idiot.