Story: Haruhi Titnosis

 

It was pretty unusual for Yuki to be away from the clubroom. Normally she'd beat us there, and already be nose deep in some book or other. Not so much today, which meant there were only a handful of places she could be. Future Asahina and myself were rather quick to locate her - coming out of the student council's office. She must have been delivering a report, or the council president had called her in for some reason - No matter! I'd found her now, and it was (bouncy jiggly, jiggly, fun, fun, fun!) imperative that I bring (jiggly bouncy jiggly bouncy!) Yuki to Haruhi Suzumiya as soon as humanly possible.

"Hey, Yuki!" I said, waving at her as calmly as I could, even though my brain was full of Haruhi's tits. "Haruhi wanted the entire club together. We'd better get there sharpish."

"My most sincere apologies, Miss Nagato!" the older Miss Asahina bowed deeply. Her breasts flopped around as if gravity wasn't working on them properly. "But before you do see Miss Suzumiya, I do need your help with something."

Yuki was staring at her quite intensely, and I could easily see why. It's not hard to comprehend, especially after she used those tits to rub me off. Not as nice as Haruhi's, but nothing in this universe was. Except for the possibility of stuffing Yuki's face into Haruhi Suzumiya's cleavage and watching her alien brain leak out her ears.

...

What was I thinking about just now? Oh yes, I was trying not to stare down Future Asahina's top, because it was extremely jigglingly essential that I bring Yuki Nagato's flat chest along to see Haruhi Suzumiya as soon as I could. Which meant getting past Miss Future Asahina's asinine complaints about the timeline being all bouncy and wrong, yet also perfect and round and warm and soft to the touch and -

A closed space appeared around us, centred around Yuki Nagato. Her expression was as neutral as ever. Nonetheless, I had by now determined ways to discern her mood through subtle, very subtle body language cues. She was... concerned? That was new.

"There are numerous anomalies present throughout the school," Yuki said. To demonstrate this, she rocked on her heels, and her breasts (small though they may be) began to jiggle and quake in a way very similar to what Asahina was experiencing. "All girls are experiencing this phenomenon."

"Ehh...? Really?" Future Asahina gasped. "Every girl has breasts that are bouncing like they're in zero gravity...? That's not normal!"

"I have also performed and analysis on all female students and faculty," Yuki continued. "None of them are wearing their hairstyle in a ponytail."

Something in my heart cracked upon hearing something so utterly twisted. None of the girls in school... none of the women either... Not a single one of them was wearing their hair in a ponytail?! I turned to Miss Future Asahina, planning to insist she tie her hair up in one right this moment... But then words failed me because bouncy titties Haruhi's titties, must obey Haruhi's titties be her slave her obedient slave -

"I don't think this is really all that important, is it?" I said. I had to hurry things along as much as possible. "So what? A bunch of girls decided not to wear their hair a particular way today. Also, this thing about bouncing breasts seems a little dubious, are you sure there's something to that?"

"Positive," was the cold, clinical reply. Tsk! That's a little annoying, honestly. "The datafield within the local area is -"

"Haruhi was wearing a ponytail when I saw her, so your data is off anyway," I interrupted, waving my hand to dismiss this trivial matter. Then again, all things were trivial when compared to the tits. "I'm sure there's really nothing wrong here. We should get back to the clubroom and discuss things there."

"No, I believe that Nagato is quite right to be fearful."

Oh good, just who I wanted to see! Koizumi, somehow managing to slip inside this closed space. No doubt some application of his 'Esper' powers that he'd never mentioned until now. I had to admit, he seemed a little bedraggled for some reason.

"Pardon my appearance, it was quite a rough one this time," Koizumi said, though his smile - as ever - hid how he was truly feeling. His emotional state was simply impossible to read. "I believe that despite our best efforts, Haruhi Suzumiya has discovered something supernatural. I wouldn't normally take you all to see it, but it's quite the sight to behold."

"It can wait until later," I interjected. "Come on, Yuki! Haruhi wants to see you right away."

"That would probably be a bad idea right now," Koizumi said. The interfering little - 

"Well, I disagree," I replied. "Let's stop hanging around here and - "

Boing, boing, boing! Without warning, I was inexplicably being pinned down by Future Asahina's breasts. Huh?! What? What was happening? I tried to push her away, but to no avail. It was as if her body was magnetised to mine!

"My most sincere apologies," Koizumi said. His hands were raised into the air, his fingers twitching as if he was tugging on a marionette's strings. "Part of the issue is that Espers have developed new strange powers. All related to breasts. This is why I believe that Haruhi Suzumiya has developed an understanding of the supernatural existing - this appears to be a reflection of those supernatural elements."

"Ehhhhhhhh!" Future Asahina whined. "I'm soooo sorry Kyon! I can't stop rubbing my breasts up against your - Your body! Ehhhhhhhh!"

That whine was quite a familiar one. Nonetheless, before I could do anything, Yuki Nagato had also stepped up to me and put her hands on either side of my head.

"This may prove quite painful," she said. "I am about to interface with your brain to analyse why you are behaving this way."

Why was I behaving this way? The reason for that should be obvious. Because of Haruhi's bouncy perfect magnificent melons absolutely shattering my will and making me her willing, eager plaything. Her boyfriend, her lover, her toy. For no other reason than bouncy, enormous, heaving, smooth, warm, magnificent, splendid, round, jiggly, superb lovely love her lover her love her lots and lots and lots and jiggle and fun and worship her tits, glory to her tits, submit to her tits...

They bounced and bounced inside my head. Moulding my thoughts. Shaping my thoughts. All the while Haruhi's pretty, gorgeous face smiled and grinned knowingly at me. Submit to her tits! Yield to her tits! So big, so perfect, so -

"Heaving, jiggling, perfect..." Yuki muttered to herself, wobbling on her feet. She pulled away, and when she did I came back hard to reality. What was I thinking about right now? Oh yes. I was thinking about the all consuming need to get Yuki back to the clubroom, right away! "Upon analysis, it is now clear that there is something strongly amiss," Yuki said. "I believe that Haruhi Suzumiya has discovered something extremely ridiculous."

"Ridiculous, you say?" Koizumi gravely said. "If you're saying that, it must be truly remarkable... Which does fit what I came upon this time around."

I stared at him, kind of wanting to ask what it was, but had to calculate whether or not it would more efficiently let me bring these two to Haruhi.

"That being, Haruhi and Kyon... An enormous version of both of them, being heavily intimate with one another," Koizumi coughed. "Based on your reaction, Miss Nagato, it would be dangerous to... Aha, you seem to be patting down your own chest. That rather answers the question, I fear. Come along, Kyon. I suspect we have some very difficult work ahead of us."