Ranma and Akane were not strangers to misadventures. Far from it. Quite often they would find themselves pulled into some nonsensical happenstance, encountering zany characters while out shopping, minding their own business, generally getting on with their own life before some wild and wacky lunatic intruded and yoinked them violently into something far outside their normal experience.
Normally they would be happy to - Well, no, not happy as such. Perhaps willing would be a better emotional state to express? Yes, they would normally be willing to play along. Help someone out that was in grave danger. Put down some great threat before it ruins too many lives.
Today, they were hesitant. Today, they had encountered Azusa's mother. Who wanted them to go on a mission to rescue Azusa. A woman who, within ten minutes of meeting her, it had become apparent was a far, far bigger trouble magnet than they were. Than ten of them put together. That must have psychologically scarred Ranma's father in their youth.
You can forgive them for not wanting anything to do with this, right? This was one call to adventure that felt like an agreement to walk through the gates of hell while whistling nonchalantly.
"Ah, well, we'd love to come along, but you know how it is," Akane began. She nudged Ranma with her elbow. "Other commitments coming up, like - You know!"
"Uh... there's a vampire lady on the loose in Furinkan, and we were just in the middle of working out..." Ranma was interrupted by a thunderbolt, that made Usagi's outline look like something far more monstrous than a mere vampire for a second there.
"Elanora's loose again, is she?" More thunder struck, three in quick succession, each time making Usagi's silhouette seem less and less human. "It's been such. A. Long. Time. Since I talked. With. Her. How is she? Still obsessed with Genma?"
Once, Ranma and Akane had battled against a multi-headed dragon, each head being much larger than they were. Akane had been turned into a doll while Ranma had to fight a flying fireball throwing megalomaniac who could annihilate mountaintops. Hell, once they'd been locked in a room with a hungry tiger! On none of those occasions had they felt more in danger than they were sitting here, talking to Genma's childhood friend.
"I'm... not sure?" Ranma said. "When she was speaking with mom - " More thunder, less human, more danger. "She- She seemed kinda... Annoyed that this much, uh, time had passed, so I think she was - She was going to head back to her home and... Uh..."
"Oh, right. Your mother," Usagi smiled. "Where is Nodoka again?"
"She met up with Koharu - " Yet more thunder! "Y-You see, Koharu's daughter is pregnant and - " Oh gosh that was a lot of thunder striking in quick succession. It was like Zeus had discovered the machine gun and wanted to give it a try.
"Koharu, you say...?" Usagi mused. "Perhaps I can get the gang all back together! I'm sure they'd be happy to help me rescue my little Azusa from that Egyptian Pharaoh... But you'd better deal with Elanora while we're doing that, okay? Tell me, where would I find Koharu's daughter?"
Ranma gave her the address for Ucchan's, and watched her leave. Both of them waved goodbye to her - then slumped over the second she was out of sight.
"Akane, my hands are trembling," Ranma said. Indeed, holding them up, they were indeed trembling. "It felt like I just shook hands with a Shinigami."
"Did we do the right thing, there?" Akane asked. "I mean, we maybe should have helped to save Azusa, right?"
"You mean save the ancient mummy stupid enough to kidnap her?" Ranma asked. Akane scowled, but she obviously could not refute the point. "I'm just glad we don't have to deal with her. It sounded like my old man was dragged into her nonsense all the time."
"Yeah..." Akane said. She was still scowling, but the muscles had shifted position slightly. It was a subtle thing, but... "She kind of gave up too easily, don't you think? Your father should have been able to get away from her more often if it was that simple."
"Maybe she's mellowing with a couple decades behind her?" Ranma shrugged. "Anyway, let's try to put that behind us and - What's that?"
Akane was about to ask what he meant, but then she saw it as well. There was something lying on the ground. Something that wasn't usually there. Akane moved first, heading over to pick it up to take a look, and - "It's some sort of gold jewelry..." Akane began, and that was when she was zapped by something or other.
"Ah, finally!" Akane said in a deep baritone. She rose to her feet in an overly dramatic fashion and dusted down her clothes, then looked around with a regal bearing. "After thousands of years of slumber, I awaken once again to -"
Ranma flicked her on the nose. "Haha, very funny, cut that out."
"You dare, mortal?! I am Priestess Anat, named for the Goddess of - " Nose flick! "Cut that out, lest you feel my wrath!" She lifted her hand to point at Ranma - only for her other hand to grab that wrist and harshly pull it away.
"Oh, no you don't! Leave my husband alone!" Akane yelled in her more normal voice.
"What is this?! A mortal able to fight back?" Back in the baritone.
"I've been possessed enough times by now to know how to fight back! Get out of my body!"
"Not until I am reunited with my beloved Nezemab!"
Ranma watched the show and nodded along, still not quite taking it seriously. To his mind, Akane was messing with him. Pretending she was possessed just because she grabbed that weird piece of gold jewelry that looked kinda like an eye. Struggling with herself, trying to prevent herself from laying an ancient curse upon him...
Honestly, he was starting to wonder if it was some kind of foreplay, because it was getting him in the mood. A bit of close time with his new wife certainly wouldn't go amiss, huh?
"You know, now that we're alone..." Ranma began, only to have to duck when an energy beam shot out of Akane's hand that made a swarm of locusts strike the wall of the Tendo compound. "Oh. You actually are possessed? You're not playing around?"
"Dummy! Of course I'm -"
"Handsome warrior!" the baritone said, grabbing Ranma's hands. "Take me to my beloved - Or I suppose you could just take me instead? It's been a lonely few thousand - "
"Hands off my husband!"
Cue one weary, weary sigh from Ranma Saotome, as he watched his wife battle against the spirit that was possessing her. Turns out they weren't getting away that easily, huh? Of course not. Why would anything ever be easy for him?
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