Meanwhile, at the Mirror Mansion, a certain Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh by the name of Nezemab was having some real regrets about his decision to marry the daughter of the fool that awoke him all these many Centuries later. The girl was cute enough. Certainly to his tastes in terms of appearance. She was healthy, athletic, no doubt she would provide strong children to continue the line...
And yet?
"Yay! Amorette!" Azusa Shiratori squealed happily, snuggling into the curtain hanging in front of the obviously cursed mirror hanging at the back of the hall. "Come with me, Amorette! You're such a cute curtain!"
"Please sir, for the love of all that's holy!" the apparent proprietor of this property desperately clutched onto Nezemab's legs, sobbing gently. "If she were to look in that mirror, it would be a worse blight than any of your curses! Two of them! There would be two of them!"
"Beloved Azusa!" Nezemab called across the hall. "As my wife, I must insist that you -"
Azusa then stuck her tongue out at him. "Not cute!" she said, and Nezemab's bandage covered face fell. Not cute? Not cute?! He was the cutest Pharaoh in history, according to a survey conducted entirely using his slave labour force! How dare his future bride mock him so!
He lifted his hand, raising a mystical sceptre that would inflict a terrible curse upon her. Let's see, what should it be? Should it be the curse of famine? Make her eternally hungry, never able to satiate herself? Or perhaps a pox of some sort? Whichever it was, he would undo it when she apologised and agreed to marry him, thus ensuring his revival -
"Philippine!" Only for the little kleptomaniac to snatch it from his grip and cradle it lovingly as if it was a pet. "Oh, you're such a cute little sceptre! The absolute cutest!"
Do you know, now that he was thinking about it, there were certain traits in common between mother and daughter. Apparently oblivious, causes trouble to people around them without seeming to notice or care, and thoroughly obsessed with other people's treasures.
To be perfectly honest, if it wasn't for that body then Nezemab would've tossed this plan in the trash already and sought out another girl. But, you know, he always had a thing for thighs and this girl had them for days! A true treasure of the modern age!
That being said, he had to agree with the proprietor. If there were two of these girls... then modern mankind may truly be doomed. Even more so than if he were to revive. How strange to think that he might not be the greatest monster in the room.
"Come along, Philippine! I want to see what you look like if we wrap you up in Amorette!"
Might not? Forget that! He definitely wasn't! Think of the thighs, Nezemab! Think of the thighs!
<hr>
The door to Ucchan's opened wide, and as soon as it did Konatsu was there to greet the new customers with a cute smile and a friendly expression, as per usual. She patted her very pregnant belly, while behind the counter Ukyo was grilling away while naturally as cute as cute could be from simply standing there.
"Hello and welcome to - "
"Konatsu~"
This was something Nodoka could understand quite well. Not seeing her son ever since they were very small, for them to grow up without your influence to the point you would hardly recognise them. Still, Koharu did rush right by Konatsu and embraced Ukyo instead, enveloping her in a great big hug. Yes, well. Nodoka herself had made that mistake with Ranma, imagining him to take more after his father than he actually did.
"Oh, Konatsu! You've grown up to be such a strong manly boy~" Koharu continued. "Don't be shy, now! Your birth mother is finally here to take care of you again! That must be Ukyo over there, oh, Nodoka was telling me how cute a couple you made together! She told me about Jusenkyo, too, so you don't need to panic about that at all."
Ukyo, for her part, seemed pretty bewildered by this sudden embrace. Her martial artist's instincts had doubtless failed to detect any form of malice, and so the inexplicable hug was leaving her totally flat footed.
Konatsu, on the other hand, was quite a skilled kunoichi, even several months pregnant, and was able to get behind Koharu and hold a spatula to her neck. "Please do not approach my beloved so carelessly," Konatsu said. "It would be terrible for that to be the last mistake you ever - Did you say biological mother?"
Then, Koharu was behind Konatsu, and all that had a spatula to its neck was a dummy. Of course. The old substitution trick. How nostalgic, she'd clearly kept on top of her skills.
