Story: Ranmasexual

 

 A newsflash for everyone not in the know: Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo are idiots. You want some evidence to back up that assertion? Don't worry, you'll get it.

At this moment in time, they were at the Tendo home. Relaxing after an exciting evening's misadventure - Or to put it another way, Akane's fake kidnapping, put to it by her friends on the assumption it would get Akane some action.

Akane herself was sneaking peeks at Ranma and trying to think of ways to seduce him. Failing, largely because she kept on getting distracted by him. Which was annoying. Frustrating beyond measure. In fact, she'd go so far as to say it was unfair. How was she meant to seduce him if...

"Gee, it sure is boring around here," Ranma said, stretching out his arms. Akane's fist reflexively clenched. Then, he fanned himself down. "Warm tonight, too." And now the ultimate tease, he removed his shirt. Letting her innocent eyes gaze upon the perfect, ultimate example of the male form. "How about you, Akane? You feeling hot?"

Behold, stupidity. Akane knew what he was doing. It was a 'test'. They were 'proving' that they weren't into each other by 'testing' one another. The thing was, Akane was into him. Super hard, ultra-mega into him in a way that defied reason, common sense, dignity and logic. She wanted nothing more than to saunter over towards him, sit in his lap and... do stuff. Stuff the fact that her family was there... Actually wait that was acting like a pretty good splash of cold water to the face. Phew, that would have been a bit embarrassing.

"I don't know, Ranma!" Akane said, feigning indifference, though certain she couldn't keep the trembling timber out of her voice. "Do you think I'm hot?"

Oh no what did she just ask?

"Oh my god, could you two just get a room already?" Nabiki asked. Right as Ryoga bit Akane's ankle. Hold on, that sounded weird. No, a musclebound sixteen year old boy did not randomly wander over and clamp down on her ankle out of nowhere. Instead, it was a little black piglet that they had adopted as a pet, and Ranma had taken to calling P-Chan, but was actually Ranma's arch-rival under a Jusenkyo curse that she'd found out about but not told Ranma about because it would be the same as giving easily exploitable information to his arch enemy.

Regardless of how much she wanted Ranma to pound her into the dirt, Akane was still a martial artist. Such a dishonourable action went against everything she believed. To whit -

"Yow! P-Chan! Cut that out!" Akane yelled, whapping him across the room, and directly into Ranma's waiting arm.

"Hey, don't bully the thing! You okay there, P-Chan?" Ranma asked, and the pig snuggled into Ranma's naked chest. Lucky bastard. Look at her. Jealous of swine. Utterly envious. "Attaboy, you're doing great, don't let the mean chick beat you up."

And, of course, this is where a certain pair of idiots slid in, Genma behind Ranma and Soun behind Akane. You know, thinking about it, you can plainly see where they get their stupidity from. The fathers pushed the two of them closer together and then jumped back.

"Please resume flirting," Soun said. His face utterly serious. You would hardly believe how protective he normally was of his daughters, in fact Akane would never imagine he would say that normally or about any other boy.

"Who's flirting?" Ranma yelled, while Akane went beet red. She wasn't meaning to! Ah, wait, yes she was! Was that flirting they were doing before? Ohhhh, if only she knew how to progress further! "Blegh! Forget this, I'm not sticking around here. See ya!"

And then he left. Just like that.

"Well fine! I have things to do as well!" Akane lied.

Naturally, this resulted in them going to the exact same place. The training hall. A section of the property at the rear that was devoted to martial arts rather than being a living space. Occasionally rented out for use as a meeting space for public events, or club gatherings, but generally intended for martial arts training, sparring, and duels.

But we get ahead of ourselves a little. Stepping back a minute or so, to Akane. Now that she was away from Ranma she could think clearly again. Sort of. She could digest, she could think, she could -

"Oh god we kissed," she realised while putting on her gi. Her fingers went up to her lips and trailed around them. More. She wanted more of that. She wanted them to kiss lots and lots and lots and lots. How? How should she make this happen? How should she set about making damned sure she got all the smoochies she could handle?

It was a dicey question. Somehow, she doubted 'let's test our physical attraction' was a game she could play for very long before he picked up on it and refused to play. Presumably until she admitted to him that she wanted his tongue scraping her tonsils 24/7.

Alright! She'd made a little progress so far. It wasn't much, but it was something. For now she was going to do the same thing she did whenever she got bored - head off to the dojo, stat! The perfect place to train, to clear her thoughts and prepare her mind and body for whatever came next! She walked off happily to the hall, eager to experiment a bit with her usual routine, mix things up to really push herself -

Then stopped cold when she saw Ranma Saotome with his shirt off moving smoothly through a kata. It was like watching butter melt in a pan. If the pan was shaped like a bronzed Adonis. Rippling muscles, precision movements, power, speed, technique. Akane's loins started to feel like they were going to... oh, she didn't know. Burst? Catch fire?  Also, who put these butterflies in her stomach, they were making her feel all weak in the knees? Ah! Aha! She could tell, her pupils are probably shaped like hearts or something right?

"You following me or something?" Ranma asked. "Came to look at my rippling physique?"

"Ah! No, no, it's a coincidence, a coincidence!" Akane protested. Anyone else wouldn't have believed her but, like her, Ranma was also an idiot when it came to affairs of the heart. "I - I mean, why would I want to come look at something like that while dressed up in a gi, you're acting as if I'm attracted to you or -"

She turned her head just a little, looking away from him only for a moment. In that small time, he'd managed to close inside her guard and...

