Story: Negima C+S

 

 Quite the unusual trio we have here, don't you think? Asuna and Yue, that's not too strange. Mana, with these two? Odd. She stands out. Not just because of her height, tanned skin and overall foul demeanour. Yet here they were. Poking their heads around a corner as if they were some classic comedy trio about to break into some routine. Obviously Mana would be the 'straight man' of the group, while the other two would be the clumsy idiots of varying flavours.

"Are you sure about this?" Asuna asked. "You're sure she's the best target here?"

Mana, in keeping with the above prescribed persona, gently elbowed Asuna on top of her head. "Shush. Yes, I am quite certain. Now, please keep quiet while we consider our approach."

"I say we tie her up, tickle her feet, and make her admit to it," Yue said, prompting Mana to reach around Asuna and pinch her cheek.

"Take this seriously!" Mana warned. "Ayaka would be a good candidate to have on our - Where did she go?"

"Where did who go?" Ayaka asked from behind them.

This was going well so far. The conversation had just started and they were already a tangle of limbs. It bodes well for this team, really it does.

"G-Get her!" Asuna yelled, prompting Yue to dive for her and Ayaka, in turn, to step away deftly to the left. Causing the shorter girl to land flat on her face.

"Oh, my? Get me?" Ayaka tittered into the back of her hand. "Goodness, how playful! But Asuna, I'm a little too busy to play with -"

"I have pictures of Negi in the bath!" Asuna yelled, then turned bright red when she realised how loudly she'd said that. Please, please, won't someone deliver unto her a rock that she may hide beneath?

The reaction from Ayaka, though, was to deadlift Asuna right off the ground and, to all appearances, try to shake the pictures out of her possession.

"Hrm, this seems in character so far," Yue said. "Nothing out of sorts yet."

"My class is full of idiots," Mana said to nobody in particular, and not for the first time. "You don't test someone that way, you test them by -"

And then Yue flipped Asuna's skirt right where Ayaka could see.

"Bear print?" Ayaka asked. "Pffft, how immature, how utterly childish!"

"I thought that was to your taste," Asuna said. But instead of directing her ire towards the irksome class president, she instead grabbed Yue in a headlock. "Flip my skirt and show off my panties, would you?! Come here!"

Mana, deciding that these two had well and truly earned their membership in the Baka Rangers, took Ayaka aside and quickly explained the situation. You know, the whole premise of this story? That Chamo was using some weird spell to transform the girls of their class into perverts following his lead? That whole thing, not a big deal no need for us to retread it here. Ayaka listened attentively, understanding full well that Mana wouldn't bullshit her about this sort of thing. Asuna might, but not Mana.

Ayaka nodded when the explanation was complete. Understanding, comprehending, completely seeing the full picture of what was going on. "I see, so you're gathering allies to counteract Chamo's plan, and came to me for my wonderful leadership and organisation skills."

"Actually, we came to you because you're one of the biggest pervs in class, and Chamo probably didn't go for you first!" Yue announced, still being held in her headlock.

"What? How ridiculous? I, a perve-"

"Negi Springfield wearing a bunny onesie," Asuna said.

"Where?! Where is this precious thing, where?!" Ayaka asked, turning around every which way to catch sight of such a precious thing which, alas, did not exist. "Hrmph, was that supposed to be some sort of a point, Asuna? Surely anyone would react to the potential of such adorableness in a similar way!"

"Right, sure. Keep telling yourself that," Asuna rolled her eyes.

"Well, if you're going to be like that, then I'll be like this!" Ayaka said, pointing dramatically at the trio. "Let us say that you bring aboard all the biggest perverts in class into your little group! What then! If you have no means to counter Chamo's little spell, then those girls are doomed to being perverts forever! Resistance without an end goal is to wage a war of attrition until you have nothing left to fight with!"

This was something the three of them, even Mana, were trying very hard not to think about too hard. How to end this? The answer was... They didn't know. They didn't know enough about the spell or its effect on people. They didn't know if it was possible to counter it. They didn't know how they could find out a way to counter it.

The truth was that they had fallen into the same old trap that so many fall into when they don't know what to do. Do...Something. Anything. So long as it sounds like activity moving you in the right direction, do it. Quite often such logic makes things worse. Such actions can turn people against the movement, exacerbating aspects of the problem that were up until now hidden. Sometimes the compulsion to do something because it smells right is the worst thing you can do.

Even knowing that doesn't help much when you're up against a progressing antagonistic force. The pressure of time crunch to do something - <i>anything</i> - to put a stop to it before it advances too far can be overpowering. In this case they had decided to go after those they believed to be the least likely to be hit by Chamo and bring them on team as an extra pair of hands.

However, the question did remain. Did those perverts have the talent, knowledge or skill required to put an end to this before it progressed too far? A tricky question. What they really needed here were allies who knew a thing or three about magic. Three, because it's a magic number, right?

Despite that...

"No, I don't agree with that, not entirely," Asuna said. "We need to corner Chamo by any means necessary. The more people we have, the more that slippery stoat will have a hell of a time getting away from us. Our unique skills will throw him off balance, and we need to stop him getting other girls! The less girls that are perverts, the more time we have to figure out a way to reverse this!"

"Oh, listen to you!" Ayaka wiped a tear from her eye. "You almost sounded like a leader there, Asuna. It does my heart proud."

"Mine too!" said a nearby trash can. Mana suddenly found herself carrying both Asuna and Yue, who had jumped onto her in sheer fright. After a moment, some of the trash dislodged, revealing Kazumi's face poking out. "Oh, such development! I can't wait to tell everyone about it in tomorrow's newsletter!"

"Kazumi! What are you doing in that trash can?!" Asuna yelled.

"Indeed, it is most unsanitary," Ayaka agreed, slightly missing the point.

"Snooping for scoops! You'd be amazed the sorts of things you can learn from what people throw away! Did you know Misa eats like, two bags of prunes a day? I have no idea when she has the time to deal with the consequences of that."

"If you ever find out, keep it to yourself," Mana said.

"Peeping tom!" Yue yelled, pointing an accusatory finger. "How do we know you're not a pervert?!"

Indeed, that was an excellent question. Kazumi had been hiding in that trash can since the conversation began. What assurance had they that she was not a pervert? How could they know? How could they guess? The answer, as it turned out, was for Kazumi to roll her eyes and hand over her digital camera.

"No panty pictures, but I had plenty of opportunity to do so," Kazumi said. "So? Am I in? I think you'll find my set of skills quite useful to your group."

"No panty pictures..." Asuna confirmed. "Right, there's no way you would be able to resist - "

"Which reminds me... Bear print panties..." Kazumi jotted down. "Very immature for your - gack!"

Cue yet another headlock from Asuna, determined to keep the news about her preference for underwear as secret as possible. Meanwhile, Mana and Ayaka watched on from the sidelines.

"We're doomed, aren't we?" Mana asked. Ayaka patted her on the shoulder reassuringly.

"Enjoy the ride while it lasts," Ayaka said. "Now then. The five of us should look into who else to recruit. Any ideas?"