"Oh, what a cute wife you have, and so far along!" Koharu purred, arms wrapped around Konatsu to stroke her belly. "Eheheehe! I'm gonna be a granny! I can't wait to meet them! Oh! I'll have to make sure to train them to be the very best ninja they can be!"
"Ahem!" Nodoka coughed. "Actually, Koharu. Through the magic of Jusenkyo, that actually is your son, under the curse of the spring of drowned girl. Ukyo used temporary spring of drowned boy water to curse herself." She waited a little bit. It had taken quite a bit for Nodoka herself to accept Ranma's curse. If she'd found out the day she'd first arrived at the Tendos, without first getting to know 'Ranko', it was hard to tell how she would react. How would Koharu take it? How would she react to this revelation?
"Oh?" Koharu said. "Well, whatever, I've seen weirder! Just last week, I saw a moth the size of a jumbo jet in some crummy forest. Some guy with a brush wound up wapping it on the head."
Ahhh... She took it better than Nodoka was expecting, as it happened. How nice. Now that the initial shock of that sudden meeting was over with, the atmosphere within the restaurant was a great deal more relaxed.
"So, you're Konatsu's mother?" Ukyo asked. "I guess I see the resemblance, but I thought - "
"Long story, I've spent the better part of the last two decades in a whirlwind of adventure."
While Nodoka had spent the better part of the last two decades living by herself, scraping together funds and living the life of the poor travelling martial artist's wife. Learning how to be frugal, how to reuse things she already had. Alone. Waiting for her husband to return. Waiting to see how their son had turned out.
"I would've come to check in on you sooner, but it would've put your lives in danger!"
A son who was now married to a quite wonderful woman. They would be starting their own family soon, and she'd completely missed out on it.
"Ah, the things I must have missed out on! Come on, the pair of you! I need to hear how you met up."
The silly adventures of her youth, with all those girls tripping over themselves to land Genma... Hrmph! Well! What did she care? It wasn't as if she missed any of those adventures! Don't be stupid. If - If she really felt like it, then she could still go on a wacky, zany adventure with the best of them and hold her own! She simply didn't want to anymore, because - because she was a mature woman now, and not the ditzy tsundere she was when she was young! Perish the thought that she should do something daft like getting embroiled in -
The door to Ucchan's burst open yet again, this time with Ellanora rushing inside. Or trying to, and being repelled.
"Curses, this restaurant must double as a residence! Invite me in! Before those lunatics see me!"
Nodoka sighed wearily. "You may enter, Ellanora, but no funny business."
"Ellanora?" Ukyo asked. "You mean, the Ellanora mentioned on these?"
She was pointing at a poster on the back wall, that Nodoka never paid any heed. What was this now? It was... a very crude and childish drawing of a vampire woman, and listed below it were things like -
"Stock up on garlic and crosses if you see her," Ellanora read aloud from the poster. "Note that she cannot cross running water. Spill rice into a pile to make her count it all up. Hsss! So this is why the locals are tossing rice at me?! Everyone I ran into seemed determined to toss rice at me!"
"Uh, yeah," Ukyo said, while Konatsu pulled out a bag of rice. "For some reason, all the local restaurants get into a yearly thing where we practise in case some freaky vampire lady comes back. Is that you?"
Ellanora slumped forward, dejected. "Everyone knows my weaknesses?!" she wailed. "Oh, Nodoka! Koharu! How is a vampire supposed to unlive like this? My Genma, he grew old and fat! His son is married to a violent tomboy, and my own place of residence is protected by a vampire killer family! I must take drastic measures to ensure my rightful seat of power is maintained! And... I think I know just the method to obtain my victory! To the forest of the Mushrooms of Time! If Genma is old, then I shall make him young again! Kukukuku!"
Konatsu then chucked the rice at Ellanora - but too late. She'd turned into a bat and flown back out the door, apparently satisfied now she'd found new purpose. How endlessly tiresome. But on the other hand.
"Oh darn, as Genma's wife I suppose that I should go and stop her evil, evil plan. Curses, for I am lamentably dragged back into a long resolved conflict from the happ- I mean, strangest time of my life."
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