Smooch.

Huh? Huh?! He was - He was kissing her! Again! This was their second kiss! Huh?! So soon? She expected that she'd have to work up to this, screw up her courage and come at this from a new angle, but now he was kissing her?! Again?! For real! What!

No, hold on girl, don't panic. Savour the moment. You don't know when your next one is going to be. Taste his lips, lean into it and -

He pulled back.

"How about that, feel anything there?" he asked.

Right. Right, he was testing her. Akane blinked slowly, realising that her panic over the fact he was kissing her again had made her entirely miss the chance to actually enjoy the experience.

"You caught me by surprise so I didn't really get the chance to..."

Then she pushed him up against a wall. Used one hand to slam the wall next to his head, while her leg was also lifted up to kick the wall next to his hip. The dreaded double kabedon!

"Why don't we do a fair test, and also find out if you're into me!"

Worth noting that he didn't fight her off or try to stop her in any way. No fear, no worries, just cocky determination. As if he was trying to prove a point. Well, so was she! Maybe... maybe he was dumb enough that he would fall for this longer than she thought? That was possible, right? His hands were on the small of her back. Resting there. Gently tugging her closer. Closer still. She went for it. This time with her mouth open. It was greedy. She felt so, so greedy. Like she'd walked up to a buffet and started piling everything onto her plate, absolutely everything without limit. This kiss lasted longer than the others. Akane made sure of that. She almost couldn't help herself, like going back for seconds. More, more, more, let this heat build up until it burned away their clothes, leaving only -

A small black pig chomping on your ankle.

"Yow!" Akane yelled. "You little swine!" Ryoga dashed off out of the training hall. "Oooh, I don't think that pig likes me very much!"

"No wonder, when you yell at him all the time," Ranma shrugged. "Anyway, you're here to spar, right? Come on, let's see if you've got that new technique nailed down yet. I wanna see its full potential!"

<hr>

Phew, that was a good workout. She'd say this for Ranma, when he got into martial arts mode he went all the way in. Akane had thought she was a freak about martial arts, but he outright put her to shame!

For now though, she was relaxing in a bath and smiling to herself. A playful giggle not too far away from escaping her lips, which she was very much thinking about right now. Three kisses. Three smoochies with the one and only person to ever get her interest.

Though she was still stuck on the same issue. What next? Should she just say 'I like you' and then hope he's down for more of that? Try to make him say it instead? Oooh, if only she knew how he really felt! If only she knew how to handle this kind of -

The door slid open and Akane's thoughts utterly reset. Before her stood a goddess. Naked, gleaming wet with a towel over her shoulder. It was Ranma. In girl form. Reminding Akane once again that both of Ranma's forms were the hottest things she'd ever seen in her entire life, and once when she was five she got into a staring contest with the sun.

Which she won because it set, by the way. Hrmph! Quitter!

"Oh, sorry didn't know you were in here," a voice coming somewhere north of Ranma's boobs spoke. "Eh, whatever, I mean, we're both girls right now so who cares, right?"

Hubbahubbahubbahubbahubba. Nnnnnnaked Ranma. Nnnnnude Ranma. Akane weakly nodded her head, she'd agree with literally anything she was told right now.

Nuuuuuuuude!

"Sorry to be a pain, but could you help me out? I got this ache in my back, could really do with a shoulder rub."

Something popped inside Akane's brain. Naked Ranma, nude Ranma, sexy girl Ranma was asking her to put her hands on her bare tender flesh and rub and squeeze and make her moooooan from a massage from her potent grip?! Her delicate splendid magnificent majestic shoulders were in need of a rubdown from her? This surpassed the kiss from earlier!

Look there, Akane. Out in the changing section of the bathroom, Ranma was sitting on a stool with her back to you. Inviting you to go ahead and do what you will. It's right there, all you have to do is take it. Like the Holy Grail, the Elixir of Eternal Youth, the Ambrosia of the Gods, if you offered all three to her if she would only turn down this chance, she would spit in your face for making such a poor offer.

But of  course, it was not to be, for this is when Ryoga seized her poor ankle in his teeth yet again.

"Yow!" Akane yelped. Then, with grit teeth she brought her foot back into the bath and slammed it down. "Sorry Ranma, can you wait a minute I have to take care of something!"

"Huh?" Right, so Ranma hadn't seen the pig there. Akane wasn't going to let her have the chance! She shoved that girl out of the room right away, then leaned back against the door as Ryoga rose from the bath and -

She was still naked.

"Pervert!" she hissed, slapping the taste out of his mouth. Then again for good measure. "What's the big idea?"

"Hrmph, I'm the pervert am I?" Ryoga asked. "I've seen the way you're looking at him. Looking at Ranma! Do you think I'll let you do that? Not so long as I'm around! Got it!"

This boy... Just as she thought. Deliberately interfering in her attempts to hook up with Ranma! This could mean only one thing!

Ryoga was in love with her. Well, it had to happen right? A martial arts chick like her would be bound to attract martial artists like this guy. Well. If that was the case he would have to be disappointed. Akane wasn't interested, and that was that!

Is that sufficient evidence for you all, ladies and gentlemen? Oh? You're satisfied that Akane is an idiot but not yet satisfied about Ranma?

Very well. Then hear this: Ranma did not believe for a second he was flirting with Akane.

...

We rest our case. You're most welcome.